Ah. How it grieves me to write such a depressing story. A young Kokirian girl was pushed into the mud, a fairy became the prey of a million hungry man-eating spiders, and a wise old tree perished, never to be revived again. And, the strange thing about it is, it's only the fourth chapter.
Oh, how I wish I could tell you that Link organized a funeral for the cranky little fairy Navi. I wish I could say that Link stopped his selfish ways after watching the Deku pass on into the realm of perished vegetation. But, I can not, for that would be lying, and one of my close relatives once told me that lying is one of the worst things that a human being could do. And, being an author of a story that several people have unfortunately been reading, I do not want to pass these habits off to anyone else.
No, Link did not mourn over his friend's death. Instead, he immediately went to Saria, and requested that she organize a traveling party so as that he can leave to visit the Hyrule Kingdom. No sadness, no sorrow, just a quick getaway.
I must take this time to explain how a traveling party works. In Kokiri, it is illegal to travel outside of the forest without more than two people accompanying you. It does not matter the age of your companions, or the size, or width, or hair color, or number of teeth still intact within their jaw. It can be anyone other than a fairy or your own child. However, Saria knew it would take weeks to organize a traveling party.
"Link," Saria said, sadly, "It would take weeks to organize a traveling party. I'm sorry."
Link wouldn't stand for this.
"I won't stand for this!" shouted Link. "I don't care who the Kokirians are. They can be fat, skinny, short, tall, black, white, orange, blue, curly-headed, big-headed…I don't care! Just get me a traveling party NOW!"
Do you remember in the previous chapters—Chapter Two to be exact—when I said that Link was not a lady's man? Yes. That statement applies here as well.
Saria, in a flurry of fright, quickly went around Kokiri, knocking on doors, looking for people who would be willing to leave the Forest and inhabit Hyrule. Many times, she had doors slammed in her face, and trust me, it is not a good feeling when you are shunned by your own neighbors.
Link waited impatiently at the Forest's central stump, having organized a pack and armed his cheap plastic and wooden sword, and his new wooden shield that he made out of bark that he tore off the face of the Deku. He was a pitiful sight on that day; still a tad bit woozy from the three alcoholic beverages that he had consumed the night before, and armed with some of the cheapest looking armor money could have bought.
After an hour, Saria came to the rendezvous point with four other men and a woman. Link recognized only one of the group's members, and that was Creepy Castro.
Creepy Castro was one of Kokiri's many outcasts. He was what you and I would call 'schizophrenic'; he constantly spoke to himself, harnessing three separate personalities. It had always terrified the other Kokirians to watch as Creepy Castro's mind argued with itself. I must say, I personally never want to see something as disturbing as that.
However, Castro was not the worst of the group. In fact, I will tell you now that Castro was the BEST member of the team despite being a complete freak—the word 'freak' is a little light in this case. After spotting Castro, Link then saw the Rutundra Twins: Gorsh and Maliph. Both were known throughout the area as, well, different—a word which here means 'thought to be completely and totally unstable mentally and physically'.
Both of them had their own disadvantages and advantages: Gorsh was an ugly brute about seven feet tall; however, he was a genius capable of calculating a large quantity of statistics within the space of his abnormally small cranium; Maliph was a handsome fellow about five foot ten, brown hair, blue eyes, wore clean silver armor.. yet, his intelligence, or lack thereof, forced him to understand very little of what his twin counterpart spoke of. In fact, Maliph was incapable of reading, writing, or even thinking for long period of time. Not too long before this, a doctor that I eventually studied under prescribed Maliph an anti-attention medication; a drug that would prevent him from using his brain, and put him in a complete state of mindlessness—a word which here means 'a state in which you are without use of a mind' (The doctor eventually used it himself, so it's safe to say that studying under him was no use, for he was unable to teach me anything).
Now, after listening to my rambling, I am sad to say that there are two other people from the group that I still need to describe. However, to save you from boredom, I will skip that part. I will sum it up as so: the other man, Towning, is a deaf drunk; the single woman in the group is Sandrao, who is 85 years old, and has the biggest wart you've ever seen setting on the very tip of his nose. Yes, I said 'HIS nose' when describing a woman; to be quite truthful—which I must be to avoid lying—no one has been able to confirm the gender of Sandrao… It is one of the great mysteries of Kokiri.
Link turned his back to the group, and headed of towards Hyrule, expecting the group to follow; all but one did. Maliph had just taken an anti-attention pill, so he was unaware of his surroundings. Gorsh quickly slung his induced brother over his shoulder, and followed after the group.
I apologize for the sheer randomness of this chapter. However, I have always found it difficult to describe certain figures of history without distorting the public's image of them. Please continue on with this tale—or don't, if you are one of weak mind and soul—as I proceed with Link's troublesome travels and trials.
