Disclaimer: I don't own the HP characters, but all the others that may be unfamiliar to you are the fruit of my imagination. Can we say that?

Chapter one

*8*8*8*Dudley's Diary*8*8*8*

July 30

This has to be secretly secret. Piers or anybody can find out about this diary. I feel like a fool just writing all this. But whatever. I have to tell somebody. And that somebody isn't mom, dad even less, and NEVER IN THE WORLD that Potter.

The truth is…I'm afraid I'm in love. But not with anybody. Hermione Granger. It's stupid. She'll never like me. I'm too fat. I'd have to be like Harry, nice and skinny. I envy him. I think I owe everyone, well you, my diary, an explanation.

Dad decided to switch selling dental drills, because the other drills just weren't selling. They were too expensive, apparently. Oh well.

So Mr. And Mrs. Granger were invited to dinner to discuss the price and the kinds, etc., and they brought Hermione. Of course I didn't know she was Harry's best friend, and she was so beautiful in that lilac dress, I couldn't help myself blushing. But she only said: Oh, you must be Dudley. That made me blush even more because I'm sure Harry talked about me…not in a nice way. At least Mrs. Granger had some sense to tell them to discuss with them. Harry and Hermione didn't talk to me, though. Big news.

Tomorrow is Harry's birthday. I decided that for once, I wouldn't forget it. But I'm not being friendly. I just want to know more about Hermione.

July 31

Finally, I didn't give Harry anything for his birthday, but I made a middle-of-year resolution: by next year, Harry won't be in Hermione's picture anymore. Muahaha I'm going on a diet. And I'm going to jog an hour every morning. I'm going to be the most handsome boy on Privet Drive.

I already smell victory.

Ok that was my first fic, hope you liked it, and even if you didn't, REVIEW please it would be appreciated. And if you want me to update under Hermione and Harry's point of view, then let me know and I'll do that!! Talk to you soon, faithful readers! ~Geneveva  P.-S. this is too short. I'll have to doing something about that…