Chapter Twelve
Dear Diary,
Bloody hell. I had sex. With Draco Malfoy. I had this epiphany during Herbology class today. I was standing between Lavender and Parvati, listening to them prattle on about what they want to wear on on the next Hogsmeade trip. At one point they started talking to me about what I was going to wear, and how we'd have an awesome girl's day out. I just sort of nodded, said "Mmhmm" and "Of course" and "Sure" at the appropriate times. Of course they did notice, they're not brainless cows like some people think.
It was almost the end of the lesson, and I had just properly applied flesh-eating slug repellent to the second year's mandrakes. Apparently knowing how to use repellents in the proper fashion (not too much, where to apply, etc) is an essential in Herbology. Doesn't really matter to me right now, but despite my down-the-loo life, I still need to keep my marks up. Don't want to become second in the year or anything like that. Plus, I want to be the valedictorian of our class. When I was younger and didn't know about me being a witch, that was already my goal. To be the top in my graduating class of high school.
Since I can't do that, I'm doing it here. Woah, I totally just went off subject there. Okay, so I had just finished my assignment and I called Professor Sprout over to assess my work. She gave me the top score possible, and said something or other about a good job. So I sat on my stool and waited for class to end. Having nothing to do is bad. The mind has spare to time to think. And that is not helpful.
My mind started looking back at everything that's happened, trying to sort out how I feel about everything. First I thought about Amanda and Ron, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying. There was also a lot of rapid blinking involved.
Then I remembered my first kiss with Malfoy. I got a little flushed, remembering how wonderful and soft his lips felt.
Next thing I know I was reliving last night. My body certainly remembers how it felt... I was very flushed because I was embarrassed to be feeling like that in class. And then I pictured his face when he came, and it really sank in.
I had sex with Draco Malfoy. Twice. I gave my virginity to the boy who, for six years, harassed me, treated me like dirt, and bullied my friends. And I don't regret it.
In fact, I want more of it. Sure, I am a little sore, but there is logic in that. I mean, I was a virgin, so naturally I'm tight. So reasonably, I'd be sore for a little while because my muscles aren't used to stretching and working like they did last night.
I know in my last entry I said that it had sunk in, and it had. But it really...hit me in class.
Lav and Parvati were a little worried. They don't know... how would they react? They'd probably smack me, spit on me, spurn me and run to tell the whole school. News would spread like wildfire and soon the whole school would call me slut, and the whole house of Gryffindor would be giving me the cold shoulder. They'd call me worse things than slut. The worst would be Harry. I could give a rat's ass about what Ron says, but Harry, he's my best friend. He would probably call me names and tell me what a trollop I am, and never forgive me.
I'm probably worrying too much. It was just a one-night stand with Malfoy, and I was...grieving, I guess.
Lavender and Parvati know something happened. They have no clue what, but they know. They asked me what's going on, and what happened. They keep giving me strange looks. Right now I'm sitting on a couch in the Common Room, and they're across the room. They've been glancing at me and whispering a whole lot.
Look, they're getting up. Coming here. Shutting you now, Diary.
Well, that was interesting.
Lavender: 'Lo, Hermione. What are you writing?
Me: Just an entry in my diary.
Parvati: You keep a diary too? I've got one.
Lavender: What? You've got a diary and you didn't tell me?
Parvati: So? You may be my best mate but my diary is for privacy from everybody!
Me: .....
Lavender: I don't believe you!
Parvati: Well you've got one too!
Lavender: How d'you know?
Parvati: Oh, like you're so sneaky closing the curtains when you're writing. You'd think that nobody would notice you inconspicuously dipping your quill into your drawer.
Lavender: Wotcher! I'm very sneaky, thank you!
Parvati: Yes, you're so sneaky. We both have diaries. Let us remember why we're here.
Me: Why are you here, anyways?
Parvati: We wanted to know what you were writing about.
Me: Isn't that the point of a diary? Not having to tell people stuff?
Lavender: Aha! So, you are hiding something.
Me: Just my feelings and thoughts!
Parvati and Lavender: Mhm, sure.
Parvati: Feelings about what? Come on, Hermione, we're your gal pals. What can't you tell us?
Me: Look, I love you birds, you're my best girls, but there are some things that I just would rather right in here.
Me: holds up diary and taps it
Lavender: Well fine!
Parvati: Oh shut it, Lav. That's fine Hermione, I get it. You know you can always come talk to us, right?
Me: Thanks, Parv.
Parvati: Hey, that's what friends are for.
All of us: girly group hug
Those two are sweet. Rather amusing though, how they can bicker like old ladies. I'd continue to write, but now they're dragging me off to dinner. I guess I'll just pray for no eye contact with Malfoy.
xoxox
Hermione
AN - Thanks everyone for your reviews so far! I'm really grateful for anyone who reads this and reviews! If you like this story, tell your friends! Lol, I'm shameless.
