Himizu-chan: I LIVE! (dies)
YYH Cast: Hooray!
Himizu-chan: (revives) I'm still here...
YYH Cast: Damn.
Himizu-chan: You guys are mean. Oh well. Soon my revenge will be complete! Mwa ha ha ha ha! (chokes, dies again)
YYH Cast: Hooray!
Himizu-chan: (revives again) I'm okay.
YYH Cast: (sigh is despair)
Himiuz-chan: Heh heh. Okay, I'm sorry I haven't updated, but I've been sick like hell for a while and still feel crappy, but I had to do evil Marine Biology, so I thought, what the hell, I'll update. So here we go, chapter 5. But first, we respond to reviews.
Mistress of Hiei Spasms: I enjoyed your reviews very much. Kuwabara attacks girls since he met me. Let's face it, I'm mean to him. He's so easy to make fun of. It has to be said. I'm so glad you are laughing, just don't die b/c I love your reviews. I hope the twisted part is a compliment.
Forest-mage: Why did you think that this was the DT fic! We wouldn't have been at Ryouko's house. The DT fic is the sequal to the RY fic. (sighs) Get with the program Kitsune! Just kidding. Thanks for the review! (And I have 14 chappies in the DT actually. Go me!)
Mei: I loved your idea, but the story is already written. However, I am filing that idea away and maybe I'll put it in another fic. Actually, I think it'll go really well in my latest ficcy, but we'll see where that goes. Thanks for the idea, and the review! I love making people laugh.
Wonderingprophet: Took you long enough... What good are you? And now you expect me to post as soon as you review? You are demanding. Maybe I'll make the singing ferrets eat you. Oh well. At least you reviewed. x-x
Chapter 5
Ryouko was, thankfully in Hiei's mind, not listening. But she was still talking to Jin. Himizu glanced around. Botan had somehow got hold of a coffee maker and was brewing coffee for herself. Himizu seized it.
"Give me that! You don't need that! You need…" She paused, rummaging through her bag. "Where are they…? Here they are! Mountain Dew anyone?" She pulled a giant 12-pack out of her bag.
"How the heck did you manage to carry that here!" wondered Kitsune, accepting a can.
"I would have brought the 24-pack if I'd known we would have guests. Cheers!" The girls clinked cans and gulped. Hiei, who had been forced to accept a can, sniffed it apprehensively. Everyone had taken one, except Koenma, Yukina, Touya and Genkai, who was muttering about young hooligans. Himizu rolled her eyes. "Give your nattering mouth a rest, you old goat. Hiei, it's not poison. I wouldn't do that…to you that is." She glanced at Kuwabara who clapped his hand to his mouth. "Just kidding Kuwabara. That's too swift for you." She grabbed Hiei's can and took a swig. "Satisfied?"
"I hope you didn't really drink out of that," Kitsune whispered. Himizu's eyes rolled up and she dropped to the floor, apparently dead. Hiei almost dropped the can. He put it to the side hastily. Himizu immediately seized it.
"More for me!" she exclaimed. Hiei looked horrified. "Chill Hiei. And I thought I was paranoid. Can't you take a joke? Now will you drink the Mountain Dew?" She held out the can. Hiei slowly took it, his eyes ever leaving her, as though he was afraid of some kind of trick. As he drank, Himizu muttered out of the side of her mouth to Ryouko, who had managed to introduce Jin to Mountain Dew successfully, "I wonder what a caffeinated fire demon will do?"
"If he destroys my room, you both die!" Ryouko replied. Himizu ignored her, jiggling her fingers, as though nervous. "Oh no!" gasped Ryouko.
"We have ignition," moaned Kitsune, burying her head in her hands.
"It was as though a spring had been planted under her. Himizu jumped up with a whoop and began bouncing around the room. "Hey guys, you will never believe it! I just got the best idea in the world for a fic! Do you wanna' hear it?"
"NO!" cried Ryouko and Kitsune together. Himizu ignored them.
"What if Kurama turned into Youko and Youko stole something shiny…"
Kurama's green eyes turned gold for a moment. "Shiny…."
"And then he turned back into Kurama and Kurama was arrested and…"
"BAKA! YOU GOT THAT IDEA YESTERDAY!" yelled Ryouko. Himizu was past listening as she bounced around the room blissfully. Hiei followed her progress, his hand shaking nervously as he clutched his empty Mountain Dew can. Botan had now joined Himizu and they skipped around the room. Shizuru was nodding off in the corner, also clutching an empty can. Yusuke and Kuwabara sat chugging away, becoming louder and more rambunctious with every guzzle. Keiko was taking slow careful sips, as though she was going to counteract the effects of caffeine that way. Even Kurama was drinking, and enjoying the taste immensely. Before long, Shizuru was snoring (?) and the others that had drunk Mountain Dew were jumping around the room like jack-in-the-boxes. Even Hiei couldn't stop his fingers from drumming nervously against the hilt of his katana. Touya closed his eyes, plainly wondering how all these people could disgrace their honor and behave so childishly. Koenma also seemed to be wondering how they could behave so strangely. Yukina stared with wide eyes as Genkai buried her head in her hands and could be heard muttering about foolish young people who had no respect for their elders and how back in her day, young people had respect for their elders, etc. Yusuke and Kuwabara were now acting quite drunk, causing Kitsune to sniff their cans suspiciously. Jin was now floating in the air and making miniature tornados, which flew around the room, playing havoc with their hair. Himizu managed to redirect one to fly next Hiei, demolishing the tall flame-like creation, causing it to tilt completely to one side, which made him look as though he had an arrow in his hair that was molding it. Himizu burst into hysterical laughter and she was joined by nearly everyone else. Yukina looked quite bewildered and Hiei was plainly trying to control himself so he didn't do anything stupid in front of his sister. But Himizu was determined to cause chaos. Chugging half of the remaining can, she held it out to Hiei, finally pouring it down his throat. This was the final straw. Sanity and order was gone.
It started mildly enough. Hiei's eyes got huge, then tiny, huge again, tiny again. He began to twitch violently. The bandage on his arm began to smoke, causing Himizu to grin. This was going to be fun. Ryouko looked panicked.
"Not in my room you don't!" she screamed. Too late. The black dragon was loose. With a roar, it sprang from Hiei's arm and tore around the room. Everyone ducked as it zoomed over their heads. Ryouko flinched as it narrowly missed her dresser and fainted when it almost ate her computer. Tearing around the room, the dragon left behind a long black streak that caused Ryouko to moan about the cost and glare at Hiei angrily. After several minutes of hair-raising fear, the dragon vanished, moments before consuming the still-sleeping Shizuru.
There was dead silence for a moment. Then Ryouko said,
"Thank you so much Hiei. I've always wanted my room to be black." She turned to the YYH boys and shouted, "Now I want this room back to its original color! On the double! Move, move, move, move!" Yusuke, Kuwabara, Jin, Touya, Kurama, and even Hiei scrambled to obey her. Himizu winced.
"I don't think that's a good idea…" she began.
Too late. Even as she spoke, Yusuke and Kuwabara had started a paint war. After covering everything with plastic, the girls and Koenma dove out of sight as big balls of cream-colored paint flew through the air, splattering the walls and plastic sheets.
"What the # are they doing to my room!" screamed Ryouko.
"They're painting it. Yu Yu Hakusho style." Himizu ducked as Ryouko hit her. "OW! This is abuse! You and Hiei should be arrested!"
"Those boys should be arrested for disturbing the peace in my room!" Ryouko cried in annoyance.
"They're never coming to my house if this is how they're going to behave," muttered Kitsune.
"Hey! I was going to say that!" cried Himizu. "Line-stealer!"
Kitsune stared. "……."
Most unfortunately for Himizu, the caffeine affect was wearing off of everyone and Hiei was one of the first to recover. He glared at her with murder in his eyes. Himizu twitched.
"It's times like these that really make me wish I had a black dragon. Will you please tell me where I can get one? Or better yet, where I can get a Jagon."
"You wouldn't have enough power to control either element, even if I did tell you how I got them. But I don't want you to get them. I want you dead."
"Gee Hiei, you really know how to keep a secret, don't you?"
If Hiei looked annoyed, that was nothing to how Ryouko looked as she stared at her room. "Himizu, why did you give them Mountain Dews? Why didn't you just give them to us? Now look at my room!"
"I like it. The black background and the cream-colored splatters really make an attractive picture. You should laminate it and send a picture to an art museum. Then they'll pay tons of money and interview you and-"
"And annoy me and buy my room and buy my house so I won't have a place to live. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? No one would pay to look at this mess, they'd pay to have me get rid of it."
"She's right you know," Kitsune put in. "No one would want it."
"Oh I don't know, some weirdoes might like it," Himizu suggested.
"Oh it's beautiful! I agree with Himizu! It's lovely, enchanting, and breath taking! If I had the money, I'd buy it right now!" Botan squealed.
"See?" said Himizu, gesturing to the bouncy blue-haired girl. "There are weirdoes in the world who would buy it."
Ryouko and Kitsune looked at each other. "-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"
"Well, she is right on one count. Botan is a bit weird. Just a little bit," Kitsune admitted.
"WHAT DRUG ARE YOU ON? JUST A LITTLE BIT WEIRD! THIS GIRL IS FROM OUTER SPACE! And another thing, boys. MY ROOM HAD BETTER BE PROPERLY PAINTED IN TEN SECONDS OR I'M COMING OUT OF HERE TO MASSACRE EVERY SINGLE STINKING ONE OF YOU!" Ryouko yelled.
"Isn't that a bit harsh?" asked Kitsune.
"Not really. They have Hiei to help them."
"True that. They're not getting sympathy from this corner," Himizu proclaimed.
"Corner?" asked Ryouko looking around the circular space.
"It's a figure of speech." A light bulb appeared over Himizu's head. "Hey! Can we make whips for to use on the guys?"
"Don't I wish. PAINT FASTER BOYS! YOU WANTED PAINT, YOU GOT PAINT! AND IF THERE'S EVEN A SINGLE SMUDGE ON MY WALL, YOU'RE ALL BECOMING TARGETS FOR MY MACHINE GUN!"
"You have a machine gun?" asked Keiko, looking shocked.
"Yeah. They're everywhere. There's one under my bed, one under my desk, one in my drawer, and a nice supply in my closet." She paused, listening as Yusuke and Kuwabara began to search franticly for the guns. Raising her voice, she called out, "They're useless to everyone but me because I keep the bullets in my pocket." Groans of frustration and disgust echoed into the safe haven. Suddenly Kitsune's eyes grew as big as saucers.
"Where's Shizuru?"
"Dunno. Why do you ask?" questioned Himizu.
"Because I think I just heard someone groan."
In horror, the girls and Koenma looked out of their hiding place. A paint-splattered Shizuru was rolling over and beginning to wake up. The boys hadn't noticed yet. Shizuru woke up and looked at herself. She gave vent to a yell of rage.
"WHAT THE !#! HOW DID I GET COVERED IN PAINT?"
The boys exchanged nervous glances. The girls pointed accusing fingers at the boys. "They did it!" The boys' sweatdropped, exchanging terrified glances as Shizuru slowly began to turn red with anger and temper. Her hair began to frizz and she soon resembled an angry lioness. The girls ducked back into their hiding place as Shizuru gave way to her anger and attacked the boys. Screams floated down, along with cries for mercy, the sound of devastating blows being thrown, and Shizuru yelling,
"PAINT ME WILL YOU! I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON YOU'LL NEVER FORGET! ESPECIALLY YOU TWO! YES YOU, BABY BROTHER, YOU AND YOUR DELINQUENT FRIEND! YOU'RE BEHIND THIS, AREN'T YOU! WELL TAKE THIS AND THIS AND THIS AND SOME OF THIS AND SOME MORE OF THIS AND SOME OF THIS FOR GOOD MEASURE! LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF YOU!"
"Oh yeah, that's a lesson that none of them will ever forget," whispered Himizu, whose sadistic nature that caused her to love hockey fights, blood, and forensic science was being thoroughly satisfied by listening to Shizuru deal out punishment. She even dared to poke her head out and sat there for quite a while to watch as huge bruises appeared, each a dark mauve color, faces were disfigured more effectively than plastic surgery, and cuts and abrasions appeared more thickly than at any hockey fight. Of course, Himizu couldn't remember ever seeing such a long hockey fight thanks to interfering linesmen. But this was the real deal. A bit one-sided, but very effective.
Ryouko was furious. "HIMIZU NO BAKA, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"
"Why? I didn't do this. I didn't tell Hiei to let loose the black dragon. I didn't tell the boys to start a paint war. And I didn't tell Shizuru to go and kill them all, although I applaud her for doing it."
"I don't care what you say. You did it! You gave Hiei the Mountain Dew that caused him to set off the black dragon. Because of the dragon, my room was painted black."
"You were the one that told them to paint your room."
"You were the one that made them nuts so they decided to start a paint war. And you were the one who gave Shizuru the Mountain Dew so she fell asleep."
"How was I to know she was going to fall asleep? Besides, I wasn't the only one that left her sleeping out there while the boys threw paint on her. She should have woken up!"
"But she didn't! And now my room I being destroyed because of you!"
Things were about to get ugly (uglier?) when Hiei slipped away from the mass of groaning bodies that lay in a twisted heap on the floor where Shizuru had dumped them. Hiei wasn't looking too good either. Not only was his hair still destroyed, but he also had a large purple bruise on his left cheek and a fine cut under his mouth with an even finer trickle of blood running from it. Wiping away the blood, he glared at Himizu.
"I'm going to kill you."
"You've been saying that since you've arrived. I'm either an extremely healthy ghost, or you're a liar."
Kitsune winced. "Why did you just say that?"
Hiei glared at her. "Ningen, you just signed your death warrant."
"Good for me. Actually, I've signed it several times, but each time, it's been declared invalid. I expect this time it will be the same."
Kurama, who was the next to crawl from the pile, managed a laugh. "That was certainly an interesting turn of phrase. Quite funny, really."
"Thank you Kurama. I'm glad some people appreciate good humor around here."
Kitsune gave a wail at the sight of her beloved looking like he'd just fought Karasu and ran to him. Jin floated dazedly up away from Shizuru and hit his head on the ceiling. Touya, bangs shattered, also crawled out to a corner where he quickly replaced his bangs. Only Yusuke and Kuwabara continued to lie, groaning, in a twisted heap on the floor. Shizuru dusted off her hands, looking pleased with herself.
"Well, that was a nice warm-up. Maybe I'll get to beat up some demons on the way home." Everyone sweatdropped, although Himizu noticed that Touya's sweatdrops were actually ice drops, causing her to do an imitation of the eyebrows of the main character in School of Rock (for those of you who haven't seen the movie, there's a scene where the guys' left eyebrow goes up, then down as the right eyebrow comes up, then the right goes down as the left comes up, etc. etc.).
Himizu-chan: Yes! The amazing leopard bag! Descended from the famous bag used by Mary Poppins in her movie! Lol. And I introduced everyone to Mountain Dew! Mwa ha ha ha ha! (Hack, choke, cough!) And the paint? Well, put paint with Yu Yu Hakusho, and you naturally have some fun. And I just had to make Shizuru beat up some people. I hope Hiei's still not mad about that… (Sees Hiei) Uh oh! Better finish this up quick before he sees it! Five reviews before I update! Ja ne! (Runs and hides from Hiei)
