Time To Turn Things Around

"Okay where the hell are we?" Dr. Talbot looked at the barren desert ground below. "There's nothing around here for miles!"

"Dr. Talbot…" Scarlet sighed as she flew the plane.

"Call me Link," He waved.

"Link," Scarlet looked at him. "I said it was a 'secret' base," She made her fingers into quotations to emphasize the point. "What? Did you really expect a big sign or something Secret GI Joe Ultimate Base?"

She landed on a patch of land right next to a single cactus. Suddenly the ground below them began to sink. "What the…?"

"Welcome to our secondary secret base," Scarlet grinned. "Next stop the Pit II!"

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"The Pit II?" Avalanche asked. "Hold on, I thought you said the Pit got trashed! Which one's the real Pit?"

"Actually there were two Pits at one time," Hawk explained. "The one you live in now and a secondary back up base."

"What happened to the back up base?" Avalanche asked.

"It kind of…Blew up," Wavedancer winced.

"How could it blow up?" The Scarlet Witch asked. Then everyone looked at Trinity. "Oh…"

"We were only three at the time!" Daria snapped.

"It could have happened to any genius," Brittany said.

"At least we found a lot of oil," Quinn said. "And some other stuff…"

"Man this movie really did fool around with the truth didn't it?" Wavedancer groaned.

"Yeah and did you notice how that actress who played Jinx sounded exactly like Jean?" Quicksilver asked. "Scary."

"Can we get back to the story here?" Roadblock asked. "Anyway we asked Link to study all our stuff on Cobra's new plot. And what we asked of him was a lot."

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"That's everything Link," Scarlet said. "So what's your take on it?"

"I don't know how it's possible but those soldiers seem to be humans enhanced with animal DNA," Link said as he looked at the monitor deep in the confines of the Joes' secret base. "From what I've seen here, arctic wolves."

"Can you reverse the process?" Scarlet asked.

"I really don't know," Link said. "Technically I suppose it's possible. But I doubt these things will stand in line for a shot."

"Doc you invent the cure, I'll invent the delivery system," Mainframe said.

"Well first we need a sample," Link told him.

"Is that all?" Flint said as he and the other Joes strode in. They were carrying one of the Cobra troopers. "You should have seen the one that got away."

"Great to see you guys," Scarlet said. "We were wondering what happened to you. And why are you covered in marshmallow?"

"Long story…" Flint groaned.

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"There is no door…" Bazooka said, appearing to be in a deep trance. He picked up his bazooka and fired.

BOOM!

"Well there isn't now!" Duke said. "Good work Bazooka!"

"Yeah well if it wasn't for us, you guys would still be in the cell," Jinx told him. "Good thing Snake Eyes and I stayed behind."

"Where's Cobra Commander?" Duke asked.

"Gone," Jinx said as they made their way to the command center. "Along with Hawk and everyone else."

"What do you mean?" Bazooka asked.

"They just loaded everyone up and took off," Jinx said. "Snake Eyes stuck a tracer on them."

"Good work," Duke said as they entered the command center. "We'd better call the Joes for backup!"

"This place is so empty," Jinx looked around. Snake Eyes however tensed.

"They've taken Hawk and everything else!" Duke said. "But why just leave us here?"

"Who cares?" Bazooka turned on the console. "I think this still works."

Snake Eyes suddenly drew his sword. "What is it Snake?" Duke asked. Then he saw a pair of green glowing eyes in the shadows. "Oh boy…Something tells me this base isn't completely deserted!"

That's when the monitor crackled to life. "Calling all GI Joes!" Cobra Commander cackled. "It's time to tune to the Cobra Channel!"

"I always said there was nothing good on TV," Jinx grumbled.

"Today for your viewing pleasure we present the first and last episode of something new. Something I call a reality show because this stuff happens to real people! It's called…No Survivors! Pretty catchy huh? Maybe I should market that?"

"He seriously needs to get a new scriptwriter," Jinx grumbled.

"Like all good shows this one ends with a bang!" Cobra Commander cackled with glee as he set off the explosives with a push of the button.