Of God and Man
Disclaimers: Yeah, sure, I own 'em. Gimme all your money. Sheesh. If I owned the X-Men, ya think I'd be writing fanfics? Get real. Although I must say, if I did own 'em, I'd treat 'em better than Marvel has. I'd let Jean get pregnant, Scott buy a sense of humor, Jubilee grow up, Rogue control her powers and get laid and Logan have a woman for longer than five issues.
A/N: As you read in the last chapter, Logan has the hots for our virginal ex nun. I said this wasn't a romance and it isn't. You have so many people living in such close quarters, you're bound to have some hankie-pankie going on. Let's see how Logan handles his attraction to a woman who is committed to celibacy.
Special A/N: A million thanks to dizi for letting me borrow her OC, Jenny. You're the best Deana.
Feedback: I love my reviewers. Everyone who reviews gets my undying appreciation. Everyone who flames gets twenty lashes with a wet noodle and gets gossiped about in the writers chat room.
Chapter 7: I'm What?
Carolyn continued to train with Logan but she no longer felt completely comfortable alone with him. After two days of smoldering looks, 'accidental' strokes with a firm hand and whispered suggestions, she'd had enough. She begged and pleaded and finally got Jubilee to join them for their sparing sessions. She knew she was being a coward by not talking to him but she was afraid to loose his friendship.
She had tried to tell him that no matter what her body said, her principles weren't interested in a sexual relationship with him. She prayed every night that someone else would come to the mansion and take the heat off her. Unfortunately, there seemed to be a lull in the manifestation of beautiful female mutants of a level high enough to draw the attention of the X-Men. So she spent her days fending off his advances and her nights having vivid erotic dreams about him. At least she hadn't yet broadcasted her dreaming emotions to the rest of the mansion. That would have been too much for her to handle.
She and Rogue continued to pray the Rosary every night in her room. Logan would often slip in after they had begun simply to watch. He never attempted to interrupt or join them. After a week, she began to feel comfortable with him watching.
Rogue started to ask questions about the church. Carolyn answered them as truthfully and simply as she could. She was very careful not to lie or to preach to her. She wanted Rogue to decide for herself how she felt. She didn't need to worry about influencing the pretty belles emotions. Charles and Hank had confirmed that Rogue was completely unaffected by her powers. She was extremely careful not to touch her. She didn't want Rogue's decisions affected by her own devotion to God. Rogue needed to develop her own relationship with the church.
Six weeks after the unexpected kiss, Logan suddenly changed his tactics. He stopped trying to lure her into his bed or trying to sneak into hers and started to woo her. He brought flowers to her classroom one afternoon which got the kids talking. The talk eventually made it's way to the teachers. Scott scowled every time he saw her. Jean found the whole situation funny and watched them closely. Rogue was pleased that she had another woman to tell her about their love lives. Jubilee, who'd been nursing a crush on Logan for years, wasn't sure what she thought about it. She liked Carolyn and didn't want to hurt her but she couldn't help but feel jealous of his attention to her science and sex ed teacher. The first time he asked her out on a date, she was so surprised that she said no. The disappointment on his face made her feel so guilty that she was the one who asked him out twenty-four hours later. He had an odd look on his face when she asked him but he said yes.
She took him to a small steak house in town that Jubilee had recommended. The night was a total disaster. The food wasn't nearly as good as Jubes had promised and the waitress kept coming on to Logan, virtually ignoring Carolyn in the process. After sending her overcooked steak back twice, she finally decided to stick to salad. Oddly enough, Logan's meal was perfectly cooked and he had said that it was delicious. When the waitress brought the check, she placed it near Logan. After a brief but fierce struggle, she wrestled the check away from him and paid the bill, omitting a tip. If she hadn't been so upset about the poor quality of the service, she might have laughed at the look on the woman's face when she saw who paid for the meals.
She stomped out of the restaurant nearly in tears. This had been her first date ever and everything had gone wrong. The food was awful and the service deplorable. Logan must think she's incredibly stupid for choosing to bring him here. When she found that the car had been stolen while they had been eating that miserable excuse for a meal, she totally lost it and began to sob in misery.
He watched her as she leaned against the side of the restaurant, tears streaming down her face, her breath coming in great hic-cupping sobs and his heart went out to her. She had tried so hard to make this night special but still comfortable for both of them but everything conspired against her. She didn't deserve to have to eat bad food and deal with a rude waitress. And she really didn't deserve to have her ride stolen while she was being tortured by the restaurant.
He pulled her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. He finally realized how stressed she was. She was projecting sadness to such a degree that passers by were bursting into tears. He had to get her calmed down or people would begin to notice.
"Darlin', yer leakin'," he whispered.
"I don't care," she wailed into his shoulder. "I'm never doing this again."
"Aw, don't stop dating just 'cause ya had a lousy first date," he advised gently. "Think of it like this. Ya already had the date from hell, it can only get better."
She gave him a small, watery giggle and began to relax in his arms.
"Logan?" she said in a small voice.
"Yeah darlin'?" He ran his hands soothingly up and down her back.
"I like being with you."
"I like bein' with you too."
"But..."
"Uh oh."
"You're a good friend and teacher but I don't love you. I don't think I'll ever love you."
"Ya know," he said lightly. "There's somthin' about an inexperienced woman that makes men do dumb things. Like pushin' her inta somethin' she ain't ready fer," he rested his chin on her head. "I'm sorry Carol. I want ya fer a friend. I won't do anything ta make ya hate me," He kissed her cheek. "Or yerself."
She lifted her face and studied him. Her eyes were red from crying but dry. She had regained control of her emotions.
"You're a good man Logan," she whispered. "Someday, you'll find a woman who can be everything you want and need. On that day, I'll rejoice with you. Until then, I'm proud to be your friend."
"What did I ever do ta deserve a friend like you?" he asked, smiling.
"I don't know," she giggled. "Maybe you were good in a former life."
"I certainly ain't in this one," he laughed. "C'mon. Let's get ya somthin' ta eat. Harry's has the best ribs in town and the head waitress'll treat ya right."
"What about the car?" she asked.
"It's Lojacked," he told her. "I'll tap inta the satellite and find it. Don't worry. I'll get it back."
"Before it's parted out?"
"A 2004 BMW? They won't chop it. It's worth more whole."
Harry's was eight blocks from the steak house and by the time they arrived, Carolyn was starved. The air around the bar smelled heavenly to her and her stomach gave a mighty rumble as they entered. Logan snickered at the obvious signs of her hunger. His usual table in the back of the room was occupied. He was a little pissed until he saw Remy and Rogue seated there.
"Carolyn!" Rogue called as they made their was across the crowded floor. Carolyn waved enthusiastically, excited to see her friend on a night when everything went wrong. She began to feel better about the outcome until she saw Remy sharing Rogues table. Logan propelled her forward with a well placed hand, refusing to let her go anywhere else except his selected table. He was going to end the tension between Remy and Carolyn tonight if he had to sit on Carolyn and beat some sense into the Cajun.
"Sit," he ordered. She sat, resigned to another uncomfortable meal. "Ribs?" he asked.
"That's fine," she answered.
"Any withies?" She shook her head.
He left her to squirm in her seat and attempt to ignore Remy's glare.
"Jenny!" he yelled as he pushed his way through the crowd to the bar.
"Saw you come in," she said, dropping a beer in front of him. "Your date?" she asked, pointing her chin at Carolyn.
"Yeah," he replied. "Didn't go so good."
"She doesn't seem your type," remarked Jenny as she studied the brunette empath.
"Oh?"
"She looks a little.."
"Young?"
"Naive," she corrected. "The girls you usually bring in tend to be... broken in. She looks like she hasn't seen much of the world outside of the mansion."
"Well, she's been very protected most of her life," he admitted. "I guess she's a little naive."
"Don't you go corrupting her," Jenny ordered.
"Very funny," he scowled. "Just bring us a plate of ribs."
"Anything to drink?"
"Coupla beers."
"Can I get your date anything to drink?"
"Wise ass," he grumbled, his eyes sparkling. "Get her a Coke." He loved to spar with her. She always kept him on his toes and usually won their verbal battles.
When he returned to the table, he found Rogue and Remy gone. Damn that Cajun, he thought. He was going to have to try again.
Carolyn found the food at Harry's very good and liked Jenny immediately. She had a sharp wit and the education to back it. Listening to her and Logan argue about which bar-ba-que was better, St Louis or Texas left her giggling. It was a battle of wits and Logan was poorly armed. She knew by his behavior that Logan liked Jenny. He was very careful not to hurt her feelings. He finally gave up, laughing.
"Carol, if ya have any problems on this side of town, come here. Jenny'll make sure ya get home. She's good people."
"Wow!" Carolyn laughed. "That's very high praise coming from you."
"It was nice to meet you Carolyn," Jenny said. "Let me know if you need anything else."
Carolyn studied his eyes after Jenny left the table. "You care for her," she remarked.
"How'd ya figure that?" he asked, taking a large drink from his beer.
"Well, the first clue was that you didn't kill her when she insulted you," she smiled.
"Yeah, Jenny's great," he said, running a finger around the lip of his glass. "The first time I saw her she clobbered me with a tray. She's been keepin' me in line ever since." He drained his beer and started on the second.
"She knows who and what we are," he told her quietly. "It doesn't bother her. We need more people like her in the world."
They spent the rest of the evening discussing the state of human and mutant relations. They both wished there was more acceptance of mutants. Carolyn had said that if they couldn't get acceptance, tolerance would be a nice change.
Jenny called the mansion after Logan explained about the car and got them a ride home. Jean picked them up in her BMW and noticed the difference in Carolyn's demeanor right away. She sighed in resignation. She had hoped Carolyn's personality would calm the wild side of Logan.
'Oh well', she thought. 'If it's not there, it's not there.'
Carolyn's days became more predictable after she had her talk with Logan. She was up at six every day to meet him in the gardens for the Kata then they went to breakfast together. After an hour of discussing philosophy or theology in between bites, she went on to work with Storm for two hours.
She had initially found Ororo's personality cold and unfeeling but as she got to know her, she found that Storm cared very deeply for her teammates, past and present. Because of what she was and the depth of her powers, it was necessary for her to keep a rigid control over all of her emotions. She related a number of stories of what happened when her control slipped. The worst of them was when her relationship with Forge fell apart. She was so angry at him that there were thunderstorms over the mansion for three days. Charles finally had to shut her down and do some mental manipulations to stop the flooding. Ororo just didn't have the luxury of a good cry.
Carolyn had been able to build stronger shields and was able to indulge in some of her emotions but not to the extent she had before coming to Westchester. All of her teachers agreed that there were four emotions she must never give in to: fear, anger, despair and hate. If she were to project positive emotions, that could be dealt with. The negative emotions would be disastrous.
Charles had hoped that with training, she would be able to feel the emotions of others but that was not to be. She could feel the presence of other people around her but she couldn't read their emotions. She was definitely a one way empath. They began to train her to read body language and facial expressions. She practiced on the residents of the mansion. She got to be very good at reading the emotions of the X-Men.
The students were in awe of her. She was able to tell when they were up to something long before their plans were finalized. They had become used to avoiding Wolverine when they were planning a joke. He could always sniff them out and stop them before they got into any mischief. Carolyn was able to find out even as the plan blossomed in the mind of the perp. They were beginning to suspect she was telepathic.
Twice a week, Logan took her into the city and parked her on a street corner with instruction to read the body language and facial expressions of strangers. She would read them, then Logan would give them a sniff and tell her if she was right. At first, she was disappointed to find out that she was only right ten percent of the time. She gradually got better at it and after six months, she was right eighty percent of the time.
She had been at the mansion for nearly a year when she went on her first mission. It was more of a test than a mission. She was to infiltrate a gathering of the FOH and make them disband. It wasn't as hard as she thought it would be. The speaker was incredibly boring so she pushed her boredom out and amplified it. After fifteen minutes, most of the audience was asleep and the others were sitting there, glassy eyed and drooling, including the speaker.
"I may have overdone it," she told Scott when she snuck out of the meeting.
"What did you give them?" he asked.
"Boredom," she told him as they made their way back to the jet. "It wasn't that hard. The speaker was dreadful."
"Whatever works," Logan remarked as they buckled in, preparing for takeoff.
"I want Beast to run another rating test on you," Scott told her as he piloted the Blackbird home. "It should have taken you longer. You may have had a power up."
Her fists clenched the armrests as color drained from her face. Logan quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
"Whatever happened, happened," he said to her in a low voice. "Ya can't change it."
"I hate this," she told Logan as they waited in the Danger Room the next morning. Hank, Charles and Scott were in the control room uploading the test and comparing it to her last rating test. Jean had been the guinea pig for her last one. This time, she aimed at Logan. Both had formidable shields. She couldn't remember how long Jean had resisted when she took the last test but this time but she had Logan on the floor, squealing in laughter at forty eight seconds.
"It's better that ya know," he said.
"It's not that," she told him. "I feel like a dweeb just standing here doing nothing. I'm used to coming in here and having my ass handed to me on a daily basis. This just feels wrong."
"Yer not doin' too bad darlin'. Yer able ta avoid me fer over a minute now. Yer gettin' much faster."
"That's because I don't want to hit you and break a fist on your bones."
"After we get the poop from the test, I'm gonna start trainin' ya ta use yer powers in a fight. Ya need ta know what ta use and how much ta stop an opponent."
"Carolyn, Logan, please come up to the control room," Charles asked via the intercom.
"'Bout damn time," Logan mumbled.
"This is the tracing from the test you have just completed," Hank was telling her, his finger pointing to a long column of numbers. "As you can see from the psionic power figures, you have been able to refine your control and deliver a fine thread of emotions to a selected target and only that target. These are the numbers," he traced another column of numbers, "from the last test. You had been emitting a secondary wave, an echo wave, that tended to become scattered in every direction. Your target would be greatly affected, usually to the point of incapacitation. The echo wave, however, had not been strong enough to adversely affect others around you except to confuse them."
"That's good, right?" she asked.
"Not necessarily," Charles answered.
"You are only able to target one person at a time," Beast explained. "If you are surrounded by six opponents, you can take out only one. The other five are still coming after you. It takes you too long to shift your focus from one mind to another putting you at a disadvantage. That's the bad news. The good news is that you no longer emit the echo wave and the thread of power is very fine indeed. The total power output at the peek is higher and the emotion is true. Your own emotions are no longer being transmitted in the thread."
"And that means what?" she asked, dreading the answer.
"This was not a power up," he told her. "You are now a low level omega but that is only because of your control over your powers. From the fact that your use of your powers does not adversely affect you in a physical manner and the genetic markers in your DNA, I can tell you that you will have a power up with in the next three to five years. It will most likely be a increase of your own powers and not a sudden appearance of a new power. When that happens Carolyn, I will no longer be able to read your powers. This equipment is not able to record psionic power at the level you will have."
"How will I know?" she asked.
"You will feel ill for several hours before it occurs," Hank said. "It may begin with fever or nausea. If you suffer any unusual symptoms, you must find me immediately. A power up can be fatal."
"What if it happens while I'm asleep?"
"Cerebra is calibrated to look for omega mutants," Charles said. "It will sound an alarm as soon as it detects the power surge."
"I know you do not want this," Hank said sympathetically. "But there is no way to stop it. Your potential was set in your genes the day you were conceived."
She stared at her feet, unable to deal with the looks of pity they were giving her still form.
"I'm sorry Carolyn," Charles said. "I wish we had better news."
"Who else has the ability to detect omega mutants?" she asked.
"Magneto, Sinister, the Hellfire Clubs," Logan told her. "Those are the ones we know about. There may be more."
"Am I still below their detection levels?"
"Sinister and Hellfire almost certainly already know about you," Charles told her. "Magnus has not been recruiting lately but you may be a prize he can't resist."
"And so it begins," she whispered.
For the first time, Logan couldn't tell what she was feeling. She had such a tight hold on her emotions that he couldn't smell them. In one way, that was good. She wasn't affecting them with her turbulent emotions. In another way, it was very bad. There was no way for him to anticipate how she will react.
Her head came up and she looked at him, her eyes lifeless. "Logan, I need some time alone. I'll work harder tomorrow but I need to be alone today."
"Don't worry about it darlin'," he told her. "Do what ya need ta do ta get yer balance back."
She nodded and left the control room.
"What is her frame of mind?" Hank asked him.
"No idea," Logan replied. "I can't smell anything from her."
"I'm not sure if that's good or bad," Charles remarked, his expression worried.
