Happy birthday, Hish!

by Odeena Skywalker

Chapter 4: The kidnapping

It seemed that this day was not going to be my day after all. As Figwit and I entered my home sweet home (not!), we were both greeted by a very sulky Elrond, who promptly informed us that Hish had been--

"--kidnapped", Elrond finished, looking at me miserably. "And - and - look what they did to my new robes!"

"You look like a true warrior now", Figwit said admiringly. "Your torn clothes, if anything, testify that what you said is true, down to the last sentence."

I rolled my eyes. My very best friend had been kidnapped, and these two had nothing better to do than to sit there and discuss about clothes! Just as I was about to burst into an avalanche of swears and curses that most definitely couldn't be rewritten here, Aragorn came out of the kitchen, with a bag of chips in each hand. When he saw us, he stopped short.

"What... happened?" he asked, raising an eyebrow just like Elrond usually did. The comparison made me smile a little despite myself.

"Hish was kidnapped, and al that this moron here--"

"I beg your pardon!"

"--as I was saying, all that this moron", I emphasized, ignoring Elrond's highly offended expression and Figwit's obvious confusion, "can think of is to complain about the state of his new robes!" My voice was gaining in intensity. "I can't believe it! I'm surrounded by... by..."

"Friends", Aragorn said quietly. "Let us help you."

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "I hate the world", I muttered.

"There, there." Aragorn patted me on the back, "Calm down."

I sighed. Then, I turned to Elrond. "Who kidnapped her?" I asked tiredly.

"A mob", he answered immediately.

"A... mob?" I repeated, puzzled. "What do you mean, a mob?"

"Well--" Elrond shuddered "--there were about ten or twelve of them, both men and women, children, adults and elders... It was like they had gone mad all of a sudden. I was outnumbered. I couldn't do anything. They... they ruined my robes!"

"Oh, would you forget about your robes already!" I snapped. "Where did they take her?"

Elrond shrugged. "As if I'd know! What am I, psychic?"

"Wait just a minute", Aragorn cut in. "You mean to tell us that this mob attacked you and Hish out of the blue?"

"Yes", Elrond stated immediately.

"That's weird", I muttered. "Why would they--"

I was interrupted by the high-pitched ringing tone of my cell-phone. I shook my head as I took it out of my rucksack and saw who was the one calling.

"Hi, Paul", I said in a flat voice. "Bad time to call me. Go away."

'I just wanted to wish you a good trip', Paul said in the sweetest of voices, apparently not taking note of my obvious annoyance.

"Yeah, thanks a lot. Listen--"

'So where are you going?'

"I have no idea", I answered, and this was the plain truth, as I'd forgotten the name of the city just after I had heard it from my mum. "I really have to--"

'I hope you have a great time. After all, you deserve it. And I hope you'll think about me... from time to time... you know...'

"Yeah, I'll send you a postcard. Now get lost." I hung up unceremoniously and slapped my forehead, muttering, "Boys..."

"Is he still hopelessly in love with you?" Aragorn asked, tilting his head a little.

"Take a wild guess... Now, where were we?"

Both Elrond and Figwit opened their mouths to speak, but they were once again interrupted by the ringing of my cell-phone. This time, the caller's ID was hidden.

"Paul, I thought I told you to get l--"

'That's extremely sweet of you, Odeena, but I'm not Paul, I'm Hish.'

"Hish?" I practically cried out. "Oh my Gosh! Are you all right?"

'Well, I am, now...' Hish sighed. 'But you aren't going to believe what I went through.'

"Where are you?" I cut in.

'I... have absolutely no idea.'

"Lovely", I sighed under my breath. "Listen, what can you see around you?"

'Let's see... Trees... trees... and more trees. I think I'm in a forest of sorts...'

"I know it, it's just outside the city. But... how on Earth did you get there?" I asked, puzzled.

'It's a long, long story... Besides, my cell phone is running out of batteries.'

"Hold on, I'll send someone to get you right away. Or better still... I'm coming to get you myself", I said, glaring sideways at Elrond and Figwit.

'All righty, I'll hold... Just don't take too long, OK? Oh, and one more thing... Could you bring Figwit with you?'

I rolled my eyes. 'Do I have to...?' I asked myself inwardly. But instead of asking this pointless question, I said, "OK", and hung up. After that, I grabbed Figwit's hand.

"Come on, elf boy", I said, practically dragging him out the door and ignoring his half-astonished, half-scandalized questions.

"But where are we going?!" he shouted as I pushed him on the back seat of my car.

"Field trip", I answered briefly as I thrust the key into the contact.

Author's note: Ta-daa! New chapter! Thanks for the ideas for this one, Hish! The review responses go as follows:

midnitest4rz: Thank you! And yep, stilettos are painful. But I thought I shouldn't be that cruel... :)

Omega XSabre: I've already posted 'Lifestyle' on timestreamer, but Moebius kinda forgot to put up the 18th chapter, or at least I suppose she did... Anyway, you can read it on my own site, at www.odeena.tk And although I risk being banned, let me say it with all my heart - is EVIL!

Filia Regalis: Giant Tweezers of Death? cracks up Girl, that is SO hilarious. Thanks for the idea! I'll most definitely use it in the next chapter! Oh, and 'The Fellowship of the Fanfic Writers' will be updated next, so stay tuned!

ApocalypticPyro: Thank you very much!