Time For Things To Go Boom
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ONE WAS A DUD!" Cobra Commander screamed as he rapidly pushed the buttons. "WHO'S THE GENIUS WHO SET UP THE EXPLOSIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE?"
Two BATS pointed at each other. "Never mind!" Cobra Commander snapped. "We have a backup right? It'll take how long? AGGHH! Doesn't anything go right around here?" He turned to the monitor. "Could you hold please? We seem to be having some technical difficulties!"
He turned around and started shouting. "All I ask of you people is to do everything I want when I want it! Is that so much to ask?"
"And all I want is to wring Venomous Maximus by the neck!" Destro shouted off camera.
"Well maybe if you didn't take me for granted…" The Baroness could be heard screaming. So were the sounds of lasers.
"WILL YOU TWO FOOLS STOP SHOOTING AT EACH OTHER!" Cobra Commander screamed. "GREAT! YOU JUST BLEW UP ANOTHER PIECE OF OUR EQUIPMENT! IT'S A WONDER ANYTHING WORKS AT ALL AROUND HERE! I HAVE HALF A MIND TO…"
Suddenly a technician ran up to him and whispered something. "What do you mean we're still on the air?" Cobra Commander snapped. He looked at the monitor again. "Oops…"
Then the monitor turned off. "I think we should go now," Bazooka said.
"First we should deal with that!" Jinx pointed to the shadows where a pair of bright green eyes blinked at them. The Joes prepared to fight. But they weren't prepared for what happened next.
Out of the shadows crawled a ten-month old baby. She was wearing a little pink shirt and a diaper but the extraordinary thing about her was that she was part tiger with a cute tail. She had big green eyes and a pink bow in her hair. She looked up at the adults with amusement.
"What the…?" Duke blinked.
"Gah!" The cute cat baby cooed.
"Oh great!" Duke picked her up.
"Where did she come from?" Jinx asked.
"She must have got loose somehow when they were transporting the others," Duke guessed. "Ow! She's teething!"
"Come on we'd better move it before Chrome Dome figures out the self destruct codes," Jinx said. "I think there are some vehicles left in the hangar!"
They all raced to the hangar. "I don't see anything," Bazooka looked around.
"There's an abandoned Cobra plane there!" Jinx pointed to a Night Adder. "Come on!"
"You think we can all fit in this?" Duke said.
"Only one way to find out," Jinx said as they all got in. "OW!"
"Sorry," Bazooka apologized. "Didn't mean to put my foot there."
"Watch it!" Duke said. "Okay somebody has to hold the kid here!"
"Meow! Gah bah!" The baby cooed.
"Ow! My arm is not for teething!" Jinx said.
"Let's just get out of here," Duke managed to find the starter but nothing happened.
"What's wrong? Are we out of fuel?" Bazooka asked.
"I think I just figured out the reason it was abandoned," Duke groaned. "The starter's broken."
"I can hotwire it!" Bazooka leaned over.
"OW! Watch it!" Jinx snapped.
"Ooof!" Duke moaned as Bazooka accidentally elbowed him. "Bazooka!"
"Ow!" Jinx moaned as the baby squirmed. "Somebody get this kid's tail out of my mouth! Blech!"
"All right! We're back!" Cobra Commander's voice was heard. "Okay where did they go?"
"Bazooka…" Duke gulped.
"Almost," Bazooka worked on it.
"Look I know you Joes are in there somewhere!" Cobra Commander shouted. "The scanners say you're in there…"
"Got it!" Bazooka finished.
"Finally!" Duke managed to turn on the engine and it started to take off.
"In fact you're right in the…Hangar!" Cobra Commander screamed. "DETONATE THE BOMB! DETONATE THE BOMB!"
"Go! Go! Go!" Bazooka screamed.
"I'm going!" Duke flew the plane.
BOOM!
The base exploded just as the plane took off out of the hangar. "ALL RIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU IDIOTS LEFT THE HANGAR DOORS OPEN WHEN WE LEFT?" Cobra Commander screamed at his lackeys.
"Now that was a close call," Duke sighed as he flew away. "Bazooka! Get your foot out of my eye!"
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"Okay now we know there wasn't any baby in the movie!" Toad shouted.
"And knowing is…" Blob began.
"Don't say it!" Hawk groaned.
"Like I said before, there is a reason we left that part out!" Roadblock told them.
"Which is?" Avalanche asked.
"We're getting to it," Hawk said. "Well a few hours later…"
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"You find anything?" Scarlet asked Link.
"Brilliant genetic engineering," Link said as he studied his sample under a microscope. "But it looks like there's one critical flaw. Looks like a simple amino acid substitution will be able to reverse his condition. I think. Odd that someone would make such an amateur mistake."
"No surprise," Mainframe scoffed. "Mindbungler's short a few circuits in his motherboard if you ask me." He was fooling around with a paintball gun. "I just wish we knew what happened to Duke and the others."
"Hey! We're getting a signal!" Dial Tone shouted. "A Cobra Night Adder is flying in but we're getting a GI Joe signal code!"
"That's gotta be Duke and the others!" Roadblock shouted. "Come on we gotta welcome our brothers!"
"Calling GI Joe!" Duke called. "Calling GI…OW!"
"Sorry!" Bazooka said.
"So what's going on down there?" Duke asked. "You having a party down there or something?"
"We are now!" Roadblock laughed.
Soon the Joes had landed and were catching up on what was going on."Got another little patient for you," Jinx held the happy tiger baby.
"Just when I think Cobra couldn't sink any lower," Flint growled.
"Where do you think she came from?" Roadblock asked.
"She must have been one of the kids taken from those towns," Duke said as he looked at her. "Cobra must have infused her with tiger DNA. Poor little thing…"
"Well we'll take good care of…OW!" Roadblock yelled as he was handed the little bundle of joy.
"Oh yeah, she's teething," Duke explained. "Now what's going on here?"
"Cobra completely overran our base in South America," Flint told Duke.
"So that's where their new base is," Duke thought. "With our launcher Cobra can venomize entire cities all over the world, making innocent civilians their monster slaves!"
"Like that little baby," Bazooka said.
"Yeah like her," Duke nodded.
"Even if I find an antidote, there's not enough to save everyone in the world," Link told them.
"Which means it's up to us!" Duke said. "We have to stop Cobra once and for all, before they use that launcher!"
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"Let's hope this does the trick," Link injected the antidote into the prisoner.
The prisoner convulsed and returned back to human form. "Dude like where am I?" The man moaned. "Wow, what a trip!"
"It worked!" Link said.
"Now all I gotta do is figure out a delivery system," Mainframe looked at his paint gun. He splattered a picture of Cobra Commander on the wall. "And I think I've just found it."
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Meanwhile back at the Brazil base…
"Cobra Commander the launch will be ready in one hour," Destro told Cobra Commander.
"You said that two hours ago!" Cobra Commander snapped. "What kept you?"
"AND ANOTHER THING…"The Baroness could be heard yelling. "MAXIMUS IS A LOT MORE SENSITVE TO MY NEEDS THAN YOU EVER WERE!"
"WILL YOU STIFLE YOURSELF WOMAN!" Destro shouted back.
"Besides that I mean," Cobra Commander groaned.
"Well…" Destro began.
"Wapner…no Wapner…" Overkill walked by buzzing. "Need my Wapner! No reason to live without Wapner! Or Vanna White. Gotta have my Vanna While. Wheel…Of…Fortune!"
"Okay," Cobra Commander said. "Give me another reason."
"You see…" Destro tried again.
"No, no, no! We said Imperial Silver should be on the walls!" Slash shouted at the Cobra Troops. "Slice picked it out himself!"
"This is Emperor Silver!" Slice shouted. "It doesn't even go with the curtains Slice picked out!" He was carrying some fabric.
"Curtains?" Cobra Commander blinked.
"Just because it's an evil command center in order to take over the world…" Slash began.
"That's no reason to not make it a gorgeous work environment," Slice said. "Ooh! And I found this adorable teddy bear which would make a marvelous centerpiece!"
"Okay you made your point!" Cobra Commander groaned at Destro.
"Actually the real reason is that we've caught a spy," Destro told him.
"Fine I'll pretend that's the real reason we've been delayed," Cobra Commander sounded relieved.
Tunnel Rat was dragged out. "You snakes are not gonna get away with this!"
"Uh, yes I believe we are," Destro chuckled.
"Why don't we give this rodent a front row seat for our very first launch?" Cobra Commander cackled.
Next: The Big Battle! And it's gonna be different than the movie! He he…
