:Chapter Sixteen:
Dear Diary,
Life is fantastic! I've got a great boyfriend. Of course, my best friends hate me right now, not to mention my whole House. I get whispers of "slut," "traitor," and "bitch" every hour of every day in the hallway. A lot of the post now includes hate mail. I've gotten my books knocked out of my arms 57 times so far. And I can't even eat a meal without something being done to my food.
I have Draco, so I'm okay. If I didn't have him to talk to at night and to keep me company when I would otherwise be with my friends, I would go nutters. I don't know how I'm surviving with out Ginny to talk to or Harry to do homework with. My friends are the world to me and now they hate me. All because of a boy. It's ironic… Ginny used to always promise me that no matter who she was dating, she'd always have time for me. And now it's who I'm dating that's the problem. I wish I could just talk to her… I've approached her three times since the "incident," as I like to call it.
Oh, Diary, I just don't know what to do. I want to keep my friends, but I want to keep Draco, too. Still, I feel like that's impossible. I want so badly for Ginny to talk to me, for things to be like they always have been. But that can't happen if I'm with Draco. I can't give him up, though. He's the only thing that really takes away the pain when I see Ron.
Earlier today, Draco and I were walking around after lunch. We came across Ron and Amanda making out by the lake. My heart leapt into my throat. I almost turned away and ran to my room to cry, but one squeeze from Draco's hand and it was fine. He makes me strong…
This is all so bizarre. My best friends hate me and my worst enemy is now my boyfriend. It's my soddin' sixth year in school. Life is supposed to be EASY. Not complicated as all hell and stressful to the last drop!
Right now I'm sitting outside, watching the Gryffindor team practice at the pitch. Naturally they are all giving me mean glares as they fly by me. I don't care. They think that because I'm giving up on House differences and finding a good person inside of Draco Malfoy that I'm a traitor. Fine. The only people I want to understand my seeing Draco and be my friends despite it are Harry and Ginny.
Ginny's landing now. I think she's done. Ever since Harry's been back on the team as Seeker, she's been playing Beater. She's a great Beater. Even I, the sports-illiterate, can tell that. Granted, if I were to say that to her now, she'd probably spit in my face. Why is she walking through the stands towards me now? I'm pretending not to notice her, but I can't help but wonder why she's coming over here? Tp insult me?
I'll use my Quick Quotes Quill….
Ginny: Hermione.
Me: Um, hello… Ginny.
Ginny: Why are you here?
Me: I do attend school here, you know.
Ginny: I don't mean Hogwarts. I mean why are you here in the stands, watching us practice?
Me: I have always enjoyed watching you practice, you know that. Besides, I needed some solitude to write in my diary.
Ginny: Gushing about your boyfriend, most likely. The most bitter statement I've ever heard, Diary.
Me: For your information, I was writing about Draco, but I wasn't gushing. I was asking myself why everybody HATES me now.
Ginny: You think we hate you?
Me: Well, generally calling someone names and abandoning your friends does fit into the category of hating someone.
Ginny: laughs
Ginny: Hermione, we don't hate you. Harry feels betrayed, and I feel hurt. But we don't hate you. We just don't understand it.
Me: What is there to understand?
Ginny: Why are you dating him! How can you just turn your back on your friends and fall for the boy who's made your life a living hell for the past six years? It's DRACO MALFOY, for God's sake! We've all had this unofficial "We Hate Draco Malfoy" club since you three started here, and now, you're dating him! It just doesn't make sense!
Me: What does make sense? That Ron cheated on me, that Harry fell in love with Luna, that you're seeing a boy who doesn't even go here? Since when does anything make sense?
Ginny: Hermione, I'm sorry that Ron cheated on you. We still haven't forgiven him. At least I haven't… But the fact that he cheated on you doesn't mean you've got something to prove. It doesn't mean you should date Malfoy!
Me: That's…that's not why I'm seeing him.
Ginny: Then WHY?
Me: Ginny… It's hard to explain.
Ginny: Hermione, please. I've felt betrayed ever since Ron told us that you were kissing him in the hall. I thought that we could tell each other everything, and then you went and hid him from me. Please. I wish I could understand this but I can't.
Me: I'm sorry… I wanted to tell you. I did. It wasn't like I was hiding a relationship from you… I barely understood what was going on myself. The day that I caught Ron kissing Amanda… I couldn't breathe. I ran away… I punched Ron and I ran away. I told you this, and I remember… I also told you that I cried for an hour before coming back to my room. But I lied. I did cry, but I had someone's shoulder to cry on…
Ginny: Malfoy?
Me: Yes… After I'd run nearly halfway around the school, I collapsed, and Draco caught me. He held me until I couldn't cry anymore…and then he kissed me. And I kissed back. Granted, I didn't really realize it was him. I saw his face… but it didn't register that I was kissing DRACO MALFOY until about an hour or so later. I had stopped crying, and I realized I'd been making out with him of all people… I ran back to our rooms…
Ginny: And so now you're dating him?
Me: No… you know how I spent my nights in one of the Astronomy Towers after Ron cheated on me? Well, a few nights after our kissing, Malfoy found me and well… we talked, and things got heated… and we had sex, Ginny. We had sex. And then again a few days later, by the Pitch. I tried to stay away from him after that, but he confronted me.
Ginny: Wait, you had SEX? With Malfoy? And you didn't tell me? Maybe I should be more hurt than I already was!
Me: Please, I know, it's a surprise… It shocked me too. I mean, sex, in itself, was a shock. Ginny… it was amazing. It made me realize what I was doing. I was being close with the one person I've ever really hated. I tried to get him to leave me alone, but… he told me he couldn't. He told me that he has seen me for who I am… not what I am. He said that he wanted to know me for me, to know more than just sex. I know it sounds strange… but I believe him. I trust that he really wants to know me and love me… He makes me feel safe, Ginny. Strong. Today was the first time I saw Amanda and Ron and didn't cry. I wanted to run like hell, but I didn't because he was holding my hand.
Ginny: Hermione, I love you, but you sound insane.
Me: I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you any of this. I wish I'd told you. I should have. I'm so sorry Ginny. You're my best friend and I want you to be there for me. I can't really expect that if I don't tell you anything…
Ginny: I can't say I support this. Not yet… I'll try, for you. I'm sorry I was so quick to judge. From what it sounds like… Maybe I should give Malfoy a shot. For you. But… let me digest it all first okay?
Me: Ginny, have I told you that you're as brilliant a woman as your mother?
Ginny: No. I'm scarier than her.
We both laughed for a while until Harry called for Ginny. A team meeting. She left with the parting words "The House doesn't hate you. We're just scared of change. Harry's different though. You're gonna have to work to get him to get past this."
So in one day, I've gone from feeling hated to feeling feared. If what Ginny said is true, then the Gryffindors are just afraid of what I'm doing. Bridging a gap between Houses. Well, not intentionally. However, I suppose that if I'm going to date a Slytherin, I met as well make it alright for any other Gryffindors, now or in the future, to do so as well.
I'm really happy that Ginny doesn't hate me. I don't expect her to suddenly love Draco and want us to get married and have lots of babies. Her getting along with him would be nice for now. We'll see how that turns out. Harry…. I'll have to think about Harry after I figure out Ginny.
I'm going now. It's dinnertime, and Draco promised me a nice dinner alone in the Heads Dorms.
xoxox
Hermione
AN – Sorry it took me so long to update! I guess I got a life. I haven't written anything in months. But I remembered this story, and I wanted to update. It's been hard trying to get it going. I can't say this is the best chapter… But I've got an idea of where this is going. Please review!
On a side note, to whoever "BuckNC" is, if you don't like my story, DON'T READ IT. It's not hard to just change the URL address and not read a story. I don't give a crap what you think about my grammar, my dialogue, or my plot line. I'm happy if people like my story and if they don't then they don't have to read it. Am I supposed to be grateful? For your oh-so-helpful comments? I have read the Harry Potter books, yes, read, not just skimmed. I don't see why that matters, seeing as fanfiction is not supposed to be 100 canon or in-character all the time.
To anyone who read this story, go ahead. Don't like it. Nobody's forcing you to read it. I'm grateful for everyone who reads it and leaves me a good review with constructive criticism. If you're only going to sit there and attack my story, don't review. Thank you.
