Chapter Seventeen
Lucas made himself easy to hate by being horrible, like he'd been lately. It was harder when he came over and easily and sweetly conversed with me about all our friends and our lives in the present and future.
How could anyone chose Lucas over Jake? Jake was less desirable, being a father to a two year old, but his daughter gave him maturity and made him able to care for anyone. He'd never hurt anyone if he could help it. Luke put up an act of being a good guy, an act that girls like Brooke and I always fell for. But he'd cheated on Brooke with me and almost cheated on me with Nikki. And then several months later he'd broken up with his girlfriend in light of growing feelings for Brooke, who he'd claimed to not like particularly in the first place. And he'd been shocked when she'd not fallen into his waiting arms.
Haley had once said so accurately that you couldn't chose who you fell for. She'd fallen for Nathan. Back before him she'd been in straight A student, the best tutor in the school, held down an afternoon job and was a straightedge to boot. In walks Nathan with his clean cut good looks and six feet of muscle and suddenly her clothes bear more of her. Her originality shrivels and she runs away to New York to pursue a music career with another guy crazy about her. Did falling for Nathan really give Haley the best deal in life?
Nathan was at the opposite end of the scale. He had his clean cut good looks and his six feet of muscle. He also had a position on the school's basketball team and was hailed as it's hero. He also had a beautiful cheerleader girlfriend (me) and wealthy parents who owned two mansions. When Haley came along he'd moved out of his parent's, quit and rejoined the team, dried up some of his talent pining for her and giving up his spare time to work at an auto shop so they could get by.
And yet they managed to love each other passionately.
My mind screamed Jake while my heart longed for Lucas. The angel on my shoulder sided for my husband, the devil for my ex-boyfriend.
"Why do you like me?" I asked later that evening, after Jenny had gone to bed.
"Love you?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Because you're so different. And you surprise me-everyday I think I understand you but I never do. You're made of layers that fascinate me. And you have all the other stuff-you're funny intelligent and beautiful. And because you saw me, a high school dropout with a daughter but didn't immediately turn away in scorn," he said.
"Of course I'm not scornful-I think it's incredible how you raise Jenny, how you love her so much, how you gave up so much of your life to be with her. And how you put your life into keeping her away from Nikki," I said.
"How could someone not? She's so perfect. And how could anyone look at her, something that's a part of you and turn away from it? For a long time she was the best thing I had," he said.
"And now?" I asked him. He looked up and smiled.
"I'm going to have to say it's a tie," he said. I smiled at him but quickly looked away-I was the best thing in his life according to him, and I was kissing someone else more than I was kissing him.
Haley burst in a minute later, sweeping the moment away with her.
"We're having a girl's night," she announced, dropping down into a kitchen chair.
"Haley! I'm kind of in the middle of something!" I protested. She looked between us shrewdly.
"Yeah, well, Brooke's kind of having a nervous breakdown. Come on," she ordered. Sighing I stood up.
"I'll be back by midnight," I promised him. She laughed.
"Jake, count on three. Come on," she said, pulling me out the front door.
Brooke wasn't having a nervous breakdown but was rather slightly anxious about us all living far apart from each other so soon. And we solved it her way-by heading to the bar, getting toasted and spending hours doing things we'd regret the next morning.
I awoke to a stiff headache and an acid taste in my mouth, warning me that I was about to lose my stomach. I hurtled down the hall to my bathroom, just reaching it as I did so spectacularly.
I could hear Jake and Jenny downstairs as I walked stiffly back to the room. Hesitantly I picked up the phone and dialed the James-Scott house.
"Hello?" she said cheerily, picking up. How like Haley to wake up daisy fresh when I woke up hung over.
"Why don't I remember last night?" I demanded.
"Well you had a few too many," she said slowly.
"We were in a bar. I probably had many too many," I said.
"Yeah. So did Brooke, but you were the only one that went home with… wait, you seriously don't remember anything?" she asked guiltily.
"Not a thing," I said.
"Okay. Um go to the mirror and turn around," she instructed.
"Why?" I asked reprehensively.
"Just do it," she said. Slowly I walked to the mirror and turned ninety degrees. In a flash my eyes hit the bare skin left by my low pants and small top.
"You let me get a tattoo!" I accused her.
"No, actually there was no stopping you once you had the idea in your head," she said, stifling a giggle.
"Right. It's exactly like yours," I said angrily. It wasn't really-though the placing was similar my tattoo was slightly more elaborate than the jersey number on her lower back. A small, dramatic sun waved it's rays in all direction with a diameter of about an inch and a half. Two blue number stood out in the centre of the sun in elegant lettering-21. Jake's jersey number. I threw the phone on the bed and ran down to Jake.
"That's nice," he said, running a finger over it as I confessed my late night doings.
"They shouldn't allow drunken teenage girls to get tattoos," I said. It was lucky I hadn't gone completely insane and requested three, Lucas's number.
"I'm glad they do," he said. Leaning up I pecked his cheek and settled down with a bowl of cereal.
Author's note: Just out of curiosity-do you want her with Lucas or Jake? Who do you think she will end up with? If you feel so inclined, email or reviews with responses. I'm just trying to figure out if the ending will shock anyone.
