Chapter 11
Dear Diary,
Those footsteps I heard? They belonged to none other than the Amazing Bouncing Ferret himself. I quickly charmed my quill and set you aside. Here's our conversation:
Me: What do you want?
Malfoy: You. I…I mean, I want to talk to you.
Me: We've got nothing to talk about, you and I.
Malfoy: Oh bollocks. We've got a whole bloody lot to talk about.
Diary, at this point I just tried to block him out, curling into my self and staring out the widow. What did he do? He sat down across from me and started looking out the window. For some ten minutes, we just…sat there. Then he just looked at me. And stared. I could feel his eyes on me, assessing me… When I managed to finally look at him, his eyes… they were so piercing… I felt like he actually cared in that moment. In that one moment, when our eyes met, I forgot who he was. I forgot who I was. All I wanted was to be lost in those eyes… He broke the silence, of course, really gently. His voice was so alluring I almost forgot what he was talking about… until it hit me head on.
Malfoy: Something happened, Granger…
Me: Yes. I was distraught and you, for some strange reason, consoled me. For which I am grateful. But that's all.
Malfoy: It can't be all. When I saw you crying that day, you looked like you lost your best friend.
Me: In a way I had…
Malfoy: Weasel… he hurt you didn't he?
Me: Why do you even care? For six years you harassed me and called me names! Now all of a sudden you want to talk like we're the best of friends?
Malfoy: Don't you think if I knew why I cared so much, I'd tell you already? If I knew, I'd find some way to get out of it? Something about you has captivated me, and I can't fight it any longer. I'm drawn to you, and I can't help it. I want so badly to call you those names and poke fun at you, but I can't! I have no clue why! I just can't…
Me: Oh, please, Malfoy…
Malfoy: Look, I do know one thing. That day, when I was up on my broom and saw you walking like you were drunk, I flew towards you with every intention of calling you names. But when I saw you crying, the romantic in me took over.
Me: snort Romantic?
Malfoy: Don't laugh, I'm serious. In that moment you looked so beautiful, and so pitiful. I wanted to wipe up your tears and tell you it would be okay. But coming from me, you'd probably laugh at it. So I just hugged you. I couldn't stop myself. Every fiber of me cried out that it was wrong that I should care, but they cried louder that it was wrong that you should be so sad…
Me: So basically you had a bout of SADIDS…
Malfoy: SADIDS?
Me: Save Any Damsel In Distress Syndrome.
Malfoy: Well… I guess so. But I could really care less about any damsel in distress. It was something about you that made me want so badly to console you.
Me: You're so—
Here I was cut off by his lips.
Yes.
Draco Malfoy kissed me. I wasn't crying. I wasn't playing the part of a DID. Sweet lord, Diary, he's got the softest lips… I felt like I was kissing a cloud or something really soft and yummy… like cotton candy. He made me feel so safe. His kiss took me away, out of my sadness. Thoughts of Ron and Amanda disappeared; the idea of tears was a joke; any hint of depression was covered up by an amazing sensation of retreat into mirth. In my lonely world of sadness he took me away and became my refuge, harboring me from the cruel sadness that had taken over my life.
It didn't end with his kiss… It wasn't what I imagined. It wasn't who I wanted. Who I had wanted. But in that moment all I wanted was him. His protection. The feeling of safety he gave me. I wanted to curl into him and never come back.
We buried ourselves in each other; turn our backs on any notion of a world outside of each other. Forgave our trespasses and forgot our identities. There was only him and me. We had no names as our souls unraveled into one. It was a plethora of lust and passion that felt like it would never end. And it was incredible. I always thought that my first time would be with Ron, my first. But in that moment, I would have said to hell with love. I didn't need it when I had that raw, primal energy flowing through my veins.
When he penetrated me, I didn't care about the brief, intense pain I felt. Actually, that's a lie. I reveled in it. It fed this feral creature within me, and that creature took over my body. We ravaged each other, both letting go of our inhibitions, our fears and lack of confidence, our insecurity from inexperience.
For the first time in a week I was happy. I was elated. He set me free. With his well-endowed package, he took me out of this world for two hours. And when we were done—when I had cried out his name and finally felt the world shatter within me—the Astronomy Tower was fragrant with the scent of sex and sweat. For some time we lay there, not speaking, not thinking. We lay their in our virgin ecstasy, just breathing in the sweet smell of our sexuality.
Both of us wanted to ask the one question neither wanted to hear. "Where does this leave us?" or "What does this mean?" That would mean we would have to think. We would have to take into consideration the rest of the world and whether or not this even meant anything beyond what it was when it happened: sex.
But with our newly found sexuality we were content to just be. He enveloped me in his arms and I curled into him, resting my head on his pillow. He was still aroused, I could tell that much. I fell asleep with that arousal pressed into my skin. But that was fine with me.
He woke me up at sunrise. I stood there in the window, naked for nature to see as he wrapped his arm against me and once again reminded me of how I affected him. We watched the sun wake the world up. Silently we both dressed. That didn't last long. We had sex once again on that cold stone floor. There was something about the shock of body heat mixing with the frigid, rock hard floor that excited me. Unlike the night before, I took control. I had never done this before, so I was a little unnerved when I straddled him and slid down on his hard erection. But he grasped my hips, and I his chest, and I let him have it. I forgot who I was again and found within myself that wild animal woman who could buck upon a man's penis like I did for the next hour. We both came several times, and when I finally rested, him still inside me as we rolled and he lay upon me, satiated with sex, I felt complete.
We couldn't help ourselves, so we had one last quick shag and then we left. It was like a one-night stand, or that's how we were treating it as we dressed silently and said our bewildered farewells. But neither of us can deny that it was more than that.
It has taken the whole day for it to sink in: I'm no longer a virgin. I shagged Draco Malfoy and I enjoyed it. I don't want to think about what Harry or Ginny, or hell, anyone would say if they knew. I'm going to owl Malfoy and request that he meet me tonight in the Astronomy Tower. I need to discuss with him what happened. We had sex, but we've been the worst of enemies for the past six years. But in that one night and morning of unbridled virgin sex, I knew one thing:
Malfoy or no Malfoy, he is my sanctuary.
xoxox
Hermione
AN – So what did everyone think?? I've been battling with this chapter. I don't think it really sounds like Hermione, but then I thought of how bright she is. She is so intelligent and clever, and I think when she's had seven years of education and probably read over a thousand books, she'd have a pretty poetic mind. So I let her write this entry with a dreamy girl's poetic vision of lusty teenage sex. PLEASE review, I would really like to know what everyone thinks of this.
Oh yeah, as I post this it becomes my sixteenth birthday. So I think it's really cool that I'm posting a chapter about an important teenage issue (sex) on the birthday that takes me into the years where it begins to matter. Yay! I'm sixteen! Go me!
