Authors' Note: Oh man, we'll never get sick of writing these. Though it does get pretty hard to churn out some new ideas, especially for the clans that aren't really funny. I'm really surprised I got this much out…considering Shino nor the Aburames really get that much development. But they're pretty easy to bash…sorry Shino!! Anyway, enjoy!

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Aburame Clan

Aburame Shino's favorite store was the Sunglass Hut. It was unexplainable…at least for him. Whenever he walked into the store, whenever he was surrounded by the cases of sunglasses, he felt power surge through him. It warmed him to his very fingertips. He felt happier and lighter, as if all his worries were put away for the moment. Shino would even let a grin come up on his face whenever he stepped into the Sunglass Hut. But it's not like anyone could see it because of his extremely large collar that covers up half his face. Anyway, it was like his second home. If he ever got sick of being a ninja, he'd definitely be a Sunglass Hut store clerk. So why did Shino get the feeling as if his very soul was being replenished when he walked into a Sunglass Hut? Yep. Sunglasses were the Aburames' secret chakra supply. Shino will learn all about that when he reaches the age of fourteen. Apparently, in the Aburame clan, the age of fourteen is when boys truly reach manhood and girls truly reach womanhood, and these newly turned fourteen-year-olds would learn all the clan secrets, including the one about their precious shades. But as of now, since Shino's only like twelve, he merely knows that some inexplicable, subconscious voice told him to NEVER take off his sunglasses. Or maybe it was his dad. Regardless, he'll finally understand when he comes of age. The sad thing is…we'll never ever get to see his eyes. But maybe the sunglasses hide some disgusting deformity that would make non-Aburames fall dead at the sight. …Let's not think about that right now.

Now, the Aburames were torn between having the sunglasses or their overly large collars be their secret chakra supply. Both had that mysterious-hide-the-identity-and-freak-people-out feel. But as they pondered more about it, the more cons they saw in the large collars and the more pros they saw in the sunglasses. 1) They would have to eventually take off their huge jackets that have the huge collars during the summer, or they'd die of heat exhaustion. 2) The Uchihas also liked overly large collars. What if they somehow learned about the Aburame secret chakra supply and leeched the chakra right off the Aburames? The Aburames couldn't have that happening, seeing as how they were striving to be one of the leading clans in Konoha, alongside the Hyuugas. 3) You'd think the Aburames would have to take off their sunglasses at night. However, the Aburames have their own sense of logic. See, even if they DID take off their sunglasses at night, they still wouldn't be able to see in the dark, so there'd really be no point in taking off the shades. Makes perfect sense, yeah? At least it does to them, and that's all that matters.

Okay, so this has never been shown in the Naruto anime or manga, but then again, we've never seen the Aburame compound, so you can't really disprove it. The point is: Aburame homes are FULL of cabinets that are FULL of sunglasses. Chock full. Shino probably spends fifteen minutes every morning, trying to decide which pair to wear for the day. Or maybe he has a pattern, like I'll wear this one on the right every other Monday of April and this one on the second to the farthest left every fourth Saturday of every other two months. Now, I should clarify. It may seem as if he's wearing the same pair of shades everyday, but he REALLY isn't. We just don't get those close up looks, so we can't see the designer's subtle details that separate one pair from another. But I will admit, most of Shino's shades are round. It seems those can hold the most chakra. Of course, Shino doesn't really know why he always chooses the round ones. It's that inexplicable, subconscious voice again. Or maybe it was his dad. Minor details like that don't matter. Only the ones on the sunglasses do.

Now, one day, those dandy chakra bugs of the Aburames' were jealous. Of the shades. That's because Aburames spend many, many hours polishing their precious sunglasses after training and mission. The bugs were beginning to feel neglected since hey, the bugs need some lovin' too. So back to that one day. Their jealousy just boiled over, and they felt they HAD to seek revenge on those pampered glasses. Therefore, whilst most of the Aburames were happily sleeping in the dark of the night, a swarm of bugs flew to a cabinet of sunglasses. They were about to destroy the whole mass of shades when they found…they couldn't do it. You see, the sunglasses store chakra that's well…from the bugs. So, the bugs would be…destroying themselves if they destroy the glasses. After all, the Aburames draw chakra from their bugs. Basically, they don't even need a secret chakra supply in the first place. But they didn't want to be left out of the clan trend of coming up with a secret chakra supply, so they had their whole discussion thing about whether to have their collars or their shades be their secret chakra supply holders, even though it was all pretty pointless. Anyway…after the whole try-to-destroy-the-sunglasses escapade, the bugs have come to terms with the shades. Go sunglasses!