He struggled to keep his eyes open and his voice even.
Only a few more minutes and then he'd be able to collapse into a heap on the floor of his room. Just a little longer.
With a start he realized that he was still speaking. It scared him sometimes, how automatic and robotic he had become. All on their own his lips had formed the words they were all expecting to hear. Without having to think about it he had issued the orders that would lock down the tower for the night and hopefully keep his team safe until morning. They were all looking at him and nodding in acknowledgement.
Another brief statement about the training schedule and it was over.
They were all going their separate ways. Beast Boy and Cy were heading for the couch to play a few games before going to bed while Star flew to the kitchen to make herself what could only loosely be labeled as food.
Only Raven remained, watching him from the depths of her hood.
Her hood had always annoyed him. It hid her from the world and made it difficult to judge her emotions. Not that seeing her face made that particular task any easier.
He knew she was suspicious but there was no way she could have seen the blood. He had been careful to keep his cape pulled tight over his shoulders, there was no way she could have seen the jagged laceration. At best she had only an unverified suspicion and with luck he could make it past her without giving himself away.
Time to play the part of proud but aloof leader.
He gave her a small smile before turning to make his exit.
He felt her eyes following him as he made his way to the door. 'Walk naturally' he told himself. Each step pulled at the cut in his side. He grit his teeth as the pain threatened to rip a scream from his lips. He was almost there, a few more feet and he would free of her prying eyes.
Something in his side ripped open and the sudden agony caused him to miss a step. Closing his eyes and hissing slightly he was forced to stop.
Slowly his breath returned and he was able to take a quick look over his shoulder. The others hadn't noticed. They were engrossed in their various tasks and hadn't notice his small slip. He knew without looking that she had seen it though. No matter how good his acting she always saw through it. He sighed and resigned himself to his fate.
A cool hand on his elbow guided him the rest of the way to the door. He was vaguely annoyed at the gratitude he felt welling up in his chest.
Neither spoke even after they had left the others far behind. In the darkened hallway she paused briefly to adjust her hold on him. Although it hurt his pride he allowed himself to lean on the slender shoulder she offered.
Together they made their way to her room. It was a compromise they had made long ago. He refused to go to the hospital wing and she wouldn't allow him to lick his wounds in the privacy of his own small room. He usually put up some type of an argument at this point but tonight he was too tired and besides he was pretty sure that the blood, supposedly hidden by his cape, had soaked through the thick yellow material.
The door opened and he found himself wondering if the darkness he saw was real or simply the result of his fast dimming vision.
Without saying a word she deposited him on the bed and went in search of the first aid supplies she kept stashed in various locations around her room. He wondered if he should lie down. No doubt if he did his blood would stain the sheets and she'd yell at him but the soft bed was so tempting... As it turned out the choice was out of his hands. His body betrayed him and he suddenly found himself staring at the ceiling. 'One less thing to worry about I suppose' he thought to himself.
His view of the ceiling was obscured for a moment by her worried face. He tried to smile at her but his body had long since stopped listening to him commands. He heard her voice chanting foreign words and suddenly the haze of pain lifted somewhat. Turning his head slightly he watched as she peeled back the tattered edges of his uniform and examined his wound.
She was biting her lip, not a good sign.
He might have been concerned but the spell was making it difficult for him to concentrate on his injury so he studied her instead. Her hair had grown longer over the last few months but it was still short enough that it fell past her shoulders and into her face as she leaned over him. Distractedly she raised one delicate hand to tuck the errant strands behind her ear. She was close enough that he could make out the minuet details of her face, the way her brow furrowed when she was thinking hard and the slight frown that was tugging at the corner of her lips.
He wanted to reach for her but he was pretty sure that he couldn't move and besides she would have yelled at him.
Finally she straightened up and looked him in the eye.
"Its pretty deep and it looks like there're pieces of glass."
He groaned. Glass almost always meant tweezers and he hated tweezers.
He knew what her answer would be but he asked anyway.
"Can't you use tape?"
She winced slightly before glaring at him.
He knew she hated his methods of self-treatment. If debris like gravel or glass got in a wound he would usually spare himself hours of tedious work with tweezers by applying electrical tape to the wound and then ripping it off. Sure it hurt like hell and caused the wound to start bleeding all over again but it did get most of the debris out. It had worked well enough the few times he had been forced to try it. He had only passed out from the pain twice. But once Raven had become his personal nurse she had forbidden him from using such "barbaric" methods and all of his electrical tape had mysteriously disappeared. And now she was reaching for the tweezers.
He closed his eyes.
As the spell that had been blocking the worst of the pain began to fade it was all he could do to keep from screaming. 'Remember, you have to focus on something, anything but the pain.' The lessons he had learned in his childhood brought him some relief. It took far more of an effort then it used to but he managed to pull his mind away from his abused body.
His mind wondered.
Slade. It wasn't a comforting thought but it did distract him for a few minutes.
The Titans. Another thought that failed to bring him any peace.
Raven.
Raven yelling at him for concealing his injuries from the team, from her.
Raven threatening and bullying him until he allowed her to treat his more serious wounds.
Raven muttering various curses which were directed at a certain stubborn "Boy Blunder".
His lips twitched into something like a smile.
The pain was receding, its icy grip melted by images of a certain empathy.
Raven lecturing him.
Raven smiling at him.
Raven moaning beneath him.
Raven sleeping in his arms.
Raven lying on the bloody floor of a warehouse, not moving.
His eyes shot open. The pain from his side was suddenly overshadowed by an agonizing ache that spread outwards from his chest.
For a moment he was sure that he was going to die from the pain but a cool hand pressed again his forehead and strange words filled him mind.
As the pain eased and his reason returned he found himself looking into concerned violet eyes. Raven. He wanted to reach for her and pull her close, to reassure himself that she was real, but she had already returned her attention to his side.
He tried to sigh but he seemed to be having trouble pulling air into his lungs.
Perhaps he should have listened to her unspoken suggestion. His injury was obviously more serious than he had first thought and it would be difficult to hide it from the others. Perhaps just this once he should have given in and actually asked for help. Was it really so bad for a seventeen year old boy to admit to his friends that being tossed through a fourth floor window had hurt?
He groaned.
How many times had he had this argument with himself? How many times had he sat alone in his room bandaging various cuts and bruises and wishing that he could go to his teammates for help? He wasn't sure but he knew that the temptation was growing stronger or perhaps he was just getting weaker.
He forced himself to recite his own mantra. 'You are the leader. They need you to be strong. You have to be strong and if you can't be strong than you have to at least pretend to be. They need you and that is all that matters.' It was a mantra that used to strengthen his resolve but somehow it had lost a lot of its meaning in the past year.
It was her fault really. He had been safely ensconced in his own internal struggle until Raven had come along. She wasn't like the others. She didn't depend on him, at least not the way that the others did. She knew the darkness that lurked at the back of his mind, had seen it. In a single night she had learned all of his flaws and faults, been inside his mind, and yet she had stayed by his side quietly supporting him. It had taken a while to get used to having someone in the tower who knew all of his deepest fears and secrets but somehow it had eased the burden he carried. He had never asked for someone to confide in, for an understanding companion, but he wasn't stupid enough to turn down the offer.
She had finished with the tweezers and was expertly bandaging the wound.
He watched her hands as she worked.
For some reason the sex had come easiest. He supposed it was a combination of stress and hormones. Neither one of them was that good with words anyway.
It was an unspoken bond but it was certainly powerful. It had changed both of them. He no longer spent sleepless nights going over old case files and looking for new leads, he spent them tangled in the sheets with her. And she spent more time with the others. She still didn't join in their activities often but she was almost always within reach sitting along the sidelines with a book.
Finished applying the gauze and tape she set about assessing the damage done to his uniform. She must have decided that there was no way to salvage it because she took the scissors she had used to cut the gauze and made a slit down the middle. Together they managed to remove the torn and bloody clothing without jarring his injured side. Standing she deposited the ruined uniform in the trash and returned with a pair of pajama pants she kept stashed with the first aid equipment.
Was he really that predictable?
He managed to pull the pants on by himself but she had to help him move to the head of the bed and slide under the covers.
She checked the bandage again before heading to the bathroom to wash away his blood with a quick shower.
He allowed his thoughts to retrace their earlier path as he listened to the sounds of splashing water.
Having someone like Raven had eased some of the burden that had been threatening to bury him but of course there were liabilities as well. She was weakening the barriers he had erected around himself, barriers that were meant to protect others. He had always kept people at bay. It was a lesson Bruce had taught him well. Better to push others away and keep them safe then to pull them in danger. Give them an image to embrace. Give them what they want and they won't ask questions. It wasn't always easy but it was necessary. His barriers protected the team from the true horrors of the evil they fought against and they protect his team, his friends, from the evil inside of him. And now they were slowly crumbling.
It wouldn't be long now. One day Raven would succeed in breaking his carefully constructed mask and expose him to the world.
It should have terrified him.
The thought of being exposed should have sent him running back to his own room to hide in the darkness and solitude but for some reason he simply lay in what he had come to think of as their bed waiting for her to finish her shower so that he could hold her close and listen to the steadying sound of her heart beating.
And there in lay the real danger.
Not only was she slowly chipping away at his disguise but she made him wonder what it would be like be free of his mask. Certainly there was danger involved in exposing his weaknesses to his friends and enemies alike but the thought was growing increasingly tempting. To live without hiding from his friends… It was a pleasant but ultimately disastrous dream. The cost of such freedom was simply too steep.
He heard the water stop.
A few minutes later and she emerged toweling her hair dry.
He turned his head to watch her as she prepared for bed. He loved the way the moonlight reflected off of her skin. It was a shame she always hid behind that cape of hers. Not that he could talk. He fingered his mask self-consciously.
She shivered slightly as the cool night air hit her bare skin. So much power in such a fragile body. Still shivering slightly she wrapped the blankets tightly around herself.
She insisted on checking the bandage one last time.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No." he lied.
She rolled her eyes at him and placed a delicate hand over the wound. Once again she recited the spell that would ease the pain.
His mind was wondering again, reminding him of all the dangers that this woman posed.
He told it to shut up. He was tired, his body ached, and for just one night he wanted to hold her close and not feel the gnawing guilt and worry.
Tomorrow he would be himself again. Robin, the powerless superhero, Batman's protégé, and leader of the Teen Titans. In the morning he would grit his teeth and bare whatever pain was necessary to be the leader that his team needed but for now morning was hours away.
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
So a few of you may have noticed that this is not the original Chapter 2 that I posted. I was having trouble continuing the story and I had gotten such a positive response that I felt obligated to post something. Hence the original second chapter. Of course once I posted it this came to me and it was so much better than the first. So I switched them out. This chapter fits much better with the dark tone set by the first which probably should have been left as a one-shot. I blame all you wonderful reviewers. Special thanks (and I mean it, I never personally address reviewers) to Lynx16 who gave such useful comments on both chapters. I hope this little switch meets with approval. Once again I have no plot in mind and the reviews received will largely determine whether or not this is continued. Thank you for reading.
