Authors' Note: Okay, so this story right here was written by me, Crysthur. BUT, due to certain circumstances which I shall outline right now, the author's note shall be from both of us. JOY! So I'm sure that for quite a few of you, January is a month that's not very welcome. I mean, yeah, sure, my birthday just HAPPENS to be in this month, but alas, great as that is, it cannot offset the horribleness that is… DUN DUN DUNNNNN, the end of the semester. Ahh, yes. And with the end of the semester comes… DUN DUN DUNNNNNN… finals. That pesky little word that both of us are beginning to despise with a passion. For the past week, we have been doing nothing but study. Study study study. We're SO VERY SICK OF IT. Ahh, and tomorrow, the day finally comes when finals actually begin. From then, it's just FOUR FULL DAYS OF PURE, UNADULDERATED CRAPPINESS. OH WOE IS US! SOBS So, in conclusion, the reason we have not been updating is because we're too busy trying to stuff every piece of information we possibly can about European history and electrons into our heads to think about writing. Oh, and to all of you out there who are going through the same thing we are, we feel your pain. And all of you out there who are laughing at us because you've already got your finals over with… I hate you. Not really. But close enough. On another note, we JUST could not withhold this little observation from you, special reader. Remember that little tiny Sasuke scene from the Neji episode a couple of weeks back? Yeah, the one where Sasuke's hair is all crazed up and his arms are spread outwards? Much like…JESUS? I SWEAR, now I'm not trying to make fun of religion or anything, but HECK, Sasuke REALLY, REALLY looks like Jesus. Well, ok, not LOOK, but…was in the same position as Jesus. And that REALLY disturbed us. I mean, Sasuke's hair was already all wacked and ugly, and then Kishimoto or the anime people just HAD to put him in the same position Jesus was as he was crucified. But Neji was pretty sexy in some parts…except he looked like Haku at the end, which was almost as disturbing the Sasuke/Jesus thing. Wow…this is a really long authors' note…I bet you'd like to get to the chapter now eh? Then, enjoy!
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The Yamanaka Clan
Yamanaka Inoshi was walking down the street one day. If one observed him closely, one would notice that he would stop occasionally and place his hand in his pocket, glancing at whatever was in there while shooting furtive looks around him. Then, he would withdraw his hand, apparently reassured, and continue on walking, only to stop a couple of minutes later and repeat the process all over again. If one had x-ray vision, one could use this awesome x-ray vision power to see that this mysterious object in Inoshi's pocket that had his underwear all up in a twist was nothing more than a measly little flower. But of course, no one ever observes Yamanaka Inoshi closely, for he is just a less-than-minor character who is the father of a slightly less less-than-minor-character. And why, oh why, would such a manly man as Inoshi be obsessing over a flower in his pocket? Well, obviously, flowers are the secret chakra supply of the Yamanakas. A durr.
Now, you might be thinking, "So what… flowers store chakra?" No no, you misunderstand. Okay, yeah, that's true, but it's not the only thing that's true. See, the Yamanaka clan's secret chakra supply is special. They are not like all the other clans. Not only do these flowers store chakra… they also PRODUCE chakra. Whoa. So now, you might be thinking, "So… flowers store AND produce chakra?" No no, you misunderstand. I mean, how is it possible that it JUST SO HAPPENS that the Yamanakas are the ONLY ONES who know about the SECRET CHAKRA STORING AND PRODUCING ABILITIES OF FLOWERS? Of course not. That would just be plain silly. See, the Yamanakas actually BREED their own special chakra-storing-AND-producing-flowers. So if you're thinking, "So… the Yamanakas breed special mutated flowers which store AND produce chakra?" You'd actually be right.
This also conveniently explains just why such a manly man as Inoshi owns a flower shop. I mean, it's the perfect cover. No one would ever think twice about why Inoshi or anyone else in the Yamanaka clan always seems to have a flower on their person. They'd just pass it off as, "Oh, it's from the flower shop that the clan owns. I can't IMAGINE how it got into my pocket." So basically, the flower shop is just a front. All those flowers they sell in there are just wimpy normal flowers that do not have any special chakra storing AND producing abilities. Oh no, the special mutated chakra-storing-AND-producing-flowers are all in a secret laboratory in the back. Think… mad scientist-like laboratory. With Inoshi wearing a pair of those dorky chemistry goggles and a white lab coat… with his manly ponytail (though not NEARLY as manly as the manly ponytails the men of the Nara clan sport, just because the blondness of Inoshi's hair takes away from the manly-ness) all askew. And he's bent over a little Petri dish with some dirt in it, watching a little tiny sprout with a fanatical fervor in his eyes. "Yessss, grow my little special mutated chakra-storing-AND-producing-flower… GROW!!" Evil cackles ensue. Yes, this is, in fact, how Inoshi spends most of his time when he's not out on a mission or walking down the street while neurotically checking his pockets for his special mutated chakra-storing-AND-producing-flower. Yeah… he's just a wee bit obsessed. Just a little bit.
So how exactly DID these special mutated chakra-storing-AND-producing-flowers that only the people of the Yamanaka clan know about come to be? Well, you may not know this, but Konoha has a secret organization called Scientists Who Use Chakra In Their Science Experiments, or WUS for short. Okay, so yeah, you'd THINK that they'd make is SWUCITSE for short, but they decided that that was way too long and far too hard to pronounce to be a very effective abbreviation, so they settled for... WUS. Don't ask why. So anyways, WUS members aren't actually ninjas… no, they're SCIENTISTS who just… HAPPEN to have chakra that they use in their science experiments. So one day a long time ago, an exceptionally bright WUS member was experimenting on flowers and suddenly found himself with a flower that stored AND produced chakra.
"GASP!!!" he gasped. "I MUST go inform the other WUS members of my ASTONISHING achievement!! This will REVOLUTIONALIZE BOTANY AS WE KNOW IT!!" and he ran off into the streets holding his special mutated chakra-storing-AND-producing-flower out at arm's length like the geek that he was.
Now, this exceptionally bright WUS member was really very excited about his find. I mean, who wouldn't be? Flowers that stored AND produced chakra? Hot diggity. So he wasn't really looking where he was running, and what do you know, he ran SMACK DAB into some ancestor of the Yamanaka clan. Whilst this exceptionally bright WUS member was groveling on the floor in pain, the random ancestor of the Yamanaka clan grew curious as to why this fellow was running around carrying a flower at arm's length… so he did what any normal person would do and completely invaded the guy's privacy by entering into his mind using one of those awesome mind jutsus the Yamanakas are famous for. Thus, this random ancestor of the Yamanaka clan found out about the special mutated chakra-storing-AND-producing-flowers. And of course, doing what any normal person would do, he took the special mutated chakra-storing-AND-producing-flower to use for his clan's secret chakra supply and wiped the unfortunate, though exceptionally bright WUS member's memory. So in this totally immoral way, these special mutated chakra-storing-and-producing-flowers became the Yamanaka clan's secret chakra supply. And that exceptionally bright WUS member never knew just how ripped off he was.
