Alcohol can be a troublesome thing. It can turn some of the world's nicest men into complete scoundrels, and turn the more rotten boys to slumber. It is said that alcohol impairs one's judgement, and I will take this time to confirm that statement; alcohol indeed impairs one's judgement.
A good friend of mine, a cousin actually, whom went by the simple name of Yo, was drinking with a few of his buddies one night when suddenly, a stranger approached him, and asked him if he had two ten-rupees for a five-rupee. Being intoxicated, my cousin handed the stranger two ten-rupees in exchange for a five-rupee from the man. A friend of Yo's, named Cavell, realized what had happened to Yo, and approached the stranger. The stranger then apologized to Yo, saying, "I'm sorry. Here's your five-rupee, give me back my two ten-rupees." Yo agreed, and ended up being scammed yet again. Before Cavell could protest again, the stranger was gone. My dear cousin Yo never saw the man again. However, I will tell you now, that that stranger was indeed no other than my good friend Vanderof—he and I had a good laugh about it afterwards.
Now, I say that to say this: the buzz that Link had been feeling from the three alcoholic beverages he had drank earlier was slowly dying away. And, it is indeed a proven fact—based on studies made by the scientist mentioned in the First Chapter, whose name, I should inform you, is Doctor Edvard—that when a drunken Hylian loses the buzz they received from a recently consumed alcoholic beverage, they tend to go into a grumpy state of mind. That was indeed a fact, for what happened next is proof.
With the buzz steadily dissolving, Link decided that it was time for another drink. He began bouncing about, running here and there, and leaping on treetops. Sandrao and Creepy Castro continued their stroll towards Hyrule; only Gorsh and Towning stopped—Maliph was still in a period of brainlessness, a word which here means 'extremely hyped on anti-attention medication'. Looking up at Link—who was currently hopping from branch to thickly-coated branch—Towning made quick motions with his hands. Gorsh, being highly educated in the art of sign language, decided to translate.
"Towning wants to know if you want something strong to keep you going," Gorsh called up.
Link looked down at his two comrades.
"What the—EXPLICIT—does Towning got!" cried the now-crazed Link.
Gorsh nudges Towning, who proceeded to reach underneath his brown, ratty cape. He withdrew his hand, bringing with it a glass bottle of a golden liquid. To the human eye, it looked like the average crème soda—a beverage that I happened to buy from a traveling merchant not too long ago. But to a Hylian, it was much more. Perhaps it was the way the liquid glowed when hit by a stray stream of sunlight. Whatever it was, it seemed to attract Hylians, no matter how much will power they seemed to have.
Instantly, Link stopped in midair, and 'fell', for he was drifting in midair, in Towning's direction. Grabbing the bottle out of Towning's hand, Link quickly took a large swig of the shining beverage.
In a report by Doctor Edvard entitled Can You Smell What I'm Cooking?, various diagrams showed that when a Hylian loses the buzz received by some sort of illegal substance, they should wait forty-five minutes before trying to bring the feeling back. Let me point out that there was a total of forty-six seconds between the time Link lost the surge and then drank another liquor-like liquid. Edvard's report showed that failure to wait the appropriate amount of time would cause a sudden feeling of tiredness, and, not too long afterwards, cause the user to become unconscious. So, suffice to say, Link quickly fell to the ground in a deep slumber.
Towning and Gorsh looked down at their comrade, but Link had already long since fallen into a light coma.
Gorsh shrugged, and was about to sling Link over his shoulder, when out of nowhere, a dart zipped through the air, hitting Gorsh in the throat. Almost immediately afterwards, the giant of a man collapsed, dropping Maliph into a nearby ditch. Towning looked this way and that, having not heard Gorsh collapse to the ground. When he finally saw the fallen man, he raced off in a random direction, hoping to find some means of a safe haven. As Towning retreated, a figure—covered in shadows, mind you—approached Gorsh and Link; two more for the Boss's collection.
