Shadows Before Dawn
Epilogue to 'Shadow of Two Gunmen'
AriesOkey-doke- this is my first West-Wing fanfic so please don't flame me out of it!
Authors Note: I've only seen to about halfway through Season Two, so some of my stuff may be wrong. Several other people's fanfics seem to agree about an elder sibling of Josh's dying in a house fire. Whether this is later canon or just coincidence I don't know. If it's accepted canon from a later season than grand. If I'm inadvertently hopping on someone else's bandwagon then sorry- no copying intended!
Disclaimer:Apart from that- look, you're fanficcers- you know the drill with the Disclaimer. Do I really have to? pouts oh all right then.
Ahem:
"Hail insert company here without whom us lowly fanfic writers would have naught to write about! Long may you keep (and hire out) the characters of insert TV series here ! I make no permanent claim on them sniff insert depressed whimper of choice here "
On with the Show!
Drums roll and theme tune which sounds suspiciously like the Birds-Eye Country Ad plays
C.J:
Someone grabbed me from behind and threw me into someone else when the shooting started. The second person, behind me, flung both themself and me to the ground. I couldn't even save myself from cracking my head on the tarmac- disoriented by the shooting above me, and the impromptu game of table tennis in which I was the ball.
The crack of my head on the hard surface nearly made me throw up and I felt a few tears of shock at the sudden pain fly out. The window above, where my head had been only a second before, shattered explosively outwards as a stray bullet whizzed into the ground nearby. We lay behind the car for eternity, waiting for the shooting to stop. We'd been fairly lucky as to being there- a few seconds before and both myself and my over-enthusiastic rescuer would have been right out in the open…I could see the Secret Service men firing upwards at the building across the road. Suddenly it all stopped and the world was no longer full of those earth-shattering reports. I made to get up but was pulled down again by someone- a Secret Service guy.
"It's not safe yet Ma'am. Wait till they give the all-clear!"
But they weren't giving it. I could hear sounds filtering back into my mind again. Screaming. Shouting. A mans voice crying;
"We've got people down! People down! Who's been hit? Who's been hit!
Josh;
How the hell had I gotten over here! I knew I was on the wrong side of the grill when the bullets started flying. I saw Sam and CJ go down; due to a tackle from Sam that would have a brought a professional linebacker no shame. The President and Zoey had been bodily thrown into cars but it looked like the President had been hit? Where was Toby?- nearby! He was on the ground on the other side of the railings and was in serious danger of being trampled! I started pushing my way through the panicking, stampeding crowd to him but was quickly being dragged back along by the tide. A man cannonballed into me, rebounded and ran off without even looking at me. I paused for that crucial millisecond trying to get my balance when it happened. What felt like a punch in the chest made me stumble back a few steps with all the wind knocked out of me. I grabbed where I'd been hit reflexively. It was wet. I looked down at my hand and it was red.
The shooting had stopped. Josh didn't even notice. Suddenly there was a guy beside him who looked shocky and pale as a sheet.
"Hey man, you ok?" he blurted without really looking at Josh. "Here- you'd better sit down, man- you look like your goin' to fall over…" He half-led, half-pulled Josh up the steps and sat him down slightly behind the pillar in case there was more shooting. Man- this guy was really out of it- guess it just affected some people more then others. With his good deed done, he headed back down the steps to see if there was anything else he could do.
Sam:
Oh, I hope CJ didn't notice that it was me that gave her that goose-egg-to-be on her head…
I knew I was standing like a fool when the first shot rang out. Then someone moving past grabbed CJ who was standing exposed beside the car and flung her behind it. I finally realized that this was real then, and did the first useful thing that entered my brain by making a flying tackle at CJ and landing us both down behind the car right before an exploding window had showered us with glittering shards of 'bulletproof'. It was all over in less than ten seconds and as soon it was safe I found myself over across the road, wondering what the hell had just happened. I looked down, feeling a tight pressure-line cutting into my hand. There was a thin gold chain wrapped around it and I wondered how it had gotten there. I slipped it into my pocket- just another puzzle to figure out later. Glancing behind me, I saw CJ, looking dazed and holding her head. There was a thin trickle of blood at her hairline and with mounting concern I went over to make sure she hadn't been hit.
"CJ- You okay?"
"I'm…fine. What's happening?"
"Well- they've put Leo in a car." I paused- not really sure myself what was happening or even what had happened. It was with a certain sense of relief that I saw Toby approaching then- and I must confess that it wasn't only that I was glad Toby had survived either!
"Josh?" Toby was calling. I felt relief vanish again. Josh! That was the only one I hadn't seen.
"Toby?- what's wrong?" cried back CJ, still dabbing at the bleeding cut.
"Did you see where Josh was before…?" I started to ask CJ before I heard Toby shout half crossly:
"Josh!- Didn't you hear me shouting for you?"
Thank- God. Everyone was okay. It was over.
Toby:
I'd counted up the people I could see- the President seemed ok- the Secret Service had whipped him and Zoey out within seconds thank God. There was C.J.-shaken, and with blood on her head but relatively unharmed. Sam had grabbed her when the shooting started and both of them had gone down pretty hard. Charlie was ok. Leo was…there he was being pushed into a car. He didn't look particularly happy about going- at least until he'd verified everyone's health. Well, anyone giving the Secret Service that much grief was probably okay. For the moment. That left- where the hell was Josh?
"Josh? Josh! Has anyone seen Josh?" I shouted to the people nearest receiving mainly blank looks in return. He wasn't where he'd been the last time I had seen him- but then no one was. The few seconds in which the shooting had taken place had seemed to last a lifetime, but when it was suddenly quiet again it seemed like it had been on fast-forward and everyone had been moved around.
"Charlie!" as I nearly collided with the young man. "Have you seen Josh?"
"Yeah- they put him in a car with Leo-"
"No, No- they put Shanahan in the car. Josh didn't get into a car" Shit- where was he? Had he still been inside when- no he had been right behind C.J. Hang on- he had gotten separated hadn't he? I thought I remembered seeing him up against the railings trying to do something.
"Toby?- what's wrong?" cried back CJ, her eyes still slightly unfocussed. She really had gone down hard. Sam was standing beside her but saying nothing useful.
"Have you seen Josh?" I shouted back before trailing off as I saw Josh leaning with his back to me, down behind a low wall. I walked towards it moving faster with a sense of relief.
"Josh! Didn't you hear me shouting for you? I didn't know where the hell you were…" It took me a couple of dumb seconds to take in what I saw.
Josh was there; staring up at me with the half-glazed eyes of someone in shock. The second thing I noticed was that Josh was clutching his shirt where a dark red splotch was oozing its way outwards through his fingers.
"Oh G… I need…I need a doctor over here now!" I shouted, only managing to get my voice to an appropriate level on the second try. Josh's eyes had lost whatever sense had been in there as they glazed over completely and he slumped sideways down the wall- with my only just catching him before he hit the ground.
Josh:
What… there was… shooting? Trapped!.. behind the rail…trying to… what? Get out? Get to something? Someone? The President- they'd been shooting at the President! And then that moment of shock and I was pushed violently backwards. I'd been hit? A burning sensation- all up my side. I looked down and noticed a red stain creeping out on my new shirt. Damn- another one gone. I dimly registered that the shooting had stopped and then silence. The wall! There had been someone- someone had put me here? I couldn't move- didn't even feel myself slide against the low white wall. I tried to grab the unhelpful object to stop myself falling but only succeeding in marking it with a red streak. In the distance I thought I could hear a vaguely familiar voice shouting "Josh!" but couldn't respond. Didn't even feel the need to. Didn't actually feel anything except the sticky warmth of blood throbbing out of the bullet wound. I'd been shot. I couldn't think properly. All I felt was the fear that I couldn't move and I wouldn't be found. I wasn't scared of dying per se. What I was scared of was that I was going to die alone, on this warm night, propped up against a wall just watching the blood flow out of me. I felt a shadow fall across me. The owner of the voice from earlier was there- still talking.
"Oh my G… I need…I need a doctor over here now!" But I couldn't see why. It was okay- I wasn't going to have to die alone after all. I slid into blackness…
C.J:
"Josh! Didn't you hear me shouting for you? I didn't know where the hell you were…"
I heard the voice and relaxed-that was everyone now, wasn't it? Now I looked to where Toby was heading, I could see Josh's shoulder and the distinctive hair half around the corner of the wall. I turned back to Sam.
"Nice to know someone had somewhere to hide" I said snippily. It sounded cruel- it was cruel. Josh wasn't a coward. But the fact remained that he'd been safe while our lives had been in danger. It wasn't fair though, and the next moment I could have bitten my tongue off. I saw Sam's face. He was still staring over my shoulder at Toby and Josh.
"Oh my G… I need…I need a doctor over here now!" Toby's voice froze me solid for a second before I spun back again just in time to see Josh slip down the wall and into my line of sight. He was unconscious or… Toby had caught him- moving with a speed I never knew he had. He managed to keep Josh's head from hitting the ground anyway- but from the pallor of Josh's face I feared it might be too late to worry about that. I was already halfway up the steps- Sam a millimeter behind. I froze again as I saw the blood- Oh God, no- he'd been hit. I was no doctor but even I knew that the little bubbles of red foam on his lips and nose were bad signs- possibly a punctured lung. Sam was on his knees staring at his friend.
"We need a doctor!" I shouted at the top of my voice, considerable from my years holding press conferences, causing most people to look around. A paramedic took one look at Josh and started waving an ambulance over to the steps.
"Stand back please!" said a medic as they reached us. Except for Toby who was still holding Josh's head, we moved back as two medics did a quick examination, slitting open the destroyed shirt to see the damage. I saw the damage from where I was standing. Oh God. That tiny piece of metal. How could it do so much damage? There was blood…too much blood. It contrasted sharply with the papery face above it.
"Backboard and stretcher!" one of the medics shouted to the other two in the ambulance.
"Single gunshot wound, hemorrhaging-probably the pulmonary artery and a possible punctured lung" he called down as they raced up the steps with the equipment.
"One, two, three!" as they lifted Josh and secured him into the portable immobility-board.
"I'm sorry- you'll have to follow on behind" said the paramedic as they put Josh into the ambulance. A half-second later they were gone, sirens screaming into the night.
Sam:
Oh God… Josh was… no, no he wasn't dead- or there wouldn't have been the emergency. Would they be so quick if it were absolutely hopeless? Surely there must be a chance. But there had been so much blood ...all over the place. Even on the wall where he had been leaning. I stared at the innocent-looking red mark on the white background and didn't feel Toby pulling on my arm.
"Come on, Sam. We're following on."
I lurched back down the steps without really seeing where I was going and was only just snapping out of it as we reached Charlie.
"What's going on? Was someone hit?" he asked.
"Charlie- Josh was shot. The ambulance has him. We're following on now." said CJ, hurrying past towards the nearest car.
I don't know how she was suddenly behind the wheel or how she'd gotten the keys but the four of us were in now and CJ was pulling out past the cordons. She had to shout an explanation to a Secret Serviceman who really didn't want us to leave but he hadn't much choice when it looked like she was about to motor him. I don't know who else could have grabbed a Secret Service car and gotten us out of the scene of an attempted assassination so fast but that's CJ for you. She's an extraordinary woman.
We were finally out on the road and speeding to the hospital in silence. I looked at my hands and saw some of Josh's blood still on them. I stared at the sticky red liquid -already congealing- in fascination before coming to myself slightly and rubbing it off shakily onto my trousers. Glancing over at Toby, I could see that Toby had noticed his own crimson hands. He was scrubbing them jerkily, reflexively against his trouser leg, not seeing what he was doing. I leaned over and touched his arm. Toby looked up and stopped. His hands were still red- but from rubbing rather then blood.
"What…how did…who found him? What happened?" asked Charlie into the tense silence.
"I found him." said Toby quietly, emotionlessly. "He was leaning against the wall…and I thought…I thought he was okay but… he was clutching his chest- there was blood…" He lapsed back into silence.
"Hey, there was nothing else you could have done, Toby," said CJ into the rearview mirror. "You caught him before he could fall- got the paramedics over- got us over…You did good, Toby."
We sat in tense muteness until we pulled up in front of the hospital, CJ skidding into the nearest space; near to the door where they were still unloading a gurney.
I swung the door open before we'd even fully stopped and dived towards the ambulance, followed swiftly by CJ, Toby and Charlie. We followed the gurney as it sped through the doors and into the anti-septic sterility of the hospital.
"Gunshot wound, no exit! Decreased breath sounds on left. Pulse at…"
It wasn't going to be okay.
Leo:
They got me to the hospital within about five minutes so I could talk to the President before they put him under. How did everything go to hell so damn fast? Thank God the President was okay. Thank God I could at least tell him that everyone else was okay too.
"It's okay, Gina" I told the girl, who was standing, miserable, halfway between the Presidents room and the main doors. She had done well out there. Her warning probably saved some lives. But she wouldn't see it that way. The President had been hit- she had failed. No-one could have done more then Gina Toscano at the time and I decided that when we had the time I was going to sit the girl down and make her see that it wasn't her fault. But for now, I was too tired. Thank God no-one else was badly hurt.
Suddenly a klaxon shrieked by our ears- emergency! No…oh please no… We spun to the door just as a crowd of people with a gurney flew in. I recognized…
"It's Josh!" CJ shouted to me.
Oh hell, no… "What happened?"
"I don't know, he was behind us…" Toby, from behind CJ, replied dully.
The paramedics were shouting to each other ignoring us civilians as they handed Josh over.
"Single gunshot wound- entry, fifth intercostal space. Possible punctured lung…"
Josh chose this moment to wake up, of course. Always did have a flair for the dramatic, Josh Lyman.
" No, I shouldn't be at this meeting…"
Too right you shouldn't. No-one should be at this meeting…
"Trauma 1 ready! Get a needle, chest tube…"
"Pulse ox 88!"
"Got to get to New Hampshire!" I didn't know what the agitated cry meant until Sam leaned over him saying, "Josh, you went to New Hampshire. We both did. You came and got me"
I remembered what Josh meant now- flashbacks of three years ago. It looked like Josh, delirious with pain and shock as he was, did understand Sam because he suddenly relaxed.
"Josh, a bullet collapsed your lung. We're putting in at tube to reinflate it"
I don't know what they did next although I don't think it was in any way pleasant for Josh. Next thing I knew we'd been shepherded into a waiting room and left there. No news- they didn't have any to give us…
Toby:
Well, that was it for a few minutes. We sat there. Waited. After about ten minutes a tall guy in a suit entered.
"Excuse me- Are any of you a next-of-kin to Joshua Lyman?"
Everyone's heads snapped up, paling as we all jumped to the obvious bad conclusion.
"Is Josh…" started CJ unable to finish the sentence. No-one else had even been able to start it.
"Oh, no, no…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to suggest-no." said the flustered official. "But we need to do an emergency procedure to reinflate his lung and repair the internal damage. At the moment it's a risky procedure and we need to inform his family- his next-of-kin?"
"Uh… he has…" I looked helplessly back at CJ who looked just as clueless. We'd worked with the guy for- what- 6 years and didn't know about his family?
"I am." said Sam, to everyone's surprise. " His…parents…brother- immediate family are dead, and he has no other contactable family"
"Very well-" replied the official. " If you could just come with me a moment Mr…"
"Seaborn" Sam filled in, getting up and following the man out.
"Seaborn- we have some forms we need you to fill out, please"
"I didn't know he had a brother," said CJ quietly before silence fell once more.
Donna:
All my life I have been teased about how long it takes me to get ready and out of the house. But this time, from the moment I saw the news on the t.v. to leaving the building, not 4 minutes had gone past, I'm sure. Mrs. Landingham had seen my face as I dashed down the hall.
"Donna? Are you going to the hospital now?" I nodded, irrationally furious with her for holding me up even a second. Something bad had happened- even worse then what I already knew.
"I'm coming then, dear, if you don't mind." She already had her coat over her arm. It was quite clear that I didn't really have a choice in the matter. Not that I'd have said no to her. We flew down the steps outside without speaking to each other and I barely waited till she had settled before getting us on the move. I swung out of the carpark automatically without thinking of the direction.
"Donnatella! Think which way your going or I'll drive" said Mrs. Landingham sternly but not unkindly. I snapped out of it and realized I'd turned right for home instead of left, which would bring me into the city. I looked into my rearview mirror before pulling off a precision move with speed, panache and a total disregard for the road-laws, some of which my boss had had a hand in drafting.
The President- shot? And the others?- CJ, Josh, Sam, Toby, Charlie? The questions buzzed through my head as I sped to the hospital keeping exactly on the speedlimit. Being pulled over for speeding would not have improved our chances of getting to the hospital tonight. Plus, if I didn't, Mrs. Landingham might just carry out her threat. She's a dear but she would rightly object to me getting us both arrested or even killed just because I (was terrified that there was more to the situation then I'd been told) was trying to get us to the hospital in time…( in time for what? WHAT IS GOING ON? What is it I don't know? Or am I just cracking up?)
My cellphone rang and I nearly made the car leap off the road.
"Mrs. Landingham- could you please answer that for me?" I asked, nodding towards my bag under her feet. I didn't like phoning and driving at the best of times. To do so now would probably end in disaster.
"Donna Moss' phone. Can I help you?" the secretary in her automatically added on. I half-smiled. I'd done the same thing a few times, leading to the ridicule of my family in a couple of them.
"I understand- We're on our way right now. We'll be there in a few minutes, CJ. Donna's driving"
She hung up. Her face looked, if possible, even grimmer then it had before.
"That was CJ, dear. She said for you to come to the hospital. Now." I should have picked up on the subtext. But I was too busy feeling suddenly stupid. Why had I just run out of the White House and to the hospital when I heard that the President had been injured? Not that I wasn't worried about him- we all were. But there were others much closer to him- he had those closest with him. So why had I flung everything down in a most unprofessional way to drive to the hospital? Why had I been in such a hurry that I was on the verge of breaking the speed limits and certainly infuriating every other car on the road? Because… (because you know something else is wrong. There's something you haven't been told. I should be able to guess it. But I can't!)
"Donna, there's the exit. Turn right here. Right!" I swerved into the road Mrs. Landingham had pointed out without even indicating. I had been lost again in my ruminating and not concentrating. The cars behind me hooted their displeasure and I felt like rolling down the window and signing exactly what they could do with their hooting. Somehow, though, I didn't feel it was entirely appropriate- not with Mrs. Landingham in the car anyway.
We pulled into the first empty space we found- well, the second space. The first space was for disabled parkers only and no matter how frantic I was, I didn't really want to take it. I drove straight past it, and, although she didn't say anything, I could feel a slight glow of approval from her. I'm sorry to say though, that I left her behind when we got out. I tried to stay with her but my feet were jittery with impatience and I found myself walking two steps and throwing in a jumping twitch of a step for a third. Mrs. Landingham looked at me with a mixture of tolerance and worry and said kindly;
"Run on ahead, Donna. I'm following." Almost before she'd finished I was off like an Olympic medallist runner.
I held my card with the capital 'A' emblazoned on it as I dashed through the corridors to A & E. It got me almost to the doors before I was stopped.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, this is authorized personnel only through here" a tall Secret Serviceman said professionally, standing in front of the entrance.
"Please, I work at the White House- I'm the Deputy Chief of Staff's Assistant" I tried desperately. I didn't know why, but I knew I had to go through those doors.
He looked at me again. "Josh Lyman's assistant?" he asked. Those words and the way he said them should have alerted me, but I was too euphoric at his waving me through to think properly. I did think that Josh would be unbearable if he found out that just his name had gotten me through, though. I dashed through and into a little waiting room at the end of a corridor where CJ, Toby, Sam and Charlie were sitting, each doing variants of nothing. Toby was sitting on his own staring at his hands and occasionally rubbing at them. Sam was holding his folder and staring at one of the pages. I don't think he even noticed that it was upside down. Charlie was fidgeting. CJ … was just sitting. They looked up as I came in. I suddenly felt like an idiot for even being here. I stumbled. I babbled.
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry- they told me…to come back here…?" I saw Sam and CJ glance at each other then away again. The bad vibes were back.
"Is there…word on the President?" I faltered, sure that this was why the panic.
"The President's going to be fine, Donna." said CJ tiredly. She looked like she was going to say more but didn't. Silence fell. I filled it.
"Oh, that's great- that's the best news I ever…that's wond… It's just, I didn't know anything…" I babbled.
"-Donna-" spoke up Toby so quietly, but effectively shutting me up.
"Donna- Josh was hit." I was floored. My brain flashed warning signals but I couldn't think. Hit?
"I-don't understand…hit by what?" I asked dumbly.
"He was shot. In the chest" said CJ, finally looking at me. "He's in surgery right now"
"I…don't understand…"
C.J:
She knew what we meant but it wasn't sinking in. Not that I was surprised. I was there and it wasn't sinking in. I felt so cruel saying those words to Donna. But I was treacherously glad it wasn't me saying those next words.
"Is…is it serious?" came the inevitable, horrible question.
"It's critical. The bullet collapsed his lung and damaged a major artery. They're doing emergency surgery now."
Donna's hand had flown to her mouth. I wondered in a detached way why so many women did that in moments of shock or surprise. Her face had paled even more then usual and her eyes were huge. She reminded me a bit of how Josh had looked in those seconds of consciousness when he made those few delirious attempts at speech. Donna sat down limply still clutching her mouth. I leaned over and rubbed her back comfortingly. At least, I hope it was.
The door opened then and Abbey Bartlett walked into the room. She greeted us in a muted fashion before going to business.
"The President's fine" she confirmed. "The bullet seems to have gone out of its way not to hit anything" I glanced over at the others to see how they were taking it. A sense of relief had pervaded the room. Surely if one was okay the other would be too? The brief moment of gladness dissipated again as Abbey closed the door behind her.
"Now, here's the situation with Josh. His bullet wasn't nearly so benign- it hit him in the chest, lacerated the pulmonary artery and punctured his left lung, which collapsed. The bullet's still in there which doesn't help matters."
"So, what are they going to do?" I asked when Abbey paused for moment to collect her wits. I knew what she'd said was bad and from the looks on everyone else's faces I knew they knew too. Abbey paused and cleared her throat.
"Sometimes they'd use Gore-Tex for something like this which is like a sort of…" she trailed off, trying to think of the words non-meds would know.
"Organic plaster?" put in Toby dryly. There are times I swear when I don't understand that mans sense of humour.
"Something like that, yes. But in this case the bullet simply did too much damage. They're doing an open operation now to try fix things primarily…"
"What are his chances?" Sam asked the question we had all avoided.
Abbey looked at him seriously. "They're not that great, Sam. He lost a lot of blood from the wound and was deeply in shock. At the moment it's touch-and-go. I'm sorry Sam- but they're not very optimistic."
At that moment I hated Abbey for saying those horrible, hurtful words that somehow condemned Josh to death without giving us any hope. I hated Sam for asking, Toby for not finding Josh sooner, Leo for being shoved out of there in that car without even knowing that Josh was hurt. In that moment I even hated Josh for putting us in this position, Josh, who was on an operating table now- possibly dying. Possibly already dead. And I hated myself for those cruel, thoughtless words of earlier.
Nice to know someone had a place to hide
I glanced across at Sam. Did he remember? Had he even heard? He caught my glance and I knew he had, and, while he understood it was just shock and stress talking, had not quite forgiven me yet. I couldn't blame him.
Mrs. Landingham had entered sometime during the conversation and was listening gravely, sitting beside Donna. She seemed to be taking it all in her stride. She'd lost two sons to enemy bullets- after enough times you learn, perhaps to just listen and accept those things you cannot change. But I knew why she was here. She'd told me once that Josh and Sam reminded her of her own two sons- one brash, clever, loud, laughing, kind and always looking out for his brother, the other quieter, intelligent and always there to help bail his brother out of the trouble his mouth invariably got him into. I almost smiled at the comparison until I remembered that the luck of Mrs. Landinghams boys had run out. That there was no way that Sam, or any of us could bail Josh out of the trouble he was in now.
Toby:
Leo had left, of course. With the President temporarily incapacitated, he had to meet the Leadership and try sort things out. I'm glad I'm not the C.o.S. Some suit had come in and basically told us that we might as well leave- we were cluttering the place up. Of course he didn't put it quite like that… We all knew we had jobs we should be doing but no-one wanted to go- and no-one wanted to be the one to make the first move. It fell to Sam who passed a piece of paper to CJ. She nodded.
"Leo should be finished the meeting with the Leadership. After, I'm going to have to do the Press Conference, so I better go."
"And I'm going to go to the Residences- pick up a couple of things for the President." muttered Charlie, particularly subdued. That just left myself, the shell-shocked Donna, Mrs. Landingham and Sam. Donna wasn't going to leave. Sam was Josh's best friend- he didn't want to leave but knew he'd probably have to. Mrs. Landingham…would do her own thing and I knew I'd have to leave soon too. I caught Sam's eye and glanced towards Donna. Mrs. Landingham spotted us, and the circle of conspirators widened. Without saying a word we had agreed that Donna wouldn't be left on her vigil alone. I was first to go. But I would be back later, I knew.
Leo:
What now? I had met with the Leadership and we had confirmed…something. Hell, who was I kidding- I was flying by the seat of my pants, not even knowing who, technically was in charge.
Poor CJ, in that press briefing. I've never seen her like that. One thing about Claudia Jean Cregg is that she's always master of a situation. Can verbally turn on a dime and thinks very quickly. It's what makes her such a good Press Secretary. I shouldn't have let her out there- she was confused, disoriented and only had a vestige of her normal cool, often snarky mask she wears when she's out sparring with the Press.
The 25th Amendment. Trust Danny Concannon to pick up on that one. That would have been difficult enough to deal with normally, let alone in CJ's state. At least she reconfirmed that the Presidents' wound is only relatively superficial and that he'll be back in soon. Thank-you God. It was way too difficult trying to talk to the Leadership when no-one was even sure of who's in charge.
"It doesn't confirm it"
"Of course- this being a point on which to have as much confusion as possible." I snapped back from my musing in time to hear this sarky little gem delivered. Well, if CJ's defensive iron shell of snarkiness had disappeared, Toby's had possibly redoubled.
"Yeah" Hell- had I said that out loud? Oh no, she was just confirming Toby's comment. Toby, lets try not to piss off too much of the Leadership-the Secretary of Defense would be a good start. She left and I sat down. Toby was still leaning against the wall and CJ turned for the door.
"I'm going back to the hospital" she muttered. I could tell she was embarrassed about the Press Briefing but I just didn't have the energy to go into it right now.
"Yeah. I'll be there in a while."
Yeah. The Press Briefing and talking properly to Gina Toscano- making her understand that it wasn't her fault weren't the only things I'd been avoiding. I wasn't too worried about Jed. His wound wasn't severe- he'd been extremely lucky apparently. At least I wasn't to have to mourn the loss of the man who's been my best friend for many years. Best friend and current leader. And for that- I was grateful.
But the son of another good friend was lying in a hospital bed- no, on an operating table. When Noah had died and Josh left the Illinois primaries so quietly- no-one had known until when about five minutes afterward Sam had come back into the room and asked, "Where's Josh?" It was really strange that we hadn't noticed. Only a few minutes ago he'd been bouncing around hugging people like the rest of us- his enthusiasm catching. Now that we looked around- that he wasn't there the room seemed emptier. And it was strange. Donna was standing in the middle of it all with a look on her face as if she were about to cry. Her mouth opened and closed and I could tell that whatever happened she didn't really want to blurt it out to a roomful of people. CJ had moved over to her and guided her into an office to talk to her privately. Sam followed them and after a moment's hesitation so did I. Three minutes later when we were back outside again, Jed noticed.
"Isn't there someone missing?" he asked. Jed, despite the name problem, does notice these things.
"Yeah. Josh's father just died. Josh found out and left about five minutes ago. Donna said he'll get the first flight out- it leaves in about forty minutes." And Jed went after him. The funny thing was that it was right after Jed's talking to Josh in the airport that he realized he was ready to go on with the show. His nerves had seen that there were so much worse things that could happen and left him alone. I sometimes feel that I should've gone- but who needed me more- my dead friend Noah or my live friend Jed. Jed needed me at that time and I couldn't leave. But I still felt that I'd failed both Noah and Josh. And I told Noah then that I would try and keep an eye out for his son when I could. Tonight- I'd failed again.
To hell with this- I was going to the hospital.
Donna:
So we sat there. People had to leave during the night- CJ, Toby, even Sam occasionally, but they always came back. How couldn't we? Even Charlie, who doesn't know Josh as well as the rest of us, came back.
I just sat there. At about 3.30 AM I finally plucked up the courage to go see him. I got up without talking to anyone and walked out of the room. I didn't stop on my way up that corridor- that hundred –mile long corridor. If I did stop- I knew I would just turn and walk right back. How do I manage to pick the moment- exactly the wrong bloody moment? I was standing outside the big plate- glass window of the operating room when it looked like Josh was coming round- during the procedure. I saw one of the surgeons lean over and tap the machine that was reading blood- pressure and heart rate- to make sure it was working right I guess because suddenly it was working overtime. That little green lifeline suddenly started jerking around as Josh realized what was happening and went into a full- blown panic-attack. I backed away from the window with my hand over my mouth as Josh convulsed on the operating table. I didn't want to see this. Didn't want to hear what was happening. But I had to.
One of my cousins was deaf and an expert lip-reader. She 'taught' me, insofar as one can be taught- the rudiments of the trick. I wished I didn't have it suddenly as one of the anonymous green masks slipped enough that I could see the surgeon's mouth.
"Pulse dropping! Going into cardiac arrest!" I missed the next bit- thank- God. It was hard enough realizing a few eternal seconds later that Josh's heart had stopped on the table. I sank down onto the floor with my hand on my mouth. O God, please. no- please, this couldn't be happening. I got up and ran blindly back down the corridor, cannonballing into someone about halfway down the hall. I rebounded again without even seeing who it was before I continued running. As long as I ran, it couldn't catch me. As long as I ran, it wasn't true.
As long as I ran- Josh wasn't dead.
Josh:
I was floating. I couldn't see anything- could only hear vague noises. The world was every colour and no colour at once. I couldn't remember anything, not even who I was. It didn't matter though. This place was peaceful and I knew I didn't want to leave it. But the noises were getting louder- beeping, people talking. Pain! What happened? Shot! I had a blurry vision of dark green- a small canopy affair over my head- what was…
"He's waking up!" What- why shouldn't I…agh! My…my chest- I couldn't breathe. The beeping was getting louder and more frantic and I suddenly felt myself convulsing as my body panicked for air. Then, it was retreating again and everything went far away. Someone said:
"Pulse dropping! Going into cardiac arrest!"
"We're losing him!"
"Try…"
They seemed far too stressed for this peaceful place. Why bother trying?
Charlie:
We heard a thump on the other side of the door. We all jumped about three feet but it was CJ who went to see what was going on. She opened the door and Donna was on the floor weeping. CJ knelt down and hugged her as she whispered in her ear. Myself, Leo and Sam sat, frozen like statues. Donna said something incomprehensible through her sobs but CJ seemed to understand as she froze too.
"Donna?"
Donna took a deep breath as she tried to make her disobedient voice work.
"Iwasatthewindow-theoperatingroom-and…and- he woke up! He…he had some sort of seizure and…and-" her voice trailed off again.
"Shh- it's okay, Donna" said CJ, still on the floor, rocking Donna like a child as she tried to get under control again.
"No- it's not- he's dead, CJ! His…his heart stopped! How's it okay!"
No-one moved again for about ten seconds as we absorbed this. No- how could he be alive one minute- he was talking to me inside the building! And then we went outside and they shot him!. They weren't even aiming at him- it was the President they were shooting at! Just another stray bullet that found a mark it shouldn't have had. Like Mom. Like hundreds of others every year. Surely though- not Josh too? Sams' face was white as a sheet. Poor guy- they'd been friends- brothers almost, for a long time.
Toby walked in, saw us all and understood. He knelt beside Donna on the floor.
"Donna, Donna! It's okay, he's not dead. They brought him back, do you hear me? Donna, they brought Josh back!"
"He's okay?" asked CJ inanely, confused and wanting to believe it but not wanting another disappointment.
" He's alive, Donna." He lifted Donna to her feet and between them CJ and Toby half lifted, half- carried her over to a chair. She had understood the message but was too far gone to stop crying immediately.
"I was going down myself when I saw Donna go past. I was talking to one of the doctors. She said that Josh had a seizure and his heart stopped. They resuscitated him though and the op continues. He's not okay. But he is alive."
"Charlie, Leo. The President is awake and needs to see you"
Jed Bartlett:
How did things go to hell so fast? One moment walking outside, the next that cry of 'GUN!' and those confused minutes of explosions, screams, and myself being bodily grabbed and hurled into the car which sped off into the night. Like we were running away. Like we were abandoning the scene of blood and chaos. Abandoning the staff- Abandoning CJ, Charlie, Toby, Josh. I knew Leo would be bundled protesting into a car also- and that he would feel this too. My only consolation was that my Zoey was safe. And then realizing that I'd been hit. The hospital. Leo telling me that everyone was okay. Waking up- to this.
Everyone wasn't okay. We had run away and left them there and everyone wasn't okay.
"Jed- there's bad news" my wife told me. I looked up at her, hoping that she wasn't going to say that Leo had been wrong.
"What? What's wrong…" I asked as I had to.
"Josh was shot too. He's in surgery right now."
"Is- is it serious?" I asked, staring at her face, which already gave me the answer.
"Yes, Jed. They're doing an emergency operation now. It's likely to take about twelve hours. His lung was collapsed and the pulmonary artery ruptured." I hadn't been married to a doctor for this long without knowing what was serious. This definitely qualified.
"Mr. President, there's something else. You weren't the main target. We have the third party now- the signaller that Agent Toscano saw. The target was Charlie."
Charlie:
It was my fault. Those were the first words that went through my head when he told me.
"Okay. Um… okay. I… I yeah" I stumbled out when I finally understood. I left in a mix of confusion and guilt. Zoey followed me. I knew she would but I wished she hadn't. I needed to sort this out in my own mind first.
"I knew that there were people who don't want me dating you because…"
"Because you're black- I know." said Zoey. "It's stupid, I don't understand it either…"
"Yeah. Because I'm black. Why! Why do these people think that because I'm black I'm different- below them! It's just…" I trailed off, realizing that I was perilously close to tears.
"Not fair. Yeah, I know." That was Zoey for you. She could understand people's feelings so well. And we could finish off each others sentences like they were our own. But she didn't realize the worst bit. She was hugging me but I moved away a bit and then turned to look her in the eyes.
"Zoey- don't you blame me? Because of me, you could have been killed. Your father was shot- and Josh too…" I couldn't go on but I didn't see the fear and revulsion I'd been terrified I'd see in her eyes.
"Charlie- don't you dare blame yourself for this! It's not your fault! I don't blame you for this. Neither does my father- or Leo or CJ, Toby, Sam- Josh wouldn't blame you for this either." She paused and sat down on a bench, patting it to make me sit too.
"Charlie- you're not the only one these people hate. Josh and Toby get hate-mail and death-threats just for being Jewish. There are people who don't think CJ should even be in the White House because she's a woman. And Leo- when that broke about his addiction even though it was a few years back, do you think he didn't get hate-mail and calls for his resignation as well? These people are bigots. These are the evil ones- the 'abomination to their race', as they like to put it. They don't even have the courage to sign their names on the bottom of their cowardly little letters!'
"So don't you blame yourself for this, Charlie. You're the only one who does."
When she said this I felt a great load lift off me. Things were still bad but at least I didn't feel quite so responsible any more.
"Charlie- how is Josh?" she asked. We left the subject of who was to blame and moved onto one that was just as bad. Zoey didn't know everything yet.
Sam:
We sat there for a while. CJ and me had to both return to the White House. Mrs. Landingham and Toby were sitting with Donna waiting now. I love my work- my job but there were times I could curse it for never stopping. Like now. I was walking down the hallway with CJ when she asked me to do the morning shows. I could feel something wrong but I didn't push it. I didn't have the energy.
I did the morning shows more or less on autopilot. I answered questions mechanically and felt I was doing pretty much okay until someone asked me how Josh was doing. My numb shell nearly broke altogether at this point but I got it under control after a brief pause in which I swallowed heavily and masked my emotions y taking a drink of water. I told them the truth- that frankly he wasn't doing as well as could be hoped but we were waiting for news. They wished us luck and said that their prayers were with Josh and the President. I had just exited when my phone went off.
"Sam? It's Donna. They should be finishing up soon. Come if you can. They should be giving us news soon"
I passed the news onto CJ in the White House and we tried to avoid breaking all the speed-laws getting there. I think we were only partially successful though.
We went in and sat down and silence fell again. It was Donna, Toby, CJ and myself in there.
"Sam?" asked CJ suddenly. "How come you're Josh's next of kin? If you don't mind…" she added hurriedly. I looked up. The other two were looking at me too. I sighed. It wasn't really my place to say but…
"He had a brother and sister too- his sister died in a house-fire when he was six and his brother was killed in a random drive-by shooting five years later. His parents both died of cancer- his father died during the Illinois primaries six years ago."
"And he has no other…"
"You know his family's Jewish, don't you" I snapped. " Well so did the Nazis"
"Oh- I understand…I- sorry…" she lapsed into silence and I felt bad at snapping at her. It wasn't her fault. But she didn't have to ask. Just like she hadn't had to say what she did earlier.
"Apart from his grandfather, all his grandparents, uncles and aunts died in the Holocaust, either in concentration camps or in the Nazi- hunts. His parents survived out of their families but there are no further relatives that he's ever been able to trace. The Nazis weren't very good at keeping records."
I could see Toby understood but Donna and CJ were staring at me. Intellectually they could comprehend the hate and destruction but they couldn't truly understand it. Neither could I.
"I…I didn't know…"
"No reason while you should have done. He doesn't talk about it all much. Anyway, after his father died he asked me would I be the next-of-kin when he had to sign the forms. We've known each other for twenty-five years now…"
There was a pause as CJ tried to shape a sentence.
"Sam- I'm sorry for what I said earlier. You know I didn't mean it- I- it was stress- and it was cruel and wrong. I'm sorry"
"Yeah. It was. I'm sorry CJ- I know you didn't mean it. No-one heard you though."
"I know…" She was suddenly crying silently. I felt horrible for saying that myself now.
"Don't- it's going to be okay." Like CJ had with Donna, I found myself holding onto CJ as she cried.
"Excuse-me. You're here with Josh Lyman?" came a voice from the doorway. We all straightened up and looked at him.
"Yes" replied Toby.
"Mr. Lyman has pulled through the surgery. There were some bad moments but he is alive. He hasn't come round yet from the anesthetic and we won't know of any problems till he does…"
"What kind of problems?"
"His heart stopped during the surgery and blood stopped flowing to his brain. We got it started again fairly soon but it can lead to complications- we don't know the possibility of brain-damage just yet."
Brain- damage.
"How would we know the difference with Josh?" muttered Toby automatically. Anyone else would have gotten shouted at for a comment like this- or at least scandalized looks, but we all knew it was just Toby reacting in his usual Tobyish manner.
"Can we see him?" CJ standing up, asked him.
"The President and the Chief of Staff are in with him now. You can go to the window though."
So we traipsed out and stood at the window. We watched Leo and the President standing over our friend waiting for him to wake up. The door was open and we could hear someone saying:
Josh:
"Josh, Josh, wake up, it's okay. I want you to wake up"
What? Wake up, but… I was dead wasn't I? I had felt myself die on the operating table...
Or not. I realized I wasn't breathing before realizing further that there appeared to be a machine doing it for me. Weird. There were lights glaring down and they made me squint and my eyes water until I got used to them. Faces swam into view.
I was alive? I coughed slightly and said something. I heard one of the faces above say:
"I can't hear you Josh? What did he say?"
I whispered it again to the ear near my face.
"He said: 'What's next?'"
Finished! Yay!
Sequel 'Dawning Light' coming up about the long road to recovery. But first I've got this pesky Leaving Cert to do. Dammit.
Love you all and pliz R&R!
Aries
See- nice button right here to help!
