Monica wrapped herself in her plush robe. Her hair was wrapped in a towel and she was comfortable now. She picked up the typed pages and began to read.

"Marsha had blossomed , she was no longer an overweight teen. She was a young woman just busting with desire. She saw Chester with his rock star looks saunter into the room. His mouth dropped seeing her in the tight dress. She giggled to her friend Raquel, I'll fix him. Next she grabbed the knife from the door and started for him." Monica read the manuscript and then paged a few more ahead.

He was a hot young actor standing in her kitchen . Johnny stood proudly as his member was throbbing. "Have me , cried Marsha."as she tore his jeans off the Italian stud. Monica closed the book and exclaimed "Oh my God!" "It so did not happen like that."

Chandler sat on the couch as he read, "No no no." he screamed.

Monica ran over to the couch and put her arms around Chandler. "Did you see some of the stuff that was in this book.? It says I basically attacked Joey, and that is not what happened at all."

"No I was too busy reading about the love affair between Johnny and Chester, keeping them at bay while Johnny is the womanizer and Chester hides behind a heterosexual relationship ." Chandler scorned.

"You mean us?" Monica said worried.

"No I mean me and Janice. Although , I must admit I am not amused at the scene between Robert and Marsha at her father's birthday party." Chandler said as he pointed out the passage. "In the bathroom., really Mon." he said shamefully.

"I was the only one in that bathroom, the only people getting it on in there were my parents ewww." she said as she made a face. A thought came to Monica's head. "Are all our old relationships in this book?"

Chandler put the book on the coffee table. "I wonder if it is possible to sue your own mother for libel."

Meanwhile Rachel sat in bed while Ross tucked in their child. She had a smile on her face as she started to read the book. Always a fan of erotic fiction, she knew this book would be good. She turned the page in anticipation of what was next. A paragraph struck her when she started to read it out loud…

"Ronald took Saffron in his arms. His heart was breaking because he knew that Raquel was with Matt. She had told him that she wanted a break, he couldn't face life without her , so he pressed his lips against Saffron's and then he began to fondle her breasts..then tearing her blouse apart he moved his mouth down past her belly button ring to her……" Rachel slammed the book shut. "ROSS!" she screamed.

"I just got Emma to sleep , so please,. She was so cute . She wanted me to read her the story about the sad little brontosaurus again. I tell you that child is going to grow up to be just like daddy." Ross said sweetly.

"God I hope not," yelled Rachel "Look at this. " she said holding the book up and pointing to the passage. "These people Ronald and Raquel , they're us.. Time and time again , Edith, Melissa, Candice, these are pseudonyms for your exes. Charlotte and Sharon are Carol and Susan…even my rotten sister …Jill and what you do to her is disgusting." Rachel said as she picked up the book.

Ross read aloud. "Janie, I wonder if you are as good as you sister. She was the best lay I ever had. Oh trust me Ronald, after you have had me you'll never go back to Raquel. He started nibbling at her neck and then he tore her lace panties from her body. " he put the book away from his face. "Rach, I did not do this with your sister. She was so mean she broke my projector." he whined.

He paged through the manuscript. "Edith? Who in the hell is Edith?"

"Don't you recognize your dear second wife? Edith is that British bitch Emily. Edith from Brighton who stole Ronald from Raquel. Then they get into a catfight when Raquel disrupts her wedding to Ronald.This is our life ." Rachel exclaimed.

"Edith is such an ugly name though." Ross said as he made a face.

"I think it's perfect then." smiled Rachel."She was an ugly bitch."

"Rachel that was a thousand years ago. You have got to learn to forgive and forget . We all make mistakes and …" Ross quickly turned back to another passage.. "Paco, you did what with Paco?" he screamed.

"Oh yeah Paolo." she said as she looked at him funny "Forgive and forget right?" Rachel said sarcastically.

"I hated that guy. I knew he was no good for you and I hated the way he treated you. He grabbed Phoebe's ass." Ross said angrily.

"And you cheated on me. You also dated a girl while I was pregnant and went on a date with a slut from a baby store." Rachel said maliciously. "Honestly you would go out with a gorilla if she called you Indiana Jones."

"Whatever happened to not going to bed angry?" Ross said calmly.

"Oh no professor , you are not sleeping in here tonight. You are sleeping on the couch and I'd get comfy because you may be there for a while." Rachel said as she grabbed his pillow and a blanket and shoving it in his arms. "Good night Ross." she said as she turned off the light and rolled over.

"Rachel, Rach, oh sweetie." Ross said as he made one more attempt to get back in the bed.

"Ross, get out of my room." said Rachel.

"Damnit!" swore Ross . "It was my room first." he said defeated as he slinked out of their bedroom.