((500 word ficlet written for slashthedrabble's challenge "Oops". Had to butcher it a bit to meet the word requirement, I'm afraid. Sillyfic, and written quickly- reviews and constructive crit are loved. S/X slash, I seem to be in a rut here.))

"No, wait- I can explain, Buffy, it's not-"

"Oi! Easy on the goods, Slayer- Bloody hell, I said watch- Oof!"

Giles sighed as the door to his apartment slammed open, and something that was very probably expensive shattered loudly in the front room. He gently closed the book he had been reading, and looked up just as the trio marched into his kitchen. Or rather, a very distraught looking Buffy marched in- Spike and Xander seemed to be having a hard time keeping their feet under them, as they were both being dragged by the scruff of the neck. Spike managed to shoot him a surly look before Buffy dropped him unceremoniously onto the floor, while Xander, who'd been able to steady himself using the counter, was discreetly scanning the room for an emergency exit.

"Giles—" Buffy wailed, then took a deep breath as if to steel herself against what she was about to say- "They were kissing! Make it stop!" Having contributed this, she dropped into the kitchen chair next to Giles and buried her face in her hands.

Giles felt his hands reach up to remove his glasses apparently without conscious instruction from his brain. "Ah- What? Oh, dear." He patted his pocket looking for his cloth. "Xander, I heard you say there is an- ah, explanation for this- this-" He located the cloth and attacked his glasses with it, as if trying to erase the last five minutes of his life.

"Yeah! See, it wasn't what it looked like- There was, a demon- a lust demon!" Xander began desperately. "A-and, Spike and me were coming back from the Bronze- and I'm like, 'Hey, Demon!' And he's like, 'That's a lust demon!' So-o, I was all-"

"A Lazcri'nn demon," interjected Spike, sounding bored.

"Nobody asked you, fangless- And you can even look it up, it had yellow skin- except for the claws, those were black- and these three horns-" Giles could make out Xander waving his hands vaguely in the air, trying to sketch the demon there. He sighed, then paused.

"Ahh. You're very certain it was three horns?" Giles slipped his glasses back on just in time to see Spike's face go tellingly blank. Xander didn't seem to notice.

"Glies, that thing's face has been burned onto my retinas for life, I've been permanently scarred-" Giles cut him off, trying to sound calmer than he felt.

"Xander, what you've described is a Markash demon- fairly violent, remarkably similar in appearance to the, ah, lust demon- but Lazcri'nn demons have only two horns."

A moment of frozen silence followed, during which Xander's expression flickered very quickly from shock to anger to shame to, most disturbingly, speculation. He seemed to be trying to combine the four when he finally managed to look over at Spike, though all he accomplished was a sort of horribly twisted grimace, as if he'd swallowed a live cat.

Spike missed it entirely, studying the ceiling with a highly suspect look of innocence. "Oops?"