Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Les Mis characters or Julius Caesar. I wish I did, though. Oh, and I don't own the song "Erie Canal". This is part Les Mis, part JC so don't yell at me if you dont know what Les Miserables is.
Me: (to you) Hi! Welcome to my production of a Julius Caesar crossover! Yay! ::confetti:: Oh, and we're using my abridged script so there will be no Marullus, Flavius, commoners in that scene, or any others that I forget to mention.
Javert: Huh?
Gavroche: Toast :)
Enjolras: Why should I care about historical figures when I can be revolting and building barricades?
Grantaire: Couldn't we do something like cheese? Cheese tasted good with wine.
Me: Glazer! (Note: Erica is my friend, she is not fictional)
Erica: ::pops out of nowhere:: You rang?
Me: I've promoted you to assistant director.
Erica: Yay! goes to talk to Cosette and EponineEnjolras: Now that was pointless.
Marius: Yeah, she took Cosette away.
Fantine: ::shakes Marius's hand:: Welcome to my world.
Me: Anyway, don't you want to know what you're parts are?
Gavroche: Me!
Me: ::pats Gavroche:: Good boy. Caesar is Marius.
Cosette: ::leaves Erica and Eponine:: I guess I'm Calpurnia.
Me: No.
Cosette: No? ::tears swell up in her eyes::Me: You're Portia.
Valjean: Who's Brutus?
Me: I ain't done yet!
Gavroche: And you say I have bad grammar...Me: Brutus is Combeferre.
'Ferre: Me?
Me: Yup.
Marius: Who's Calpurina?
Me: Eponine.
Eponine: I get to be with Marius! Yay! ::more confetti::Cosette: I-I-I'm married to Combeferre?
Me: ::Evil Squirrel Laugh::
Me: Yeah. Antony is Enjolras.
Enjolras: Friends, countrymen, lend me your ears. ::smiles:: I got to make that into a speech...
Me: Cassius is Javert.
Javert: Groovy. note the sarcasm
Me: Cinna is Jehan.
Jehan: Ditto. (minus sarcasm)
Me: Casca is Grantaire.
Grantaire: OK.
Me: Decius is Lesgles.
Lesgles: I got a name!Me: Soothsayer is Bahorel.
Bahorel: I get a part. I didn't have one in the musical.
All except him: We know
Me: Pindarus is Valjean.
Valjean: Me? Javert's servant? I spent 19 years-
Javert: Heh, heh, heh...
Me: Octavius is Gavroche.
Gavroche: Weee!Me: Titnius is Joly.
Joly: ::sneezes::Me: Messala is Courfeyrac.
Courfeyrac: Also, groovy.
Me: Lucius is Azelma.
'Zelma: I get a part too! Me and Bahorel were left out in the-
Me: Musical, yes we know. And A servant to Antony is Thénardier. And Mme. T is A servant to Octavius.
Thénardiers: Grrr...
Me: Cool. Uh, 1st Roman is Montparnasse. 2nd Roman is Babet, and 3rd Roman is Fantine.
Fantine: Interesting...
'Parnasse and Babet: Grrr...
Me: You do that. And me and Erica are the directors.
Erica: Let the play begin!Me: Note that this abridged. Don't kill me, 'cause you're not getting the full script.
Erica: In the wings Enter Caesar, Soothsayer, Casca, Brutus, Decius, Calpurnia, Portia, Romans 1, 2, and 3, Cassius, and Antony. (They enter)
Bahorel: ::raspy:: Caesar.
Marius: ::In normal dorky Mariusvoice:: I hear a voice shriller than all music! Who was that?
Me: Cut! Marius you play Julius Caesar. Sound more like, like, well, Enjolras.
Enjy: ::smiles for a second or two::
Marius: ::looks offended:: ::sniff:: I'll try to::sniff::Marius says his line better and Erica applauses
Grantaire: Peace! Caesar is talking! Wait, I don't care if Marius talks, 'cause all he talks about is stupid Cosette!
Cosette: ::ahem::
Grantaire: Uh, sorry. ahem Caesar is talking!
Bahorel: Beware the ides of March.
Marius: Who is that man?
Gavroche: Stupid Marius, Cosette is offended it's Bahorel.
Me: No! It's in the script, Gav.
Gav: Oh ::smiles::'Ferre: A soothsayer, Caesar, and he says you should be very careful on March 15th.
Erica: What an actor...Marius: Bring him here-
Valjean: Bring him home... ::hums the rest::Enjolras: ::gives Valjean his glare from his place on top of my staircase::
Me: Good boy.
Marius:- Let me see his face.
Javert: Fellow, come here and look at him.
Bahorel: No thanks, I see Marius enough.
Fast ForwardMe: ::twiddling my thumbs while back-to-back with Erica:: ::sings:: I got a mule her name is Sal. Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal...
Erica: ::sings:: We've hauled some barges in our day, filled with lumber, coal and hay.
Me and Erica: ::sings:: And we know ev'ry inch of the way, from Albany to Buffalo.
Enjolras: Best rendition of "Erie Canal" I've ever heard.
Courfeyrac: It's the only time you've heard it.
Ringo Starr (from the Beatles): ::comes out of nowhere and plays on his drums:: Budum chick (or that drum noise you hear on some comedy shows, you know what I mean)
'Ferre: ::still reading from his script:: It's not you, Cassius; it's me. I've been very preoccupied with some personal problems lately.
Fast ForwardMe: Ifteenfay ilesmay on the Erie Analcay.
Enjolras: "Erie Canal" in Pig Latin?
Me: Esyay. (Yes)
Javert: ::reading from script:: I was born as free as Caesar, so were you.
Erica: Next scene! Robyn and I are getting tired of singing "Erie Canal"! On the stage we need: 'Ferre and 'Zelma
'Ferre: reading Lucius! I can tell by looking at the stars how late it is. Lucius! I wish I could sleep as soundly as he does. Lucius! Lucius, wake up!
(Azelma enters)
Light a candle in my study, and then come and get me.
Azelma: Yeah.
Me: Not reading from the script! Shakespeare did not make any of his characters say 'yeah'.
Erica: (standing up for 'Zelma) Well, now he did.
Me: Whatever...
Fast Forward because the next line is really long
('Zelma Enters)
'Zelma: The candle is lighted, sir. I found this letter.
'Ferre: Isn't tomorrow the ides of March? Look at the calendar.
(Azelma exits)
::reading 'letters':: "Brutus you're asleep. Wake up and see yourself. Speak, strike!" I have seen many letters like these lately. "Shall rome live in fear of one man?" Rome, I promise you'll get all you ask from Brutus!
Azelma: Yes, sir. Tomorrow is March 15th.
(There is a knock, Azelma exits)
Me: Alright, guys. Looks like you need a break.
Enjy: But I haven't been on yet!
Me: Neither has Joly, Courfeyrac, the Thénardiers, 'Parnasse, Babet, Gavroche, Valjean, Cosette, or Eponine.
Erica: Who wants some toast? Gav: I do!
Author's Note: Uh, OK, that was odd. See that little button down there. Yeah, that's it. Click on it. Now, REVIEW! No flames, please.
