Chapter 10
Dear Diary,
I've never been one to care about looks, but I am a little angry that I've gained about five pounds in the past week, ever since my life fell apart. Harry has been an absolute doll, letting me cry on him and sneaking to Honeydukes to steal chocolate for me. He says he pays for the chocolate, but I've got my doubts. Really, how much chocolate can you buy? And he's brought me more than a lot.
It has been exactly one week. I haven't really made much contact with anyone besides Harry, Luna, and Ginny outside of classes. Professor McGonagall asked me if I was alright after class about two days after the incident. Poor woman, I think I scared her when I burst into tears. I managed to stop crying enough to tell her I was just going through a hard time in my life and it was very stressful. She was lovely and told me to feel free to make light of my prefect duties if I felt the need to take some time off.
I hate feeling like this. Constantly depressed, always on the verge of tears. I can't look at Ron. I can't look at Malfoy either. I stopped making eye contact with pretty much everybody.
My seclusion has led to one thing. An appreciation for nature. In my spare time I sit by the window in the common room. I just pull up a chair and stare out the window. When you're not looking for anything in particular, it's amazing how much of the scene you take in. It's beautiful, really.
The past several nights I've gone up to the Astronomy Tower, the one where we took our O.W.L. for Astronomy. It's so peaceful. I just take my bag of sweets, a mug of cocoa given to me by one of the house elves, and a book. Or I take my CD played, which I charmed to work. It's one of the most relaxing things ever. Right now, I really do need my own little time to just relax.
sigh As hard as I try, Diary, I can't get him off my mind. Ron and I are through. That much is for certain. After the scene in the Common Room, he made one more attempt. But this time he didn't leave room for a scene. He walked up to me after Herbology.
Ron: Listen. I am sorry. And I want to try to make things better. But I'm not going to grovel and beg for a second chance if you won't give me one. So just tell me now. Do I have any chance of making things better with you?
Me: No, Ronald, we are through.
Ron: sighdowncast lookmope I'm sorry to hear that, Hermione. At least I loved you. That much I'm sure about. I loved you more than you'll ever know. I hope one day you'll forgive me.
He walked away after that. I was going to tell him off, but I didn't have the energy. I just didn't care anymore.
I happen to know that Malfoy witnessed that whole thing. As I turned to walk towards the castle, I saw him. He was standing by the greenhouses, and staring right at me. Part of me wanted to confront him about our little thingamajig, but I'm too much of a coward. I just stared back, really perplexed, and then he left. He smiled at me, like, a knowing sort of smile, and left.
Good frickin' lord! I'm bloody sick of this. I should have just…just never…Just never what Hermione? Never gone out with Ron? Should've never fallen in love with him? Bloody hell. I wish I hadn't…
Right now I'm in the library. But I'm relocating. It's about to close. And while Madam Pince does like me, she won't let me stay in here. So I'm going to the dorm to get my bag of goodies, then to the kitchens to visit Winky, and off to the tower. Another lonely night in my quiet reverie.
xoxox
Hermione
ten minutes later
Dear Diary,
Here I am in the Astronomy tower. Hannah Abbott and Ernie McMillan just came across me. They said they were patrolling, you know, prefect duties, but I know that's not why they came up here. They are not the only couple I've deterred from coming here.
I hear footsteps…
AN – Okay so no real action here, but I wanted to show how Hermione was handling things. Whose footsteps did she hear? Why did the entry end so abruptly? Another chapter coming your way soon! (SOON I promise!!!)
