A/N: So, yeah, this is it. On with the secular festivities! Sorry for the delay, folks. I had to get a new motherboard for my laptop and my charger wasn't working and then Fanfiction wasn't working and all that fun stuff.
Hawkeye slowly walked to Margaret's tent. He had no idea what she was going to say to him about Sidney coming. He knew that's not what she wanted; but she needed to get help. He knocked on her door; wandering if she was asleep. She wasn't. Margaret was crying and lying down on the bed. She heard the knock on the door, wiped her tears from her face, and answered the door.
"Margaret, I'm sorry to bother you again, but I have to talk to you. Can I come in?"
"Sure, Captain."
Hawkeye walked in the door and saw even more tissues on her bed than before.
"What is it?"
"Frank called Sidney. He's coming tomorrow morning."
"What? Why did he do that! He knows I don't want to see anyone."
"Margaret, he cares…we care for you, and seeing Sidney might help you."
"Yeah right. He'll take one look at me and throw me in a hospital. I know he will. I was in one a few years ago. It was awful. Being there didn't make any difference."
"Yeah, speaking of that, Frank told me you've been doing this for a long time."
"Since I was fourteen. Between moving all of the time because of my father, not being able to stay in one school and not having any friends got to me. It's just the way I deal with pain."
"It's not healthy. You're hurting your body."
"Like you don't hurt yours with that booze you drink all the time?"
"That's different."
"No it's not; it's exactly the same. Your drinking is no different from my cutting. They're just different ways of releasing pain. You don't have to see Sidney so why should I?"
"He can help you get through this. Please, just see him tomorrow. You never know, it might help you. Margaret, I don't want anything to happen to you. This might get more serious if you don't stop it now. Please, just think about it. Frank and I will be there with you."
"What time is he coming?"
"Ten tomorrow morning."
"I'll think about it."
"Okay. You're going to be alright, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
"Okay. Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow."
Hawkeye stared at Margaret for a few moments. He could see she really was in a lot of pain. He gave her a hug and went back to the Swamp. He wasn't sure if Margaret was going to show. If he was in her shoes he would feel the same way. Hawkeye walked in the Swamp to find Trapper drinking a Martini.
"Well?"
"Frank made a call to Sidney. He's coming tomorrow morning."
"What did Margaret say?"
"She thinks there's no point. I tried to convince her as much as I could. I don't know if she's going to come."
"I don't blame her. This place gets to everyone."
"Trapper, she's been doing this since she was fourteen."
"And she's never gotten help?"
"She was in the hospital several years ago; and it didn't help her. I just hope talking to Sidney will do some good."
"He's a very caring man. He'll understand where Margaret is coming from. I'm sure she'll be okay."
Hawkeye lay down in his bed and tried to get some rest….
Ten in the morning came soon enough. Hawkeye asked Radar to keep Colonel Blake away from his office for a while. Sidney had arrived and was making his way to the Colonel's office. When he got there he saw a distraught Hawkeye; but no Margaret.
"Good morning, Captain."
"Morning, Sidney."
"Where's Major Houlihan?"
"I don't know. She might not even show up. I told her last night that you were coming and she got upset, so she…"
Before Hawkeye could finish his sentence, Margaret walked through the door. Her face was red and she had tears in her eyes.
"Margaret?"
"Good morning, Major. How are you feeling?"
"I'm…" she took a deep breath "fine, Dr. Freedman. I...thought I'd give this a try."
"Good, I'm glad. Where would you like to talk?"
"It doesn't matter. Just so no one's around."
Hawkeye stood up from the Colonel's seat.
"Well I guess I'll be going…"
"Hawkeye, wait. I want you to be here. Sidney, can he stay?"
"Sure, Major. Why don't we sit down and…?"
"Wait, we'd better go in Margaret's tent. You never know when Colonel Blake and Radar will pop up."
"Alright, then. Let's go."
Hawkeye, Margaret and Sidney walked to Margaret's tent. Hawkeye didn't know how it would go. He only wanted Margaret to get better. When they entered her tent, Margaret quickly removed the many tissues off her bed and put them in her waste basket. She sat down and Hawkeye sat next to her; trying to make her a little at ease.
"Now Margaret, first tell me why we need to have this discussion."
"I'm…I'm…cutting myself."
"When did this start?"
"A week ago."
"How many times have you cut yourself in the past week?"
"Five."
"When was the last…"
"Wait a minute," Hawkeye quickly broke in to the conversation "I only saw four cuts on your arm."
"I did it after you left last night."
Hawkeye looked at Margaret, then at the floor to keep himself from crying.
"Margaret you said the last time you cut yourself was last night?"
"Yes. Hawkeye came in and said that you were coming. I got mad because I didn't want anyone else to know and I…"
"I see. Margaret, what do you cut yourself with?"
"A razor blade."
"Where do you cut yourself?"
"On my arms."
"May I please see them?"
Margaret looked down at her arm, then at Sidney, then at Hawkeye. She was afraid of what they would do. She rolled up her sleeve and exposed the light red marks on her arm. Hawkeye started to feel sick. He wanted to scream at Margaret and tell her what she's doing is wrong. He wanted to put some sense into her head. But instead he held it in.
"Okay, Margaret. You can put your sleeve down. Now tell me, is this the first time you ever cut yourself?"
"No. I've been doing it off and on since I was fourteen."
"Have you ever gotten help?"
"I was in the hospital a few years ago."
"Did that help at all?"
"No."
"I see. Have you ever been on medication or been to therapy?"
"No. I didn't think I needed to."
"Do you still feel that way?"
"I don't know. Sometimes I'm scared and I don't know what's going to happen to me. Other times I feel like I can handle it."
"Do you feel like you have no future ahead of you?"
"Sometimes…yes."
"Margaret you know this is not a positive way to release pain and anger. There are many other things that you can do. You can throw things, yell at people…"
"That's the problem. I end up taking my anger out on my nurses. They hate me for it and never show me respect. I don't want to hurt anyone so I take it out on myself."
Margaret burst into tears. Sidney looked over to Hawkeye; who was also starting to cry.
"Captain, can I talk to you outside?"
"Sure. Margaret, will you be okay?"
Margaret looked at Hawkeye, then buried her face in her hands.
"I know what he's going to do."
"He's not going to put you in a hospital. I'll make sure of that."
Hawkeye kissed her head; then walked out the door.
"So what do you think, Sidney?"
"There's no doubt that she needs help. I have an idea…"
"Sidney, she doesn't want to be locked up. I don't think it's a good idea, either."
"Don't worry. I'm not going to put her in a hospital. I want her to stay here so she can continue working. But I also want her to be kept under observation. I was thinking you and Trapper could watch over her without it being too obvious."
"Isn't that the same thing as locking her up?"
"Not exactly. Putting her in a hospital in Tokyo where she's unfamiliar with her surroundings is one thing. Keeping her here in her own environment with people she knows is much more affective. I think we should give it a try. At least here she'll see that people are supporting her. What do you think?"
"All I want is for Margaret to get better. Whatever you think is best I'll go along with it."
"Alright. Is Colonel Blake in? I want to ask him about this idea."
"I'm not sure; but I'll have to come with you. He doesn't know yet."
"He doesn't?"
"No. Only Frank, Trapper and myself know."
"That reminds me, where is Major Burns?"
"I don't know. He was supposed to come but as you can see he didn't."
"Hmm. Alright, why don't we check on Margaret and then talk to Colonel Blake."
As Sidney and Hawkeye went back into the room, they saw Margaret lying down at her bed.
"Margaret, we've come up with an idea. I'm not going to put you in a hospital. Instead I want you to stay here. We're on our way to talk to Colonel Blake. I wanted to ask you if there is anything else you wanted to talk to me about."
"No. I'm alright now."
"Are you sure? I can stay as long as you want me to."
"I'm sure."
"Would you like to do this again?"
"Can I think about it?"
"Sure. I'll call you in a few days to see how you're doing. Take care, Margaret."
Sidney gave Margaret an encouraging smile and walked out.
"Are you going to put her on any medication, Sidney?"
"I don't know yet. I'd like to see what happens in the next few days."
And with that, Hawkeye and Sidney headed for Colonel Blake's office.
A/N: Sorry if this chapter is kind of boring. I assure you it gets better. Please review!
