Family, Friend, or Enemy


Disclaimer: Never own Gundam Seed, so never ask (and never sue) me.


Chapter 1: Lagrange point 4's Colony


God, why me?

His arms crossing over his chest, Dearka Elthman sat stiffly in his seat as he stared out of the window into the vast space outside sulkily. His face scrunched up in a sullen scowl, he tried not to notice his quiet companion who was sitting next to him with an angry scowl of her own on her otherwise pretty face.

Why, why, why, why me? Why not him? Why not someone else? thought Dearka, annoyed. It was all too easily for him to recall how and why he got stuck here, against his will by the way, in an Orb's transport heading to only-God-knows-where.

Earlier in the cafeteria of the Eternal, he and his friends were talking, discussing idly of this and that when, unexpectedly and unceremoniously, she barged in and demanded that he came with her at once.

Very surprised and confused, he had blinked up at her cluelessly, asking where to. She answered him by grabbing at the front of his shirt, forcibly pulling him up and out of his chair, and dragging him with her.

Almost half way across the room, he recovered from his shock and started to feel angry. He tried to pull her hand off his shirt, protesting. And stopped immediately when she threw a glare at him. His hand dropped, his resistance all gone in a matter of one second, one look in to her eyes. He then allowed her to drag him away with no more struggle and complaint. That one brief, fleeting look into her eyes was more than enough to convince him not to struggle anymore, nor say or ask a word.

Why, he was quite sure that the white hot fire he saw burning coldly in her eyes and the intense, blazing savage ferocity that promised a quick and horrible death for resistance, were not at all a joke. Even the bravest of all men would have run away screaming if they were to look into her eyes then. Gone were that light of sincerity and compassion, gone were that warm fire of protective kindness and lively cheerfulness… Gone were that girl he came to know during these past short weeks. At that moment, she was someone else he didn't know or want to know. Fierce and angry, cold and indifferent, harsh…ruthless even. And he wondered why didn't he see it coming from her in the battle before.

But, whatever it was, it was serious. She was serious, at the very least. And, really now, he did love his life. Dearly so. Which was exactly why he decided not to take the risk of losing it now(damn, he didn't even get to tell Miriallia yet!), so he let her, a mere Natural girl, dragged him, Dearka Elthman, a Coordinator, once part of the Klueze Squad and one of ZAFT's elite pilots, away from his shocked gaping friends like a ragged, lifeless…thing.

It's not a wild guess, Dearka contemplated soberly, studiously keeping his gaze glue to the window, if I say that she didn't play dolls and girly stuff when she was younger. She might have some of those things but who knows what she did with them when she was angry? He shuddered at his own imagination. Right. So maybe I shouldn't have gone that far…

It was the gentle Lacus Clyne who had snapped out of the shocked stupor first. They were about half-way to the door then when she got up from her seat, calling out to her.

She stopped, and turned around to look.

Words died on her lips, her mouth closed shut, as she looked into the same eyes he had glimpsed. Lacus fell back in her chair numbly, fear reflecting clear in her big innocent blue eyes while her face paled to match her uniform.

Athrun Zala, one of his few friends who had survived the war and the very best there was of ZAFT, was second to break from his shock after Lacus. He actually dared to gaze into her eyes when they finally shifted from Lacus to him. He was a little surprised that Athrun did not flinch nor look away.

They looked at each other quietly just like that, for almost a minute he guessed, when Athrun broke the stare first. A weak smile on his face, his eyes sad but had that light of understanding, he nodded and said to her to take care.

It was odd, what he saw. Or what he thought he saw. It was probably only a trick of light but, for one fleeting second, he thought he saw a look of deepest sadness flitted across her eyes then…

"I will," she said quietly and turned away from him. "Please take care of him for me."

"I will. We will," said Athrun, solemnly. "You will come back, though, won't you?"

"…I will," she replied, not turning back. "Even if it's going to kill me, I will come back."

Her grip on his shirt tightened. She started forward but stopped when she faced her new obstacle.

One very angry Yzak Jule.

Dearka suppressed a groan, not daring to think how his room might look like now or later when he got back. He would be lucky – very lucky – if his bed still stuck to the floor.

Standing tall and erect, looking every bit furious and oh-so-arrogant with his arms crossed over his chest like thatt, Yzak glared down his nose at her with such impeccable air of superiority that would have vexed even a cold stone into swearing five languages all at once. He was surprised that she had not let go of him and started screaming at his friend now.

"Out of my way," her voice carefully level, her eyes deadly cold, she looked ready to kill if the 'obstacle' wouldn't move out and away any time soon. "Now."

Blue eyes narrowed, Yzak glared right back at her. He did not pretend to control his rising temper. In fact, he made it very clear that he was angry – extremely angry. He did not think that she would be scared because of that now, would he?

"Not until you tell me where you are taking him," said Yzak with enough contempt in his voice that would tempt even him to feel like kicking him all the way back to PLANT. It made him wonder – just as he had wondered what had angered her into such state – if Yzak was really that angry to act the way he was doing now. He didn't remember his friend acting like this before…

"Who do you think you are?" Yzak continued. "What right do you think you have so you can come barging into our ship and dragging a person around like this?"

"I'm not going to say it again," she said slowly, dangerously. "Out of my way. Now"

Dearka feared for the worst upon seeing the look in his friend's eyes. It was clear that Yzak didn't take her as better than one of those rookies at the academy. His blue gaze started from the top of her head and traveled down to her feet, then back up again. Dearka started praying fervently when the all-too-familiar mocking light came in Yzak's eyes. She could not be compared to even the rookies. After all, she was only a Natural.

Of course, Yzak did not know he could never be more wrong – he almost knew nothing when he was angry! – else he would have never ever said what he did.

"Let go of Dearka, Natural. Now."

Wincing at the memory of what happened next, Dearka closed his eyes and massaged the bridged of his nose. Maybe he should ask for permission if he could sleep in the Archangel from now on…

Of what had taken place after that… no one could really tell when or how exactly it happened. Everything happened so fast and the outcome was so unexpected that they weren't even quite sure if what they had seen were real and not just their own imagination.

The moment the last word left his mouth, Yzak was thrown against the wall hard, a small knife pressing against his throat.

"Cagalli!"

"Cagalli-san!"

Blinking stupidly on the floor, he could do nothing more than to just watch things – weird, unbelievable things – played before his eyes.

Her eyes, blank and devoid of all emotion, bored harshly, unfeelingly into the surprised, scared (that's right, Yzak was scared!) blue ones. Her voice was a bare whisper, but everyone could hear every word she spoke clearly in the dead silent room.

"The war's over, Mr. Coordinator," she said, looking frighteningly calm as she continued to stared into his eyes. "Really, I am not in the mood for another war right now, but…" Slowly, she pulled back her arm, the knife in her hand…

"Cagalli-san!"

"Yzak!"

Thud.

Silver blade stabbed solidly in the wall, exactly an inch away from his face.

Drawing back a step, she regarded him with cold, indifferent eyes. "I will not hesitate to hurt you if I ever hear you say what you said to any of my friends or anyone else again. You may have saved me out there in the battlefield, but I will kill you if anything happens to him because you tried to stop me here."

Never would he ever take her lightly again, thought Dearka, shaking his head inwardly. Pride and circumstances be damned. After he saw what she was capable of today, he would rather be dragged around than fighting with her then. As he had said before, he loved his life dearly. He didn't survive the war and all those battles to die at her hands for nothing, damn it.

Cagalli Yula Athha…she may seem like easy to figure out at first. He liked her, too, actually. And he still did. But he wouldn't try to figure her out or guess her thought anymore, not after all that had happened and got him where he was now.

And there I thought that she had a thing for Athrun… he thought absently, leaning to the window with his elbow propped on the armrest, his face in his hand.

It was obvious that Athrun had been having feelings for her. But she? She seemed like she had feelings for him, too. Or so he thought. But perhaps those feelings she had for his friend couldn't be compared to what she felt toward 'him'?

There was no way it could be mistaken who she meant by 'him' that time when she spoke to Athrun and threatening Yzak.

Kira Yamato.

After the battle came to an end and the war was over, they sent out those who they had left and were still able to pilot decent mobile suits to go find and retrieve the survivors. Lacus was calling to the Kusanagai and the Archangel for a search party to search for Kira, Cagalli, and Athrun then, when the battered and tattered Strike Rouge returned with three worn out pilots, one unconscious and two just on the brink of it.

The moment she learned of their return, Lacus rushed from the Eternal to the Archangel at once. She arrived the second they had just finished extracting the unconscious but still alive and breathing Kira Yamato out of Strike Rouge's cockpit. They were all quite surprised to see her openly showing her…attachment to him then, when she drew him into her arms, crying and smiling with relief and happiness.

From the Kusanagi, Colonel Ledonir Kisaka came himself to escort the princess back to the ship where she belonged. Cagalli just barely made it out of the cockpit when he reached her. Smiling one last smile, she fainted right then and there, caught safely by her guardian. An oddly sad smile on his face, Kisaka properly excused himself out, taking the princess back with him.

As for Athrun who had come out last, he and Yzak helped him back to the Eternal, along with Lacus who took Kira with her. Athrun managed quite well with little support from both him and Yzak until they reached the doctor. He asked about Kira and Cagalli once and, knowing that they were in good hands, he gratefully sank into the arms of oblivion then.

The three slept like dead for a whole day and a whole night after that.

Cagalli was the first to wake up of all three. She, he heard later, had started a fight with the colonel at once despite everything. She wanted to see how Kira and Athrun were doing at the Eternal, she said. The latest report of her condition in his hand, Kisaka, now guardian of princess Cagalli Yula Athha of Orb once more, flatly said no. But Cagalli wouldn't be Cagalli if she didn't try at least to put up a fair fight.

They argued for a while. That is, until she got tired and so, reluctantly and grudgingly, she went back to resting as he told her to. For the time being.

Colonel Ledonir Kisaka admitted later that he knew it was not in her nature to do things exactly as she was told. He knew all too well that even if he locked her in her room and set guards to watch over her day and night, she would try and would eventually sneak out of the ship anyway. It had always been like that. When she really wanted to get out and really set her mind to it, not even the strongest cage in the world could hold her back. That's why it did not surprise him when Cagalli successfully snuck out to the Eternal on the fifth day.

Dearka suppressed a chuckle, recalling the look on Athrun's face when he got 'attacked' then later realized that it was only her.

That day, he and Yzak were visiting an awake and bedridden Athrun, who complained unhappily about how the doctor kept insisting him to rest still even when he was feeling fine now. He was bored, he said, and he was honestly sick of staying in bed all the time and being treated as though he was a helpless invalid.

Yzak was commenting that he should be happy since people were trying so hard to pamper and spoil him rotten, when, suddenly, the door opened and a whirl of gold, orange and white rushed into the room, attacking and attaching itself to Athrun.

"What the hell!" yelled Yzak.

It was the oddest and funniest sight they had seen from the always cool, calm and collected Athrun Zala ever. It was so funny that he couldn't help but laughed and laughed and laughed at the look on his friend's face then.

Green eyes blinking blankly in shocked surprise up at the ceiling, arms half-raised as though unsure of what to do, the expression of sheer clueless confusion on his face, and her attaching tightly to him… oh, how he wished he had a camera with him now!

"It's okay, Athrun," he said after he managed to calm down a little. "Just Cagalli. If you haven't noticed that already."

Cagalli pulled away from him and looked at his face. She, too, laughed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she apologized, letting go of him. "I'm just glad to be able to see you again. I went to Kira but…"

"What are you doing here, Cagalli?" asked Athrun, suddenly serious. "I thought you were supposed to be in the Kusanagi, recovering…"

"Don't you dare start that crap with me, too!" she cried, her eyes flashing. "Nothing's wrong with me! I'm fine! Why can't people see that?"

Athrun's eyes were thoughtful as he regarded her quietly. "We're worried about you, Cagalli."

She threw her hands in the air. "Stop worrying about me then! What is it with you people? Kisaka, especially! He wouldn't let me come and see you and Kira here! He said I would be seeing you two in Orb but that's days away! He said you two were fine but how could I know if it's true or not if I couldn't come and see by myself! Not that I don't trust his words but Kisaka can be too overprotective sometimes. Just because I fought in the battle and came back tired and a bit hurt, he made it as though I got into a serious accident that nearly killed me or something! I can't believe he actually set guards to keep me in my room even! It's not my fault that I couldn't help but feel worried when I woke up and heard that you and Kira weren't awake yet. I thought I…"

Athrun put a finger over her lips, stopping her from babbling anymore.

"I think I understand why Kisaka-san wants to keep you inside the Kusanagi until we reach earth now," said Athrun, smiling a small smile. Gently, he cupped her cheek with one hand while taking her hand with the other. "Calm down, Cagalli. I know you have been worried about us. I and Kira. But we are all right. For now we are fine. So, don't worry about us… Don't worry for us anymore…"

She blinked at him once, twice. Then, a tear fell, followed by another, and another, and another…

Maybe it was just him but, was she surprised? Surprised at her own tears? Was that why her hand had come up and felt her damp cheek? Was that why she brought her hands to her mouth to muffle the sound of broken sobbing that was involuntarily torn from her lips?

"I was worried… I-I woke up and there was no one… It was dark and… I saw Father, Asagi, Juri, Mayura… I saw…my friends, and Ahmed… They were… I couldn't sa… Then, I tried to l-look for you and Kira. I looked everywhere… I d-didn't know what to do… I tried…I…"

Athrun pulled her to him and held her close. He whispered to her soft, soothing words, stroking her hair comfortingly, as she cried into his chest.

And what was left for him and Yzak to do but to leave them alone after that?

A couple of hours or so later, they met the colonel Ledonir Kisaka himself on their way to the cafeteria. He was here to retrieve the head-strong princess, he said.

They exchanged a look and, choosing words carefully, he told the colonel that he might want to come back later since she…was not feeling well.

Smooth, Dearka. Real smooth.

But Kisaka understood. He asked them to direct him to the room anyway.

"I would like to see, with my own eyes, that she is all right and in good hands, is all."

They were alike, weren't they? The princess and her bodyguard.

So, they took him there, Athrun's room, where they found Cagalli fast asleep in Athrun's arms with her head on his shoulder and one hand clutching onto his shirt still.

Athrun turned to look when they came in. Dearka remembered his own surprise at seeing… peace, something he hadn't seen from his friend for quite a while, in those green eyes again. Arm that had been holding her gently to him tightened slightly, protectively, when he saw Kisaka coming in with them.

"I apologize for any problem our princess might have caused you," said Kisaka politely, quietly, mindful of the fact that 'the princess' was sleeping.

Athrun shook his head. "Not at all. In fact, I would like to ask you, colonel Kisaka, to please let Cagalli stay here for a little longer. I promise that I would see to it myself she returns safely to the Kusanagi when she wakes up."

He glanced at Yzak and saw that his friend was just as surprised as he was. They had never seen Athrun showing any kind of…interest to any girl before in the past. He did not speak much of his own fiancée and when he did, his description was often vague and his expression absent.

Looking at him now, however, it's more than obvious that Athrun wasn't just interested in the girl he was holding in his arms then – even the blind would be able to tell that he liked her. A lot, too, else he wouldn't have said what he did to the colonel.

Kisaka looked calmly at Athrun. "I cannot possibly do that, Mr. Zala. My own worry about the princess' well being right now and the reputation she may gain later in Orb after this war, I understand that you and Mr. Yamato need some time to…sort things out as well?"

Athrun smiled weakly. "That's exactly why we need her here. At least I know that I do need her with me. It is selfish, yes. Unforgivably so. But, after everything that has happened up until now… she and Kira are the only things I have left to hold onto and to believe in. I need someone to be here for me… someone who also needs me to be there for her… someone who understands…. Kira will, too. I think he will need such attention and understanding more than I do…"

What complication, thought Dearka, sighing in annoyance.

He was brought back to his present situation when he felt a soft pressure against his shoulder.

Turning slowly, cautiously so, he blinked down in surprise at the sleeping face of his so-far-very-quiet companion, who, apparently, had fallen asleep during the time he spent walking down the memory lane.

Dearka continued to stare blankly at her relaxed and almost peaceful expression for a full minute before he recovered and carefully adjusted her into a more comfortable position.

I know she's going to kill me for this later, he thought with a touch of regret, but I will get killed either by that big bodyguard of hers or Athrun, or both, anyway, if I don't at least try to take care of her.

And, for the first time that he had a good look at her, Dearka noticed how truly tired and troubled she looked even while she was sleeping. Her face pale, a slight crease between her brows, there were also dark circles under her eyes, not to mention that she seemed to have lost some weight, too.

But then, considering how little she eats and sleeps these days, it's no surprise that she's the way she is…

Sighing exasperatedly, he pulled at his jacket and gently draped it over her.

So now… he leant back in his seat, returning to staring at the space outside the window once again. He just needed to remember to take his jacket back before she woke up, or else he would find himself a lot more brown and burnt than he already was.

I wonder how much longer till we get there…

The door to the control room slid open and a young man stepped out. He glanced briefly around then, noticing Dearka and his companion sitting in the back near the window, he walked toward them.

"Mr. Dearka Elthman?" he asked in a carefully soft voice.

Dearka turned to look at him. "Yes?"

"We should be there in half an hour, so can you please wake the princess up ten minutes before we arrive so she can get ready?" he asked.

"Where are we heading to anyway?" asked Dearka, more annoyed than before.

The young man looked surprised. "Lagrange point 4's Colony, of course. Didn't princess Cagalli tell you that?"

"Lagrange point 4's Colony?" he stared at the young man, too surprised to come up with a smart comment to retort his question. "Why there?"

The young man's expression turned sober. "That, Mr. Elthman, you will have to ask the princess herself. Now, if you will please excuse me…"

Dearka frowned as he watched the young man made his way back to the control. He then looked down at his sleeping companion.

"I sure hope you know what you are doing, princess."


An aching heart beating… beating with pain, with sorrow, with guilt…

"I'm sorry…" tormented voice whispered, sobbing. "I'm so sorry for everything…"

"Please, you must leave!" another voice implored, urgent and fearful. "You must go now before they are here, before he finds out that I let you in here! Please…please, I promise that you will see him again later! Please go while you still can!"

Reluctance and sadness, fleeting anger and unending happiness, hazy confusion from excessive crying and helplessness…the aching heart was beating…beating and breaking…

"Thank you…" sincere gratitude, the faintest resemblance of control returning slowly. "And I'm very sorry I caused you such troubles…"

"No! No, it's all right, really! Just…just please hurry! Here, let me help…"

A sense of relief, then movement. Slow, clumsy movement contrasting sharply to every quickening beating of the heart.

The movement stopped. Breathing unsteady and body trembling. Voices sounded from behind as if far away.

"…I will try to find an opportunity for you to see him again," the same voice, slightly lighter with most of fear and urgency gone, promised quietly. "Please, go home now. Go before anyone will suspect anything…"

Broken heart breaking…breaking but still beating with hope, determination and fierce protectiveness for another life…

"Thank you," the voice, calmer but still heavy with suffering, whispered gratefully. "Thank you for everything you have done for us…"

Solemn and full of remorse, the other voice murmured back, "And I'm sorry – so very sorry – for all that happened to you and your family. Nobody should ever have to go through things so horrible such as this…."

The same haunting pain, sorrow, and guilt returned. The beating had slowed to normal again but the heart was bitter and sad.

"I don't care for myself…. I don't care if I have to go through worse things than these but…my children. My child…"

Broken, breaking heart called for the other that was far away… the other heart that was beating strong with life… the other heart that was calling for another life within…

"Please…" tears had never stopped falling just as the heart never stopped loving, "Please protect him and be there for him just as I have protected and been here for you. Hold him and tell him when he is sad and crying, that he shall never be alone, that he shall always be loved. Please…take care of him. Take care of your brother…"


Author's Note: So…I re-read the story and decided to turn it into a long-shot with all the smaller ideas put together. Thanks for the all the reviewers! And, moi, this story is for you as a thank-you for sticking up with me since my first story! Yes, I rushed it the last time, but the Kira/Cagalli conversation's going to be in here in later chapter, too. So, please stay with me until then.

Hope you enjoy reading the first chapter! Comments and constructive criticisms are welcomed but don't flame me please, thanks!