Just Another Day Where The Base Gets Blown Up

"All right Joes," Duke pointed to the monitor. "We've finally got a break in the case. Seems like Cobra had the bright idea to blow up another one of our tracking satellites. Of course this satellite was able to send it's coordinates and had a camera so it showed exactly where the attack came from!"

"Thank goodness Cobra's full of dumb idiots," Roadblock chuckled as he shook his head. "Makes our job so much easier!"

"Yeah well there's going to be plenty of action," Duke told him. "We've been taking it long enough! It's time to bring this battle to Cobra! Yo…"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"Joe…?" Duke blinked. "Aw crap, we're under attack again!"

"I'll say one thing," Shipwreck said as the Joes rushed to battle stations. "It's never dull around here."

"I wish it was," Airtight groaned. "And where the hell is that Bubble Gum Brain Bazooka anyway?"

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"YOU IDIOT!" Storm Shadow screamed as he looked at the destroyed office. "You nearly killed us both!"

"Oops," Bazooka blinked as he held his smoking bazooka. "This time I won't miss!"

"Oh no you don't!" Storm Shadow swung his sword and charged in order to cut it. However Bazooka was faster than he looked and moved out of the way just in time. Unfortunately the Bazooka went off and it crashed through the wall. Actually it crashed through several walls. Right through to the men's showers. It destroyed the shower walls and exposed who was in the individual stalls. And it just happened several Joes were taking showers at the time.

"I hate my life…" Low Light scrambled to cover himself up.

"Well at least you don't have soap all over you!" Lifeline shouted as he tried to find a towel.

"I feel so naked…" Tripwire gulped.

"That's because you are!" Low Light snapped. "For god's sake get a towel or something!"

Scarlet had stopped running and stared at the sight. "That's something you don't see every day."

"DO YOU MIND?" Lifeline screamed as he tried to cover himself.

"No, actually I don't mind at all," Scarlet grinned. "Whoa! Tripwire! No wonder you have trouble walking! How can you even stand with that huge…?"

"SCARLET STOP GAWKING AT THEM AND START SHOOTING THE COBRAS!" Duke screamed as a horde of Cobra BATS and planes started firing.

Soon the Joes and the Cobras were in the middle of a fierce firefight. Meanwhile Storm Shadow finally managed to knock the weapon out of Bazooka's hands. "You insane oaf!" Storm Shadow snapped. "You've nearly ruined my mission! Now you shall pay the price!" He lunged at him with his sword.

Suddenly Snake Eyes appeared and blocked Storm Shadow's attack with his sword. "You!" Storm Shadow snarled.

"Oh yeah, him," Bazooka got out of the way.

"The great Storm Shadow has gotten careless," Jinx quipped as she appeared.

"He's also got the codes from Hawk's office!" Bazooka told her.

"What's left of it," Jinx noticed.

"Sorry," Bazooka fidgeted.

"Not as sorry as he is gonna be once Snake and I get through with him," Jinx told him.

Snake Eyes held up his hand. "Yes this fight is between the two of us," Storm Shadow sneered. Soon the two of them were going at it.

"Wow look at all the throwing stars," Bazooka marveled as he watched the fight with Jinx. They both ducked to avoid being hit by them.

"And watch this!" Storm Shadow leapt up and hit a pipeline with his sword. The broken pipe spurted out steam covering his trail.

"I got it!" Bazooka grabbed his bazooka.

"Bazooka! No!" Jinx shouted.

Too late Bazooka fired and it made another huge hole in the hallway. "Thank you for the exit!" Storm Shadow cackled as he leapt through it.

"Oopsie," Bazooka gulped.

"Alpine's right," Jinx grumbled as they ran after Storm Shadow. "You are a bubble gum brain!"

They ran outside and saw the fighting going on. "Oh it's just Cobra getting their butts kicked again," Bazooka said as he saw another Cobra plane go up in flames. "Why are half of our guys only wearing towels? Oh right…My bad."

"Just follow that ninja!" Jinx groaned. She saw their enemy grab a motorcycle and tear off. "There he goes!"

They jumped on some other motorcycles and tore through the base after him, weaving and dodging through the bombs and other Joes fighting. "MY TOWEL!" Tripwire screamed as Bazooka cut him off.

"Get it off!" Bazooka moved the towel off his face just in time to drive right through the cafeteria. He came out the other end covered in salad and chocolate pudding. "Hmmm…Pudding."

Eventually Storm Shadow drove through a hangar, right up a flight of stairs and onto a roof with the Joes in hot pursuit. Snake Eyes crashed his motorcycle right into Storm Shadow's. Both had leapt away before the explosion and were soon having a heated sword battle.

"Do they always do this?" Bazooka asked as he and Jinx landed on the roof and watched them fight.

"Pretty much," Jinx said. "Look! Those Night Adders in the sky must be here to pick up Storm Shadow!" She pointed to the Cobra flying machines in the air.

"Not if I can help it!" Bazooka grabbed his trusty bazooka and fired twice. He hit one of them but forgot to get off the bike first. He slid backwards off the roof. "WHOA!"

"What kind of bazooka is that anyway?" Storm Shadow snapped as he saw what had happened. "I didn't even see him put the shells in!"

"We're not really sure how he does it either," Jinx admitted as she went to help Bazooka. He was soon hanging off the roof holding his bazooka in one hand and trying to hang on with the other. "Bazooka! Drop it! I can't pull you up!"

"Not my baby!" Bazooka whined. "Not Myrtle!"

"Myrtle?" Jinx blinked.

"Myrtle?" Storm Shadow blinked. "I tire of this nonsense! I know you Snake Eyes, you have to save that fool! Even if it means I escape!"

Snake Eyes knew he was right and went to help Bazooka. Storm Shadow saw his chance and managed to get into a Cobra Jet as it flew down low to pick him up. He used a grappling hook to catch it and climbed in. "Farewell fools!" He laughed.

Meanwhile the Joes flying squadron had severely beat back the Cobras. "Next stop Vegas boys!" Wild Bill called out. "Wild Bill is on a roll!"

"Not after what you did last time in Vegas!" Slipstream snapped. "We're still getting angry letters from Wayne Newton!"

"It's over guys," Duke said as the Cobras got away. "Cobra's retreating."

"Should we go after them Duke?" Wild Bill asked on the radio.

"Negative Wild Bill," Duke told him. "We can't risk leaving this base undefended."

"What base?" Slipstream asked as he saw the ruined mess below. "Aw man and I just painted my barracks too!"

"Well me and the boys will stay on patrol anyway," Wild Bill said.

"Yeah, we'll guard a big burning hole in the ground," Ace grumbled. "Cobra really wants that!"

"Duke," Jinx reported in through her communicator. "Storm Shadow stole Hawk's quantum command codes."

"Oh great!" Duke grumbled. "Then this whole battle was just a diversion! We've got nothing to show for it!"

"Not true Hawk," Mainframe said as he ran up carrying a broken BAT head. "We still have our computer lab underground and I can analyze the data from this bucket of bolts here."

"Do it!" Duke said. "We need to get all the information we can!"

"It'll take a while…" Mainframe fiddled with it.

"ZZZT! Return to Antarctic Base…" The BAT sputtered. "Return to Antarctic Base…"

"Or maybe a few seconds," Mainframe blinked.

"Antarctica? That's where our satellite blew up," Scarlet said.

"Five will get you ten that's where they're holding Hawk prisoner! Come on Joes we're bringing Hawk home!" Duke said. Then he noticed some of his men were still only wearing towels. "Uh, right after you guys get dressed. ESPECIALLY YOU TRIPWIRE!"

"You're just jealous because yours…" Scarlet began.

"OKAY! LET'S GO JOES!" Duke shouted. "Everybody move out!" He ran off.

None of the Joes left. "So you were saying Scarlet?" Lady Jaye asked.

"EVERYBODY MOVE OUT!" Duke snapped. "Except you Scarlet! Guard the base or something!"

Scarlet looked at the destruction. "Oh yeah, what a thrill. I'm telling you this right now I am not cleaning that up!"