Title: An Irreplaceable Lotus

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Koneko notes: thanks a bunch, readers. It's nice to know people have read this far with my work. I'm still in the process of writing, rewriting, editing, reediting, so put up with it all. You have any idea how depressing is feels to spend all this time writing and have close to no reviews, though? Please give your comments, feedback, and opinions on the plotline—I actually do consider them. They're usually very creative and helpful.

Chapter Four

That day, Meiling sat on her bed, looking down at her trembling hands. She had hit Gwen. Am I… have I gone completely nuts? I'm just making her hate me. That woman holds grudges and puts pride in making one's life a living nightmare.

"Just like what she's done to Sakura this week." Meiling muttered, shaking her head. But the sentiment still stood—she had struck Gwen. When she thought back on all their memories as children, she couldn't find a single bad memory. Even when she had tried to take Syoaran for herself, Gwen had not said a single thing to her defense as she literally stood back and let it happen.

She had no confidence back then.

Actually, it sort of reminded her of Sakura now.

Frowning, she traced circles on the carpet with her foot. Friends or not, the answer was obvious. It was obvious that Gwen was wrong, and it had been obvious that she had taken Sakura's side from an unbiased perspective which had caused her to strike Gwen back in the classroom.

I had done the right thing.

So I don't care whether or not Gwen begins to make voodoo dolls out of straw and bits of my hair, I couldn't care less. I don't care. It'd all be Gwen's fault

And I'll be ready for her

I will. Really.

Probably.

Still, Gwen was no force to be reckoned with. Not just because of her influence on people, but because she had endured so much shit in her life that would have traumatized any regular sixteen-year-old girl and deserved some form of happiness.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

What, was this some sort of sick joke?

She felt as if this scene was being played out just for her, as if this was Sakura's intended way of telling Gwen that she'd won. Frozen in her tracks, she could just feel the color rising to her cheeks as she looked away, mortified.

Hoping the loud pounding in her heart couldn't be heard or possibly detected through her shirt, Gwen covered her mouth by the palm of her hand to stifle her hyperventilating.

What did Syoaran think he was doing? With her, no less!

Back in the classroom, Meiling had given her this "advice" which Gwen had absolutely refused to even think about. Now, it rang through her head like church bells on a wedding day. It had been hard enough to shut out Meiling's words, but now they just came back to bite her in the ass. Feeling weak, she fell limply to her knees with one hand on the trunk of a cherry tree.

"I don't believe this," she whispered as she bit her lip violently to keep herself from crying, "Why?"

She had seen the entire scene perfectly. The main route that led to both their houses passed through this park, and after her encounter with Meiling Gwen felt forlorn and distressed. There was an absolute need for her to run to Syoaran for consoling and once again solidifying their relationship's renewed status when she had quickly shifted behind a cherry tree, seeing that Syoaran was perched on a swing.

Doubtful that he'd be waiting for her, since she had specifically asked him to go home before her, Gwen crouched in her current position and spied on him as a jealous wife would who suspected her husband of polygamy.

Soon enough, it all made perfect sense as Sakura Kinomoto approached the park, with her rollerblades slung over her shoulder looking as if somebody had just killed her cat. Truth hit her like a dozen darts when Syoaran's entire visage brightened as he caught sight of her. Leaping down from the swing, she heard Sakura open her mouth to protest when Syoaran—undeterred—caught her in an embrace.

Oh, and now he was crying.

Crying like a spoiled little brat who didn't know when he had enough. Crying like he had done absolutely nothing wrong. As if he had been the only one suffering this entire time. It was unmanly. It was pathetic. She herself would never cry like that at the risk of her own pride.

Instead of the tears that should've formed in her eyes, she felt a certain anger take its place inside. Her hands trembled as she got to her legs.

Don't look at another woman like that. You're supposed to be mine.

What a jerk.

Gwen kicked herself furiously for feeling so upset, her heart pounding in her ears as she fled from the park as discreetly as she knew possible. Running like a dog with its tail between its legs. How could men be so fickle? Li—you chose me, the both of us knew what you had said. So why, so quickly—

She pushed past the butler that opened the door to greet her in her mansion, disgusted for living such an obnoxious lifestyle to begin with. If she'd had been given the choice, she'd rather live a humble life than here with that son of a bitch that called himself her father.

Once she reached her room, she slammed the door behind her as she savagely ripped down all of Syoaran's childhood photographs with her from her wall. Did Sakura really think that she was the one? No, it wasn't Sakura's doing. It was Syoran's indecisiveness that triggered this.

If I were to kiss him, right now, he would kiss me back hands down with just as much passion and fervor. Gwen flinched at the thought. She knew Syoaran's mind like the back of her hand. Didn't he feel any guilt for what he had done to and with me?

Meiling, too.

They'd been friends for almost two decades now, and she'd easily betrayed her for Kinomoto—so effortlessly struck her to Sakura's defense. It wasn't fair. Was she that much better than her?

Her looks were average. Maybe even cute. She had quite a number of friends, but Gwen wouldn't consider her to be popular. Her brains and physique were exceptional, she'd give her that, but financially she had nothing compared to Gwen.

Were they that different? Did their differences make Gwen that much more inferior?

"No." This time, rage took over her body. "No. She must have flaws somewhere. But I won't let her take Syoaran. He matters too much."

And I know that somewhere in his heart he feels the same way.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Normally she didn't philosophize or try to understand any sort of psychological explanation, but this time she was interested to a fault. Regret was unmistakably embossed in those chestnut brown eyes, and looked at her so intently that Sakura doubted she could even string a single coherent sentence together. Shaking her head, she figured out that most of her words would appear monosyllabic.

Suddenly, she froze up and tried to mentally kick herself. What was she thinking about, caring so much? After all the grief this boy had caused her, how could she forgive him?

But she was in Syoaran's arms. And she loved him. And she'd won.

Sakura wrapped her arms around him and felt, for the first time in many days, happy again.

How could I not?

For the first time since we were considered a couple, I saw Syoaran Li cry. And I take things back, when I said that Syoaran couldn't be trusted- I was wrong.

He's loved me all along. I've won the battle with Gwen. Is this the end of this traumatic experience? I believe in him. Seeing him cry like that, embracing me- that's something Gwen can never take from us.

Don't get me wrong. I don't find seeing my boyfriend weeping all over me as sweet, but he did so because he missed me. He was afraid of losing me. Sorry to act all sappy, but I couldn't stay mad at him. Angry emotions just didn't exist then. I thought that I would try my best to stay absolutely independent, but I just couldn't.

He told me he loved me, not Gwen. Not that he ever thought he was going to actually go back with Gwen... right? Not that he thought me of just an option between two people- right? He didn't think I was just someone lovesick over him which he could choose over another lovesick lunatic...

...Right?

.-.-.-.-.-.-

Touya nearly died of shock when the doorbell rang and he went to open it.

"Kaho!"

Right. His teacher, once upon a time. She substituted for quite a bit in his high school years.

… Okay, so she meant more to him than that.

She was his ex-girlfriend.

Interesting, because their break-up had never been distinctly classified as such. All he knew was, the same sophisticated, beautiful professor he met during University was standing right on his doorstep. For reasons still unknown to him.

"My, don't look too happy to see me." Kaho allowed a small smile while her eyes shone in that way that always got him. That "maybe-I'm-thinking-of-us-but-you-just-might-be-im agining-it" way. "Am I that scary to see?"

Touya wanted to say something about that, when he snapped his mouth shut. The two of them were over, and she hadn't come here for him. "What can I do for you?" He asked professionally. He shuffled aside to make room for her as she entered.

"I should have called in advance, but I was hoping to speak to Ms. Kinomoto. Let me guess, she's tied up right now?"

"Uh—yeah." Touya retained his usual self in a matter of… minutes and invited her into the living room. "Er, want tea?"

"Yes, please." Kaho said simply, "If it's not too much trouble. I have something… interesting to tell you hoping that you'll pass this on to your sister. Eriol couldn't make it here from England, so he requested me come in his stead."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Gwen…! What happened?" Doctor Lee Mu exclaimed when his daughter came down into the dining room to eat their dinner. "Who did that to you? You look hideous."

Gwen looked up with a pout. Her eyes flickered with tantrum warnings in them, and she looked away indignantly. "It's nothing."

Lee watched in utter disbelief as Gwen sat down in her usual seat, and began analyzing her meal. For year she had acted like his worrying was a pain in the behind, and now he was supremely sick of it. As a father, it was his duty to worry. She was his responsibility.

"Giushaokaisaaru!" He practically bellowed, his voice towering over those of the chefs chattering in the kitchen, and speaking as they quickly brought out the dishes as fast as possible. Generous as he might be with the pays of his staff, he was very short-tempered when he had to be.

As a reaction to her father's drunken yell, Gwen's hands shot up to her ears. "Ow!"

Glaring at his daughter, shock not written at all over his aging features, Lee crossed his arm over his chest. "Gwen, this is getting too far. You do not waltz into this house, with a bruise the size of your dead mother's ass and tell me that nothing is wrong."

Gwen sat very still, looking away immediately, a wave of pure fury flushed over her face. "I just remembered," she said abruptly, getting up. "I have some plans tonight. And they do not involve being in this house." Turning from the table, she ignored the death looks her father was shooting her, and fled to her room.

He could stay in this mansion with his tequila or vodka or whatever.

She was not.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Syoaran stood up, and punched himself in the jaw. For the fifteenth time since he got up, he again collapsed onto his bed, his mind swirling with thoughts. Finally, he came up with the solution that had always been there. I'm not dreaming. Sakura forgave me. She forgave me. Is she an angel?

Sakura knew of Gwen's potential plans. If she did something to try and tear them apart, Sakura was aware of what could be coming. Gwen couldn't do anything to harm their relationship anymore.

"Let's just hope I'm right," he grumbled, rubbing his cheek gingerly. Suddenly, he felt the urge to punch himself again but decided against it.

"Syoaran!" Meiling called from the door. "You've been locked in there for ages. Come on out."

Pouting, Soaran opened the door and gazed out lazily. "Hey. Meiling."

"Oh God!" Meiling's eyes bugged out of her head. "What's up with your face? Um—I mean, your cheek… it's like a peach. Are you okay?"

"I hit myself." Syoaran said plainly. "… A lot."

"You have a self-abusing personality," Meiling sighed, rolling her eyes. "Well, whatever. What happened today to induce your masochistic pleasures?"

Oh yeah. I never told Meiling, thought Syoaran groggily.

"It's… a long story." Grumbled Syoran. "Really."

"I've got time. And judging by the looks of your jaw, you could definitely use some company."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-..-.-.-

That was it.

Touya practically died of shock.

"So—you're telling me—" Touya said, his eye twitching, "That… a girl… MuWenGiu, is… a manipulator?"

"Don't make it sound right out of a movie, Touya. I'm saying that she's incredibly persuasive, and is capable of a great deal of magic. Currently there's been no trouble, so Eriol and Council are under the impression that she is not aware of it, but if she finds out about her powers and releases them—it'd be trouble."

"Okay. So what kind of magic is it? Talisman, like the brat?"

"Worse. She has the powers of the reversed Clow. When Clow created his original deck, his younger brother was rumored to have tried to copy its design—but it backfired. They turned out Dark, repelling, and destructive. Essentially, they are the opposite of the Sakura Cards."

"And what does this mean?"

"That if Gwen is a more powerful captor than Sakura, then she just might bring about the apocalypse and destroy us all." At Touya's expression, she burst out in smiles. "I'm just joking. I'm not sure what the worst case scenario is. Let's just hope it doesn't get to that."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Okay, she was upset.

Practically tearing her room apart, Gwen shoved as many of her personal effects into her schoolbag. Who did that son of a whore think he was, insulting the woman he had raped and whose life he ruined? She felt a shiver go up and down her back, just as it had when she had first found out that the insensitive dickwad of a doctor was her father.

Her mother had married him because she had a family name to uphold after being impregnated. As the father, he was obligated to concede. He may be her father, but he would never be considered her family.

Opening the bedroom door, she peeked around the corner. Quiet. No sign of her father whatsoever. Which meant he was probably back down at the bar, downing glass after glass of God-knows-what. Even if he did catch her leaving, he probably couldn't care less. In theory, she should be able to leave the house with no difficulty.

Unless-

"Gwen?" A voice asked steadily behind her. "What's this? You're leaving again?"

Of course, the difficulty arose in the form of her metaphorical pillar of strength: Gwen looked to the side to find her half-brother Ashen carrying a box of something up the stairs to his room. Setting it down, he made his way across the floor until he could see into the chaos that had become of her room.

"What do you think?" She asked as she double checked to make sure her bare necessities were in place. "You know I can't stand that man. How could you live with a monster like him in my mother's house?"

Kei went up behind her and massaged her shoulders gently. "Probably because he never hated my mother or raped her. Plus he leaves me alone." His hands leaving her shoulders, they circled her waist in a brotherly hug. "Not to mention he never tried to sexually assault me when I was, what, ten?"

Suddenly his touch reminded her of the rough hands of the "talented Doctor Lee" that night. His breath on her neck was like the blade of a knife sliding down her flesh. Flinching, she quickly wrestled free until she bumped into her doorframe, visibly trembling.

Blood stained her bed sheets that night. Blood stained the bathroom tiles the night after. Her humiliation drove her to take a razor to her wrist. There was no other way to make her clean.

No matter how hard she scrubbed or cried, she was a dirty, filthy, ugly whore.

Truly, if it hadn't bee for Ryokei that time, not only would she have been dead, but she would have been driven insane.

"If you're leaving, so am I. You're in Tokyo, now. I've got to take care of you here."

She loved this boy.

He was all she had.