Happy birthday, Hish!
by Odeena Skywalker
Chapter 5: Mischief managed...
As I sped towards the forest just outside my city, where I would hopefully find Hish at last, my thoughts raced as well. Time and again, I tried to figure out just why a mob would attack my best friend and Elrond out of the blue. Strange enough, the only reason that came to my mind was Elrond's arrogance and probably his refuse to give all of them autographs. Similar situations had occurred before, usually with Glorfindel, Haldir or some other hot elf who plainly didn't understand the point of signing various bits of paper, t-shirts, baseball caps and so on.
On the other hand, Figwit was of very little help, seeming infinitely more interesting in making various comments about the people and places he saw out the window. For the first time ever, I wished that my car had shutters, and I made a mental note to myself to get some of those as soon as I had the chance...
"I can't believe that a woman would dress like that!" Figwit exclaimed as we passed by a very colorful punk girl. "Her outfit reminds me of a Uruk-Hai. Is she the servant of a Dark Lord?"
"I never heard of any band called 'Dark Lord', but if you want to, I can look it up..." I muttered in reply, my thoughts a hundred miles away from punkers and bands. "Listen, do you think--"
"And that man! What is that red... thing he is eating? Is it blood? He must be a vampire..."
"That's probably a cherry ice-cream bar, elf", I sighed, feeling my stomach tighten painfully in reminder that I hadn't eaten anything today save for a few pancakes in the morning. "And no, he's not a vampire. Could you possibly--"
"What a lovely tunic that man has! I've never seen one like that before! I must remember to--"
"Figwit!"
He started up and accidentally banged his head on the car ceiling. "What?" he grunted, rubbing the area where he had hit himself and looking utterly miserable. However, I couldn't care less. I pulled over, stretched and opened the door on his side. "Get. Out. Now."
He cocked an eyebrow, clearly surprised. "What...?"
"I said, get out now. Before I throw you out myself."
"But... you can't just leave me here!" His voice now ringed with alarm. "You can't!" he repeated, slightly louder as I gave him a shove.
"Of course I can", I replied as sweetly as I could. "You can just bore the crap out of the first passer-by you come across. I've had it."
"I'll be quiet..." he said meekly as understanding finally kicked in.
I looked at him suspiciously. "Cross your heart and hope to die?"
"What...?
"(sigh) Do you promise you'll behave?"
He put his right hand on his chest, over his heart. "You have my word."
Incredible how corny these elves can be.
"Fine, elf", I muttered, closing the door. "But - one more word that is off-topic, and I swear to the Valar that I'll dump you on the side of the road like a bag of doughnuts gone bad."
"What...?"
"Aw, never mind..."
Eventually, we reached our destination, without any other notable incident save for Figwit getting car-sick and a love message from Paul, which I wisely chose to ignore. Then, using Figwit's Extraordinary Elven Sight (EES for short) and my never-failing feminine instinct, we spotted a bundle wrapped up in a green sari which sat on a boulder some distance off the road. As you probably guessed by now, that bundle was my best friend, Hish. She was delighted to see us...
"So, what happened?" I asked, after Hish was comfortably seated in the back of my car and we sped towards my home.
"Well... You aren't going to believe this."
"Try me."
"Okay..." Hish shifted in her seat, finding a more comfortable position. "Elrond must have told you that we were attacked by a mob on the way home."
"Yup, he said that... emphasizing on the fact that his new robes had been damaged beyond recovery." I snorted.
"That definitely sounds like something the Guy with the Magical Eyebrows and Funny Fashion Tastes would say." We both chuckled. "Anyway, as it turned out, this mob was part of some sort of a gypsy clan who thought that I was their long-lost daughter or something."
I choked. "You... their long-lost daughter?"
"Yep, me. Can you believe it?"
I shook my head. "No", I said honestly.
"The took me to this camp outside the city, plainly ignoring the fact that I could barely understand what they were saying and I had absolutely no resemblance to any of them. They made me wear this... thing (Hish gestured to her sari, which was at least two numbers too big for her), and it took them a while to figure that I wasn't the one they were looking for. After that... well, they kinda just threw me out without any ceremony. You'd think they'd at least apologize after all the mess they've made..."
I sighed. "Some people are like that... But thank the Valar that it all ended well. Right?"
She smiled, "Yep."
"All righty then..." I grinned as an idea came to my mind. "Now, how about you sit back, relax and enjoy a brief tour of the city?"
"Sounds fun! One thing though..."
"Yes?"
"Could you stop by at a fast-food for a second? I haven't eaten in ages..."
"Sure. But before I do that..." I pulled over again and poked the elf. "Pretty please get in the back."
"But--"
I frowned a little, lowering one eyebrow slightly more than the other - another move I'd caught from Elrond. "Get. In. The. Back."
Simple and efficient. I grinned at the two, who were apparently doing their best to keep as far away from each other as possible. "My, what a lovely couple you two make", I said, winking at their puzzled expressions. "Now, do sit back and enjoy the tour. First stop - my favorite junk food place, Fantastic Fast Food!"
Author's note: (yawns and stretches) It's 6:15 in the morning... and I'm very proud that I finally managed to finish this chapter. Again, credit for the ideas goes to my friend, Hish. I hope you liked it! The review responses go as follows:
Eris aka midnitest4rz : Well, believe it or not, Eris is one of my favorite goddesses from Greek mythology! But I prefer Athena... she's smart, pretty and kicks butt. However, mindless violence, chaos and destruction are good... And I use my classmates as punching bags too lol.
Filia Regalis: Yup, you're right... I should focus on one or two stories. But I can't help it, these are just too much fun to write! Although it takes me a while to update now, seing as real life is a bugger... (sigh)
RuThatCurious: I updated... Sorry for the wait. (blush)
