Why did he do this, day after day? Sometimes he even doubted his usefulness at this task, anymore. What had one student called him upon graduation? A twisted old man with a heart black as coal and a soul of ice. An accurate description actually, he did feel twisted, cold and black. Sometimes he wondered the point of trying to save a world that had spat him back out. He missed the cool precision of his class room at this moment, as he walked through the dark crypt-like halls of where he was. Things were accelerating at a frightening pace now, soon it would be open war and he would need to be as far from these people as he could possibly manage. And to think this darkness and luring power once held comfort in his mind .
"Severeus Snape, what are you doing lurking around here at this time? Aren't you supposed to be off trying to be an ineffectual double agent for the Dark Lord?" ahh, that eloquent southern drawl of a proper English Wizarding Aristocrat.
He turned, brows raised ever so slightly, his face completely blank of all emotion, in the bowels of this hell, emotion could kill you, "Lucius Malfoy, aren't you supposed to be off bribing someone to cover up your blunders?"
There was a wolfish grin from the other man, teeth shining with white perfection. Was there anything about this man that wasn't perfect? Other than his soul, Snape supposed. If he had been accused of having a soul of ice, Lucius had one made of the most polluted filth muggles could drain out of London. It was a source of small victory that Draco was out of this man's grasp for good now, "You're looking a little green, Severeus... spending too much time in that hole you call a class room again? No, I am here to show you something, actually. The Dark Lord wants you to aide in this, you're good at getting into Albus' trusts, so you must help ascertain a situation stays the way it is. One of your potions for weakening mind defenses might do."
"Do not presume you know enough about me to tell me how to do my job. Show me what you must show me, and be done with it" He said impatiently, returning the other man's dark glare.
Why hadn't he stalled walking into the room he was about to walk into? Or had some sort of premonition and not even followed Lucius at all. It was for reasons like this that he was where he was, but also the reason he felt so helpless in some cases.
"I'm not a Pyschotraumatologist Draco. I can try to help you… but I can't guarantee that just because my parents are Muggles, that she'll respond to me at all"
He was lost at that first word, blinking at the brown haired woman in front of him as she watched him from over the book she was reading, "A psycho-what'sit?"
She sighed, getting her
'lecture' expression on, offering him a gentle smile, "It's a
muggle term for a type of psychologist" again he had a confused
expression, so she inclined her head, "a mind healer of sorts. The
one I mentioned, they deal with people who have gone through intense
and strenuous abuse or torture. They try to work out a person's
problems."
"You think she needs a Muggle doctor then?"
"Merlin's Beard! No… that would be the stupidest thing you could do, in my opinion." She put the book down on her lap, frowning deeply, "If he managed to get to the bottom of it, he wouldn't be able to deal with whatever magical demons are in her mind. It could damage her and perhaps him."
Draco's eye brow's raised curiously at this, crossing his arms over his chest and giving her a very non-plussed look. She wasn't really being very helpful, the smartest woman he could think of, and she was rambling off random terms and negative answers. She was far too practical for any sort of natural human, "So you're telling me you think I'm wasting my time"
"No... You're hearing that from my words. I'm just pointing out my limitations. Have you tried talking to her?"
"Yes, she doesn't really say much of anything. Today all she did was talk about how soft the carpet was, after spending an hour and a half apologizing for trying to kill me. She isn't opening up to me"
She
snorted, her expression seeming to tell him that she thought him a
thick headed louse, "Its not going to happen over night, Draco.
You have not patience at all. You've got to talk to her, guide her
towards the questions, and not quit at every little hitch"
He
glared hard at her, eyes flashing dangerously, "It's harder than
you think it is, Grainger"
"Awww, poor rich kid Draco has met something he can't just master with a charming grin and a flash of force. The world must hate him, making him actually have to work for something" She spat out, slamming her book closed and standing, "Fine, Draco. Give up. Give up and assume that it's not worth your time. Don't look at me to give you any sure fire tips. She's depending on you, whether she knows it or not. And this war would be long over if every horrible thing that they have done to us and our loved ones was easily turned aside and defeated. I've seen Neville's parents, Draco. Count yourself lucky and work with what you've got!"
All
he could do is glare sullenly at her, arms still crossed over his
chest, body and posture tense as she walked past him, tossing her
long curly hair angrily. His mouth was open, but no words were coming
out.
He flinched as the door slammed shut behind him. Why were
people continuously telling him the same thing concerning Rowan? They
always seemed to presume he had never had to work hard for something
before. That he was giving up when the going got tough. He wasn't
giving up…. he was just out of his element. He didn't know what
to do, didn't know how to ask for help, and didn't know if
anything could help. He hated being helpless, and that's just what
he was like with her. Out on a limb, unsteady, unsure. He didn't
like this feeling, he didn't like watching someone he was finding
himself completely and utterly in love with so broken. Perhaps they
were right. He had worked hard at things, Quidditch, School,
impressing his father. But this was different. This was a complete
and utterly different pitch he was playing on, and so he was feeling
deep and incomprehensible defeatism. Did he have the strength for the
both of them?
She had the strength to survive thus far, it was the least he could do.;
Rowan lay atop of the covers of her bed, arms spread out to each side of her, fingers not reaching the edge of the bed on either side. She had dreamed last night, dreams… it felt good to dream again, to be able to see things, if only in her mind and from her memories. She woke up sweating and scared, still able to conjure up the images… two men in a room, watching her, but not seeing her. Seeing something else. She recognized one of them… tall, stately, impeccably groomed and cold, Draco's father was a hard man to forget, a hard man to remember… she was in a cold sweat just thinking about him now, fighting hard to keep herself where she was. It was hard, even when remembering his face, to hold onto reality. She wanted so badly to run and hide in the back of her mind. Control though, she must find control. Rowan didn't know who she was, but she was trying so incredibly hard to stay here so she could find out. The other man, she could think about the other man, he seemed to be the opposite of his companion in so many ways. Shorter but not by much, unkempt almost greasy looking black hair, a sickly looking complexion as if he did not venture into the sun very often, a bitter expression on his face. Yes, bitter… not the pure look of enjoyment that Draco's father had. Who was he, and why did he make her feel so sad to look at?
"Rowan, are you awake?" This was a different voice, one she hadn't heard before this. A soft female voice that was preceded by the opening of a door.
She sat up and nodded but being as blind to the world around her as she was, it felt odd to do that, so she spoke, "I am…. who are you?"
The rustle of cloth, the sound of feet on the soft carpet and finally the door closing before the woman spoke, "I am Hermione Grainger, I am… a colleague of Draco's"
"A colleague?" She had to fight the panic that was shivering up and down her spine from the moment the door closed, had to concentrate on the words, the sounds, and the place of being here, even though all it really was, was a with a stranger in a dark place, "You work with Draco? What do you do?"
"What do I do? Well, I am what they call an Auror, along with Draco, Harry, Ron and many other's, we try to prevent bad Wizards from hurting innocent people, and Muggles" the voice stopped a safe distant from her, as did the movement. Suddenly there was the sliding of cloth, as if the other woman had sat upon the ground.
Rowan nodded slowly, turning to face her and gingerly toying her hands over the blankets, "sort of like a cop, then"
The other woman laughed softly, "yeah, something like a cop of the wizarding world, only, we seem to be fighting a war at the moment"
"All police fight wars on their own specific turfs and areas of jurisdiction: War on Drugs, War on Crime, and War for protection of innocent Muggles. Why do you call us muggles?"
"You know… I don't really know why we call you muggles. We're all humans. My parents are Muggles"
Rowan paused for a moment, head tilting to the side curiously. This was such a normal conversation, it felt right. Just talking like this, speaking with the other girl, it felt so good just to talk, talk like who she was, " You grew up with muggles?"
Another soft laugh and the sound of hands rubbing against carpet, "It's hard to explain. I was born to two muggle parents, with the Wizarding gift. Sometimes that happens, but up until I was eleven, I didn't know all this existed, then I got a letter, and it was all explained to me. My parents are both dentists."
"England has dentists?"
"Yes… England has dentists, thank you very much. I do not understand the North American obsession with the fact that British and other European people have bad teeth"
Rowan smiled, baring her perfectly straight pearly whites, raising a finger to point at them, "How many British people do you remember with teeth like this?"
Hermione laughed and shook her head, "I grew up in a dentist's office. Far more than you give us credit for!"
"I'll leave you alone about it then" Rowan laughed softly, ducking her head and moving to toy gently with her hair. She was silent for a long moment, just listening to the other breath and run her fingers through the carpet, the scratching sound of flesh on plush ringing in her ears for a while before she spoke, "Can I ask you something? You mentioned Harry… he was the one in the room with me and Draco, when I was first here, wasn't he?"
Her voice was so small, even scared. Visibly the other woman had seemed to hunch over and shrink into herself, her features going pale and drawn. Hermione couldn't help herself; she stood up and moved to sit beside Rowan, moving to wrap her arms around her gently. At first, the woman had tensed up, breath catching between bared teeth; but then there was a sob, and Rowan just accepted her embrace as Hermione spoke, "Yes, he had been in the room. He's been a friend of mine since I was eleven."
"He was the one they were chasing in Florence, wasn't he?"
"Yes. He and Ronald had been patrolling the city together, when they both had been separated. Three Death Eaters zeroed in on Harry and chased him to the square where you were, you gave him enough time to open a portal to an Auror stronghold, but before he could get you, the other's dragged him to safety. By the time they reopened the portal and got back, you were already gone"
The other woman had started shaking a bit, shivering ever so slightly and rocking back and forth with Hermione's story. She stayed silent for a very long time after that, they both were, each one waiting for the other to speak. It was the blindfolded one that finally made a noise, "Why did they want him?"
"Well, it all started eighteen years ago, when Harry was only a baby…"
"I thought you weren't going to help me," Draco said in a whisper as Hermione slipped out of the door, shutting it silently behind her and leaning against it to watch him from across the hall.
"Oh, I didn't do it for you. I did it for her, because I owe her for saving my friend's life" she said stiffly as her arms crossed over her chest. She stood there, glaring at him like a guardian of the occupant in the room behind her, an impassable guardian.
He sighed softly and tilted his head to the side, offering a shrug, "Of course, that makes perfect sense. Look, Hermione… I thought of what you said-"
"Forget
it Draco. I know you weren't going to give up on her, and I know
you were just trying your best. I lost my temper."
"How is
she?"
Hermione
offered him a soft smile and tilted her head, waving her hand in a
gesture to get him to walk beside her as she turned down the hall. He
did, watching her curiously as she spoke, "She's sleeping now.
She's really scared, but I'm sure you already knew that. At
first, when I was talking to her, we were just talking as if nothing
was wrong. She was there, and she was laughing and looked unburdened.
But the subject got onto what had happened in Florence, and she
seemed to withdraw"
Draco took a sharp breath, faltering in his
steps as she said this. She caught his arm before he could turn back
towards the room, "You pushed her back into herself? Why?"
"Listen
to what I am saying first, Draco. Please?" Hermione squeezed his
arm, before letting it go and glancing back to the hallway in front
of them, "She didn't withdraw like that. I'm sure she wanted
to, but she didn't. She just seemed to get smaller, more
vulnerable. I told her what happened with Harry. And then she asked
me why they wanted Harry. So I told her, I explained the whole thing
to her, because I couldn't think of anything else. She seemed as a
child, Draco… but when I was done, she merely smiled and fell
asleep."
"She's okay?"
Hermione nodded slowly, before shrugging, "She was breathing normally, and she looked peaceful, not blank, and not catatonic. Just like a normal dreamer. So I tucked her in again and decided to take my leave."
"Thank you Hermione." Draco grinned to her as he stopped, pulling her around to face him. He was so beautiful when he smiled, she thought dreamily as he moved to kiss both her cheeks, "Thank you, so much. For helping out on this, not matter what you say your motives are."
"Albus, I can not do this any more. I have to pull out, there is no other way."
"Severeus,
your work is detrimental to our cause. Even now you brought us
substantial information that will help us considerably. You can't
pull out"
"They want me to hurt her, Albus. If I don't,
then they will know I am a fraud and it will all be for naught. Some
may say I'm a coward, but I can not do you any good dead."
"We don't want to risk your safety, Severeus, you know that. There is no other way?"
"No, Albus… I know this is a test of my loyalty, and when I don't do anything, or report back, they will know me as a traitor and my life will be pain after this."
"There is no way to
fake an effect, at all?"
"It's her mind, Albus! No, there
is no faking any of it. They want complete control, even if I could
do it temporarily, you know better than I that if they gain that foot
hold once, that is all they really need. She would never recover from
that."
"So
you think you can help her?"
"As long as Lucius wasn't
lying to me as to what they did with her, he found a way to keep the
mind relatively intact during the Cruacious curse. She won't be the
same as before, but she has valid reasons for her behavior. I believe
that with work, we may be able to remove them from her mind"
"Then take a long way about getting back here and you can tell Draco the good news"
"Brilliant"
His face was getting rough again; scratchy and all stubbly with a day and night's worth of growth. Luckily it wasn't easily seen, with his hair being as light blonde as it was. Draco snorted and pulled out his shaving blade, marveling over the idiosyncrasies of morning ponderings.
He lathered up the soft foam and spread it evenly on his face, before raising the blade and making carefully smooth strokes to remove the hair. Oh sure, there were wizarding ways to do this, his father had taught him and he had learned several others from the kids at school while growing up, but he had tried this not long after meeting Rowan and he hadn't ever gone back. His mind seemed to loose its tension in the mundane and normal process, allowing him time to sort his thoughts out before continuing with the day. The sun was spilling in through the windows and warming his feet and lower legs.
"You're still doing it that way, Draco?" the voice was dark, callous and brooding to someone who didn't know its owner.
It took the blonde a great deal of control to not cut himself on the last stroke when he was surprised by the sudden emergence of a new voice. Glancing in the mirror behind him he smiled before rinsing his face off, "of course, it's a lot more effective than anything the wizarding world could come up with"
"I taught you potions that would sear the hair off of a kiwi without damaging the fruit, and you prefer putting a dangerously sharp blade close to your throat?" his old potions master snorted, watching from the door way, "you've no common sense."
"And you still haven't been getting enough sun, Severeus." he laughed and turned around, drying his hands on a towel, head tilting to the side, "You're back?"
The older man nodded, his greasy black hair shifting into his eyes a bit, "Yes, for good this time, I'm afraid."
Draco gave a genuine smile, tossing the towel on the sink and moving to hug his old Professor, "you're afraid? That's good news, Its been a long time since I've seen you."
"A lot has happened in that time, much more than should happen."
"Yes…" Malfoy
froze, pulling back from the other man to give him a troubled
expression, "you've heard? Did… where you there… when.. she
was?"
"No, boy… I wasn't there. I was on another
mission. Your father was in charge of her."
"My father" the voice got weak, its owner paled a bit, his beautiful eyes closing to mask the pain showing in them, "did he know?"
"That she knew you? Yes, she told him apparently. He's designed her for two uses now."
Draco moved past Snape, walking back into his room and reaching for a shirt to pull on over his head, "two uses. What do you mean?" his voice was clipped, boiling over with a brooding fury that flashed in his eyes when he looked at the other man.
Severeus
frowned softly, shaking his head, " One of them was to kill you
with the very person you loved. He wants you to suffer, Draco. He
hates you so deeply for your betrayal."
"I know that. I've
been aware of that, even before I made my decision, my father had
plans for me," Draco remarked softly, letting out a slow breath and
prompting his mentor further, "The second?"
"To gain them knowledge of the stronghold we're in. When she opens her eyes, they see everything and everyone that is around her. They're in her mind… I've been there, your father showed it to me, they can't control her fully, she's fighting them more than they had anticipated."
"So she's not actually…she's got reasons?"
Severeus Snape, in his long tenure as this boy's god-father and guardian, had never seen Draco cry in relief. He had seen angry and sad tears coming from those cold eyes, but not the sheer heart breaking sensation of a damn overflowing with emotion, he was speechless as he watched it, before reaching over to squeeze Malfoy's shoulder , "She's… never going to be quite the same, but… her mind was kept amazingly intact. I'm here to bring her back to you, boy"
Rowan lay there in the dark room, dark because nothing had light or colours anymore, hands buried into the plush carpet, mouth partway open in a blank and mindless smile. The ground hitched a bit beneath her – not really, but according to her mind it did. it was so hard to tell now- as the door opened and Draco's voice sounded gaily through the silence, "Rowan, love… I've got wonderful news"
She laughed lowly at that, the sound resonating from her throat as she turned her head towards him, "not as wonderful as you might think…"
