Disclaimer: This is a piece of fan fiction. Harry Potter and all characters, magic, events, royalties, etc., are the ideas and property of J.K. Rowling and whoever she designates to translate them to book, recording or film. I hope you'll enjoy my own take on this particular universe, even though I don't own it and didn't invent it.
It was a normal day in Potions class. The students were teamed up, working on their potions. Seamus and Neville were paired together, and Seamus was feeling the brunt of things.
Neville had knocked something into their potion that made a foul smell, and singed Seamus's eyebrows off. Professor Snape came around the tables to see what the problem was.
But Neville didn't see the professor coming. He was busy trying to wipe the residue off of Seamus's face and apologising.
"You're a menace!" Seamus screamed, and walked away.
Snape was right behind Neville. "Mr. Longbottom," he began.
Neville jumped back at the sound of Snape's voice, and ran right into the table behind him, where Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were working on their potion. The table shifted dangerously and knocked into Ron.
Ron tried to keep his balance, but his feet got tangled together and he fell, knocking a vial over on his way down. The vial spilled into the cauldron he and Hermione had been working on, and a pale puff of cloud came up.
The smell of lemons filled the room.
Ron sat up underneath the table and looked over toward Neville's work station. Fluid was dripping down onto the floor and splashing in its own puddle. A little of it hit Ron's hand. He wiped it off onto his robes and stood up.
"Oh, Ron!" Hermione said as his head cleared the top of the table, "I hope you didn't singe my eyebrows. Do you know how long it takes to get them just perfect?"
Ron looked at Hermione. It wasn't his fault he'd fallen, and he was about to tell her so, when he stopped.
Hermione's hair had turned a brilliant yellow blonde, and her school uniform was baby blue underneath her now-red robe. She flipped a strand of gleaming hair out of her face and flaunted away.
Ron turned, sensing that Professor Snape was still standing over him disapprovingly. What he saw made him nearly hit the floor again.
Whatever had happened to Hermione had also happened to Snape. Instead of seeing greasy black hair and black robes, Ron saw bright red robes topped by bright red, almost Weasley-red, hair.
But the black eyes hadn't changed a bit, and they were glaring down at Ron with a fierce, hot fire.
"Mr. Weasley. It isn't bad enough that Mr. Longbottom continually causes problems with his cloddish behavior. You don't have to add to the fracas! Damn it!"
Damn it? Since when did Snape cuss in class?
"Er, Professor, I'm sorry about... whatever it was..." But now Ron was starting to laugh. "Bloody hell, Professor! You look like one of us!"
"What!"
Snape nearly roared and grabbed at a polished metal stand that had held potions ingredients. He held it up so he could see himself, then threw it to the floor and rounded on Neville.
"What in bloody hell have you done, Longbottom?"
Neville crouched to the floor and began to whimper.
Snape's hands were twitching. "I'm going to wring your neck!" he shouted, and lunged down at the cowering, whimpering boy.
"Wait, Professor!" Harry Potter ran over and grabbed Snape's hands. "There's... there's something wrong with him! Look! He's got to go to the hospital wing!"
"Twenty points from Gryffindor! Let go of my hands!"
Ron looked around for Hermione. She should have made some comment by now. He couldn't find her at first, then when he did, his heart nearly stopped in his chest.
She was over on the Slytherin side of the room, her arms draped around Draco Malfoy's neck, her face very close to his, so close that all she had to do was pucker and she'd be kissing him. Draco was trying to shove her off, and calling for help from his two goons, Crabbe and Goyle. But they weren't about to touch her.
"Hey! Hermione!" Ron shouted, and rushed across the room, nearly tripping over a couple of people's legs as he went. He reached the couple and pulled Hermione away.
"What do you think you're doing with her, Malfoy?" he steamed. A growl escaped his throat.
"What d'you mean, what I'm doing with her? Call off your bleached-blond bimbo, Weasley, she's getting Gryffindor germs all over me!"
Crabbe and Goyle doubled over with laughter.
Hermione puffed out a sigh. "Oh, for sure, Malfoy. Get real. You and I are the blondest people in the school. We're made for each other."
Ron goggled at Hermione. "Have you gone daft? He's a Slytherin! A Malfoy at that! What d'you mean, you two are made for each other?"
"You just wouldn't understand. You're a redhead." And Hermione linked her arm through Draco's and dragged him, protesting, away.
"That's it! That does it! Class dismissed!" Snape howled from the other side of the room. Harry was standing between him and Neville, who was still whimpering and leaning against Harry's leg.
"All right, Longbottom, clean up this mess! Right away!"
Minerva McGonagall came rushing in past the departing students and took in the situation at once.
"Severus. Perhaps the boy should be taken to the hospital wing. And perhaps you should go as well. You look rather... different. Poppy should be able to do something."
"But, what about Hermione?" Ron asked.
Professor McGonagall looked at him. "What is wrong with Miss Granger?"
"She's gone blonde!"
McGonagall rolled her eyes. Snape reached down for Neville, but the boy scooted away, prancing and looking back as the red-headed professor followed him menacingly out of the room.
"Severus! Professor Snape!"
Professor McGonagall followed the retreating figure out of the room with Ron and Harry right behind her.
"What is it, Minerva?" Snape responded testily.
"Take Miss Granger with you as well, if you can find her."
"Oh, I think he'll be able to find her," Harry said. He could see Hermione standing a little way down the corridor, Draco Malfoy trapped between her and the wall, his two henchmen, Crabbe and Goyle, standing away and watching helplessly as the blonde girl pressed against their friend.
Ron followed Harry's gaze. His fists clenched and a low growl issued from his throat.
Neville was nearly to the stairs leading out of the dungeons. Snape turned and made his way rapidly down the corridor just as Fred and George Weasley, Ron's older twin brothers, came down the stairs.
"Oh, look!" Hermione exclaimed, smiling and pointing at Professor Snape as he approached her, "It's Bat-tomato!"
"That's not funny!" Snape roared. He put his hand against Hermione's back and propelled her toward the stairs.
"Bat-tomato," she giggled, her legs churning to keep ahead of her professor. "I think I'll call you that from now on!"
The Weasley twins made way for the strange group. "Good morning, Professor Snape," they chorused, then hurried down the hallway to Ron and Harry.
"Was that Professor Snape?"
"And Hermione?"
"What happened to them?"
"And can we get in on it?"
"There's been an accident," Professor McGonagall replied stiffly. "And yes, you may get in on it, as you say, by helping me to clean it up. Just remember not to touch any of the potions that have dripped."
"Oh, we won't touch it, Professor!" George said. He and Fred gave each other a triumphant look and rushed into the classroom.
"What did happen, Professor?" Ron asked, looking sincerely up into McGonagall's eyes.
"I'm not sure. Do you recall which potion you were working on just before this began?"
"We were working on one of the Comportamento potions," Harry answered. "Neville spilled his all over Seamus..."
"Then when Snape... I mean, Professor Snape, came over, Neville got scared and ran into mine and 'Mione's table and knocked me over. When I got up off the floor, 'Mione was acting really funny, and Professor Snape was all red."
Ron whimpered a little when he'd told about Hermione.
"You must have knocked something into the potion at a crucial time," said McGonagall.
"I think I did."
"Why don't the two of you go up to the hospital wing and tell Madam Pomphrey everything you can about this potion? I know Professor Snape is up there already, but something tells me he won't be much help in his current state. I'd better get inside and see what those boys are up to. Sometimes, I wonder how your mother does it!"
"This is great," Ron said as he and Harry made their way up to the hospital section of the castle. "First, Snape lets us out of class early. And now, we get to go to and talk to Madam Pomphrey instead of going to our next class!"
"How did Professor McGonagall know to come down?" Harry asked as they sped through the halls.
