Joes, We Have A Problem
Soon the Joes were examining the evidence collected in their command vehicle. "So what do you make of it Mainframe?" Duke asked.
"Looks like Mindbender's work all right," Mainframe nodded. "I'd recognize his shoddy workmanship anywhere."
"So Cobra was behind the attack at the zoo," Duke said. "The President was right."
"About what?" Scarlet asked.
"Here, you'd better see this," Duke turned on the monitor of the command vehicle and showed them several images. "There have been reports of mass kidnappings from five isolated towns and villages all over the world in the past three weeks," Duke said. "Estimated total is about 450 people from Alaska, Nebraska, Siberia, North Africa andthe Ukraneare missing, maybe even more. In each instance everyone in the entire town was taken. Men, women and children. Even the family pets in some cases are missing."
"What could Cobra be planning?" Scarlet asked.
"Whatever it is, it's not gonna be good," Roadblock shook his head.
"The missing people, the animals at the zoo and Hawk's capture," Duke thought aloud. "There's a good chance they're all connected in some way. That's what we have to find out and fast!"
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"Hawk, in the movie they said that no kids were taken," Scarlet Witch said.
"Yeah, well we purposely left that part out," Roadblock sighed.
"Why?" Wavedancer asked.
"We're getting to it," General Hawk sighed. "Little did we know we had someone else that was concerned about Cobra activities."
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"I can't believe this…" Dr. Talbot struggled to hear what the Joes were saying in their command vehicle by hanging onto a tree. "National security my Aunt Hilda's patootie! If those military misfits think that anybody's gonna get away with mistreating my animals, they've got another think com-miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnngg!"
He screamed as he fell out of the tree. "I'm okay…" He moaned. "I just landed on my head…Owie…"
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Back at the Cobra Base…
"All right, whose genius idea was it to put in sloth DNA in this thing?" Cobra Commander snapped as he tried to remove the misshapen mutated individual from his neck. The being had huge long arms, a snout and a very long tongue. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop licking me!"
"Well you did say get every animal DNA available at the zoo," Mindbender told him.
"And you wanted to be surprised," Destro added.
"Well guess what? Mission accomplished!" Cobra Commander pushed the sloth man off. "You! Stay down! Stay down! Stay…Stay…Good boy."
"What have you done to that poor devil?" Hawk asked in horror.
"Besides give him a new fur coat?" Cobra Commander asked. "I've given his life purpose!"
The Baroness slinked her arm onto Hawk's shoulder. "With a single Commander…"
"And the ability to venomize civilians by the thousands…" Destro grinned running his fingers towards the Baroness. The Baroness slapped his hand, still angry at him.
"Cobra can create entire unstoppable armies all over the world," Mindbender grinned. Then he saw Cobra Commander. "Commander!"
"No! Like this! Like this!" Cobra Commander was trying to get his latest victim to poke himself in the eyes like one of the Three Stooges. "He he…This is so funny! Somebody get a camera!"
"Cobra Commander the demonstration is over," Mindbender hissed.
"You know he's not that bad once you get to know him," Cobra Commander looked at his new pet. "I think I'll call him…Gary."
"Gary?" Destro looked at him.
"Well I can't give him a cool name I mean, he looks like a Gary doesn't he?" Cobra Commander asked.
"Commander?" Mindbender coughed. "Can we get back on schedule please?"
"Oh right. So to do an executive recap," Cobra Commander walked towards him. "Spray the green gas over a city, turn useless civilians into ruthless troopers, crush freedom and democracy and Cobra rules the world. Any questions?"
"Yeah, is there enough oxygen in that helmet of yours?" Hawk sneered.
"Ha, ha…That's an original joke!" Cobra Commander said sarcastically. "Prepare the General for the Maximum treatment!"
"But Cobra Commander, that's never been tested!" Mindbender protested. "He may not survive!"
"And that's a problem why?" Cobra Commander asked.
"Well there is the slight chance that he may have information valuable to us," Mindbender said. "Him being the leader of GI Joe and all."
"So? We'll just download his memories with one of your do hickeys!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Overkill, hook the general up to the Brainwave Scanner and do it!"
"Yes sir, time for Wapner, definitely time for Wapner…" Overkill sputtered as he pushed a few buttons on his machine. The top of the table holding Hawk turned into a snake head, which attached himself to his head. "Download memory, my pleasure!"
"Rarrr!" Gary leapt up on top of Cobra Commander and started to lick his face again.
"Speaking of pleasure," Destro said off handedly. "Mindbender I think our latest recruit is enjoying himself a little too much."
"GARY! NO! DOWN BOY!" Cobra Commander shouted. "GET OFF ME!"
"Oh god please let this thing put me in such pain so I can't tell what's going on!" Hawk moaned as the process started.
