Of God and Man

Disclaimers: See chapter one

A/N: Thanks to Beany, Blix Howlet and all my other reviewers. You guys rock. Don't expect canon with this one people. I'm putting characters in the story who best fit. I don't care if they're dead or alive. Religion is going to come to the forefront now. Kurt is coming home from England. There is no romance but Wolvie is attracted to Carolyn. He's a man guys, he thinks with his dick. Those of you who are Catholic will recognize some of the references. Those who are not and are curious, e-mail me and I will explain them.

Thanks again to Stan Lee and the geniuses at Marvel for the unauthorized use of their babies. I'll put them back when I'm through.

Chapter Four: Training from Hell

Several weeks passed and Carolyn was settling as best she could. She still had problems with the occasional burst of emotion but the team was learning to cope. Her shield still gave her problems at times. A sudden bloom of anger would bring them crashing down. She learned to meditate in some of the oddest places. It was not unusual to find her sitting on the couch in front of a blaring television, deep in meditation, trying to repair her shattered shield.

It was there that Kurt Wagner found her the morning he came home from England. Logan had called him to tell him about the nun/empath. He had to admit, he was a little nervous. The nuns he had known in Germany were formidable women. They wouldn't take crap from anyone. He wondered if it was a requirement to enter the sisterhood to be ugly and mean. What he found surprised him.

She was dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, her feet bare and her brown hair long and wavy. A tiny crucifix peeked out from the shirt. She was much younger than he thought she should have been. Nuns were older women, he thought to himself, not this beautiful vision in the prime of her life.

"Are you going to introduce yourself or just stare at me?" she asked, not opening her eyes. She had learned to carry on a semi intelligent conversation while still meditating.

"Sorry," he blushed purple. "I'm Kurt Wagner. Logan told me you were here and asked me to meet you."

"Carolyn Gibson," she said. "Logan told me not to be afraid of you appearance. He also told me you were a priest. Is that true?"

"It's complicated Sister," he squirmed. "I thought I was but it ended up to be an elaborate mind game someone played on me."

"Don't call me Sister," she said. "I've been thrown out of the convent. I keep my vows because they were to God, not to the convent, but I can't claim to be a nun any more."

"You have kept your vows?" he asked, surprised.

"Expulsion from the convent has not released me from my vows and I don't wish to be released. I am what I am and my devotion to God is part of me. I can't throw away a lifetime of service simply because of a bunch of frightened women."

"And the turmoil you caused here and in Bakersfield?"

"I have confessed to God and am doing the penance I have assigned myself." She opened her eyes and looked at Kurt. "He did say you looked like a blue demon. I guess I shouldn't be so surprised."

"I could turn on my image inducer if you wish," he told her, his head lowered in shame.

"You are as God made you. Don't be ashamed of it." She cocked her head and her eyes went glassy. Kurt recognized the signs of telepathic conversation. "I have to go. Logan wants me to start some exercises." She got up and looked down at him. "I am starting a Novena tonight for the health of the Pope. Will you join me?"

"I would be honored," he said bowing over her hand.

"After dinner in my room," she told him as she left the den.

"The Kata is a series of movements that are used in many forms of martial arts," Logan explained. "The progression from one movement to the next brings a peace to the mind that, with meditation, can help ya control better."

They were standing in a large patch of lawn in the middle of Ororo's gardens. Flowers were blooming around them in a riot of color. This was his favorite place to do his exercises. The scents from the flowers and trees was invigorating and renewed his spirit.

"The positions are easy," he told her. "The trick is ta make one flow to the next. That ain't easy."

He demonstrated the first two movements for her then motioned for her to do them, correcting her position several times. They went through the exercise too many times for Carolyn to count. By the time he sent her back to the mansion, she was sweaty and exhausted.

She met Jubilee in the hall as she trudged up to her room to soak in a hot bath. Carolyn had come to like the gregarious teenager. She wasn't afraid to express herself.

Carolyn had spent most of her life suppressing her true nature. The sisters had demanded she tone down her natural exuberance in deference to the solemn nature of the convent. She became used to hiding her feelings until her mutation manifested at thirteen. She still gave no outward clues as to her feelings but the inner turmoil began to transfer to the sisters. The Mother Superior advised prayer to help her sort out the turbulent emotions that came along with puberty and adolescence. She hadn't been surprised to find that it worked.

She was raised Catholic and religion had been a focus in her thoughts for all her life. After her parents death when she was eight, she had come to live in the convent with her aunt Theresa. When she was appointed Mother Superior of the convent, Carolyn, naturally, stayed and took the vows of a novice. She knew her emotions were being transferred to the sisters but was too afraid to tell her aunt. She kept her secret by praying constantly in her head. Even after Carolyn and her aunt were transferred to Bakersfield to teach, six months before everything started to come apart.

Three days after the riot that left the rectory a smoldering ruin, Charles Xavier and Jean Grey knocked on the convent door and her life was turned inside out. Mother Superior insisted on being at the meeting between Carolyn and the two telepaths. Charles and Jean had tried to make themselves clear without revealing to the imposing nun that her niece was a mutant but when Aunt Theresa had asked her what she did, Carolyn couldn't lie. She told her what had happened.

Inside of two hours, she found herself in the back seat of a taxi, Jean beside her and Charles in front, her ears still ringing from the screeches of Mother Superior telling her never to come back. She cried until they were on the plane for New York when Jean reached over and turned her mind off.

She came to in the back seat of a vintage Rolls Royce. Charles told her that they were going to a school he ran for mutants and promised to help her control her powers but she would have to control her own emotions first. For the first time in her life, Carolyn couldn't pray. Her mind was filled with rejection and anger. The prayers wouldn't come.

They had first tried electronic shields but her raw, uncontrolled emotions overwhelmed them quickly. Charles had attempted to block her powers but was unsuccessful. As a last ditch effort, they handed her what equipment they had and asked her to make camp in the woods. She stayed there, fuming and crying, until Logan showed up a week later.

With his help, she moved back into the mansion and apologized to everyone for the trouble she had caused. Most had forgiven her but Kitty Pryde still looked at her with hostile eyes and Remy LaBeau avoided her completely. The others accepted her with varying degrees of warmth but she had gotten close to Jubilee.

"Hey Jubes," she said as she entered to house after her lesson with Logan.

Jubilee took in the battered appearance in front of her. "You look whipped," she remarked. "What happened?"

"Logan," she moaned. "He's trying to kill me."

"The Marque de Sade school of fitness," smiled Jubilee. "I'm a graduate. If Wolvie was trying ta kill ya, you'd be dead."

"Ya ain't a graduate yet kid," Logan said from behind Carolyn. "Ya still got more ta learn." He slid past her carrying the mats bumping her with one as he went by. She hissed in pain as the soft mat collided with a sore spot on her shoulder. "Danger Room in ten minutes Carol." he said as he strode down the hall.

She hung her head in defeat. "Told ya he was trying to kill me," she growled at Jubilee.

"Stop and see Hank and get a pain killer," she told her. "It'll get better in a few days."

"Promises, promises," she grumbled as she made her way, painfully, to the lower levels.

This was her first time in the Danger Room. She had observed the team in training and had been impressed with their skills. She had no illusions that she would ever reach their level but she knew she needed to learn to protect herself. Being a mutant in a world full of humans who feared and loathed you wasn't safe. Being an alpha level mutant in that same world was outright dangerous.

Both Logan and Charles had warned her that she will become a target for anyone seeking to control the world by using her powers. They had both told her stories about the mutants and humans most likely to come after her. That was enough to convince her to allow Logan to show her how to hurt someone enough so they wouldn't come after her. Logan had tried to teach her how to kill if necessary but she had refused to learn.

"If it comes down to killing or falling inta the hands of someone like Magneto, you'd better kill," he tried reasoning with her.

"If I fall into the hands of someone who would use me, I expect the X-Men to kill me," she told him. "I'm not saying I won't fight back Logan, but I won't kill. Nothing you can say will change that."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Even Cyke will kill when he doesn't have a choice."

"There's always a choice."

"Not always. Would ya rather be dead or captured?"

"I can't sacrifice a life for my freedom." She was beginning to get angry with him. Why couldn't he accept that she couldn't do it?

"Why the hell not?" he yelled. "They'd sacrifice yers."

"That doesn't make it right," she yelled back, her control slipping.

Logan felt it. Anger was building up inside him and the beast started to pace it's cage.

"If ya stick ta yer religious principles, yer gonna end up dead or in the hands of yer enemies," he growled. Why was she being so stubborn?

"Maybe it's God's will that it happen."

His vision was beginning to turn red with anger. He felt the pain of his claws emerging and knew she was in mortal danger.

"Calm me," he ordered through clenched teeth.

He eyes went round with fear but she obeyed. She closed her eyes and she jumped into her chapel and began to project calm. It wasn't easy. She was very frightened. She needed to push the fear away before she could access the calm. When she opened her eyes, his fist, with all of the claws extended was inches from her face. He was breathing heavily but his eyes were clearing.

The claws slowly retracted into his forearms and his arm lowered. His eyes were hard but completely clear. Suddenly, he smiled.

"Knew ya could do it."

"What?" she yelled. "You did this on purpose?"

"Course," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her up off the floor.

"Why?" She was astounded. "You could have killed me."

"'Ro and I decided ya needed a boost to yer self confidence. Yer afraid ta use yer powers on other people. I figured if ya can calm me, yer gonna be able ta calm a crowd of angry people."

"This was a test?" she demanded.

"Yep," he confirmed. "I was near a berserker rage from the anger ya were projecting. Ya calmed me by switching off the anger and turning on the calm." He spread his arms to his side, showing that they were both whole and unharmed. "Ya did it darlin'. We both survived."

"I did it?" she said in a small voice. He nodded happily. "I did it," she shrieked and threw herself into his arms hugging him close. His arms wrapped around her to return the hug.

Logan's rages have a side effect that the women in the mansion are all well aware of. Carolyn was introduced to the problem when she hugged him and his erection pressed tightly against her belly. She pulled out of the embrace, her cheeks pink.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "Yer an attractive woman and my body's aware of that."

"It's okay," she told him. "It's part of being a man. I must say, I'm flattered your body likes mine but I'm taken."

"I know," he told her, "but that part of me doesn't have any brain cells."

"That's why God put your brain up here," she said tapping his head, "and not..."

"I get it," he interrupted.

She laughed at his discomfort. "I taught sex education Logan. I'm fully aware of the function of the human male as a sexual being."

"How did a virgin nun end up teaching sex ed?" he asked.

"I was the youngest teacher in the school," she explained as they left the Danger Room. "The administrators figured that the students would listen to me because I was closer to them in age than any of the others. Better me than Sister Margaret. She is fifty-three and the next youngest. She is also a prude. I understand that teenagers are curious about sex. I answered their questions truthfully and was willing to discuss birth control as long as it was off church property."

"Didn't ya get inta trouble fer that?"

"I taught abstinence during class but I let everyone know that if they had other questions, I would see them in the book store across the street," she said with a shrug. "It worked."

The elevator door opened with a swoosh and Remy LaBeau stepped out. "I better go. I'll see you at lunch." She entered the elevator and pressed the button for the third floor.

"Ya can't avoid her ferever Gumbo," Logan said to his friend.

"She makes Gambit uncomfortable," he admitted.

"You were raised Catholic weren't ya?"

"Oui," he replied. "A nun rejected by her convent is bad news, homme. I gotta bad feelin' 'bout her."