« Of course I love you Spike ! Not that I am in love with you...you know, I mean I love you like I love my sister, you are family to me ! »
Spike was speechless for the first time in the last century. Dawn really love him, he had always known that she liked him, sure, but that she considered him as a member of her family, he wouldn't have thought that possible.
« You are sure ? Because if not it's ok, you know... » his voice caught in his throat with row emotion. His gaze fixed on hers, his blue eyes searching hers to know if she meant it.
« Spike ! You are like a big brother for me, you have endured torture for me, you have put up with my adolescent crap all the time, you are allways here for me, so yes ! I am sure, you are my family ! » she said with all her heart.
A few tears escaped from hiseyes and he hold her as if she was going to disappear. His hand caressing her long brown hair.
« Thank you Nibblet, you don't know how much it means to me... » he whispered in her ear.
« I think I know, Buffy has accepted me even if I was not really her sister, so I know what you feel ! »
He disantangled himself from her embrace, and smiled to her, taking a strand of her hair and putting it back behind her ear. She smiled back at him and wiped the tears staining his cheeks with the back of her hand.
« Why did you come here in the first place, Nibblet ? »
« Well, tomorrow is the day of the funeral and I wanted to know if you would be here... »
« Oh ! Well, I suppose that everybody will be here and with the sun and all... »
« No ! I insisted for it to takes place at dusk, so you can come ! »
« It's sweet, luv... but I don't think I can, the great poof will be here and the watcher and I don't think they will be as understanding as you...to see me here. »
« But it's not fair ! I want you to be here...they have no right to keep you away ! »
« Nibblet ! Calm down ! I promise I will be here, for you, for her but I will attend it in a distance okay ? »
« No ! it's not okay, it's unfair ! »
« Dawn, if I come Angel will ask questions about why I am here and I don't want her funeral to become a circus ! Anyway, I don't have the right to be here, I failed to protect you and because of me she is...so I don't deserve to be here. »
« You have nothing to do with the fact that she died, it was her choice, I wanted to jump but she did it in place of me, it was me who was supposed to close the portal, but she didn't want to let me do it ! »
« If I had been faster and cleaverer, Doc wouldn't have cut you and nobody would have had to die at all, Dawn ! It's my fault ! I promised to your sister I would protect you and I failed; like always ! »
« Great ! Have you ever thought that if I hadn't be made alive by the monks Buffy wouln't have to die to save me ! It was my responsibility to close it, it's me that doesn't really exist, so it's normal that I return as a green ball somewhere in the space ! I'm not human ! »
« Don't say that ! You are human Dawn ! »
« I will stop to say that if you stop to think it's your fault that she is dead ! » she said, crossing her arms.
« Ok ! It's a deal ! » he answered with a small smile.
« Your leg is it better ? »
He tried to stand up but failed. « No, it needs to be straighten before it can heal, could you help me ? »
« Of course, what can I do ? »
« You put your hands here, yeah like that ! you must turn it on the left and pull at the same time when I tell you, you ready ? »
She nodded.
He brassed himself against the pain and said through clenched teeth « Now ! ».
She did as he had ask and the sound of bones cracking reverbed in the crypt. He let out a grunt of pain and closed his eyes, waiting for the pain to subside.
« Is it OK ? »
« Yes, now I need more blood, could you warm some for me ? »
« No problem, I'll be right back, drink that mug, sorry it must be cold now... »
He took it and drank it with a grimace.
She returned with another mug and he drank it greedily. « thanks ! Can you help me walk to the ladder ? I want to lie down on the sarcophagus. »
She put an arm around his waist and he took care not to stand on his injured leg.
« How are you going to climb ? »
« you go first, I will jump each step on one leg but I need you for the last step. »
« Ok ! »
They finally made it, and Dawn was relieved to see him in a better mood.
She helped him to undress his coat and shirt, and brought him a wet clothe to wash the dirt and blood staining his face and torso. She brought him a blanket and a pillow too.
« Now you are going to sleep, and I want you to stop thinking at anything bad, ok ? »
« No need to worry Nibblet, I will be fine. » he mumbled.
« Now that I have your attention, I can tell you the other reason I came here today ! »
He frowned and looked at her questionningly.
« So it's like that, before Buffy...well you know...she gave me a message for you, so I quote « tell Spike that he is a good man and that I thank him for being here for you and me. Tell him that I hope he will go on and be good. » and she said that I have to take care of you, and keep you away from troubles. » she said, smiling.
« She...she really said that ? » he said after a long minute of silence.
« Yes Spike ! She really said that, I wouldn't lie to you knowing what you feel for her ! »
He nodded absentmindely, lost in his own thoughts.
« I need to go now, Tara will be worried if I don't come back before dusk, you all right now ? »
« I'm good Pet, see you tomorrow after the ceremony, ok ? »
« Ok ! Good night ! » she said before closing the door.
He tried to stay awake to think more about Buffy's last comment, but he was too tired and soon drifted into a deep slumber.
