Chapter 5: I'm Gonna Do It
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"Sir, what if Harry and Ron see us together?" She said looking around hoping she wouldn't be seen by anybody from Hogwarts.
"Granger, it's seven o'clock in the morning, I doubt your dunderhead friends will be up at this time! I bet they won't even be up by 11:30." I said exasperatedly. This was about the twentieth complaint from her just in the last five minutes.
"M- ugh, sir, what shop are we going too? There isn't anything open this early in the morning." I stopped walking to look at her a second. It feels weird having her call me sir while out in public. But she won't call me Malfoy… only in school… Gah! That's my fault too! I gave her that bloody mark on her neck… Can I ever win with myself?
"Look, Granger… I know this will be hard, but call me Draco in public." I've got no idea what that look means, but I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to like it.
"You God Damned Fucking Asshole!! I'm onto you, you know! They don't call me the smartest witch to grace those cold bloody halls for no reason!" Whoa, what is she talking about? "It all makes sense now, Big Scary Draco Malfoy, all of a sudden needing a girlfriend. How unusual… why would he need a muggle? Oh of course… To 'please' the 'ministry', that's where I came in! Isn't it?! You didn't want me to be your girlfriend for your mum. Oh no, you just made up excuses!" I wonder when she will finish, I'm not sure how much longer I can hold this laughter. "You honestly like me, don't you? This mark on my neck, that wasn't you punishing me, it was you enjoying yourself, wasn't it?" She jabbed her finger into my chest staring me down, trying to intimidate me, "Wasn't It!" she screamed at me. Oh Merlin, I can't hold this in anymore, I've cracked… "What the hell is so funny?"
"You, think that I like you?" Wheeze, "Did you ever think that we would pull off," Wheeze, "fooling death eaters and the ministry if you called me 'sir' all the time? Well, maybe the death eaters… but really not the ministry." I've stopped wheezing finally, now looking at her dumbfounded face. Brilliant I tell you, Brilliant!
"You never did tell me about that shop… Draco." Ugh, that sounds terrible coming from her lips.
"Well, it's about five minutes from here. If we could continue walking and not be standing about chit-chatting…"
"Won't it be closed? It is only 7:15 a.m. you know?" Who does she think she is shopping with? Weaselette?
"Do you not remember who and what I am? I can do and get anything I want because I'm a Malfoy." I'm really beginning to doubt the smartest with at Hogwarts bit…
"How am I supposed to afford that type of shop? My parents have money, but certainly not as much as your family does." Why do women always worry about money? Honestly, it's proper etiquette, I'm supposed to buy your dress.
"I've got it." The look on her face was great… oh… Merlin… she may bust a nerve or something valuable like that, "We're here!" I smirked at her bowing while holding my arm out. She stomped by me and walked up to the front door, not even taking the time to take in the beauty of this place. What a Gryffindor.
"The sign says it's closed…" Dear lord…
"Your point? Look at who you're with."
"But what if something bad happens?"
"Goodness Granger! I set up a meeting with the woman who owns this place! Just walk in."
I heard some grumbling that really sounded like 'f-in jerk off', 'good for nothing' and maybe even a 'Merlin he is hunky.' Okay, so maybe not that last… A guys gotta try right?
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"No! Not this! Absolutely not! I will not wear this butt ugly dress," She turned to face me, "Draco!"
I just smirked, this is wonderful.
"Miss Granger, if you could please refrain from insulting my personal designs, I would greatly appreciate it." Granger blushed a deep red.
"Sorry Ms. Harp, it's just that I don't really like it when a skirt comes above my knees." I silently shook my head knowing she had done it this time.
"Mr. Malfoy, if you could please tell your girlfriend that I am the hottest designer in town and get it through her thick skull, I would deeply be in your debt." Of course you would, if my girlfriend were to be seen wearing your designs, your paycheck would increase by at least another three zeros.
"Draco," Granger looked over at me again with pleading eyes, "please, I would rather wear a long dress that goes down to the floor, than one I can't bend over in because everything will be all hanging out." I have to agree, the elegant look suits Granger much better. Besides, her knees are all knobby looking.
"I agree." Ms. Harp looked like she could absolutely kill me.
"Mr. Malfoy, if you want high class taste, I suggest you go someplace else. I only do teenage party outfits." Which is why you are the hottest designer around, you design teenage clothing.
"If you insist Ms. Harp, I can do that, c'mon… Hermione, we can go to Madam Hypdra." Granger looked confused because 1) I called her Hermione 2) I forced her here basically and now for no reason 3) Because Ms. Harp is the best in the business
"No! Mr. Malfoy, don't do that! I've got a Make It Mrs. Weasley, I don't usually use it because I prefer to design dresses." That's what I thought, designers are selfish. Never will they send you to another designer. A magical designer at least, those muggle designers will send you away right and left if they don't like you…
"Ms. Granger, please, step this way," She guided Granger into a stall like room and told her what to do. When she was finished she stepped out, "What have you done?" She shrieked.
"You don't like it?" Granger said looking down at herself and poofing the skirt rocking on the heels of her shoes.
"Like it? Ms. Granger, if you don't mind me saying so, it's hideous." I had to agree. It mad her look like a Catholic mother of five. Gray, long, pleated all the way down the lower half, and a white boxish thing going on in the front. The dress is just too ugly to even begin explaining it.
Granger grumbled annoyed purely with Ms. Harp, while I was thinking to myself, the two estrogen producing homo sapiens argued heatedly over another dress. This one wasn't too bad. You could tell she had a few curves now.
"Draco, what do you think?" She asked turning away from the mirror she was looking in and Ms. Harp.
"It's not bad," She grinned, too bad it won't last, "for a fifty year old primary school teacher." She huffed and turned back to the mirror and asked me a question.
"Well, is there anything you like about it?" Hang on… this may take a while…
"The color! Black is good on you… it sets off your tan brilliantly. Say, where did you get a tan? It's only March." She blushed at this and replied.
"My parents and I went to the Caribbean over the Christmas break, and I got a great tan. Fortunately I happen to be one of those people that when they get tans they tend to last forever. Also, because I'm already tanned, I tan faster than the other girls." She said turning back to the stall to figure up a new dress. She usually takes awhile giving me time to think. Mudblood in a bathing suit… -shudder- Yah, her body isn't bad.. But ugh, Nasty! And she's been tanning at Hogwarts! She's defiled the school!
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"Draco! How about this one?" Ms. Harp was now fast asleep on several dresses piled in a chair.
"Wow." That honestly was all I could say. No bad remarks came to mind at all… gonna have to find a cure for whatever I've got… no bad things to say… can it be?
"So, you like it?" Like m'dear is not the word for it.
"It's perfect! I mean perfect!" I grinned at her, a true grin. A one time thing, trust me.
"Really? I remembered a dress this girl wore in a movie. It was just like this, except well, mines longer. I've got ugly legs."
"Well then, now that you've got the dress you want, lets wake up Ms. Harp."
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"Draco, I could have paid for that you know." Again! Women…
"You could have, but you didn't, did you? Also, you can stop calling me by my given name. We aren't in public anymore." I said jumping over a step that led to the doors of Hogwarts.
"Fine, sir. When is this stupid meeting with your evil cronies?"
"First off mudblood, it's not stupid and second," I looked down at my watch to see the time, "Three hours."
"Three hours?" Boy, I feel insulted, if this is the smartest girl at school… that must make the whole school… stupid… eh, oh well.
"Are you really that thick? Three hours until the meeting with the death eaters." Her face filled with shock and anger, and then she finally looked at her watch thoughtfully, like she was calculating, then ran off saying something about being very late. I don't see how, she's got three hours…
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"The little mudblood is putting her make up on." I told Draco. She actually looks hot I don't see how he is disgusted about having to go with her. Hell if I were Potter and Weasley, I would be madder than a queer with lockjaw on Valentines Day.
"Blaise, I know what you are thinking, don't even think about it." How does he know what I'm thinking? Why can't I Think about it? Does that men he's got a wee little crush on the resident Gryffindor mudblood? Boy, being an arrogant pureblooded Slytherin is hard.
"Alright then, say… where did mudblood get that hickey looking thing on her neck?" That should crack him.
"It's still there? Huh, I thought it would have gone away by now." Well, that certainly didn't work.
"Draco! You Dawg! You fucked with the mudblood?" -Fingers cross- please say no, please say no, please--
"You can open your eyes and uncross your fingers Blaise, no I didn't fuck with the mudblood. I punished her for calling me by my given name. Is her hickey thing really not there?" Fucking with, punishing… same thing!
"Yes, she probably used a concealment charm." I thought for a bit before he relaxed once more and leaned back on the pillows of his bed.
"D'you like her Draco?" He looked at me with one eyebrow cocked.
"Like who?" Don't play games with me.
"Granger Draco, do you like her?" His face went from innocent curiosity to instant disgust.
"Fuck no, what would make you think that?" I would tick the reasons off, but I may run out of fingers.
"Because when you said you knew what I Was thinking, you told me basically not to even try what I was thinking, as if you wanted her all for yourself."
"Of course I want her all to myself, I hate sharing the person I'm torturing with someone else. What's she doing now?" Oh, I guess he doesn't like her… Goodie, that leaves her for me… but everyone thinks I'm gay… poop! Oh yeah, what's she doing. I turned back to the wall next to her room and looked through a pair of muggle binoculars modified to look through walls.
"Wow, that dress is hot Draco, have you seen it? It's black satin, maybe silk, kinda see through so maybe a lacy fabric, I dunno, I've never been good with those things, always been you."
"Blaise."
"Not now Draco, let me finish telling you what it looks like. It goes down to the floor, it goes around her neck like those halter things that Pansy is always--"
"Blaise!"
"Hang on, almost done. Now the halter thing, it doesn't tie, just goes around the neck, then the front, it's like that G. Bo girl, except a lot more modest. It stops about four to five inches above her belly button, her boobs look a little--"
"BLAISE!"
"What man? Do you have any idea how she looks?"
"Hmm… what do you think I was doing all day? Gawking at brooms?" He paused for a moment and said, "don't answer that." I shrugged and looked back to Granger's room. Fuck!
"Holy shit!"
"I had no idea shit had holes in it… maybe mice that eat the holy cheese…" Draco said being quite miserable.
"Fuck you Draco, Granger just did an enlargement spell," He looked up from the muggle porno mag he was trying to figure out (how hard could it be? Are their body parts different or something? Maybe mutated? I don't think so, Granger's seem all in place, anyhow) and looked at me curiously. "Wanna guess where?"
"You're joking." He said completely shocked.
"No," I shook my head. Within a nanosecond Draco was next to me grabbing what I had been a moment ago looking through and doing the cliché choking me thing, the pig. Chokes his own best friend with binoculars just to look at a girl who was currently sporting a nicer rack than Millicent when Lockhart 'accidentally' hit her with a charm meant for a picture of himself. Now that I think about it, I don't think she ever them fixed… Maybe that's why she looks like a hunch back, Lockhart was using a very powerful enlargement spell ya know, it was 'meant' for a picture of himself.
I looked over to Draco, he seemed very into whatever Granger was doing. Hey! What the hell is that?
"Draco Malfoy, if you are going to be sprawled all over me looking at Granger, the least you could do is not get a fucking hard on!" His head snapped towards me and immediately he scrambled off me and pulled a quill out of his robes.
"Fucking perv." He said looking at me disgustedly.
"You're one to talk friend, for the first time in five minutes I can breath properly. I'm not being chocked by my best friend who is gawking at a girl cause she endowed herself more than the Gods and Merlin planned." The fucking pervert just grinned at me.
"Fuck you Blaise, fuck you." I just had to grin back… I couldn't help it.
"So, what time do we have to be at that stupid meeting?" Please be soon, I wanna ogle at the chick in the next room openly where other guys are also ogling her, making me not look like such a perv.
"About twenty minutes or so for the ones like you," Thank Merlin I'm all ready, dress robes and everything, "Another forty-five minutes for the mudblood and I."
"Draco! You aren't even ready yet! What's wrong with you?"
"Easy mate, it won't take long, a tuxedo and I'm good." Tux…weed? What the hell is that?
"Uh… Draco? What's a tuxweedo?" He looked at me and burst out laughing.
"Sorry, I forgot, mudblood and I are going in muggle dress clothes." …that explains her dress…
"What the hell for?"
"Make it seem like we are really dating and to make her dirty blood stand out." I should have figured that out all on my own.
"So why haven't you changed yet? If I know you like I do, it will take you ages to get yourself 'perfect'." I used the muggle air quotes to piss him off.
"For your information, I am perfect." He walked away and uttered something under his breath and where his robes once were was a nice simple black tuxweedo. I watched him walk over to the mirror and check himself out, "Damn I look good."
"You really are in love with yourself. I thought it was just a summer thing." Oh Merlin! Run Blaise, run for your life.
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"Oh fuck me!" Umm… "Not you, I forgot my purse in my room!" She has been hanging around Potter and Weasel too long. She's picked up their lingo for one another.
"Granger! We are already late! How could you forget it?!"
"Look I'm sorry, I had this weird feeling someone was looking at me all night while I was getting ready." Damn that sixth sense and Blaise! How he could find her hot… beyond me. I do have to give him one thing though. Her boobs look hot. The dress looks ten times better on her now.
"I wouldn't put it past your two friends." I was talking to thin air. She had already turned around to get her purse. What is it with women and those things? Why can't they be more like men? One wallet. We don't need one for every buggering outfit, they always match anyhow.
"Sorry, I'm back." How did she do that? Isn't her room on the other side?
"It's fine… now lets go. We've got a meeting to go to."
"By the way, Harry and Ron are no longer my friends," I raised my eyebrows and was about to ask a question but was rudely interrupted, "enough talking, we've got a meeting to crash."
A/n: I'm sorry I'm leaving off here… Consider this half of chapter 5... If I make this go any longer… (I've still got another 4 pages written and I'm not half done with the chapter…) I've actually already split this chapter up big time… kinda… The owl Hermione got from Draco was supposed to be in this chapter along with the meeting, which would have included all of this. So I split it up and added on the night which was supposed to be a chapter all on it's own… but I don't think it can be now cause it's not going to be all that great… humor will be awful, so I just figured I could tack it onto this chapter… what A mistake… So! Review and tell me what you think of it so far… I must go off and write… oh yes, btw, after I think I completely finish this chapter, I'm going to have to find a new notebook… The one I'm using has only 10 pages left.. And at the rate I'm going… (this one half here took up ten pages back and front college ruled… and I don't write big.) well yes anywho… GO ME! I just broke 3000 words! (I've never done that before… EVER!) A whole eight pages! Almost nine! Oh yeah, go me… Also, I'm on pen number 3! I've killed off 2 so far… well 1½ kinda… I had help with the first one! alrighty… Going now…
My beautiful reviewers!
JADECOWAN (I think, it was anonymous…): I'm glad you liked it, when I told my best friend about it, she was like 'it's really crude' and just humphed at me.. Then I shoved my notebook in her hand and made her read it and she had tears in her eyes from laughter…
Black Rose, Black Heart: Oh man I totally know whatcha mean, my mom's ex boyfriend John totally fucking sucks disintegrating balls! He drinks all the time and my moms says he beat her, not sure but he was so fucking fucked up… he is still ruining my life today, (My mom didn't see the need to get rid of him until she found some other umm… I don't know if I can see these things… she might be reading this fic I'm not sure) just last week he hotlined my father and mother. I don't know if you know what that is but too bad, lol. It's basically when you talk to Child Protective Services or Adult Protective Services in my case, Child Protective services and he said that my older brother (who is 16 with a mental disability which makes him in reality about 11) was spreading porn around school (my brother goes to a special school… they would have caught him doing that and he doesn't go to my school! So he couldn't have) He said my 19 year old boyfriend (he isn't 19 anymore… he's 20... A bit old for me… but I happen to like him quite a bit…) anyhow, he said that he was spending the night at both of my parent's house and that we were having sex with both of my parent's consent. My boyfriend won't even pick me up from school on Tuesday when he picks me up every Tuesday if my father doesn't know! But that is what he said. So this lady who has talked to my family before and found other hotlines untrue so she didn't feel a huge need to really do much, but she came to my school and talked to me and she talked to my father who flat out said Chris was the greatest guy he's ever met… his mom dragged him up right and that I would be through the wall if I was having sex with him. And my mom hasn't seen Chris since… before school started… so yah… Anywho.. Enough of that…
Yah, Harry is screwed, but I think I will have him get revenge in the chapter starring him and Ron.. Kinda… it ought to be funny but then again I'm counting my chickens before they hatch… Also, I'm glad you think OOC is just fine, cause that's what I'm going with!
Blonde-brain: Oh man! I saw you reviewed for Chapter 3 and I didn't even acknowledge you! I'm sorry… Also, I'm keeping it just the way it is!
Padfootsluvr: yay! A new reviewer! I'm glad you like it so much!
XOxOkIsSmYaSsXoXo: Yah, that's a guy for you. I'm not sure if all guys are like that though… I would have to talk to my brothers and a bunch of my friends to figure that out, although I do know about 2.34 percent of men are pervs. Now you know what Hermione is wearing!
GothHottie: I'm so glad my reviewers and I have the same sense of humor! Saves me from flames so go you! Haha, I told the castrating joke to my friend Greg and he dropped to the floor… it was brilliant…
Sugar n spice 522: I'm glad you liked the chapter
Marmaladechicky: I think I fixed that mistake… I think… thanks for always catching them! I'm sorry I don't update fast enough.. I try for every Sunday… Also, did I ruin it? I didn't try to hard, the shopping scene was just insanely hard to write… never again will I write a shopping scene… How I thought writing one would be fun…
