Affection

Chapter ten: Live And Let Go

Slowly they made their way down the long street heading straight into the middle of what Heero liked to call Suburbia hell. He felt slightly bad for Quatre walking behind him and Wufei; having to listen to them both talk about inane things just so that they could somehow get to what Heero really wanted to talk about. Not that he didn't want to tell Wufei that he was in love with him; although, he still couldn't quite understand why someone as amazing as Wufei would want to be with him to begin with.

They'd gotten to Wufei's house around three in the afternoon. When they'd gone inside, the house was completely empty. Quatre and Heero had put their things down in the living-room and waited while Wufei put his own things away. When Wufei had come back into the living-room he made a head motion at Heero to follow him. Suddenly Heero felt nervous, he hadn't really been expecting that strange flutter to jump so quickly to his stomach. It's was kinda scary really. Once outside Wufei sat down on the back porch, Heero on the other hand was walking around the backyard.

"Heero you seem more nervous then a guy on a ten foot ladder, can you stop pacing?" said Wufei slightly smiling as he watched Heero walking around his small backyard.

"No, actually….." he smiled sheepishly and ran his fingers through his hair and turned toward Wufei.

Wufei just arched an eyebrow at him, "Yes, Heero?"

"Arg…" he quickly turned from Wufei and paced a few more seconds. Then he turned around and stared at Wufei. "I know I'm probably not the greatest person in the world and that you could do so much more better than me, but……..I'm glad that you like me and I guess what I'm trying to say is………..I like you too."

Wufei smiled and grabbed Heero lightly by the wrist and pulled him down to him. "I'm glad. And trust me, there's no one out there who could ever compare to or surpass you, Heero."

They sat there on the back porch for quite a while, Heero in Wufei's arms. Both talked about the things they enjoyed most about each other's company, personality, and quirks. It was so completely comfortable, more so than Heero ever thought it would in his life. Telling someone the things that scared you, made you smile, so nervous you thought you would die. And also, hearing things you never knew and probably never would have known, from the person who made your heart hammer like a woodpecker.

Quatre had come out into the yard a few hours later complaining about being hungry and being ignored. So currently they were out in the back yard attempting to use the grill. But since none of them had ever used one before, they called Trowa and had asked him and Duo to come over. Naima had also been called in the process and was downing a Pepsi.

"I think you're supposed to push that red button." said Naima pointing at the grill.

"Are you sure? What about the propane tank?" said Heero crouching down and staring at it.

"You people trying to blow yourselves up or what!" called Trowa from the back door, Duo right behind him.

"That's why we called you damnit, what the hell took so long?" said Wufei smiling at the pair in the doorway.

"I hold the right not to incriminate myself." said Trowa laughing as he made way to the grill.

"You guys always do this spur of the moment kind of thing?" asked Duo sitting next to Naima who looked him up and down.

"Well, they've never tried to grill before, but yah, usually we take off to eat or go out of town or something. So, you're the guy who stole Trowa's heart, huh?" she glanced at her brother who was standing next to Trowa.

"Uh, yeah I guess, why?" he stared at her for a second then turned his attention back to Trowa.

"No reason, it's just that…….it's strange how things turn out. Don't ya think?" she looked at Duo and smiled.

"What do you mean?" he looked at her.

"If you hadn't come, what do you think would have happened? Would Heero and Trowa still be attached at the hip? Would Quatre have actually told Trowa himself that he was in love with him? Not that I dislike you or anything. I've heard a lot about you from Heero."

"And what kind of things has he said about me?" Duo started toeing the ground with his boot.

"None of your business." said Heero walking up to them.

Wufei also walked over to them. "Heero, Trowa needs you and Duo to go to the store and pick up a few things."

"What!" said Heero.

"Here's a list of the things we need. He said you had no choice." Wufei handed Heero the list and went inside to go and prepare some of the things they were going to use.

XXX

In the kitchen Wufei was pulling out various condiments and other would be toppings for the food. Granted it had been a spur of the moment kind of thing, but that's how they liked to keep things. Spur of the moment otherwise life would be boring. He placed everything on a tray and walked to the cabinets and shifted through the contents looking for salt, pepper, garlic powder, and the sort. The back door opened and he turned his head.

"Hey Naima." he went back to what he was doing.

"I'm sorry." she leaned against the doorway.

"For what?" he arched an eyebrow in her direction.

"For kissing Heero, well, I'm not sorry for kissing him, I'm just sorry I got caught." she smiled and ran her hand through her hair.

"Gee what an apology." his attention went back to the cabinet.

"It's the best you're gonna get out of me. Oh and Wufei?" she paused before she left.

He turned to look at her. "What?"

"Just because you're dating him doesn't mean I'm gonna stop all my flirting." she flashed a sly smile his way and jetted out the door.

"More like molesting!" he yelled after her.

XXX

The first fifteen minutes were etched in silence as both Heero and Duo remind quiet. Duo watched as Heero leaned forward and turned on the radio. The nearest store was on the other side of town and Duo wasn't sure how long he could stand the lack of human communication.

"You told Trowa." it was statement.

Duo glanced over at Heero, "I hope you're not mad. He sort of wouldn't let me sleep till I told him."

"Heh, sounds like him."

"So you and Wufei are together I guess?"

"Yeah."

The atmosphere felt awkward. Duo wasn't quite sure if it was because Heero secretly still held a disliking toward him or not. But it was obvious that Trowa wanted his brother and him to bond. And he'd fight tooth and nail if he had to, in order to have a conversation with Heero. He chanced a glance at Heero and saw him staring out the window, chin resting on the palm of his hand watching the scenery quickly passing by. Somehow he had to get Heero to talk; Trowa wanted them to get closer, so he had to make a better attempt then usual. He turned his gaze back to the road.

"So, what's Wufei like? With all that was going on I haven't really gotten much time to get to know him." he glanced at Heero again and noticed the sudden change in his posture.

He opened his mouth, then quickly closed it. After a few seconds he started speaking. "He's an amazing person, really. He's sincere and passionate in everything that he does. Sometimes he might not be able to articulate the right words and rather acts instead of speaks." he paused momentarily and glanced at Duo.

"Like?" asked Duo encouragingly.

"Well, like when he first told me how he felt about me. Instead of just telling me, he let hints on like a kid would. Wufei is a lot more romantic than I thought he'd ever be. He even took me to the Heights."

"The Heights? Better not tell this story to your brother." said Duo laughing lightly as he turned right off the freeway.

"He told you about the Heights?" Heero briefly rolled his eyes "Anyways, like I was saying; he took me up there and we looked at the stars together. He even told me that the only person he could ever picture being up there with, was me."

"Aw how sweet." gushed Duo.

"Don't say it like that! It makes me feel like a four year old who just got pecked on the cheek by another kid."

"I think it's romantic." Duo parked the car and noticed the blush creeping up Heero's neck.

"Hn." he got out the car slamming the door behind him.

They went into the store and Heero pulled out the piece of paper Trowa had given to him. Duo pulled out a cart and pretty much pushed it at Heero who caught it and went down the aisles in search of the items on the list his brother had given him. Halfway through their journey Duo started to toss non-disclosed foods into the cart filling all empty space with: Ritz Crackers, canned cheese, multicolored marshmallows, and some Le Petite Écolier cookies. And Heero spent half his time trying to put the same items back.

"God how the hell do you stay so slim eating all that crap?" said Heero as he threw out the marshmallows.

"I've got no idea, but I'm not about to say I don't like it." he grabbed the marshmallows Heero'd just thrown out.

"Put that back where you got it, we're not buying it." Heero grabbed the bag.

"No way I love these things." said Duo as he grabbed the other end, trying to save them from the lonely wait on the store shelf. Both started tugging on the ends.

"Put it back." growled Heero.

"No, make me." Duo tugged harder on the bag and stuck his tongue out.

"Don't think I won't." both had moved to the front of the cart and tugged on their ends.

Consequently the poor little plastic bag couldn't take the pressure any longer and ripped. Marshmallows flew in every direction overhead and both Heero and Duo landed on the ground, bumping their heads against each others. Both boys started laughing uncontrollably, holding their heads where they'd hit one another.

"Maybe we should take off before they find the dead marshmallows." said Duo still laughing.

"Yeah, because there's no way I'm paying for something I didn't eat." Heero helped Duo up and both quickly made haste out of the isle.

XXX

Trowa was in the kitchen with Naima palming meat into hamburgers. She was the only sister of Quatre's that he'd ever met in his life. He'd seen Quatre's house and knew he didn't want to go into that huge home. It'd been a while since he'd last been in Naima's presence and although she was being nice; he couldn't help but feel that she was somewhat upset with him.

"Naima?" he placed a hamburger patty onto the tray in between them.

"What?" she grabbed more meat and mashed it together.

"Are you mad at me for some reason?" he briefly looked at her from the corner of his eye.

"What would ever make you think that?" said Naima lightly.

"I don't know, I'm getting a certain vibe from you."

"Oh my! The great Trowa is getting 'vibes' from me." she put down her hamburger meat.

"Ok now I know something's up. Please just tell what it is and save me the trouble of asking Quatre." he noticed the slight glare she was suddenly giving him.

"That's exactly what's up!" she ripped more meat out of the bowl at her side.

"Quatre?"

"Yes Quatre!" she seemed really upset.

"Oh. I'm sorry." he grabbed some more of the meat and started to form another hamburger.

"I know you already told him sorry and all, but, Quatre's my only little brother and I just want to make sure he's happy. And I'm determined to kick anyone's ass who hurts him in any way, shape, or form. But I'm willing to let this one pass because you've got more balls than I." a slight grin tugged her lips as she gently laughed.

"What do you mean?" Naima was definitely and oddity.

"At least you apologized to Quatre. I've yet to tell Heero I'm sorry for taking advantage of him."

"You what!"

"Quatre and Wufei were there so it wasn't as if I did anything 'too' illegal to him." she tried not to laugh at Trowa's expression.

"What did you do to him?" he asked cautiously.

"Nothing really." she shrugged. "Just an innocent peck on the lips. I don't see why it mattered so much to Heero to get Wufei out of the room either, it's not like he could have done anything to me."

"You highly underestimate Wufei."

"Eh well I don't really care. I got what I wanted and that's what matters!" she clenched a fist in front of her and then laughed as meat squished through her fingers. "That feels so nasty."

"That's because you're not supposed to grab it that hard."

"Well you could have warned me if you knew. Here you squeeze it, I wanna watch."

"Do I even wanna know what you two are doing in there?" came Heero's voice from behind the closed kitchen door.

"Nothing we haven't done together already!" said Trowa as Heero pushed the door open by his shoulder.

"Oh and here I thought you were doing something that might upset your boyfriend." smirked Heero.

"What about me?" came Duo's voice as he came in behind Heero.

"They're doing dirty things with Wufei's meat." said Heero placing down the three brown bags in his arms.

"Uhh……unneeded information really." said Duo shuddering. "I'd be worried if I was you Heero."

"What's with all the bags?"

Duo slung an arm around Heero and smiled. "He wuves me that's all."

"He kept throwing things into the cart. By the time we got to the register we had half the store in our cart." said Heero taking Duo's arm off of his shoulder.

"He's got a big appetite that's all." said Trowa shifting through the bags.

"Well that's an understatement." chimed Naima. "I wonder if that also applies to bedroom antics?"

"Naima!"

XXX

After they'd finished having their little barbeque at Wufei's, they went to the nearest Hollywood Video and rented some movies to watch and then retreated to Heero's and Trowa's house. Currently they were sitting in the living room watching a movie with the lights out. Duo and Trowa on the right side of the couch, Heero and Wufei were in front of the couch, the latter with his arms wrapped around the other. Quatre was on the left side of the couch and his sister on the large pillow in the middle of the room. Everyone was content for the time being, and then the door to the house opened.

"Aw crap." said Heero knowing exactly who'd it be.

"Oh god I'm so happy I don't have to have that talk with you two now." came their aunts voice.

"Uh not what I was expecting." said Trowa removing himself from Duo.

"What talk?" asked Heero arcing an eyebrow at her.

"Later dears, right now your aunt is going to take a long shower. Be back in three days." she disappeared down the hall and into her room.

Both Heero and Trowa eyed each other and then both of their eyes widened. "Ok time for everyone to go!"

"Can those who pretty much can guess what she's talking about stay?" asked Wufei standing up.

"Yeah." coursed Duo.

"No!" said both Trowa and Heero.

XXX

"What do you think was going on?" asked Quatre as he and his sister got into the car.

"Not sure, but I'm positive something in this diary will help." smiled Naima holding up said object.

"Who's and where did you get that?" asked Quatre taking it from her.

"Heero's and underneath his mattress." she grinned wide.

"When?" he opened it and noticed the small bio thing on the side.

"While I got up to use the bathroom halfway through the first movie."

"That is so evil. You have to take it back." said Quatre.

"Yeah later. What's it say?" asked Naima speeding up.

"Well there's a list of favorites. Like colors, food, shows, and also a list of friends. There's not that many."

"He needs a better social life." said Naima speeding up more.

"Why'd you grab it?" he flipped to the last written page.

"Well he told Trowa something personal about you, it's only fair you find out something personal about him, besides it's not like there's anything 'too' personal in there that he hasn't already told someone."

"Yeah, but don't you think that reading someone's diary is a little too, I don't know, insensitive?" he skimmed through the page and closed the book.

"Eh, not really."

XXX

"I don't see why we couldn't stay." said Duo taking Wufei home.

"I guess they just felt they needed to see this through by themselves like they usually do." said Wufei pointing Duo in the right direction.

"You've known them longer, what's Trowa's most favorite thing to eat?" asked Duo turning on the radio and jerking back at the loud music. "God is that how loud I had it?"

"Funny how you usually don't realize it until after you get back into the car. Anywho, Trowa's favorite thing to eat is actually grilled chicken and rice even though he swears it's chow mein and egg rolls. Why'd you wanna know?"

"Well I wanted to make us dinner one night and sit on the roof and watch the stars." Duo smiled quickly at Wufei.

"I take it Heero told you about the Heights?" asked Wufei changing the station.

"Yeah, I thought it was awfully romantic really. I figured that maybe I could do something similar with Trowa. To be honest I've never really been with someone before and kinda just take things as they go, but just to be sure I wasn't taking things too quickly I keep calling my friend."

"You use to live in LA right?"

"Yeah?"

"Isn't that expensive?" asked Wufei directing Duo left.

"Not really."

"Oh yeah forgot you're loaded. But if you ask me, this is the happiest I've ever seen Trowa. Usually he seems a bit, how do you say it? Exhausted. I'm not trying to blame it on Heero. He's a lot more insecure than he actually lets on to anyone. And I think that worries Trowa."

"It does. He's told me that he wants to make Heero happy no matter what. That Heero's all he's got left of his family and that he'll do what ever it takes to keep him smiling. Even if…..well, you know-" Duo turned into the driveway.

"Yeah. For the longest time I thought that the both of them would never break apart. Not that I necessarily wanted them to split, but I just wanted a chance to be the one to make Heero smile and feel loved and wanted." Wufei got out of the car.

"Hey? When did you find out about them?" asked Duo leaning over a bit to stare at Wufei.

"I sort of figured it out around seventh grade. But I'm not about to tell Heero that I found them making out while on my way to the bathroom." laughed Wufei.

XXX

Trowa and Heero were sitting quietly on the living room couch, both on either side. Every few minutes they'd stare in the direction of the hallway. Their aunt had yet to remake an appearance. Both boys dreaded what their aunt had to say to them, but at the same time wondered how she'd even found out.

Noise came from down the hall. "Ah that was a wonderful shower. Gee you two you look like you both just got caught stealing a car or something. It's not as bad as you think it is."

"How'd you know?" asked Heero shifting slightly.

"If you two think you're that quiet at night, you're not." she laughed lightly and sat down between them.

"Oh god." said Trowa feeling his face heat up.

"Even right before I left, I had seen the both of you jump apart so fast I had to keep myself from laughing." she wrapped her arms around both of them.

"Why didn't you say something before?" asked Heero leaning against her.

"Because I thought that if I left it alone you'd both grow out of it. I guess I felt that it was just something the two of you could only help one another with. Granted when I first found out I wanted to stop it immediately, I even read ten times more parenting books and when I couldn't find anything on what was going on- I just decided to let it play out."

"Do you think our parents would be disappointed by us?" asked Trowa closing his eyes.

"I don't think so. A bit freaked out maybe, but not disappointed. You guys could never disappoint them, ever. The both of you were their life. They'd do anything to ensure your happiness. Just like I would." she hugged them.

"Thanks Aunt Carmon."

That night while Heero went into his room and turned on the light he knew……….things were finally how they were supposed to be. He walked over to his window and closed it, effectively shutting out the cold night air. Lying down on his bed he inhaled the scent on his blankets and pillows. They still faintly smelled like Trowa. Briefly a smiled graced his features.

His hand reached underneath his mattress and searched out the soft hard cover of his diary. When he couldn't find it he immediately jumped off his bed and pulled his mattress onto the floor. Suddenly he started frantically pulling open drawers and in seconds his room was a complete mess. Quickly he left his room and went into Trowa's.

"Trowa I can't find my diary!" Trowa jolted off his mattress and onto the floor.

"What's wrong! The house on fire?" he got up and picked up his sheets.

"My diary is missing Trowa. I can't find it anywhere!" Heero looked on the verge of tears.

"I'm sure you just misplaced it. I'll help you look in the morning, 'k. And since I'm sure you tore you room apart you can sleep with me tonight." Trowa wrapped his blankets around Heero's shoulders and left the room to turn out Heero's lights. When he came back in, he turned out his lights and crawled into the bed next to his brother and fell asleep.

XXX

Quatre and Naima had been taking turns reading Heero's diary and needless to say they hadn't quite expected to read the things that were written there. Quatre knew he'd felt bad before, but now he felt immensely bad. Secretly reading all of Heero's, his best friends, most personal and private thoughts. Heero held a lot more in then he'd ever imagined. It was like Heero was too afraid to let anyone know exactly how he really felt. You could tell he'd cried why writing a few pages because some of the words had run together.

"………I was so completely mortified when it happened, but being with Wufei like that in the end, more than completely made up for it. I still don't completely comprehend why he loves me, but I guess you can't fight who you fall in love with." Naima turned the page and handed it to Quatre.

"I still can't believe he and Trowa-" said Quatre taking the diary.

"I know." she took drink of her water.

"Maybe we should stop reading." Quatre placed it face down on his bed.

"Why? I think we read most the of the things we didn't know about him." Naima picked up the diary again.

"Naima put it down now."

"No. Now just shut up and listen."

"Naima." he sighed and just gave up.

"Last night while Wufei was sleeping, god I hope he was sleeping, I kissed him. Well to be honest I did a little more than just kiss him. I couldn't help it, I was too curious……..um ok yeah maybe you're right we'll stop. In fact I'll take you to his house right now so that you can give it back to him." she jumped off the bed and grabbed her keys.

"Why do I have to give it to him, you're the one who took it?" said Quatre following her.

"Urg….fine I'll give it back to him, but you're coming with me damnit!"

XXX

When he'd heard knocking on the window Heero thought he was dreaming, but when it didn't stop he finally figured out it wasn't just a dream. Getting up he walked over to the window and pulled out the curtains. His eyes widened when he caught sight of Quatre and his sister Naima. Naima had something behind her back and Quatre had a look of worry and guilt written on his features.

He opened the window. "What are you guys doing here so late."

"Who is it Heero?" came Trowa's sleep written voice.

"Just Naima and Quatre, go back to sleep." whispered Heero.

"Hope we weren't interrupting anything." said Naima trying to keep a smile off her face.

"Naima watch your tongue! You came here for a reason remember!" hissed Quatre.

"What reason?" asked Heero leaning against the window pane.

"Love the shorts 'Ro."

"Naima, if you're not going to tell me than leave ok." he was about to close the window when Naima finally spoke.

"I took your diary Heero."

"You what!" he accidentally let go of the window and it shut on his fingers. "Fuck!"

"But you can't be that mad at me, Quatre read it too!" said Naima trying to take some of the blame of her.

"You guys read it, how could you!" he looked distraught.

"I told Naima to give it back!" pleaded Quatre.

"But that doesn't change the fact that you both read it!" Heero leaned out of the window.

"Here." said Naima handing it to Heero.

Quickly he took it. "See you guys later." and he simply shut the window.

XXX

One week later, Lunch at Valley High

Duo had his arms around Trowa, Quatre was trying to get a cat out of the tree, Heero was in the tree trying to help Quatre get the cat, and Wufei was taking pictures. After a thorough talking to with Quatre and his sister Heero finally forgave them. Naima kept asking if they'd ever taken pictures of their escapades and Trowa had to keep hiding things from her. (i.e. pictures)

"Heero you're gonna get scratched just leave it alone, the both of you actually." called Trowa.

"But it's so cute Trowa, how can we not want to pet it." Quatre tried jumping up to the nearest branch and missed consequently landing on his end.

"Heh, next time just grab a bench." said Wufei content with the fact that he'd gotten it on film.

A small bell rang, "Tali come here!"

The small fluffy cat expertly came down the tree and ran into the arms of its owner. A few months later Heero'd find out that Toné had had a crush on him. As flattering as it was, they'd just agree to be friends and Wufei was constantly tossing Toné off on Quatre. Eventually they ended up dating, and even though they constantly fight and get back together they're happy. Duo and Trowa mostly spend their time watching the rest of their group making fools of themselves. And even occasionally the both of them join in on the enigmatic wave of fun and have gotten themselves into more trouble than the rest of their group somehow.

Days seem to constantly melt into the hour glass and time spent learning to live and let go will carry on until the end. No matter who you are and who you're with you'll learn new things about yourself and the one's you love. Sometimes things may seem to get out of hand and hectic, but it's always just a small step in this journey of discovering all parts of who you are. Because somewhere in between insanity and love lies affection…….

XXX

A/N: well that's a wrap! I hope it was enjoyable. I'd much like to apologize because this would have been out a lot sooner, but I sorta, kinda, forgot to save it non too long ago and of course had to start all over again. Don't hate me. I've made up for it in words really I have, this was the longest chpt.

Ya know, I try not to show it, but I really dislike Quatre. In fact when writing Shinigami's Bible, the person who was Trowa's friend in chpt six, I'd pictured it was Quatre.

To Me Readers!

I'd like to thank the following for sticking through to the end

Jenihenpen

HeeroDuo4eva

Jack Scarlett

And of course the new person, darksaphire

Your reviews are what fuel my creativity. Without you I'd be nothing!

Ps. If you haven't read it yet go and do it, I'm talking about It's A Long Way Out, now shoo, go now ya hear! And leave a Review on your way out, please.