The Secrets We Keep
Author: LVB
Summary: Back briefly in Coruscant during the Clone Wars, Anakin notices his wife is acting strangely. What is Padmè hiding?
Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to GL and LucasFilm Ltd. All rights reserved.
A/N: A couple of things today:
Picky: Sorry, I didn't have your email. There was absolutely no offense taken! I got what you mean, and I'm not the kind of person to take offense about that. All is good, and thank you for reviewing again!
Padawan Sydney Bristow: You're review put a big smile on my face! I can't believe you asked your mother that, I would have died from embarassment! In response to that, yeah I know they do (I've read too many fanfics to not know :P) but I figure Padmèwouldn't be ready and might not even know that. Thanks for pointing it out though!
Sorry for the ultra-long A/N. Hayden was on Rove Live this week (a talk show in Australia) and was the cutest thing I've ever seen - looking all gorgeous like and speaking so...charmingly. He participated in the charades game and was a blast! I also found the word Sith in one of my Shakespeare plays. Weird much. So because I'm happy, I'm posting :) Enjoy! This is a joining chapter.
Ch 8: Terrible Decisions
Padmè had felt terrible about before. She had left the room, not wanting to confront her husband and made some poor excuse about needing to take a bath. Anakin had understood and had left her. He had gone back to the Jedi temple.
Now, Padmè sat in the middle of her refresher. The floor was cold and hard. Her nightgown gathered around her ankles. In her hand she had the results the doctor had given her. She had in her hands the proof that the child of Padmè and Anakin Skywalker actually existed. How precious this was – and how surprising too. By all accounts this child was not allowed to exist; bound by its parent's commitments. Yet, there it was. It was a child created out of love and not obligation.
The child she carried was truly a miracle.
Then why is it so wrong to want it?
Padmè felt the first tears well up in her eyes. It was in this moment, sitting alone on the floor, she allowed herself to cry.
She couldn't selfishly keep this child, could she? Her hands stroked her flat stomach. Soon, there would be a large bump. She already loved this life that was in her. But she knew she couldn't – it could ruin everything.
The main problem she faced was Anakin.
Anakin Skywalker – The Chosen One. Jedi Knight.
There wasn't anything about Anakin being a father there. Being a husband was bad enough. He wouldn't want this child. She knew how much he wanted to become a great Jedi. This child – this permanent responsibility would rob him of that.
It would get him expelled from the Jedi Order. It was one thing to hide a relationship but to hide a child?
Not only that, he would resent her for it. He would resent her for forcing him to make such a decision. No, she couldn't do it.
Anakin would not know about the child. Ever.
Her heart grew heavy with the realisation of what she had to do. She couldn't hide her pregnancy from him much longer. And she certainly wouldn't be able to carry the baby to full term and give it up for adoption.
It would have to be destroyed.
She immediately began to break out into hysterical sobs. It. Her child. Her baby. Picking up the file, she frantically began to look through the statistical information. It. Her baby had a gender – it was alive. After a few seconds of reading, she admitted defeat.
In a way, she was glad it had been too early to tell the gender. Just that little fact could nearly keep her from remembering that whatever was inside of her wasn't alive yet. It was still so small and insignificant. It could easily be destroyed.
Her sobs began to soften a little. She knew what she had to do now. Picking up her commlink, she connected to the number shown on her file.
There. It was done.
She sighed and stashed the file away in its hiding spot. Anakin rarely went through her stuff in the refresher. 'Too girly", he had said.
She stood up and made her way to her bed. She began to softly cry herself to sleep.
