Title: An Irreplaceable Lotus

Chapter Four

"It will only take a minute," Tomoyo heard herself promising, telling herself harshly not to praise Gwen during times where Sakura needed her most. "How much could I possibly have to say?"

"I—" Syoaran hesitated, and looked like a deer caught in headlights. Good. Let him sweat. He deserved at least a bit of discomfort for all the trouble he's caused. Scooting back his chair, he began to get up when Gwen put a hand on his and gave him a "Go for it!" look.

She was irritatingly nice.

Once the two of them had shut the din of the classroom behind the door, Tomoyo turned to face Syoaran looking as calm as she thought possible. She didn't want him to think she called him all the way over here just to screech and preach and lecture him on the wickedness of his ways. "She's cute." Was her first comment, and watched as he shifted uncomfortably in his spot. "Is she really preferable over Sakura, though?"

She was the cool-headed Tomoyo. If there was someone who'd understand, it'd hopefully be her… right? Yet, he couldn't think of a reply. She'd probably just tell him the same thing Meiling did: break up with Sakura and end her misery.

"Listen, in all honesty, I don't mean to be mean-spirited, Li. I've tried in every such way to try and look at this reasonable to make out any possible perspective that could make me understand what you and Gwen could possibly be thinking by getting together and simultaneously torturing Sakura. Not a single point of view comes to mind."

"Daidouji," Syoaran interjected, trying to maintain the calmness in his voice. "You are by far one of the most intelligent and open-minded people I know. But you must understand that you're her best friend, and that makes this situation different. You're clearly biased."

"As her closest friend, yes, I'd very much have liked for you and Sakura to have avoided this mess altogether. But if you intend to continue this playtime with another girl, Li, I'll have to remind you that she's your friend too. And as one, I'm sure you'd agree it would be more beneficial to just drop her with whatever strength and dignity she has left."

Syoaran's heart fell, and his eyes seemed to faze out. He needed to grab the wall to keep his balance as the words hit him. Considering Sakura not as a girlfriend, but a friend? For God's sake, she was a friend. If someone else had done this to her, he'd have kicked his ass.

"All I know is, by the way you look at it, it just seems that Sakura's side is worse than my own." Syoaran began in a thinly veiled attempt to defend himself, despite not having any points to make everything seem alright.

"'Seems?' What's your sob story?" Tomoyo asked, surprising the both of them with the bitterness in both her words and her tone. "You're having the time of your life with that girl, while Sakura's the on shouldering the hurt. That's why you're scum, and she's not."

"Despite what you may be thinking right now, about me and about us, despite my own actions—trust me when I say I love her." Syoaran slid down the wall until he was squatting, and pulled his arms over his head.

Tomoyo's expression relaxed, as she knelt down in front of him, and used her right hand to lift his chin until she could look directly into his big, brown eyes. Allowing the smallest of forgiving smiles, she stroked his jaw with her thumb.

"Break up with her." She said with that same, friendly, calm look. Then she withdrew her hand. "At this point, I'm not even asking you anymore. I'm telling you: break up with Sakura." Syoaran lifted his head in surprise, and she dropped her smile. "For the past week you've been pushing your luck and testing the limits of Sakura's good will—not to mention all the while annoying the hell out of me. You want an unbiased opinion? Go talk to Meiling. She'll give you a fine dose of reality in telling you off in her own diplomatic way."

She stood up, and began to walk back to the classroom. But just as she touched the door handle, she looked back to him, her eyes looking distant and somewhat teary. "As much as I'd like her to right now, Sakura doesn't hate you. She can pretend and she can try to smile all her troubles away, but I can sense the hurt in her voice. She's delicate, but she's strong. You should know that better than anyone—so quit trying to wreck her."

Closing her eyes, she released a breath she didn't even know she was holding. Opening the sliding door, Tomoyo entered the classroom and promptly slammed it shut behind her. Once Syoaran returned to the classroom after a breather or two, he found Tomoyo talking to Meiling and Sakura. Sakura seemed… almost cheerful. As if everything hadn't gone to hell these past couple of days. All of a sudden, the room seemed empty, as if everyone were someplace far, far away.

He missed Sakura.

He wanted to be the one who put that smile on her face. He wanted to be able to walk over there, sit down beside her, and join in on the conversation like he would've been able to last week, or the week before. He hadn't hugged her even once since this whole misunderstanding had begun. Perhaps this was the opportune moment to sort things out—was that selfish?

Gwen had actually struck up a conversation with a bunch of their classmates, which left him feeling even more alone. Acknowledging his presence, she waved him over once she caught sight of him. At her announcement, Sakura's eyes rose to meet his, and the entire room and noise ripped away from beneath them.

It was just him and her.

She raised an eyebrow with an unreadable look on her face, and turned to glance at the one who had plowed them into ruin.

Then she was gone.

She resumed talking to Meiling, turning away from him completely, The whole room resumed its chatter and movement, and in a span of two seconds the group of them burst out in laughter.

Giving an apologetic bow to Gwen for ignoring her invitation, Syoaran bolted out of the classroom again. Once he reached the unhygienic school washroom, he looked at his reflection in the fingerprint-smeared mirror.

Looking all but healthy, he looked exhausted and worn out—which all in all wasn't too far off from how he was feeling. Splashing some cold water against hi face, Syoaran groaned like a man with a hangover a reality dawned on him. Lots of guys would die for the chance to date Sakura. She wasn't just cute, she had one of the highest averages, a healthy athletic build—and above all else, she had a great personality nobody could refuse.

She was open about many different points of view, and made everyone feel welcome and close. All Gwen was a face, a brain, and a body. Her personality was as warming as a popsicle, but she he could never place the blame of that on her.

"I can't let this go on forever," he muttered to himself as he exited the school, wondering exactly where to go. "Or else I'll regret it. I need to make my choice."

He just prayed it was the right one.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sakura looked up at the clock to the far right of the classroom. She'd been acting happy for five periods now, and there was only two minutes more until the bell rang for them to be dismissed. Her face ached from smiling so much, and it had not escaped her attention that Syoaran hadn't returned to school after "going to the washroom" for over twenty minutes.

Tomoyo had gone off to take the attendance to the office, and Meiling had been pulled off to the side by Yamasaki to discuss something or other. Despite being stranded, she was relieved that she had no need to smile so much when there was no one there to see her do it. Laying her face in her hands, Sakura closed her eyes and felt the relief of her muscles spread throughout her.

"See? She's alone. Why don't you just go over there and talk to her, if you like her so much? Aren't you a man?" Meiling asked from the other side of the classroom, looking in Sakura's direction. He made a strange face, as if he had just tasted something sour. "I said she was hot, but that doesn't make her any less scary."

"Scary? Sakura's not scary."

"Not her, I meant Gwen." Yamasaki felt a slow blush creep across his face. It was a color change that could've given tomatoes a run for their money.

"Ah, I remember you calling her attractive." Meiling said with a coy smile, "So what's this? You like Gwen now, or what?"

Suddenly, the two of them watched Sakura's head bang against the table, and they quickly hurried back to see what the matter was.

Feeling tired to an absurd degree, she had fallen asleep on the table and jerked up since she was still in school. Giving a yelp, she covered her forehead with her hands and rubbed.

She was so cute.

Luckily, the bell rang then and there, so she didn't have to worry about spending the next twenty minutes keeping herself fully conscious. As the class cleared out, Gwen was among the last ones packing.

As Sakura collected her binders and left, Meiling stopped in front of Gwen and essentially blocked her exit. "What are you waiting for?" Without another word, she raised a fist and punched Gwen in the jaw. Upon impact, Gwen toppled over backwards before stumbling over a chair and falling hard against the floor with a startled yelp.

"Meiling! What was that for?"

"You're not too discreet, are you?" Meiling asked angrily, shaking her hand. "If you're here to tell her to stay away from Syoaran, then bug off: he'll make that decision on his own. Can't get him yourself, can you, princess? Well, don't approach Saku after all you've done."

"I see," Gwen said, rising to her legs while keeping one hand on her cheek. "You still have that jealousy problem."

Fighting back the urge to strike her again, Meiling simply grabbed at the collar of Gwen's uniform and pulled her close. "Get over your conniving self, won't you? You keep watching, and you'll see for yourself that the one Syoaran loves will never be me or you. You can't change destiny—those two have more of it than you can ever weasel!"

"If you truly think that way, why are you screaming at me?" Gwen asked, grabbing Meiling's arms and prying them off of her with close to no difficulty. Still as strong as ox, Meiling thought as she withdrew them. "How do you explain their relationship becoming crippled the minute I came into play? I can't believe you hit me!"

"You're trying to make us believe you're still that same, hurt, innocent girl from the past. But you're not. Now you're a snotty, conceited, manipulator."

"So says the equivocator. How lucky Syoaran has such a Paragon of Wisdom by his side." Gwen quipped sadly before scooping up her bag and leaving the room.

And that was it.

No angry retort, no aggressive hit back—nothing.

Meiling had done it to defend Sakura's honor, but why did she suddenly feel so raw and wrong?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Had Gwen actually been trying to approach her in the classroom?

Sakura had taken off like a jackrabbit across the football field after she sensed Gwen among the remaining students back at school. How cowardly of her. Still, she'd rather die than talk to her right now and risk turning into a bubbling faucet.

Then again, maybe she hadn't gone to talk to her about Syoaran and all the ways she should just exit herself from his life. Maybe she wanted to apologize for taking and attempting to desecrate her cards. Maybe she wanted to apologize for taking and attempting to desecrate her sanity by appropriating her boyfriend. She always had been optimistic.

Yeah, okay. Turn left here.

She stopped mid-turn when she saw Syoaran sitting on top of one of the swings at Penguin Park, looking as if somebody had just stuffed his puppy in a blender. Flicking her eyes down to the path in front of her, she pointedly tried to avoid him. Who was he waiting for, anyway? Her?

Then again, this was where she'd seen him and Gwen kiss for the first time. Who's to say he wasn't waiting for her again this time?

Spotting her right away and her attempt to slide by unnoticed, he leapt from the swing and onto his feet. "Sakura." It took barely a moment, but in a flash he was right in front of her and had embraced her in a tight, longing hug. Too shocked at the moment to return the favor, Sakura just stood rooted to the spot. What was she to feel? Happy? Triumphant? Angry?

Did Syoaran really think he could do this to her without having her mind even the slightest bit?

"Before you start telling me the top fifty reasons why you hate me," Syoaran whispered, refusing to loosen his death grip. "Sakura, I am so sorry. I really am. I should've come to this conclusion long ago, but—you're the one I need. Not Gwen."

She hated this boy. She loved this boy.

She had risked her life on several occasions to capture the cards with him. He risked his life on several occasions to save her and capture the cards. They had been competitors—they had been friends.

Annoyingly pleasant memories flashed in her mind, and Sakura felt strangely angry that these feelings were taking over her body. Syoaran had cheated on her, and she had come to the strict conclusion that he was untrustworthy and a spawn of Satan. Pushing against his chest furiously and pulling herself back to glance at his face to scold and scream in a bloody rampage, her anger slipped from her current repertoire of emotions and was replaced by nothing but pure shock.

He was crying.