Chapter 15.
"Do you suppose Wendy might get better?" I questioned mother later that evening, as I ate supper with her, in order to allow Jeanette and Nicholas the time all newly married couples needed alone. "That perhaps she shall not die?"
"I wish I could say Wendy might, my child, but I know that that is very unlikely." Mother stopped her eating, her warm smile seeming like the only source of illumination to lighten up the darkening atmosphere.
"If only I could completely believe this is all for the best," I sighed. "I would very much like to understand the divine plan of all this suffering and anguish, but I can only come up with explanations that I half belief and pray I find enough contentment in that."
"You must try to understand and trust that whatever happens is for the best interests of all."
"I do try so hard," I reassured. "I just know I am going to miss her so much. I miss her even now. You must be dreadfully disappointed in me for being so selfish."
"Never." Mother answered confidently. "Every being under the sun makes mistakes in their life. It is a matter of existence in this world."
"I hope someday I can be like you, Mother."
"I love you just as you are, my child."
"Although I cannot grasp why. It seems I get worse each day. I'm not even that interesting anymore. Just some boring, dull, humdrum girl."
"You are growing up just fine.
"I only want to make you proud."
"And you have. What a lovely young lady you are growing up to be," Mother smiled and reached for my hand. "Only last year it might have taken an entire army to have you so dressed up, looking as if you had stepped straight out of heaven. Not so long ago Jeanette was at her end trying to turn you into a lady, and now you have grown into a very respectable young woman. I am fortunate to be blessed with two wonderful daughters that have grown up perfectly."
"And Matthew?" I returned her smile, relishing the savory confection of her words directed my way, and now desiring to hear her praise towards my brother.
"He is courting a friend of the Darling's, and I could not be happier." Mother took in a deep breath. "Soon he, too, shall be wed with children of his own. And perhaps, even sooner, you shall find someone up to your standards."
"I do not have any standards."
"I believe there is something my daughter is looking for," Mother looked at me to see if I would break. "You need not tell me of the matter, but I know. Every girl is looking for a certain someone in their life, and I believe you are waiting for that lad to come along. And how blissful your mother will be once I will be able to see all of my children married and living a superlative life in a house full of love."
I have already found him, I thought. And he turned me away.
"But Wendy shall never go through such a life."
"No, she shall not." Mother's voice was solemn, and unflinching.
"Why can she not though?" I asked. "What did she do to deserve such a life? Such an end?"
"The Lord works in mysterious ways that none of us can understand." Mother got up and hugged me. "Sometimes we shall come to face instances where none of us will be able to comprehend the enigmatic ways of life and why certain things must occur. I wish I could shelter my children from such sorrow and trepidation and pain, but I do believe that being exposed to this shall, in the end, benefit you. For it gives us all more of an opportunity to bless our health and realize how precious life truly is. And is that not what every mother wants, but to see her children grow up treasuring every moment of their life?"
"I just need to get Teddy, and I shall be fine." Peter reassured me, as we walked through the woods, illuminated only by the few rays of sunshine that could escape the thick leaves above us.
"Are you sure you will be fine going back to Neverland?" I asked, my fear he would leave me for his Neverland still not fully extinguished.
"I once said I never planned to go somewhere that I wasn't sure I would come back from," Peter looked at me seriously. "I wouldn't go if I was not completely confident I would not come back to you, Annie."
"How do you think Tink will react?"
"I suppose she might be a bit ruffled that I'm leaving," Peter's eyes glistened with the mischief I knew and loved. "But she will be more happy that Peter Pan has finally gathered enough courage to go and grow up."
"You suppose so?" I grinned, picturing the jealous fairy accepting that Peter was leaving her and Neverland behind. "Don't you think she might get lonely with just the Lost Boys?"
"Aww… well, who says she shall be alone for long?" Peter inquired. "Do you not think we will ever have kids to keep her company, Annie?"
"Children?" I blushed at the thought. "Why… I…"
"Ah, come now, my little ingénue." Peter put my face between his hands and kissed me. "It is not as if we are going to be having children very soon, but when the time comes, might we give them the opportunity to have the same adventures as us? It shan't be fair, you know, to deny our kids the same fun. And it would be just like you girls to go and ruin the fun for everyone else."
"Just like you to say that. Of course I would let them have adventures like us... just... perhaps not exactly the same adventures," I joked. "But I would not mind them having a few adventures of their own to share with their own children."
"You cannot even picture us having children, yet you can picture our children having theirs?" Peter laughed. "I know not how both of us shall last as grown-ups, Annie, for I think we do a perfect job of being children to the end of our days. At this rate, our children will grow up before us both."
"We could spend hours talking of such matters, Peter, but you must go back now." I reminded him. "It is soon to be dark, and you already know how completely dreadfully afraid I am of the dark. The little bit of light in here is the only thing keeping me from allowing my fears to claim the best of me."
"I know you are stronger than that, even if you are a girl." Peter gave my hand a squeeze. "You know how to get back from here, right?"
"No one ever forgets their way home," I smiled. "I will be fine, I promise. Will you be able to find Neverland before I start to worry?"
"I suppose so," Peter said hesitantly at first but soon grew confidence at my smiling gaze. "But like a wise person once told me... you never forget your way home."
"Peter…" I trailed off when he entered the house with a downcast look to his face, that was stained with recently dried tears. "Whatever had you in such a manner?"
"I suspected it from the start," Peter collapsed with more tears. "I have forgotten Neverland."
"Be grateful my mother went to visit Jeanette and Nicholas!" I got up from where I sat sewing and helped him up. "If my mother had heard the crash and ruckus you had made, it might be quite hard for us to come up with an explanation."
"I will never see Tink again," Peter whimpered. "Or the Lost Boys. I shall never get Teddy back. I cannot even remember what Neverland looks like. I've forgotten everything, Annie."
"I suspected that might happen," I left his side to grab what I was sewing. "And so I went and sewed this for you while you were gone." I began to whisper. "You gave me your bit of Neverland once, and nowI shall give you mine."
In Peter's hands was a teddy bear. Not just any bear, mind you, for it was made out of the very scraps of the nightgown I had worn during my first adventure in Neverland. It's eyes were made out of two buttons that I remembered looked quite similar to that of Peter's Teddy, and for its nose, I used Wendy's kiss. But, perhaps, the most important bit of my creation (at least in my opinion) was that right where the bear's heart might be, I had sewn on a small, wrinkled piece of paper. A paper that I had saved and sewn on with as much promise and tenderness as the words expressed within it in a boyish scribble:
Promise Me Forever
