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Ch. 1 Sadness' got no place, when sadness comes from living

'This has to be the worse summer ever' thought Harry as he clutched his left wrist to his chest 'Great, just what I needed a broken wrist', sure he had been beaten before by the Dursleys, but it had never been this bad, they even sent him back to the cupboard under the stairs. He was hungry, tired, and cold. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since he had had the 'honour' of eating something; he had a really nasty gash across his chest which would reopen every time he moved his arms too quickly or whenever he applied strength, and he was sure he had a couple of broken bones. He saw no way out, his uncle Vernon read every letter he wrote to the Order, making sure he didn't mention anything about the new 'treatment' he was receiving.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud yell, to which he was used to by now "Boy! I want my breakfast now!" Harry hurried, or at least tried to, out of the cupboard and into the kitchen, he knew better than making his uncle mad. He stayed in the kitchen through out the whole meal hoping to get a little something to eat, but with no such luck. Before heading out for work, Vernon gave Harry a long list of chores to complete before he came home from work.

'This is impossible! How in the world does he expect me to be able to do all this?' Harry thought as he watched the Dursleys exit the kitchen, Vernon was the last to exit, but just before he had crossed the door's threshold he turned around and went back to where Harry was standing, causing him to take a couple of steps backwards.

"By the way boy, Petunia and Dudley are going to have a nice day out, so there will be no one here to check over you, you've better not touch a thing or you'll regret the day you were born" these words left Vernon Dursley's mouth with venom sending shivers up to Harry's spine.

'As if I didn't regret that day already' Harry thought miserably, as he nodded never looking his uncle in the eye, remembering what had happened on his birthday.

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(Flashback)

Harry Potter was miserable, he was locked in the cupboard, hungry, and tired, but along with this misery came happiness, true happiness. Today he had turned 16, he didn't like birthdays a lot, but he sure liked his, for it meant that in just one more year he'd be of age and he wouldn't have to return to the Dursleys ever.

He knew he wasn't going to get any presents, because Dumbledore had forbidden him of receiving letters from anyone in Grimmauld Place or the Burrow for that matter, he had been really angry at first, then he realized he was being childish, and he hated it, because he knew that was what caused Sirius death, this childishness; he could get his presents when he saw his friends on September 1st.

This happiness didn't last much, for he was disturbed by the worse kind of family someone could ever have. His uncle Vernon opened the small cupboard door and hauled Harry by his oversized t-shirt pushing him into the kitchen. "Start breakfast now you lazy boy!" said Vernon several decibels too loud "We let you live under our roof, we provide you with food and clothes and yet this is how you thank us! You filthy freak we should have let you out there that night or given you up for adoption, but we are too much of a nice family to do that; you must do something to repay us, yet you..." Vernon couldn't finish his ranting because he was interrupted by Harry "Repay you?" he asked heatedly looking at his uncle's podgy face for the first time since the beatings had started "You treat me worse than what you would treat an animal! I have nothing to repay you, I hate you, you stupid muggle". Vernon Dursley looked awe struck for about...two seconds; those words did it "What did you call me you little freak? And how dare you look at me in the eye!" a fist connected with Harry's stomach leaving him breathless and in pain; he was clutching his stomach tightly and supporting himself with a table, and it was then when his uncle Vernon grabbed a very sharp knife they kept in the kitchen, yanked Harry by his hair making him stand up straight and cut him across the chest, the cut wasn't to deep, but it was enough to cause a wound that would not stop hurting anytime soon.

That beating didn't last very long because Dudley wanted to have breakfast, so Vernon tossed Harry inside the cupboard –again- and locked Harry in. He didn't remember much of what had happened after that, he lost track of days; all he could think of was hunger and pain.

(End Flashback)

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He was alone now, still standing in the kitchen, thinking about the best course of action, he wanted to get as much chores done as possible, so that, maybe, he wouldn't get beaten as much; he finally decided to first get all the chores which involved being inside the house first and then he would do the ones outside.

It was a quarter to six, Harry knew he didn't have much time left, his aunt Petunia and his cousin Dudley would be back any minute now as well as his uncle Vernon, and he hadn't even been able to finish half of what was written on the list, it was really hard to clean, carry, and move things with a broken wrist, a well painful and ugly gash, Merlin-knows-what-else, and pain all over his body.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear a car pulling up and a door opening and closing; he was suddenly standing and facing a very angry, purple-faced uncle Vernon.

"I thought I told you I wanted all the chores written down on that list done by the time I got back" Vernon said stressing the word all and spiting a bit on the process.

"I..." "Shut up boy! You are only to speak if I tell you to!" yelled Vernon as he grabbed Harry roughly by the arm and dragged him up to Dudley's second bedroom, which had now turned into some kind of torture room, where Vernon and Dudley would have their 'fun' with him; Harry was tossed as if he were some kind of trash into the bedroom as Vernon started locking the door.

Harry cowered back into a corner, behind his spectacles two big horrified eyes could be seen 'Why am I acting like this? I should be used to it by now, besides I clearly deserve it, it's my bloody fault Sirius is dead, if it hadn't been for me, then he'd still be alive, and I'd be with him' Harry thought getting angry at himself 'I can't even face a muggle, some courage I have'.

A hard kick on his side brought him back to reality, and after that kick, another followed, and another, and another, each one getting more painful than the last, and each one breaking one more bone or creating one more bruise, he got into a foetal position covering his face and chest in the process, he didn't think he could take another blow to his already wounded chest; suddenly it all stopped and Harry was glad, until he felt a cold metal colliding hardly with his back, a belt, it kept coming over and over again, and just when he was about to lose consciousness Vernon grabbed his hair and pulled him up to the bed.

"Now boy, you stay still while I get what I want, I won't hurt you as much if you cooperate".

Harry didn't seem to understand what his uncle meant at first, but when he felt him trying to remove his trousers he started to panic, and tried kicking the man several times unsuccessfully. He was going to rape him! The last bit of innocence was about to be taken away by his uncle; he simply couldn't allow that, it was too much. 'I have to stop him, I can't have him do this to me' Harry thought as his breathing quickened it's pace, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't make his uncle budge, the lack of food and the beatings had weakened him, and his uncle wasn't exactly light. It was then when the inevitable happened, Harry felt hot pain from behind when his uncle's cock penetrated him hard, he screamed and tried once again to resist to the intrusion, but no avail, it only made it a lot more painful.

"Stop moving boy! I know you like it you little whore, I bet you let everyone at that freakish school of yours do this to you, don't they?"

Vernon spanked, pinched and bit his nephew as hard as he could while he performed his vicious act, he wanted to make him feel pain, he wanted to show him just how insignificant and stupid he really was. Harry tried hard not to cry but the pain and humiliation was too much for him, he was glad he wasn't wearing his glasses, at least that way he didn't have to actually see what was happening; his uncle kept thrusting hard and the sounds of "pleasure" coming out of his mouth were making him sick, he wanted to loose consciousness, but it just didn't happen he stayed awake and in pain until his uncle was done with him.

Just when Harry had thought it had all ended, uncle Vernon started hitting him again.

"You worthless beast! See what you've made me do, I've gotten filth all over me, I hate you, and everybody hates you. Freak! And you are also a murderer!"

Harry was sobbing painfully, those words had stung; he knew he was worthless, but he needn't have someone telling him over and over. 'I'm worthless, I am worthless and I can't die just yet because I'm the bloody saviour of the wizarding world!' This was his last thought as blackness embraced him.

As the days went by things got worse, Harry got beat and raped more frequently, not only by Vernon, but also by Dudley, the only thing he was grateful for was the fact that he didn't have to do chores, since Vernon and Petunia didn't want their things to get dirty with "freak blood"; they still forced Harry to write letters to the Order saying everything was fine and that he was happy; he wanted to go back to Hogwarts, where he felt safe, but he wasn't sure how much time he would have to wait.

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"Get your filthy arse out of that cupboard now!" yelled Vernon as he opened the cupboard door, "You are leaving today, and we hope we don't have to see you again, so you've better do something so that you don't have to come back next summer"

Harry was dragged upstairs and into the shower, the Dursley's wanted to keep up appearances; they also allowed him to have some leftovers breakfast.

Harry's trunk was packed, he hadn't taken anything out of it, not even his books to study or to make summer homework, he hadn't gone to Diagon Alley to get any of his new books because Dumbledore had had them bought for him; Hedwig's cage on the other hand was empty since he had sent her away to Hogwarts after she had delivered his last letter for the summer, so it made carrying a little bit easier. He had a hard time getting his things in the car but he somehow managed, and just before he got into the car Vernon Dursley warned Harry.

"You freak better do something to hide anything that might give away what happened here, if you don't I'll make sure I kill you, understood?" Harry gulped and then nodded once.

"Now get in the car, the sooner we get over with this the better."

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Well this was chapter 1. What do you think? R/R please. You'll see Harry with Snape soon. I promise.

Thanks for reading!