Affection
Chapter seven: So long last rain
When he had showed up at Heero's house to pick up his clothes he wasn't expecting Trowa to say anything. Worse yet, he felt completely embarrassed by the situation. Trowa knew, but didn't return his feelings, he wanted to make up an excuse for himself that would seem obvious that he was over him, but just couldn't. He wanted Trowa and knew that now it was never going to happen. All this time he'd been pining over him, trying to work up the courage to tell him or even write a note, now there was nothing he could do. He wanted Trowa so bad that he felt pathetic. There were so many things he should have done different. Hell even hit on him, but no all he did was obsess over him. Oh God what had he just said? He wasn't obsessed over Trowa. He just liked him so much it made him cry at night knowing that he was now spending all his time with Duo. It was a wonder he'd managed not to cry. Once he was done packing Heero's clothes he shut the door behind him and walked into the hall to tell Trowa that he was leaving. He stopped short of completely entering the room. No wonder Heero was so mad at his brother. There he was encircled in Duo's arms, curled up like a small child would to its mother when sleepy. He could hear Trowa mumbling something to Duo, his soft voice rising from the folds of blankets covering the pair on the bed.
"Do you think Heero is ever going to forgive me?" he heard Trowa exhale softly.
"Of course he's your brother and he loves you just as much as you love him."
"Maybe more. I feel like such a horrible person having left him like that."
"Trowa don't beat yourself up over it. You fell in love you don't have to apologize to him and he needs to come to terms with what's happened on his own. Time isn't what sets things right or worse its people. We laugh, we learn, we cry, and we fall in love it's what comes natural for us just as acceptance does." Duo voice sounded like he was both sure and unsure at his own words, but that he wanted them to be real for Trowa's sake.
He had wanted Heero and Duo to get together so that while Trowa was down on the fact that his little brother now had somebody other than himself he'd be able to move in and comfort him. But no, Trowa was with Duo and it seemed that Heero and Wufei were forging their own little relationship with each other. None of this was working out as he'd planed.
"I feel like shit. The last thing in the world I ever wanted was for Heero to hate me. I tried so hard to make sure that he was always happy no matter what because he was what mattered most. I never wanted to see him cry again." he could hear trembling in Trowa's voice. He'd always taken Trowa for the fun strong type who never had to worry about anything.
"Trowa when was the last time you did something for yourself?" it was an honest curious question on Duo's part.
"Um........I.....it was......I'm not sure." God how sad, thought Quatre. Trowa really cared a lot for his little brother. He finally told himself it was wrong of him to be listening on their conversation like this.
"I'm going to take you out and you can't say no. It'll be like a date or something ok, we'll go to the-" Duo was cut off before he could finish.
"I'm going now, ok." said Quatre as he turned around and headed for the door. Once he was at the door Trowa called him. "What?"
"Tell Heero that I'm sorry and I love him ok." Trowa looked so tired but at the same time content. Heero being angry at him really was taking a toll on Trowa. It really was sad.
Heero sat on top of Wufei's bed waiting for him to get out of the bathroom. Wufei said he'd take him and Quatre out for some fresh air, which they so desperately needed by his standards apparently. He flopped back onto the bed and hugged one of Wufei's pillows and smiled. He actually really enjoyed Wufei's scent. It reminded him of long warms summers at the lake spent with Carmon and Trowa. He shook his head, no, that's not something he wanted to attach his scent to, but it really was something he felt so comfortable and content with. He stared up at the ceiling and briefly wondered what Trowa was doing right now. He did miss his brother a lot, but being in Wufei's presence seemed to clam him more than he'd originally realized or thought. He wasn't overbearing or easily embarrassed for that matter. He was perfect. All his life he'd believed that Trowa and him were meant to be with each other, but Duo had so easily taken his place beside his brother. It really was time he let go of those thoughts he'd had since he was younger. Besides, Trowa had always been there for him, he couldn't remember a day when his brother had ever done anything for himself in a long time. The last time he'd ever done something for himself was probably when they were kids....... God how long was Trowa going to put himself aside for Heero's benefit? It was wrong to be so selfish, but Trowa had never once said he didn't want Heero around. Always, always it had been for him, Heero, his little brother that he cared and worried so much about and for. But knowing that, he wasn't about to go back to the house so quickly. He'd stay for maybe one more day or so then he'd go back home. Although he knew it wasn't right to do that to his brother and make him worried more.
"Heero here are your damn clothes!" growled Quatre as he threw Heero's backpack full of clothes at him.
"God Quat what the hell bit your ass?" asked Heero opening the backpack digging for some clothes to wear. He'd already taken a shower and had just been waiting for Quatre to show up so that he'd have some clean clothes to wear.
"Your brother!" Quatre plopped down on the bed.
"I'm not quite sure how to take that." said Heero eyeing Quatre strangely.
"Why the hell did you have to tell him?" groaned Quatre then he sat up.
"Oh, yeah sorry, he said something to you about that?" he could only imagine the horrified look Quatre might have had if his brother wasn't in the room. Quatre could get really dramatic.
"You know what he asked me?!" yelled Quatre crossing his legs and grabbing his left leg while leaning forward.
"No what?" said Heero causally as he found a shirt he liked.
"Does it hurt being in love with someone who will never return your feelings." Quatre looked at Heero like "you see" kind of look on him.
"Ouch."
"Ouch my ass, I felt like such a fucking idiot standing in the same room as him. God I could have thrown myself out the damn window at that moment."
"But it's not like you let on that you felt that way." Heero knew Quatre, he'd never let on when he felt embarrassed or ashamed of something, he'd just try to act causally.
"Well yeah, but I still felt stupid."
The bathroom door opened and out walked Wufei toweling his hair dry. He was wearing just some faded blue jeans with tears at the knees and a black T-shirt that said: DANGEROULSY UNDER-MEDICATED. Heero smiled briefly at it, he and Trowa bought that shirt for Wufei as a gag gift for his birthday along with a can of olives. He got off the bed and walked into the bathroom to go and change into some different clothes. He stood in front of the mirror and looked at his reflection and tried to figure out what it was that Wufei liked about him. With the tips of his fingers he ruffled his bangs a bit. Leaning forward he stared at his eyes and tried to figure out what color blue they could possibly be. He never liked seeing his reflection this close up. He changed into some dark jeans and a red T-shirt and nice white shoes. For some reason he felt like dressing really nice today. He saw Wufei's clothes pilled up in the corner of the bathroom floor. He walked over and picked up his shirt and smelled it. He was really getting addicted to his scent. Before he left he'd have to make sure to take off with a shirt or two of Wufei's. Walking out of the bathroom he noticed that Wufei had already done his hair and was now tying his shoes.
"So where we going?" asked Heero putting his stuff in the closet.
"That new place that just opened downtown." said Wufei as he stood up and grabbed his wallet off the top of his drawer.
"We're not walking are we?" asked Quatre as he got off the bed.
"Yeah why?" they walked out of the bedroom, through the living room and outside.
"That's it I'm calling my sister." said Quatre already calling on his cell phone.
Trowa and Duo were sitting at a table in the corner of the place called Soul Reviver. It played soft rock, alternative, and other such music, but really it just depended on the one running the music for the day. They served mixed vegetable drinks, various sodas, coffee, and energy drinks of all sorts. Currently they were drinking two tall cans of ...Lost Energy Drink the unique colors of black, gray, white, and red had caught Duo's eyes not to mention the extremely eccentric borage of pictures covering it. To Duo the taste of the drink reminded him of Pop Rocks mixed with Mountain Dew and lemon, although that was just him and Trowa thought it reminded him of cotton candy.
"I'm glad we came here." said Trowa smiling as he took another swig of the drink from the can.
"Me too Tro, I like being around you a lot. Next time I'm going to have to bring my camera so that I can take some pictures of you. Maybe even some of both you and Heero when everythings all worked out for the best." said Duo smiling at Trowa wondering why he was so fixated on his deep green eyes at the moment. There was just something in his eyes that was saying something that he wished to God he could hear, but it was just a sound on a different plane for someone else's ears.
"Maybe." it really was nice to be out like this with Duo.
"How uncomfortable are you with public displays of affection?" asked Duo letting a crooked smile play across his soft inviting lips.
"None in the least, when you're with the person you like it shouldn't matter what others think and say. All that really matters is that the person you love and care about feels the Goddamn same way as you." he quickly leaned across the table and brushed his lips against Duo's. The kiss was warm and he could feel the tip of Duo's tongue trailing along his lower lip and then felt Duo slightly nibble and with his teeth lightly pulled back causing Trowa's bottom lip to swell a bit, Duo just smiled.
"The customary Maxwell make-out precursor all lessons free, but only on Sundays." Trowa shook his head and smiled brightly from ear to ear something that was a rarity for others besides Heero to see, Duo really was amazing.
"God if I wanted to listen to this kind of music and drink vegetable juice I'd go home, not spend five buck on what's probably just V8 in a glass with some kiwi's added for decoration." that voiced sounded more than just familiar, it was the voice who's body had been avoiding him.
"Heero, don't bitch if you ain't buying k?" said a female voice.
"Right, sorry Fei." said Heero smiling. Trowa knew that the only other person besides Quatre that would say something like that was Naima. Both he and Duo peered in the direction of the voices. Trowa noticed the way that Wufei had slightly blushed at the new nickname that Heero had given him. Naima had thrown an arm around Heero's shoulders, that girl was always trying to get Heero into bed with her. But he knew that his brother would never and had never been interested in girls. Briefly he wondered if Heero and her ever tried things together. You can be gay and still kiss girls, or wait, no, that's just a stupid thought. Heero and Naima are just friends like Quatre and Heero were friends only Naima; like her sisters all had a thing for Heero.
"I'll take the carrot mix thing and Heero will have a Pepsi and Quatre wants water. We'll go and find a table k." for a second Trowa wondered if Naima had seen him or not. She had carted Heero with her to the other side of the building where the red velvet couch was at.
Wufei had brought the drinks over to the couch and set them down on the table in front of the couch. Wufei sat next to Heero and picked up his drink Quatre said something that caused Heero to laugh and Wufei to momentarily choke on his drink. For a while all Trowa could do was watch as his brother, best friend, and company had fun laughing while he sat solemnly in the corner with Duo. He shouldn't be acting like that though he should be happy that Heero could get over it like that. It just hurt slightly seeing him smile when he wasn't the one making him.
"Trowa?" he heard Duo say.
"Sorry do you want to leave or something."
"No I'm fine, but are you ok?" Duo glanced back over at the couch and noticed that Heero was absent from the group.
"I'm perfectly fine.....well not perfectly fine, but you know what I mean right?" said Trowa smiling slightly. "I'll go get us another drink alright."
"K" said Duo.
Trowa was pushing out his chair when he accidentally caused someone to trip. Quickly Trowa caught the slim guy before he went face flat onto the floor. Last thing he wanted was some idiot suing him for not paying attention. Sometimes he just had the worst luck with things like that. Or really he just had the worst luck.
"Heero?"
"........" he didn't say anything and quickly stared in the direction of the couch, nobody had noticed.
"I'm sorry I didn't see you." Trowa had yet to let go of his little brother who was now just staring at in.
"Why don't you sit down for a little bit till Trowa gets back with the drinks?" Duo was trying to help that was obvious.
".....fine." said Heero managing to get out of Trowa's arms and into the chair opposite Duo. Trowa stared at Heero for a few seconds and glanced at Duo and smiled before walking off to the front of the building to get him and Duo something to drink.
"So Heero, how are you?" Duo quickly downed what was left of his drink.
"Duo do you really like my brother that much...........are you in love with him?" all he needed to know now if Duo's intentions were good. If by chance Duo didn't feel the same way that he did for his brother then he'd definitely do something to rectify the situation immediately. Trowa needed someone who would treasure him more than anything in the world.
"In all honesty yes I am. I've never felt this way about somebody in my life before. Heck I'm sure you know what I'm talking about when I say that I've never met anybody so completely amazing before. The way he smiles, the way he looks at you with those deep green eyes, his laugh every inch and aspect of him is just as lifting as the next. I never meant to come between you or him, shit I had absolutely no idea you guys were even that close to begin with. If Trowa had never said anything I probably would have never guessed it in a million years."
"Trowa told you?" Heero wasn't sure how comfortable he felt around Duo anymore. Well he never liked being near him to begin with, but if Duo knew that he and Trowa-
"Don't worry it's not like I'm telling anyone. Although I thought it was sick at first, but there's no way I'm letting it bother me. Trowa he means a lot to me and I don't want to hurt him if that's how things were before I came 'round than who am I to say something." Duo was a good guy, but it wasn't like he was about to come right out and say it.
"I'm glad you feel that way about him he deserves somebody who can accept every aspect of him and his life. The last thing I ever wanted in my life was someone taking Trowa away from me, but since he left on his own I can't really hate him much less his decision. All I want is for him to be happy now. I was afraid that if one day someone found out they'd spread it all over and people would judge us and say things..........such horrible things like when I was younger." he glanced back over at the couch and immediately caught eyes with Wufei and just shrugged and mouthed "one minute" and pulled his attention back to Duo.
"Are you and-" Heero cut him off.
"God no! I mean not yet, no wait, it's.....shit.....what I meant to say was that no nothing is happen between us. He's a great guy and deserves somebody better than me is all." Heero got up and was about to walk off when Duo stopped him.
"You're a great guy Heero and you have nothing to worry about I wont ever hurt Trowa. I'm just wondering when you're planning on head on back home? Trowa's been worrying himself sick since the second you walked out that house."
Heero stood still for a second and thought about it, he had told himself that he'd only stay maybe one more day but now he really just wanted to stay so that he could spend more time near Wufei. He'd need to face this soon or it'd get out of hand and that was the last thing he wanted. One of those relationships that one person was in love and the other in blissful denial, well.......now wasn't that just admitting something?
"Just give me about a week. It's not Trowa's fault it's just me trying to get a feel for something." Heero smiled and walked off back to the other side to sit with the group he came with.
"He left already? What'd you guys say to each other?" asked Trowa as he sat down at the table.
"Heero's not mad at you and he's going to stay at Wufei's for about a week or so, he said it had nothing to do with you he's just getting a feel for something apparently." Duo opened his can and took along sip from it.
"Feel for something?" what in the world could he want a feel of? He turned his head and watched Heero sit down next to Wufei he said say something to him Wufei smiled while replying to Heero and then he watched as his little brother hugged his best friend. Why did he get the feeling that he was drastically missing something important?
A/N: Sorry that took so long I got sick and it was hard for me to think and type properly. Hopefully I get better soon,right now my head's killing me. (I think I'm gonna cry) I still have class tonight! Well hope that's enough to suffice for the time being.
As always please REVIEW!
