Two Months Passed Heart Ache

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans

Just a girl,

Not a Woman.

Hardly called

A lady.

Because Ladies don't cry

Over little boys

And the games they play

With their hearts.

Not even sure

She exists anymore,

Her mind's so far away,

Lost with her broken spirit.

Bring her back,

Make a promise,

Call her by her name.

Make her real again,

And give her back her heart.

She supposed it was inevitable, and yet it still smarted painfully. She would have been a fool to think that some one like Robin could have stayed single forever. Even more foolish would it have been to think Robin had never had a relationship before. And yet… she had assumed both. Watching them now, from her perch atop the tower's roof, a sickening weight dropped in her gut for the thirty second time that hour. Yes, she had been counting. It was not like she had anything better to do.

It had been two months and she still could not banish the hurt. She wanted to do so very desperately, but found nothing within herself but biting cold. Maybe it was because Robin's new significant other, if it was to be put that way, was living two doors down from her and was providing a never-ending reminder to what she had lost. Sure, Batgirl… Babs… whatever… made a wonderful addition to the team, but Starfire couldn't help but feel sorely replaced.

Two months had done so much to change her life. For Star, she had found two months a painfully long time to reflect and realize what she really wanted… and could not have. Robin wasn't helping matters much, either. For these two long months, there had been nary a battle from which Starfire could leave without some comment. Hey, Starfire, next time try to keep up with Babs. Or, Starfire… you really should watch how Babs deflects an attack like that, she's really good.

Starfire allowed an indignant little snort to slip. He may as well have told her Babs was smarter, faster, prettier, cooler, stronger, and overall better than her. For the last two months, she hadn't heard a single affectionate 'Star' uttered from his lips. To him, she was just Starfire now. No longer was she playfully Kori or comfortingly Star… just… do better next time Starfire.

He hadn't looked for her when she'd go missing, stealing off to the park for hours. He hadn't just sat and talked with her on the rooftop like they used to. Starfire concluded that Babs had just about taken over everything she treasured. Babs, who never let Starfire slip her disapproving gaze… Babs, who always found something for Robin to do other than give Star a friendly hello. Babs, who was just plain overly-protective and frighteningly possessive.

Starfire watched as the two stood from where they'd been sitting on the rocks by the cerulean bay waters, and head back towards the tower. The alien sighed and hopped ruefully to her feet. They would undoubtedly want some time on the roof together. She would not be welcome if they did. Starfire stretched and headed towards the door. One. Two. Three. The door swung open on cue, and Robin emerged, Batgirl's hand clasped firmly in his own. Right on schedule. Starfire gave them a polite smile.

"I was just leaving," Starfire provided, giving them room to come through. Star made her exit without much more of a comment. Robin stared curiously after her.

"Hey, Kori! Something wrong?" he called after her. Starfire stopped. Just two more stairs and she could turn the corner and be out of sight. But he had called her Kori. Starfire bit her lip and turned slowly.

"No… and my name… is Starfire," she said quietly, grinning sweetly. Robin's brow shot up.

"What?" he asked, a bit taken back.

"My name is Starfire. You do not call me Kori anymore. I am just… Starfire…" she trailed off. "And nothing is the matter," she added, nodding firmly. "Nothing at all. Enjoy yourselves, friends," she called as she finished her decent of the stairs and rounded the corner. Once out of sight, Star rolled her jade eyes. Nothing better to kill an already dying friendship like jealousy! She sighed and plodded into her room. The girl ambled towards her bed, contritely pushing the picture of herself and Robin down so she did not have to see the image.

Starfire flopped onto her round bed and stared blankly at her covers. Well let's see… counting the stitches might be fun. At least it had nothing to do with them. Starfire set to her task.

An hour later she had reached five hundred and forty six. The princess gave an irritated groan and beat her head on the bed. Rolling to lie on her back, she closed her eyes and willed away the sting of tears against her eye-lids.

Don't let them fall,

Those diamond tears,

They'll shatter at your feet.

And you know well,

What happens

When the imprint's washed away.

You're forgotten.

Maybe there's still some one,

Who knows what scars you carry.

And sees the not all wounds,

Drip blood.

And maybe if you wish

Hard enough tonight,

The one that sees your hurting,

Will be the one that started it all.

Starfire inhaled a deep breath and her senses stung with the salty preamble to saline. Wonderful… more tears would definitely solve it all. She gave a bitter grimace and hoisted herself from her bed. As she trudged from her room and towards the kitchen, she wondered if he noticed she didn't fly anymore. She wondered if he noticed, she couldn't fly anymore.

Sure, she'd tried to hide the inadequacy from them all… and she figured she'd done well enough, but still. If it had been as it used to, he would have seen it long ago. Then again, if things had been as it used to, she would still be able to fly. Starfire pulled a bottle of mustard dejectedly from the fridge. She needed to drown her sorrows. Star sent a fleeting glance around, making sure there was no one there to tell her, yet again, the yellow condiment was not a beverage. Satisfied, she squeezed a large blob of the stuff into her mouth and swallowed soundly.

At least the mustard hadn't changed. She sighed. She really didn't like this whole self-pity thing, and yet it was about the only constant in her life as of late. Boisterous noises jarred her silent musings. The usually cheerful extra-terrestrial wrinkled her nose crossly.

"So what if I talk about her! I'm just stating fact," Robin roared. Babs followed him in, waving her arms madly.

"Oh, right! I'm sure it's totally necessary to bring her up in EVERYTHING I do! God, Dick, I swear you just can't SHUT UP!" she retorted. Robin glared at her.

"I don't bring her up in everything you do!" he snapped back. The banter escalated as they stormed into the rec. room. Starfire peeped curiously out of the kitchen, watching with slightly frightened interest.

"Oh. My. God! How can you say that! Everything I do, it's always… she did it that way or she did it differently. And-and does everything we do have to be something she used to like! I mean, SERIOUSLY! I'm not her and she's not me! Can't we do something I like doing for once? Does it have to be something she liked?" Babs raged. Robin clenched his fists.

"No, we could do something you wanted to do… if you'd just TELL ME what you want to do! You never give me any suggestions. All you do is complain afterwards! And OF COURSE you're not her! She's way to good to be anything LIKE you!" he hissed. Starfire winced. Babs stood, her eyes wide and furious.

"How. Dare. You. I'm LEAVING. Bruce was right! You're just a stubborn pain in the…"

"I don't care what Bruce thinks I am. But if you're leaving, get out NOW!" Robin cut her off. Starfire quietly exited the kitchen and scurried down the hall, darting into her room. This was not good. Sure, Star was jealous, but she didn't want them to break up! She didn't want to have to see Robin get hurt anymore than he had been.

Starfire heard heavy footsteps stomping past her room and a door being ripped open. The girl closed her eyes, listening to the banging of drawers as Babs collected her things. More stomping thundered past her door and soon she could hear Batgirl storming out of Titan's Tower. Once again, the tower fell under the reign of silence and Starfire let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

You never wished them pain,

You never wished them sorrow,

But now the deed's been done

And you're ready

To pick up the pieces.

And if in his time of healing,

He sees through your shy mask,

And recognizes the love inside,

Maybe he'll just heal you too.

Star slid down to the floor and stared at the creamy carpet. What next? Did she go to him and tell him she was sorry and that she wanted to help? Or did she wait and see if he came to her? Or did she just pretend nothing was real and slip into her own little world? Starfire crawled out to the center of her floor and lay sprawled on her back. Slipping off to her own little world was sounding quite tempting.

A knock to her door shattered any chances of that escape. "Yes? May I inquire who it is?" Starfire mumbled, knowing quite well who stood at her threshold.

"Me, can I come in?" Robin asked, his voice still carrying traces of simmering indignation.

"Indeed," she replied. Starfire's eyes remained locked with the ceiling as he charged in. "Hello Robin," she said, her voice about as apathetic as she was capable of.

"Hi… look, I'm really sorry about lately. I've just been so caught up with Babs and everything I guess I sort of…" he began rambling, obviously flustered.

"Forgot about me?" she finished, an ironically amused smile playing on her face.

"No. I never forgot about you. I was going to say I think I just sort of neglected our friendship and I'm sorry," he explained slowly. Starfire lifted a brow. So now he cared. She wasn't at all as naïve as she appeared. She still felt hurt, resentment, jealousy, anger…

"Really… I find it interesting this would come up now, right after you two have ended your relationship," Starfire mused.

"We were yelling that loud?" Robin asked, his face pained.

"Yes. But I heard you because I was in the kitchen at the time. I suppose you did not notice," she quipped. "No matter, though. You have been hurt enough for one day. I think it would be frightfully harsh of me to end another friendship," she smiled softly. Robin gave a relieved sigh.

"Thanks, Star," he gave her a lop-sided grin and flopped to the floor beside her. For a while they just lay there, staring intently at the ceiling.

"So I am Star now?" she asked impishly. Robin snorted.

"You've always been Star. You've always been Kori… you always will be. To me at least," he shrugged. Starfire nodded and rolled to her side, facing him.

"You are not sad?" she asked, a tad puzzled. Robin grimaced.

"Sad? Not really… a little hurt I guess. Babs and I used to be really close. I guess things just change… she and I probably should have just left it on the neutral note we did when I left Gotham," he frowned. "Are you ok, though? I haven't been the best friend recently and…"

"I am fine. You had other priorities… it is inevitable we drift apart someday…" she said softly, her voice carrying strong undertones of regret.

"Why is that inevitable?" Robin asked grouchily. He didn't take to this idea well at all.

"It just is… As you said… things change," she sighed.

"But, change can bring people closer together, too. Things change, and we learn. We get hurt, but we realize we've fallen in love," he responded, rolling so he could face her as well.

"Is that so? And whom, may I ask, is it that you have realized to have fallen in love with, Richard Grayson?" Starfire asked, a grin tugging suddenly at her lips.

"I don't know… you tell me," he murmured, pulling her towards him. Starfire arched her brows. Robin smiled softly and brought their lips together gently. Star melted into his embrace, wrapping her arms about his neck while he ran his hands through her hair. They parted, allowing the kiss to linger a moment longer.

"Are you sure you do not need some time to yourself? You two just split ways today…" she breathed. Robin looked at her strangely.

"You're kidding, right? If anything, Batgirl just confirmed the fact I've loved you all along," he gave her a wide grin and pulled her into another kiss.

People change,

You laugh and you cry,

You love and you hurt.

And eventually,

It falls into place,

And you're content to know

The arms holding you now,

Will never let go.

BTW: If you didn't pick up on it, Robin irritated Babs because he kept babbling about Starfire… that's who "she" was in that whole argument thingy. But you probably already knew that. So, yeah.


Author's Note: Ok, like I said... I'm only on semi-hiatus so I'm not breaking the rules of vacationing or anything... lol. Well, I hope you liked this. I felt like writting a little poetry so, whatever. It's not my best but I don't hate it. I would appreciate you reviews dearly!

Love, Princess Starfire of Tamaran