Himizu-chan: Woohoo! I'm updating again and my exams are over! Life is good.

Hiei: I can change that.

Himizu-chan: Shoo! Stupid demon!

Hiei: I saw what you wrote in there! Don't you dare post it!

(Himizu-chan sticks her tongue out at Hiei)

Himizu-chan: Ignore him. It's a great chapter. He just doesn't like his role in it.

(Sounds of Hiei cursing)

Himizu-chan: Um… yeah. Well, reviewer responses!

Nobody: Um… nice name… Yeah… I know that chapter didn't make much sense and I probably could have done better, but it was exam week. I'm sorry, but I'm glad you thought it was funny.

wonderingprophet: Shame on you, reading this during exams. And my standards are not too high and this will get finished! Cheese! And I'm glad you found it funny. Now stop bothering me during English class!!!

Samantha: No big deal, I have words that I use all the time too… And I'm glad you think it's funny… Everyone thinks my story is funny!!! Yay!!!

Time and Fate: Short-term memory loss is nothing to worry about. Lots of people I know suffer from it, including me… and what was I talking about??? JK! Glad you liked my story.

Forestmage: Kitsune, you rule!!! Now Saru-chan will stop bothering me! Yes, I will mention that you have a boyfriend and that you don't really act like that... I think I already did, but I'll do it again. KITSUNE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND SHE IS ACTING OOC IN THIS FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope this is satisfactory.

So now before Hiei can chop my head off, I'm posting this. Enjoy!

Chapter 4

"Well isn't this just lovely!" cried Botan. "We're all getting along so well!"

Himizu gazed carefully at Botan. "Tell me, Botan, just how many cups of coffee do you consume on a daily basis? Or are you really that ditzy?"

"What do you mean?" asked Botan, confused.

"Look around you. Ryouko's and my throats are bleeding thanks to that sadistic fire demon, Ryouko's phone line has been sheared, although I'll admit it was repaired, Kuwabara has been glaring daggers at me since he arrived, and Yusuke is unconscious on the floor because he asked me to strip. Does this look like we're getting along?"

Botan looked around. "It looks like a typical day at Koenma's palace to me, only without the ogres and the room is smaller so there aren't as many people here." Himizu did a classic face-fault and Koenma looked up in surprise.

"This looks like the office?"

"Only in the workroom, sire, not in your office."

"I see," he said slowly. "Is that why you're never at the palace and you're always drinking coffee?"

Botan blushed. Himizu leapt up triumphantly. "I knew it! I knew it! You're a caffeine addict! Just like me!"

"I only do it to escape the constant pandemonium of the palace. If I'm a bit nuts, I can bear the craziness of the workroom. Oh, it's such a beautiful world where we all get along so well! It makes a girl want to sing!"

Koenma frowned. "That's it! No more coffee for you!"

But Koenma-sama!!!" Botan whined. "How will I survive? I've seen ogres throw themselves into the river Styx after you've cut back on their coffee. Do you want me to join them?"

"It hasn't hurt them and it won't hurt you. You're the Grim Reaper. Give me a break."

Kitsune rubbed a hand across her forehead. "I'm glad I don't work there."

"Yeah Kitsune, you might actually become a caffeine addict. Fates preserve us! Responsible and sober Kitsune could become a caffeine addict!" Himizu pretended to swoon.

"Himizu, knock it off or I'm going to force Botan and Koenma to take you to the Spirit World with them," Ryouko told her firmly.

"Fine. I'll introduce Mountain Dew. I'll start the very first Mountain Dew factory and sell it to the ogres at a high price. Of course, I'll also get as much Mountain Dew as I want. The only thing that bothers me is that I might not have Internet access or be able to watch wonderful Blue Jacket games and see wonderful, and extremely hot, Rick Nash."

"And if you mention Rick Nash one more time, I'm going to let Kuwabara and Hiei loose on you and make sure that you get no Blue Jackets access in the Spirit World!" exclaimed Ryouko vehemently.

"NO BLUE JACKETS!!?!?!?!?!?!? OH THE AGONY, THE AGONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" wailed Himizu.

"Nuts. She's absolutely nuts," Ryouko cried."

All of a sudden, the door opened. Himizu turned, her face a picture of miserable resignation. Jin and Touya came in. Himizu groaned in misery at the sight of two new figures of torture that now seemed to be constantly materializing. Ryouko ran forward and hugged Jin. Hiei glared murderously at the Wind Master. Kitsune lifted her eyebrows.

"Methinks we have a love triangle."

Ignoring her friend, Ryouko began stroking Jin's hair. "Ooohhh, fluffy! Ouch, your horn's so sharp. Ahhh, fluffy hair!"

Hiei was now fingering his katana delicately. Himizu twitched and slid away, even though Hiei's gaze was directed towards Jin.

"Upon my honor, has the Wind Master found an admirer?" Touya questioned.

"Did you figure that out all by yourself?" Himizu asked patronizingly. "And I'm wondering something. Are your bangs made of ice? Or is it just some nutty effect caused by your bizarre powers?"

"Did you just insult my honor?" Touya demanded.

Himizu sighed. It was useless. These demons were all insane, not to mention touchy. "What if I did?" she snapped right back.

"Then you die."

"You know, this is really getting old. Do you have any idea how many times someone has threatened to kill me today. Will you people get another line already?"

Touya's eyes had narrowed until they had almost vanished beneath their lids. It was a very menacing picture. But Himizu appeared unfazed.

"Go away, ice demon. And take your ridiculous honor with you."

Kitsune and Kurama seized Touya's arms to stop him from attacking Himizu, who looked very annoyed with the whole process. However, Ryouko, Jin, and Hiei were amusing her. Ryouko was now questioning Jin about his genetics, but, unlike Hiei, Jin seemed to be enjoying the questions. His giant expressive blue eyes seemed to expand as he pondered the answer to the question and replying in his quaint Irish accent, which Himizu enjoyed. She had two major weaknesses when it came to boys: long hair and accents, preferably Irish or Canadian. She was finding herself staring at Jin, totally ignoring everything else around her as she mentally compared Jin to Rick Nash. Kitsune was overcome with an attack of the giggles.

"Did I say love triangle? I must have meant love square. Or should it be love rectangle?"

"Kitsune? Shut up. Please." Himizu's voice was unusually calm, plainly indicating that Kitsune's estimate had no grounds. However, Hiei was looking as though he had just seen a saint, although this isn't the best of metaphors because Hiei would probably kill a saint, but you know what we mean. Now he was staring calculatingly at her and beginning to inch closer to him. As soon as he was near enough to whisper to her, he cleared his throat but Himizu stopped him. "Whatever you want, I'm not doing it. That's the last thing I'm going to do, help you in one of your evil plans. If I'm going to take over the world, I'm doing it as leader, not as the servant of a maniac fire demon."

Hiei allowed himself a slight grin, plainly exposing his dragon-like fangs. "That's not what I want to do at the moment. I want you to help me get rid of Jin."

"That's even worse! First I have to pretend to be in love with the Wind Master, then Ryouko will try to kill me and you'll let her because you won't need me anymore."

"What if I said I was willing to protect you?"

"I would say that you were lying, tell you to kiss my butt, and to buzz off." Hiei opened his mouth to say something, but Himizu stopped him by thrusting her hand in front of his face. "Talk to the hand. I'm doing nothing."

"What if I told you I could guarantee that no YYH cast member would ever attack you and that I could get the Blue Jackets to visit your house?"

Now Himizu looked interested. "You have my attention. But how would you pull that off?"

"Which?"

"Both.

"Easy. The YYH cast will listen to me." Hiei touched his right arm meaningfully. "As for the Blue Jackets, that is also easy." The band around his forehead seemed to glow momentarily.

"If you even think about possessing Rick Nash or Nikolai Zherdev, you will find out what it means to have normal sight because I will personally rip that Jagon from your head away from your twisted brain."

"Don't you trust me?"

"No."

"Very wise. You just might live longer."

Himizu sniffed in annoyance. "There are a lot of things you have to do if you want to live longer. One of them is not to trust anyone, especially you!"

"Are you sure you're not a demon?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm quite sure. If I was a demon, I would not be in here conversing with you, I would be out destroying the world."

Hiei's eyes narrowed. "Are you threatening me? It's my job to take over the world."

"It's a self-appointed task and I've just decided to appoint that task to myself."

"Without demon powers, you will fail for sure."

"Have you ever heard of Hitler? If you haven't, read about him. Then tell me that I will fail to take over the world without demon powers."

Ryouko yelled out, "DIE HITLER!!!!!!"

Hiei asked, "Why would you want to kill Hitler?"

"(Cough cough) Well, to make a long story shorter and not so many cuss words…I am a Jew. He killed over six million Jews. If he were still alive, he would be history…"

Himizu cut in, "Hitler IS history."

"For the sake of this conversation, he isn't history. But he will be after I chop his body into five large pieces, stuff chlorine up his nose, and use his blood to paint a hideous portrait of him. I thought about also drawing a portrait of Karasu, but it would insult the paper. Then I'd take his head and hang it at the Tower of London and get ravens to eat any remains. I hope the chlorine doesn't poison them… Then I would soak his remains in nitrogen and burn them. And then I'd boil the ashes so that no one ever gets to touch his remains again. That…is history."

Himizu raised the victory sign high in the air. (V)

"Wow. You're brutal Ryouko. I like that." Hiei grinned evilly.

"That sounds a lot like what we're going to do to Karasu." Himizu said with an evil grin equal to Hiei's.

Kurama's normally calm face turned into rapturous joy, "You two girls better let me in on this. Before I turn to Youko."

Ryouko rubbed her hands together. "Excellent. Himizu, shut up."

"What are you guys talking about?" asked Kitsune.

"This jealous fire-demon is trying to bribe me to help him get rid of Jin so he can have Ryouko back."

"Awww, Hiei, that's so sweet of you. You actually care about someone outside your family."

Hiei turned the most fascinating shade of tomato red. He tried to save face by putting on a tough and distant front. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Awww, Hiei, you're blushing."

"Shut up! Baka ningens!"

Kitsune and Himizu began to laugh uncontrollably.

"What the heck?!" exclaimed Ryouko. "What's wrong with you two? Is some strange commotion going on inside your brains? And Hiei, you look as though I could fry an egg on your face without trouble, if I liked eggs that is!"

After Hiei had turned back to his normal shade, although now with a slight tinge of green to it, and the two girls had reined in their laughter, Kitsune begged, or shall we say, demanded, to know what Hiei was trying to do. Himizu related. When she came to the part about Hiei possessing Nikolai Zherdev, Kitsune gave vent to a piercing shriek.

"Kitsune, I value my windows. I don't want to replace them," cried Ryouko.

Hiei blinked. "I thought you liked Kurama, Kitsune."

"No I don't." She threw her arm around Kurama's shoulder. "I don't love him either." Hiei stared blankly. Kurama looked blank as well. Kitsune sighed with happiness. "I'm infatuated with him."

Hiei and Kurama stared at each other. Kurama gulped. "--;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"

Hiei swallowed. "--??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????"

Himizu and Ryouko twitched. "--;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?;?"

"What?????" asked Kitsune. Himizu and Ryouko twitched some more.

"Young people these days," muttered Genkai. "Not a care in the world. They're all loud-mouthed idiots, just like Yusuke."

"HEY!!!! Watch it Granny!" yelled Yusuke, who had finally come around. Shizuru rolled her eyes and pulled out a cigarette.

"Not in here you don't! I don't need my room smelling like smoke!" exclaimed Ryouko. Shizuru ignored her, lit her cigarette, and took a slow puff. Himizu immediately began to cough and gag.

"Get that thing out of here! I'm allergic to that stuff!" Then she began sneezing. She glared at Kuwabara. "And you! Get rid of your stupid cat before I kill it."

"You would dare kill my beloved little Eikchi!"

"Oh I would do more than kill it. I would kill it, then kill it again, then throw it from the top of a giant building and then feed it to a snake."

Ryouko shook her head in mock pity. "Himizu, you wouldn't do that. We would use your four-wheeler and run over the kitten." They grinned at each other and quoted together,

"Lost your cat? Try looking for it under our tires!"

The blood drained from Kuwabara's face as he stared in horror at the figures in front of him. "How could you kill a helpless little kitten?"

"Very easily," said the girls. Hiei silently nodded his approval. Meanwhile, Yukina was looking very shocked.

"Why would you kill Kazuma's little kitten?"

"Because I hate it. Hate is an emotion you would know nothing about. I feel it constantly, like whenever I see the Detroit Red Wings," answered Himizu.

"Hey, the Red Wings rule!" cried Kitsune.

"And do you know how contradictory you are? You like Michigan and the Red Wings, and you also adore Nikolai Zherdev, one of the Blue Jacket's stars!"

"But I know one thing for sure. I love Kurama."

"You just said you didn't love me." Kurama sounded very confused.

"Kurama, you read my mind," gasped Himizu. "Of course, I've also noticed that we are very similar in the fact that we constantly analyze demon attacks while watching fights."

"ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH HIM?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" demanded Kitsune.

"No, that's your job," Ryouko cut in. "If flirting were an Olympic sport, you would win a gold medal. In fact, you would do so well that the guy you're supposed to flirt with would run away in terror." The whole room burst into laughter.

"It doesn't just take flirting to make a guy run," muttered Yusuke. Keiko punched Yusuke again and he fell to the floor, out again. Himizu gave Keiko a high-five. They were discovering similarities in one another, although the most obvious difference was Himizu's lack of interest in anyone of the male gender, except certain hockey players. Koenma shook his head, trying his hardest to remain merely a distant spectator of the whole proceeding, something that did not escape Ryouko's notice.

"It would appear that we have discovered a new spectator sport: watching teenagers argue!"

"Who are you calling a teenager?!" demanded Hiei furiously.

"Kuwabara, Yusuke, Keiko, Kitsune, Himizu, and me. I don't notice anyone else participating in this, do you?" Ryouko stroked Jin's hair as she looked over her science notes. "So you got the horn from your grandfather, your blue eyes from your dad, and that gorgeous red hair from your mom? What about your wind powers?"

Jin frowned, thinking hard. "Weaal, Hi suppose Hi got dem from me grandmuder on me muder's side, but Hi could be wrong o' corse. It could also be me cousin on me da's side, but Hi'd have ta tink about dat wun."

"That's all right, take your time. I have a while, I hope, before you guys have to leave." Hiei's hair was beginning to split into two points as he turned to Himizu. She rolled her eyes.

"What part of 'no I'm not interested, get yourself someone else' don't you understand? You're not the boss of me!" Himizu fumed. Hiei's katana suddenly appeared next to her left eye.

"Wanna' bet? What part of 'do it or die' don't you understand?"

"I hate demons. Especially fire demons. And if you break my glasses, I am going to either kill you or, if you kill me first, haunt you." Hiei rolled his eyes.

"You ningen girls are weird. Your glasses mean more than your life."

"If you break my glasses, but let me live, guess who gets to pay for them. Me. Unless you have a hidden store of American human money." She glanced sideways at him. "Any human money would do since I could probably get it exchanged somewhere."

"Forget it."

"Kitsune, how did I know that that was what he was going to say?"

"Lucky guess," replied Kitsune, lifting her eyebrows several times.

Himizu-chan: Wowie, do I ever need to do some explaining if I don't want to be flamed to within an inch of my life. First of all, I really do think Koenma's palace is full of caffeine-high ogres and that Botan is a coffee addict! There's no other explanation! Now, Ryouko is really not infatuated with Jin, at least not the way I've portrayed her. In fact, she's probably going to beat the monkeys out of me when she reads it. Oh well. And I am not making Hiei like Ryouko! I know it seems that way, but it's not intentional, I swear! The reason I made him jealous is because I see Hiei as a competitive person. Ryouko's flirtations were annoying, but his competitive nature would not allow him to let her give those attentions to someone else. It's just his nature, or at least the way I see his nature. That's it, I promise, there's nothing between Ryouko and Hiei!!! I also did a terrible job with Jin's accent. (Meow!) I apologize. And the Karasu thing, I know there are plenty of Karasu fans out there, but my friends and I don't like Karasu. It's not because he's gay, he's just… unlikable… Someday I'm going to have to analyze exactly why I don't like him. But not now. Anything else? I don't think so… If there is, I'm sure my kind reviewers will let me know. And you know the rule, five reviews! Ja ne! Runs from Hiei, who is trying to chop her head off for posting this chapter!!!)