Authors' Note: Yes, this was a CONJOINED effort. Actually, the Hyuuga one was too. But I, Artheph, put it up…and I wrote the author's note…okay, yeah that doesn't make up for it. I'm sorry for taking all the credit for writing it. Though I did write most of it…Crysthur just fixed it up a bit…okay never mind. Cough cough. Anyway, this one was MUCH harder to churn out since the Uchihas …aren't really all that funny when compared to the Hyuugas, the Naras, and an upcoming one, the Aburames. Enjoy though!
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Uchiha Clan
A really, really long time ago, the Uchiha clan elders came together for a meeting.
"Have you heard about this secret chakra supply that's going on among all the clans?"
"Yeah! We should think of one too. Wouldn't want to fall behind now, would we?"
"But what would we store our chakra in? It has to be something good."
"Something witty."
"Something important."
"Something no one else would think of."
Then one ninja sitting near the back spoke up. This guy was young, yet powerful, for he was an ANBU captain at the tender young age of 13, and one of the true genius products of the clan. Though this guy sounds a whole lot like Itachi, no, it wasn't him. The Uchiha clan just has this knack for producing genius prodigies who become ANBU leaders at ridiculously young ages. Plus, this was WAY before Itachi was born. Anyway, the great genius said, "How about a fan?"
"Brilliant!"
"It's a play on our name!"
"And it's totally not conspicuous…except, it IS conspicuous!"
No one really paid attention to that last statement.
All the elders clapped the ninja heartily on his back. He flinched a little at the touches, but no one noticed or feared that this little flinch might hide some homicidal I'm-going-to-kill-the-clan thoughts. After all, this was pre-Itachi, so there was no such paranoia. And no, this guy was not reincarnated into Itachi. Well…at least I don't think he was… though, who's to say that he wasn't?
But that is the reason why every centimeter of Uchiha-land in Konoha is covered by their little red and white fans that look like lollipops. Yes, fans are indeed the Uchiha secret chakra supply. Now it might seem they've gone a little overboard with the fan decorating, but hey, those little things don't really store THAT much chakra. And you can only have so many HUGE fans that store HUGE amounts of chakra hanging around… which explains the pure over-abundance of the little ones, see?
The nifty fans are also the reason why little Uchihas can only feel worthy of wearing the fan on their backs after they learn the Katon Goukakyuu no Jutsu. It's the first move Uchihas learn that really requires a great load of chakra. Thus, it is the time when they learn to fully utilize and appreciate the fan sitting on the back of their t-shirts.
Unfortunately, this doesn't explain the Uchihas' peculiar affinity for those large, wide collars. Perhaps the collars hide a necklace of fans or something. Or MAYBE, they hide a certain little marking. No, not Orochimaru's curse seal on Sasuke's sexy nape. Maybe, just maybe, all Uchihas have a little fan tattooed onto their body, somewhere near the neck region. Just for some extra chakra or for an emergency if their clothes get torn in a battle. The Uchihas would definitely be thinking ahead. But it doesn't hurt to be prepared, right? Or maybe I'm just reading way too much into this, and the Uchihas just like wearing large collars because their necks get cold. Though, that wouldn't make any sense either… I mean, their little collars are pretty high, sure… but they're so very wide that it doesn't really provide much protection against cold and other such weather related things… In fact, I'm betting Sasuke gets downright drafty at times. PLUS, if those collars really were to protect against the cold, they could just wear a turtleneck… but then again, turtlenecks are just ugly. I mean, have you SEEN Shikataro's turtleneck?? Yeah, I have problems with that thing. So, in conclusion, I have no idea why Sasuke likes wearing shirts with large, wide collars.
Now you might be thinking…tch, what is this loser talking about? The fan is just a symbol of their clan. But hey, I'm sure the Uchihas were smart, practical people. Might as well make the symbol, if it IS just a symbol, useful, right? Plus, if you're going to have a symbol, why choose a fan? It's not exactly inspiring, fashionable, or something that would instill fear in an enemy. Plus, none of the OTHER clans have symbols. So, no, it's not a symbol. It's their secret chakra supply that the Uchihas PRETEND is just a silly symbol so they'd have an excuse to smear it everywhere. And I mean, EVERYWHERE. I bet they have fan-decorated shower curtains, fan-shaped placemats, and even, fan-engraved bedposts. But you know… they don't actually have any fans. At least I've never seen one. Right.
