Title: Conversations on a Strange Night
Author: Anglstrmoon
Feedback: It would be nice!
Pairing: Josh/Donna
Spoiler: Post ep for Season 3 episode War Crimes
Rating: Child
A/N: Thanks to Tina for being my Beta.. you're the greatest!
Donna sat at her desk, staring at her computer screen. She really didn't know why she was still there; she knew there wasn't anything getting done. 'I stayed because Josh is here. God, I could care less what happens to me, I just don't like him being mad at me.' Donna was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't notice Josh walk up beside her desk.
"Hey"
Donna jumped a little and turned to face him. She caught a small smile on his face. She guessed that was a good sign. She then noticed that he looked like he was leaving. "Josh, you leaving for the night?"
"No. Come on. Get your coat. We are leaving for a bit."
She looked at him for a minute before getting up, grabbing her jacket and walking around to meet up with him.
The two walked out of the West Wing in silence. Sam saw them leaving. He hoped that whatever was going on between them would be resolved soon.
As soon as they exited the building, Donna turned to Josh, "Where are we going?"
"To your apartment to get your diary. Then we are going to meet up with Cliff. I'm giving him an hour to look at it and to decided if he things it can be used. He will be doing this at a coffee shop across from where we are meeting him." By the time Josh was done talking, they were on their way.
Donna looked at Josh as he drove. "Why?" She asked in a quiet voice.
"Huh?"
"I asked why. Why are you doing this, you hate Cliff. And as far as I know you are pissed at me."
Josh glanced at Donna before answering and found her looking at him. He sighed, "Yes I don't like Cliff or any of the committees that he has been on. But I'm not pissed at you and I never was. I was upset, but that's it. I'm just pissed at the situation as a whole. The campaign, the hearings, Leo bringing in Bruno and his team. It's everything as a whole. I'm not pissed at any one person… Ok, well maybe Bruno, Doug, and Connie…."
That comment earned a smile from Donna.
"Ahh . There is that smile. And here I thought it was lost." By the time he finished his comment they arrived at Donna's apartment.
Josh parked and turned the car off. He waited for Donna to move, but she didn't. He could tell that she was getting nervous. He unlocked the doors, got out and walked over to the passenger door. He opened it for Donna, She got out, waited for Josh to close the door and lock the car. Josh walked up behind her and put his hand on the small of her back to guide her inside.
Once inside, Josh waited in the living room as Donna went into her room. She came out a few minutes later. In her left hand was a small book tied together with string. Donna handed it to Josh then went to leave and Josh followed.
20 minutes later
Josh and Donna were sitting on a bench by the fountain waiting for Cliff. They both sat there, neither one saying a word to each other. Donna's thoughts were on the conversation she just had with Josh concerning the entries that dealt with Cliff.
"Donna, are there an entries dealing with Cliff?"
"Yeah. October 4th and 5th. Why"
"I want you to rip them out. This whole meeting is under the radar. I want something to hold against him if this is reported in any paper."
"Ok" Donna ripped the paged out, folded them, and handed them to Josh. He took them, and put them into his pocket.
Josh got up and walked over to meet Cliff. Donna stayed on the bench. Josh once again explained to Cliff how it was going to happen. He then told him that if any information o this got out, he would release the entries he had.
Josh watched Donna out of the corner of his eye. After he was done talking to Cliff, he went and sat back down. He put his right arm on the bench behind her. "Everything is going to be fine."
The pair sat in silence for 15 minutes. Donna noticed that there weren't many people out. "Josh, do you want to know what's in the diary?"
Josh moved his hand to her shoulder and started tracing small circles on it with him thumb. "I don't need to know, but if you want to tell me."
Donna turned her body towards Josh slightly so his hand was now on her back. "I wrote about when I first started working for you. When we won the election. The excitement of working in White House. My fears of not being able to do what you needed…" by this time, Donna's eyes started to become moist with tears.
When Josh heard the last statement, he knew he had to reassure her that she was wrong. "Donna," his hands gently playing with her hair. "That is far from the truth. I had and still do have all the faith in you that you will do everything right. I know you will. Not only do I think so, but you know that CJ, Sam, Toby, Leo, the President; they all believe in you.
Donna smiled at his words and continued, "I wrote about all the dates I had. How none of the guys seemed interesting. The real last thing I wrote about was your shooting and the PTSD." Donna found that she couldn't hold it back anymore. The tears just started coming.
Josh isn't one who knows how to comfort a woman when she is crying. But with Donna, he just gathered her in his arms and he held her while she cried. It was then when Josh realized that they never talked about the shooting of the PSTD. He decided that he was going to change that.
20 minutes later, Cliff found them on the bench, Josh still holding Donna in his arms. Cliff cleared his throat to get their attention. Donna extracted herself from Josh and Josh stood up to talk to Cliff.
"Here. There isn't anything in there that can be used." Cliff handed Josh the diary back. He then turned to Donna. "But Donna, next time, don't lie." With that he walked away.
They both watched his retreating figure. After he was out of sight, Josh turned and offered her his right hand. She took it and let him help her off of the bench and didn't let go of it until they got to the car.
Josh just drove them back to his apartment. He knew that the conversation he wanted to have was going to be hard on both of them, and he figured it would be better not to have it at Donna's apartment with her roommate around.
It was when she noticed that they were at his place, she spoke. "Josh, what are we doing here?" She asked as she turned her head to see him.
"Donna," Josh took her hands in his, "I know that we have been avoiding talking about everything. And I know that we have to. I also know that it is going to be hard on both of us, so I figured it would be best to come here. So, lets go inside."
Josh unlocked the door and allowed Donna to go in first. She stood but the door and waited for him. Josh hung his jacket up, and then helped Donna with hers.
"Go sit in the living room. I'll be in with some tea."
"Ok." Josh watched her go and sit down on the couch. Then he turned to go into the kitchen.
Josh busied himself the next few minutes, making the tea. After he was finished, he took the cups into the living room, handed a cup to Donna, and then sat on the opposite end of the couch.
The pair sat there in silence. Each one lost in their own thoughts. The silence was starting to strangle Donna. "So, Josh. What do you want to talk about?"
Josh glanced at Donna, put his cup down on the table, and then turned his body so his back was against the side of the couch. "Tell me about that night, Donna. How did you hear about it? How did you react?"
Donna sat her cup down also and just looked as her hands as she talked. "I got a call from Margaret. She was still at the White House waiting for Leo. She called and told me there was a shooting and that the president was taken to GW and the senior staff followed. So I went there thinking you would need help. I got there and secret service ushered me into the room that was set up as the waiting room. I didn't see you so I asked where you were. Toby told me that you were hit, and I asked with what. WITH WHAT. What kind of question is that?" By this time, Donna was up and pacing around the room. Josh could tell that she was about to start crying again. "When he told me, it was like my whole world collapsed. I managed to sit down before my legs gave out." Donna stopped the pacing and was not standing in front of window, tears running down the face.
Josh walked up behind her, unsure at first of what to do. He wrapped his arms around her waist, lightly at first. When she leaned against him, he pulled her closer to his body. They just stood there for a few minutes.
After a few minutes, Donna finally calmed down enough to finish. "None of the senior staff were able to stay with me. Mrs. Landingham sat with me through most of it. Hell, after the President got out of surgery and was up and talking, Mrs. Bartlet sat with me. She got me in to see them operating on you." At this time, Donna turned herself around while staying in Josh's arms.
"Oh Donna. Why did you do that? That is something I don't wish on anyone."
"I needed to Josh. I needed to see for myself that you were still alive and that there was a fighting chance that you going to be fine. God Josh, I don't know what I would've done if you died that night."
Josh pulled her to him so her head was resting on his shoulder. Donna wrapped her arms around him. Josh started whispering in her ear. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that sweetheart. God, I promise, that I'll do everything in my power to stop you from going through that again."
They both stood there for about 5 minutes. Josh then moved them to the couch. After awhile, Donna finally spoke as she moved herself away from Josh, but still stayed in his embrace. "What about you?"
"When I first hear the shots, my thought was, thank god that Donna isn't here. I remember getting shot and falling to the ground. I seem to recall that Toby was the one that found me. After that and until I woke up after surgery, I don't remember. I remember during it all that I kept having flashbacks about the first campaign. I also remember that Leo and the President were the first two people that I saw when I woke up and I asked 'What's next?'"
At this Donna let out a little giggle. "Why did you ask that?"
"I don't know. But the next thing I said was Donna." Josh watched her face carefully for a reaction. He was just hoping that he did the right think by telling her.
Donna was shocked. She thought that the reason why she saw him after Leo and the President was because she was over reacting and they wanted her gone. "You asked to see me?" Tears were starting to blur her vision once more.
"Of course. I knew that the others were more than likely back at the White House. When I asked for you, Leo shook his head and left to get you. The President stayed and he had this smile on his face. He told me, 'Now son, My wife tells me she's been her since the start of your surgery and she probably still looks better that you. It is my understanding that me wife was threatening to sedate her.' At that time, Leo came in with you behind. Is it true? They wanted to sedate you?"
"Yeah. I refused to leave until I saw you. So since you came out right after this talk, I promised that I would leave for awhile after I saw you. So after I saw you, I left for a few hours. I tried to sleep, but I kept having nightmares. So I ended up going into the office to situate everything. Well, I think Leo had security notify him if and/or when I came in. I went to your office, closed the door for some privacy, and started the task of canceling and rescheduling everything. I wasn't even in there for 10 minutes when Leo came in. He told me in a nice fatherly tone to leave and go see you. He knew that my mind was somewhere else than with the work. He told me not to go back for two weeks."
"That's why you were with me almost all the time and you didn't know what was going at work."
"Yeah. So when you went home, I went back to work."
"Ok" Josh pulled Donna to him again. This time no one was crying. It was something that they both felt that they needed.
After 10 minutes, Josh noticed that Donna's breathing pattern changed. He carefully got off the couch with Donna still in his arms. He carried her into his bedroom and put her to bed. He walked over and climbed in the other side. Donna was lying on her side, facing away from him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her body to his. Her form molded to his.
"I love you, Josh." She said faintly before falling into a deep sleep.
He smiled at her words and answered. "I love you too." Then he followed her into sleep.
