Himizu-chan: (Pissed like hell) Well, I finally got this uploaded! My computer wasn't working for the longest time, and now I can finally update before I leave for San Francisco tomorrow morning! WOOHOO!
Ryouko: Well, booyah, I'm in Hawaii right now!
Himizu-chan: -.-# Shadup.
Hiei: Does that mean no more fics for a while?
Himizu-chan: Well, it means no more updates for a week.
YYH Cast: HOORAY!
Himizu-chan: -.-# (Pulls out mallet)
YYH Cast: O.O (Shut up)
Himizu-chan: Well, this is the last chapter of this fic, so I decided to get it up ASAP, but for those of you who are reading my other fic, you'll have to wait cuz I'm in the middle of chapter 4 and unless I get a major brainstorm sometime later today, you will all have to wait until I get back. Never fear, I am taking my purple notebook on vacation with me and will be working hard while on the plane. Wait, I'm taking a plane? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HATE PLANES! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Time and Fate: -.-;Thank youfor your confidence in my sanity. But seriously, thank you for reviewing every chapter! Have a brownie! (Gives Time and Fate a brownie) If you don't like brownies, I also have cookies. .
wonderingprophet: You were supposed to resent my comments. And also, this is the last chapter and I personally think it's my best one, so you don't get to yell at me! Mwa ha ha ha ha! And thank you also for reviewing all of my chapters, have a brownie, and I'm working on BSTV's, just have patience.
I don't think there's anything else to say except, I'm glad you enjoyed my fic, and thank you for your support! And God bless Pope John Paul II!
Chapter 8
"Good, she's out," Ryouko hissed, pulling out her machine gun. Suddenly, Himizu's eyes flew open.
"Jin, do you have a girlfriend?"
Jin appeared briefly stunned by this question, but Himizu was on a roll. "And what about that one person that Yusuke had to fight when he was rescuing Yukina, what's his name again? Oh yeah, Miyuki! Is that your brother?"
"WHAT DE YE TINK YER PLAYIN' AT, MISSY? THAT GEL/LAD, ME BRUDDER? ARE YE OUT O' YER MIND?"
"No, I'm not actually. I see a resemblance. You know, the horn, the eyes, and the hair even. I can't help it."
"You're sick Himizu. That was sick," muttered Ryouko.
"Indeed. That was almost as bad as Karasu." Even saying his name made Kitsune look sick.
"It's all Mrs. Ross's fault. She's the one that taught me how to make connections and grow dendrites. And how our brain is the size of a pillowcase when it's unfolded and laid flat, not crumpled and compact."
"Thanks Kurama," muttered Ryouko.
Kurama looked blank. "That was Himizu, not me."
It sure sounded like you. All those facts, vocabulary, etc. You guys are soul mates," Ryouko proclaimed.
"WHAT?" bellowed Kitsune and Himizu in unison.
"WHY SHOULD I LOWER MYSELF TO THE LEVEL OF A FOX-DEMON?" demanded Himizu.
"HOW DARE YOU FLIRT WITH MY BELOVED KURAMA-KUN?" cried Kitsune. Ryouko winced.
"I take it back. Himizu and Kurama. Yikes. Poor Kurama. She's probably Mrs. Ross's daughter or something."
Himizu exploded. "WHAT THE many, many beeps to cover all the curse words!" Then she punched Ryouko. Ryouko was livid.
"Punch me, will you. Think and die!" With that, she pulled out her machine gun and began chasing Himizu around the room, with Kitsune shouting angrily about how Kurama was hers and only hers, and Jin floated above, still yammering indignantly about being called the brother of Miyuki. His blue eyes were wider than usual and his mouth always seemed to be open even as he talked, as though he were stuck in a permanent face fault.
"Oh brother, shut up already. I was kidding." Himizu flopped down inside the barrier and was nearly clobbered by Ryouko's machine gun as Ryouko tried to stop on a dime. "Watch where you're swinging that thing, moron!" she added as the gun bounced off her head on a rebound swing. "Why me?" wondered Himizu as she sat down in the barrier again. "What time is it? Can I leave yet?"
"No you can't leave yet. I don't give you permission to leave because I must kill you first," Ryouko explained patiently. Himizu groaned.
"You know, this whole thing is some insane and elaborate joke, isn't it?"
Ryouko rolled her eyes. "Right. All these people around you are holograms or optical illusions. Kitsune and I bought some fancy 5 billion dollar computers just to drive you mad." She knocked Himizu upside the head. "Baka! You've had some hair-brained ideas before, but this takes the cake, it really does."
"Totally," muttered Kitsune, rolling her eyes.
"Look on the bright side. There are people who could cause even more chaos than me without even trying."
"Like who?"
"Napoleon," Himizu stated knowledgeably. Ryouko and Kitsune exchanged glances.
"Uhhhhhhh…………" they said slowly.
"Bah! Whoever Napoleon was, he could never be more trouble than you," Hiei snapped, glaring at the girl in front of him.
"Well, he's certainly as bad as you. About as stupid too."
"WHAT!" bellowed Hiei.
"Look at the facts. Napoleon sold the U.S. hundreds of acres of land at three cents per acre, plus he got himself vanquished at the battle of Waterloo. You got your butt kicked by Yusuke, even though you should have been able to kill him, then you joined forces with him. So now, instead of ruling the world, you are trapped in an alliance with a juvenile delinquent and an orange-haired smart-mouthed idiot and you're forced to be the subject of embarrassing fanfics with nutty authors like my friends."
"Hey, what about you?" the two other authors cried together.
"It's people like you who make me look normal," Himizu replied calmly.
Somehow, Hiei managed to get his black dragon powers back and was about to use them on Himizu. As he let it go, Ryouko ran forward trying to stop him. The black dragon hit both girls and they were transported to Hell. Hiei smirked.
"Well, I didn't want to send Ryouko there too, but at least I'm rid of Himizu."
There was a sudden flash of light and Ryouko and Himizu appeared. Ryouko was panting and fanning herself furiously while her braid was on fire and Himizu was trying to put out the fire, stealing occasional glares at her soot-covered t-shirt.
Ryouko sighed. "Phew, it's hot in Hades." She wiped beads of perspiration from her forehead.
Himizu finally used her author powers to conjure up water for the fire on Ryouko's braid. As she trimmed away the singed bits, she scowled at Hiei before brushing the soot off her shirt.
"Geeze Hiei, I know you hate my guts, but you didn't need to make one of my favorite shirts so filthy." Hiei lifted one eyebrow. Himizu brushed away more soot to reveal the Blue Jackets logo. Hiei rolled his eyes.
"I'm going to burn that thing." All the females, except Yukina, exchanged glances. Hiei flushed. "I didn't mean it like that!" As he turned to look at the girls, they all tried to hide behind one another or one of the guys. Kuwabara crossed his arms triumphantly.
"I told you he was a pervert!"
Hiei rounded on him. "Oh, and what would you do if you had my powers? You would be tearing off women's clothes left and right. Pervert yourself!"
By now, even Yukina was looking uncomfortable. The three authors looked at each other. Ryouko grinned.
"Some things in life are wrong!"
"For everything else," the three chorused, "there's American Express!"
Everyone stared. Yusuke looked around. "Does anyone know what they're talking about?" The authors exchanged more looks. Kitsune giggled.
"Some things in life are sad!"
They chorused, "For everything else, there's Visa!"
The YYH cast now had bugging eyes and jaws scraping the floor. The authors laughed, Himizu laughing the hardest.
"Some things in life are priceless!"
They chorused, "For everything else, there's MasterCard!"
The YYH cast was staring strangely. "You're all mental," Hiei declared.
"WE'RE all mental? Gaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Where's Napoleon when you need him?" cried Ryouko, looking very annoyed. As if summoned by Ryouko's words, Napoleon appeared.
"This is just going from bad to worse," muttered Himizu.
Hiei and Napoleon began to eye each other with expressions of great dislike.
"This is my land, land of the French, ruled by Emperor Napoleon!" Napoleon proclaimed.
"No, this is MY land, land of Hiei, ruled by Hiei," Hiei retorted.
"I hate to interrupt, but this is MY land, MY house, and MY room. Go fight over Himizu's house," Ryouko objected.
"WHAT! HEY!" exclaimed Himizu.
Hiei and Napoleon began to fight. Napoleon's hand never left his jacket and Hiei kept one hand behind his back. Katana and saber flicked around, creating patterns of light and a melodious pitch as they clanged off each other. Finally they backed away from each other, neither beaten in the least. However, Napoleon called his dog, Samson, forward.
"Very well, if that's how you want to play. I choose Kurama!" Hiei cried. Kurama, now with long, brown, basset-hound type ears that hung near his chest, bounded forward. Everyone face-faulted and the floor was blanketed with sweatdrops.
"AHHHH! KAIWIII! KURAMA! CUTE!" squealed Kitsune.
"Hey, this isn't Pokemon, people!" Kuwabara yelled.
Kitsune shook her head, but was unable to hide a grin. "You know, up until now, this story was almost believable," she whispered as Hiei's black dragon sent Napoleon, Samson, and Kurama's ears into oblivion.
"BELIEVABLE? Has anything ever been less believable?" exclaimed Himizu. "No one, not even the most rabid YYH fan will believe us when we tell our story to the world."
"Don't count on it. Do you have the purple notebook?" asked Ryouko.
"Of course! What kind of self-respecting author would go anywhere without the sacred purple notebook?" she cried.
"The one that has lost it at least three times already," Ryouko answered.
"Aww, come on. I was late for school those days. Give me a break."
"Never mind. Do you have a pen?"
"What do I look like! A moron! An amateur? A person who would bring a notebook and no pen? No, actually I didn't."
"Himizu no baka, you are an idiot."
"Sorry. But why do you want the pen and notebook?"
"To transcribe everything that took place here today. This is The Beginning."
"Of what!"
"Our careers as YYH fanfic writers."
"Ryouko, do you want to know what I think? Of course you do. We have psychic connections with each other. War is hell. So is being a YYH fanfic writer. What has happened here today has shown this to me. We weren't even really fanfic writers, but look what happened. There's no way."
"Himizu, do not make me use you for target practice. You're already involved in this up to your neck. You're the best writer here, you're also our scribe. So get busy writing."
Himizu complied, but not without complaint. "You're a good writer too, so is Kitsune. Why am I the scribe?"
"Because you are. Get busy. WRITE!"
"Slave-driver," hissed Himizu. Kitsune grinned.
"Does that mean that the guys can come over anytime?"
Ryouko and Himizu exchanged worried and frantic looks. "Uhhh… Well… Ummm… Errr…"
"Oh what the heck! Why not? Sure! Then I can see Hiei more often!" And Ryouko hugged Hiei. "Jin too!" She hugged Jin. He was not pleased.
"What de ye tink yer doin' missy! Two-timin'? Go on wit ye!"
"Hey, he's partly mine too!" cried Kitsune.
"Fine. But Hiei's all mine!" Hiei's face plainly said that he was kicking himself for not running when he had the chance. Himizu grinned.
"I warned you. Hanging around with Yusuke and Kuwabara has affected your brain cells. You must have taken a temporary bout of insanity." Hiei made a face. "Too late now. Have fun." Himizu leaned back against a wall as she began writing. Things would certainly be interesting around here from now on. She looked around the room.
Genkai was sitting against a wall, eyes closed, trying to tune out the young generation that plagued her continually. Koenma was floating above her, sucking his pacifier intently, and also trying to ignore the chaos. Shizuru was leaning against the bed, bored. Botan was swaying from side to side, babbling away to Keiko and Yukina who were not listening. Yukina was listening as Kuwabara talked to her, lovesick praises and nonsense were flowing from his mouth, enough to make anyone wretch. Keiko was talking to Yusuke. They weren't arguing at last. Jin was floating too, slightly out of Ryouko's reach. Touya was leaning against another wall, a bored expression on his face. Kitsune was sitting with Kurama, talking to him and praising him at every other sentence. He seemed to be taking it well. Hiei, however, did not seem to be having a happy time. Pressed in next to Ryouko and trapped by her arm, he was forced to sit and take it as she stroked his hair and talked to him, insulting Kitsune's lovesick fashions every now and then, causing Kitsune to throw hate-laden glances in her direction.
"My life is a sitcom. And a soap opera. All we need now is the murder," muttered Himizu, looking around the room again. A thin smile appeared on Hiei's face. He tried to wiggle his arm loose. "I was kidding," Himizu said hurriedly. "We don't need a murder. Everything's fine the way it is." Hiei looked very disappointed.
Himizu blew out a sigh of relief and continued writing everything she could remember. The dreams, the conversations, the incidences. Anything she could remember flew on to the paper. Help from the others, a little imagination on her part to add some drama, and presto. They would have a fic and be one step closer to a website of their own, their own little corner of cyberspace.
"Life will most definitely be more interesting now…" whispered Himizu as she wiped ink from her fingers, pushed her glasses further up on her nose, and continued writing. Of course, whether the YYH cast would be happy with this new arrangement remained to be seen…
A/N: What can I say, I was high when I wrote this chapter. But I had fun writing it, and I hope you all had fun reading it. Thanks for your support and I'll keep on writing!
