Affection

Chapter six: A Right to be Hostile

Gently he ran his fingers through Heero's hair. Of course it was nowhere near the romantic sentiments he'd wished, but it was more of a comfort. For both of them. Heero's head was resting on Wufei's thigh and was staring up at the ceiling; they had been talking for quite some time, hours to be exact. Wufei had known that Heero and Trowa had some sort of romantic escapade going on, but he hadn't known that it had been going on for so long. It was no wonder why Heero felt so betrayed by his brother and his new found love. But Heero had also admitted that it was only right for them to eventually split up, that it wasn't right for them to feel that way about each other. Or rather for him to be so attached to Trowa in such a way, but nonetheless it hurt. In some ways Heero must have felt that this would happen to him, but had never thought it was going to happen so soon as this or as quickly. It had obviously upset him that his brother could so easily fall in love with someone in such a short amount of time. Regardless of all he said though, he felt that if it really was love then who was he to hate what they had together?

"Heero, do you know how truly an amazing person you are?"

"Well that's a load of crap." said Heero yawning.

"How can you say something like that?"

"Easy have you seen Duo?" he scratched the side of his head.

"Duo has nothing over you." said Wufei sincerity clearly written in his eyes.

"You're only saying that because you like me."

"Well, that's besides the point." said Wufei slightly laughing. A knock came from the direction of Wufei's door and without waiting for an answer it opened.

"Since when do you two hang out?" Heero immediately sat up as Quatre made his way into Wufei's room closing the door behind him.

"What are you doing here?" asked Heero as Quatre took off his shoes and merely stood by the side of the bed.

"Unlike you I do have friends Heero."

"Quatre that's enough, I don't see why you guys can't just work things out like civilized people." said Wufei rubbing his eyes in obvious irritation.

"We'll work things out once he apologizes for what he said." said Quatre crossing his arms as he sat down on the bed across from Heero with a smug smile on his face.

"Fine, I'm sorry for calling you a freaky stalker because you have a photo album full of my brothers' pictures hidden underneath your mattress." Heero smiled.

"You've got pictures of Trowa hidden underneath your mattress?" Wufei looked at Quatre like he was weird.

"I can't believe the nerves you have Heero." Quatre was completely red.

"I get it from your sister really." said Heero winking at Quatre who just ran his left hand through his hair and shook his head.

"You're really just a bad influence on each other, I swear." said Quatre shaking his head slightly.

"So what brings you here Quat?" Heero leaned over the side of the bed and picked up his drink he'd set there.

"Nothing really it's just that I saw your brother and Duo making out in a car at the park earlier today and I felt the need to bitch, so I came here." he noticed the look on Heero's face and cautiously asked. "So what are you doing here?"

"Nothing really I just saw my brother and Duo screwing each other in my bed and felt the need to get away as fast as possible." it scared Wufei more then calmed him to hear how Heero had said it as if it were nothing of importance.

"They were what?!" Quatre looked the epitome of shocked.

"Look I really don't want to talk about it." said Heero leaning against Wufei's right shoulder.

"I guess that means telling him that I like him is out of the question." Quatre flopped face front on the mattress across the edge of the bed.

"Well actually...." Heero had an apologetic smile pasted on his face.

"What did you do?" Quatre turned his head so that he could see Heero properly.

"I sort of told him that you liked him. I swear I'm sorry!" he ducked his head behind Wufei's shoulder as Quatre quickly sat up.

"I can't believe you! When?" Quatre was bright red again.

"The other day or so ago." he shrugged.

"God he must think I'm such a loser." mumbled Quatre completely turning around and started to stare out the window.

"Yeah probably." said Heero smiling as he placed his drink back on the floor.

"Heero," warned Wufei then opted for a change in subject "honestly I find it hard to figure out how the two of you even became friends in the first place."

"Jell-O." they both looked at each other smiled and started laughing, Wufei merely shook his head.

"I really don't want to know."


Trowa was sitting on the couch in the living room staring blankly at the dark empty screen of the T.V. in front of him. Never in his wildest imagination did he ever expect to see what he saw. Of all the people in the world to see his little brother so close to it had to be Wufei. He wasn't sure whether to be mortified or happy at the fact that his brother had someone else to run to when the person he usually came to was the one hurting him. And Wufei, the look he had in his eyes his face everything just seemed to fit, maybe he was too self-involved to realize what was going on around him. It had never once occurred to him that his best friend held those sorts of feelings towards his brother. He wondered if Heero even noticed Wufei's feelings.

"Trowa," Duo handed him some tea he had made "are you ok, you've been staring at the blank T.V. for about thirty minutes already?"

"Duo can I tell you something extremely personal, I mean I feel it's only fair that I tell you everything, right?" he sipped at the tea then looked at Duo.

"Of course you can, you can tell me anything." Duo sat down next to him on the couch and took a gulp from his cup and smiled.

"I doubt that, it's just I'm afraid of how you'll react or think of me after you know this." Trowa stared into his steaming cup.

"As long as you haven't killed anybody it really couldn't be that bad." Duo stared at Trowa.

"Well, my brother Heero and I are very close to each other." said Trowa still looking into his cup.

"I've noticed."

"No, I don't think you realize how close we are to each other." Trowa looked up at Duo.

"What do ya mean?" Duo scooted closer.

"I mean we're close as in how you and I are close." Trowa watched Duo's expression carefully, but honestly couldn't tell anything from it.

"When you say you and I you mean like.....romantic.....sexually?" said Duo slowly as his eyebrows furred as if trying to picture it without even knowing it.

"Yes."

"Yeah that is kind of sick, but I guess that explains why Heero hated me so much." he shook his head for a second.

"Duo?" his voice came out so soft and you could hear the trembling in it so clearly that he hoped Duo didn't notice.

"Uh...yeah?" he had sat up and had wedged himself in the corner of the couch.

"You hate me now and think I'm one of the sickest human beings you've ever met don't you?" Trowa sat back and covered his eyes with his right arm hoping Duo wouldn't notice the tears.

"God no, it's just, it's just, it's different is all. I don't want you to think that I think you're gross or disgusting I'm just really not sure what to think honestly." Duo had immediately scooted closer to Trowa and had wrapped his arms around him. It took him a moment to actually realize that Trowa was crying.

"I was honestly terrified you'd just get up and walk out the door and never speak to me again. It's a moment I dread everyday of my life. I'm afraid that one day someone's going to find out and tell everyone and then not just me but Heero would be ridiculed for it." he leaned into Duo's arms and continued to cry.

Duo wanted to reassure Trowa, tell him that it would never happen, but he was right. He himself wasn't completely ok with it himself, thought it was disturbing really, but for Trowa's sake he would accept it. He needed someone to accept it, that's why he told him or at least that's what he thought. Trowa was just as insecure as Heero was about losing his brother to him. It all made sense though, the looks Heero would send him, the general aura of hate being shot at him. He wanted so badly for Heero to accept him as his brothers lover, but seriously doubted it would happen now. Had either of them realized they'd been in Heero's room they'd have been out of it in seconds.

"Don't worry I'm not going anywhere Trowa, I'm not going to desert you." for the rest of the day they sat there in the living room. Duo holding Trowa whispering constant reassurances into his ear and kissing him on top of his head.


Morning called and Heero had slowly opened his eyes only to be greeted by the sight of Wufei, touching himself. At first he panicked and made sure not to draw attention to himself, he felt his face grow hot all the way to his ears. He knew he should close his eyes, feign sleep, something! But couldn't bring himself to look away it was all too interesting to him and oddly attractive. Momentarily he tried to stare at the wall and briefly wondered what time Quatre had gone home, but found his eyes darting back to the sight of Wufei. Wufei's eyes were closed and he was starting to quicken his pace, momentarily he paused, and let his index finger and thumb work the head of his- Heero bit his lip trying to keep in the moan that nearly escaped from his mouth or so he thought. He opened his eyes again and was met by Wufei's shocked expression. He guessed biting his lip didn't help.

"I uh....." quickly he turned around.

"Oh god." he heard Wufei say as he felt the other side of the bed shift.

"I didn't mean to watch I swear!" said Heero embarrassedly while covering his head with the blanket.

"No it's my fault I should have g-gone to the bathroom or something." Wufei was on the floor by the side of the bed wondering how long Heero had been watching him doing that. He'd only noticed that Heero was even awake because of the stifled moan he'd heard.

"I'm sorry if I killed your hard on." said Heero from beneath the blanket trying to hide the extremely red blush on his face, but all it did was make it worse to hear him mentioning it.

"Quatre's right, Naima is a bad influence on you!" said Wufei starting to laugh.

"Just as much as I am to her." said Heero uncovering his face a little.

"You can take the blanket off your face now it's safe, but give me a sec while I use the bathroom." Heero watched Wufei walk into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

To be honest the only reason he was still underneath the blanket was not only to hide his face, but also the raging hard on he himself sported at the moment. He took a minute to take a deep breath and tried thinking of something that would work to make it go away and immediately came up with the image of Duo and his brother. Not only had it actually worked, but it had also brought back all the bitterness and loneliness he'd been feeling yesterday. He told himself it would eventually subside and that he himself would eventually find someone to love like that. Maybe he'd be able to return Wufei's feelings, not at that moment, but eventually. Wufei was a nice guy and obviously liked him no matter what and man was the guy attractive, he'd never noticed it quite before, but he really was. He snapped out of his musings when he heard the bathroom door open.

"Can I ask you something?" Heero sat up in the bed.

"Sure what?" Wufei was drying his hands on a towel and threw it into the dirty laundry hamper across the room.

"How'd you get the scar on the back of your leg?" Heero noticed the slightly jarred expression pass over Wufei's features.

"When did you-?"

"In the locker room." said Heero before Wufei could finish.

"Oh."

"So are you going to tell me?" asked Heero as Wufei sat down on the end of the bed opposite Heero then moved up and to the right so that he was sitting right next to him.

"I got it from my step-dad." Wufei stared at Heero through the reflection of the mirror in front of his bed.

"How?"

"He'd caught me with my boyfriend at the time, making out in the backyard, and basically beat the shit out of me. My boyfriend had made it out and managed to call the police. When they'd got there I was frantically kicking at my step-dad and somehow he'd broke a branch off the tree and took a swing at me aiming for my back, but I moved and he caught the back of my leg instead." Wufei watched the horrified expression etch its way onto Heero's face and just shrugged.

"Where's he now?" asked Heero turning his head in Wufei's direction.

"In prison somewhere out of state, my mother devoiced him immediately right after the incident and we moved." Wufei leaned back and just smiled.

"How long ago did this happen?"

"I think I was thirteen at the time."

"And your boyfriend?"

"We lost touch, but it doesn't really matter now."

"Wow! And I thought I had a bad life." Heero leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

"We deal with what we're dealt I've merely learned to accept it for what it was and moved on with my life. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with the person I love, even if he doesn't return my feelings." he turned and smiled at Heero who'd had since moved his gaze toward Wufei's.

"I've only loved one person in my life and truth be told I'm afraid to let anyone else get to know me for who I really am. I'm afraid they'll see right into my soul and realize that I'm just a sad human being with zero self-esteem, and drop me like a ton of shit. I don't want to be alone Wufei because to be really honest I find that silence is the most terrifying sound in the world. And that if I'm left alone for too long I'll end up doing something stupid." Heero's eyes started to water and automatically Wufei wrapped his arms around Heero's form.

"If you let me I'll be there for you Heero, .....but it's your decision in the end." whispered Wufei.

"God I wish I could let you." cried Heero.

"Why can't you." asked Wufei softly.

"Because you're this amazing person and I'm just Heero. I've done nothing great with my life, I've got no life altering stories to tell, I'm in love with my brother, I'm afraid to let others get even remotely close to me, and I'm nothing compared you or anyone else for that matter."


Trowa woke up in Duo's arms completely surrounded by his scent. Somehow at sometime once he'd fallen asleep Duo had carried him into his bedroom and even changed his clothes. He ran his fingers through Duo's bangs and smiled. He wished he'd felt bad for having Duo sleeping next to him and not Heero, but just couldn't. Although he desperately wanted to speak to Heero and explain to him that he hadn't meant to end up in his bedroom like that, but knew that was not the only reason why Heero was upset. He'd virtually up'd and cheated on him with little to no thought process involved at all. He didn't want Heero to hate him, but really couldn't think of a way to rectify the situation. He paused in thought when he heard the doorbell ring. He quickly got up and when to the front door.

"Hello?" he peeked through the small space he'd opened and then opened it fully after seeing who it was.

"I came by to pick up some clothes for Heero."

"Quatre? I thought you and Heero weren't talking to each other." he let the blonde boy pass and followed him into Heero's room.

"I stopped by Wufei's yesterday and incidentally made up with him while I was there. But I really don't understand why he's this bent out of shape about it. I mean I know you guys are oddly close to each other, but really."

"Does it hurt being in love with someone who will never return your feelings."

Quatre gasped and refused to look at Trowa, "It hurts, but it's something I must deal with."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be I don't need your pity or sympathy." he just continued to pack Heero's clothes.


A/N: Well that's all for tonight it's already 2:00 am, and I'm watching Here Is Green Wood, but I really need some sleep so yeah. Till next chpt, bye!