Fred and George Weasley had secreted some of the two messes into vials and put them in their robes. If there was anything they liked better than discovering a new potential joke, it had to be their mother's cooking. Since they were far from home and not likely to be there any time soon, they took refuge in their jokes.
"What do you think it's got in it?" George asked, sniffing the top of the one vial.
"Lemons, for that hint of lemony freshness," Fred replied. He opened the top of the other vial and immediately made a face.
"Hair of the dog that bit you," said George, identifying the odor from a disastrous Potions assignment in his second year.
"Otherwise, a straight Comportamento," Fred said. "Shouldn't be too hard."
"It's not that, of course..."
"It's the antidote. But that..."
"With the greasy git occupied elsewhere..."
"Shouldn't be too hard to look up!"
Dinner had been finished long ago. The twins crept down to the dungeons, avoiding the possible eye of an errant Slytherin. Students were studying, or not studying, whatever their preference, in some pretty odd places, and it was harder to get into the dungeons than to get to Snape's lab.
"You'd think they'd do their kissing..."
"Down by the lake. I didn't know..."
"Millicent Bullstrode went for..."
"A Ravenclaw, no less!"
They poked their identical heads around the door, then opened it wide and sailed in. Snape, in any incarnation, was nowhere to be seen. George closed the door and they went to the table.
"Someone's been working on it," Fred said, lifting the lid of a cauldron sitting near the edge. "Wonder if it was Snape?"
"Could be. I don't think he can really handle redheadedness. I mean, the emotions..."
"Shh!"
Someone was stomping along the hall. Fred and George pushed into some small crevasses between cupboards just as the door flew open and redheaded Snape stormed into the room. He was ranting and raving to himself, tossing his arms all about him, knocking things over as he came. He stopped about a foot from his work table and plastered his arms to his sides.
"Damned Longbottom! Curs-ed Weasley!" he fumed, and stiffly forced himself to walk calmly to the cauldron.
Fred rolled his eyes at George, who was peeking out, his existence hidden by shadows. Snape really couldn't handle being a redhead! Especially not a stereotypical one!
"Blonding!" he fumed as he leaned over the potion. "Bleaching! And damn these robes! They were supposed to be colorfast!"
George nearly fell over, he was leaning out so far. There was nothing colorfast where a Weasley was involved, if only marginally.
"Lemon shavings. An entire bottle of it! Blast that boy for having it so close to the cauldron in the first place! Fifty points from Gryffindor for that blunder!"
Snape's hands were shaking as he added just a pinch of ebon to the antidote.
"And that Granger! 'Bat-tomato' indeed! She'll have so much work that she'll never crawl out of the library again! The use of tomatoes in binding potions. How would she like that?"
A little cathair, just a touch...
"And Longbottom."
Snape tensed, then recalled himself with effort and stepped away from the table before his arms began flying once again. "Longbottom! Cursed by a wayward pratfall! The little..."
Fred and George knew all those words, they had used them against Snape time and time again. But it sounded strange to have them spurting from those twisted, sneering lips.
"I ought to send the bill for this to his grandmother. Better yet, I ought to take it out of his hide!"
Arms flailing like a bloody windmill, Snape suddenly sprang into motion and fairly flew out of the room.
"Neville's in for it now..."
"Unless Dumbledore can stop him!"
The door banged shut of its own accord and the twins crept out of their hiding places.
"Let's see what Bat-tomato has up his scarlet sleeve," George said, peering around the table. He finally found the book Snape had been using and he and Fred set to work.
"MISTER POTTER!"
Harry froze in his tracks. Snape, red hair and robes flying out behind him as he leaped over one of the beds in his rush to reach Harry's side, was bearing down on him.
"What are you doing back here again?" Snape demanded, grabbing Harry by his arm.
"I'm here to visit my friends," Harry replied, wrenching free from the steel grip.
"Visit your friends. Visit your friends? Don't you have homework to do? I know you've got a lot of work to do in, say, Potions!"
"I just wanted to see..."
"To see what? The sideshow? Well, here it is!"
Snape turned in circles, his arms outstretched, inviting Harry to take a full, horrified look at his transformation.
"Well? Is that enough? Or do you want to see the dogfight?"
Snape made the crossing of the room in two large steps and swept the curtains aside. Neville was cowering and whimpering under his cot while Seamas growled ferociously over the edge of his bed, where he had been restrained with harness and lead. Ron was bouncing happily on all fours, his tongue hanging out, as he watched the scene in progress.
"Or, how about this?"
Another curtain, on the other side of the room, was pulled away. Hermione looked up, gave a shocked little grimace, and pulled the curtain back around her so she could finish rolling up her hair.
"Satisfied?" Snape roared as Harry backed away.
"Er, yes, sir. I mean, no, sir!" Harry stammered as his first response only made the professor glower more. "I'd better go... I've got homework to do!"
He backed up until he reached the door, then turned and raced as fast as he could back to Gryffindor Tower.
"Success!"
George put a spoon to his twin's mouth and Fred took a taste.
"Mm! Beef roast!" he said, licking his lips. "But, what if they don't like beef roast?"
"I've got something that tastes like curry."
"Fantastic!" Fred said. "Now all we have to do is get the antidote into them and dispense them up on the ward."
"This is one time I'm anxious to see Snape the way he was," said George, injecting some of the potion into a candy mold. The syrupy mixture congealed inside the setting hardtack, just barely able to be seen from the surface. "I mean, a redheaded Snape! Did you ever?"
"Wish I'd never," Fred replied.
Just then, the door swung open and Dumbledore walked in.
"There you are. I was wondering, ever since Professor McGonagall said you'd helped her clean up. Have you got anything?"
"Quite possibly. Though old... that is, Professor Snape... had it almost finished when we got here."
"We only put it into candies, so it'll go down easier," Fred added, holding up one of the nearly-hard shapes.
Dumbledore had a look at the recipe they'd been using, and asked how they knew where to take up.
"Oh, Professor Snape came in while we were here..."
"We hid so he wouldn't see us, though..."
"And added the ebon and hair. That's how..."
"We knew where to pick it up," Fred finished.
Dumbledore nodded. "It's a shame you two didn't take your studies more seriously. You'd be top of the lists if you would. Oh, well, let's get these candies up to the ward."
Hermione had changed her outfit to a Slytherin green and silver, short skirt, tight sweater, and was fighting Madam Pomphrey to get out to the Quidditch pitch before the game began.
"But, I have to root for Drakey!" she said imperiously.
"But, you have to stay in bed so you can get better," Poppy replied.
"But, Drakey..!" Hermione stretched her arms out toward the door, just as Fred and George and Professor Dumbledore came in.
"More Weasleys!" Snape exploded from the far side of the room.
"Now, Severus, they've only brought some candies to cheer you all up," Dumbledore soothed. He gave a signal to Poppy that everything was all right, and Fred and George distributed the sweets.
"Here you go, Seamas!" George called, tossing a candy into the air. Seamas leaped happily and caught it in his mouth.
"Good boy! Here you are, Neville! Come on!"
Neville stuck his head cautiously out from underneath the bed and snatched the sweet away.
"Here, Ron! Here, Ronnie-boy! Boy, I could get to like this," George said to Fred, who was laughing at his side.
Ron bounced over and lapped the candy from George's fingers.
"Good boy! Good Ronnie!" the twins both praised him, scratching behind his ears.
"Hey! I'm not your dog!" Ron exclaimed. Then he noticed where he was sitting, and stood up.
"It worked on them," Fred said as Seamas and Neville both got to their feet and began smoothing out their wrinkled robes.
"Now for the real challenge."
George approached Hermione, who was still arguing with Madam Pomphrey.
"Hermione! Sweets for the sweet," he said, and she eagerly took the candy.
"It won't ruin my figure, will it?" she asked.
"It's low-cal. Honest," Fred said, giving George a nudge. The worst was yet to come.
Professor Snape glared red fire at them as they cautiously approached. George held out the candy, and Snape grabbed it away from him.
"Thanks," he said, turning his back to them while popping the sweet into his mouth.
In a moment, the only reminders of the day were Hermione's cheerleading outfit and Snape's red robes.
"Congratulations!" Professor Dumbledore said, patting both twins on their shoulders. "You've done a magnificent job."
Fred and George were about to leave when Snape's usual low hiss filled the room:
"Messers Weasley."
The twins turned around. Snape as a redhead didn't quite have such a deadly edge.
"Were you aware that I was working on an antidote?"
"Yes, sir," George answered.
"But you seemed a little distracted..."
"So we decided to give you a hand."
"Hope you don't mind," Fred finished for the pair.
"No, I don't mind. And, I ought to thank you. But would you please stop finishing each other's sentences!"
Suddenly, Hermione shrieked.
"What am I doing in these clothes? And why do I have a picture of Draco Malfoy in my locket?"
"I really feel like a good bit of beef," Ron said, leading Seamas and Neville toward the door.
"I don't know, I feel like a curry myself," Neville replied.
Seamas stopped in the door a moment, a puzzled look on his face. "Do you think they'd let me have a bone?" he asked before running to catch up to his friends.
