Teen Titans: Do you Remember?

One-Shot

Disclaimer: So not mine, so don't even bother asking for me to re-write the scripts. le sigh I also do not own the lyrics to "Do you remember?" by Phil Collins.

Summary: Robin thinks back on his failed relationship as he enters a new one and she tries to come back.


I shook my head sadly as I watched you walk out into the living room yet again, making that the tenth time already today you had ventured in here. And it wasn't like you needed something or anything, you just came to see if she had left yet, so you could come talk to me and try to get me back. I'm not stupid you know; I know what you're trying to pull and I can tell you right now that it's not going to work. We're through. We have been for quite some time now. There's no chance of an "us" anymore, not after what you put me through.
We never talked about it but I hear the blame was mine

I'd call you up to say I'm sorry,

But I wouldn't want to waste your time

'Cause I love you, but I can't take anymore


For the longest time after you left me, I wanted to talk to you, call you when you were out, wanting to just talk to you to find out what happened. Because I loved you, you know that? I loved you so much, or at least I thought I did. But after awhile I gave up and decided I wouldn't waste anymore of your precious time with him. I started brooding and I couldn't shake myself out of my depression; that is, until she came along and tried to help me. She helped me to see that life didn't revolve around the people who refused to love you back.


There's a look I can't describe in your eyes

If we could try like we tried before

Would you keep on telling me those lies?

Do you remember?


Every time I see you, even after we broke up, after you left me, there was this look in your face. A look that I noticed was there even before you left me. I can't even describe the look, it was almost like a look of indifference. Indifference to whether you wanted to be with me, whether you wanted to see me, talk to me, indifference to whether I loved you, to whether you loved me or not... If you had, for some strange reason, come back to me, would you have kept lying to me? Would you have tried to keep telling me how you felt, even if it was a lie? Would you have told me there was someone else? That the same someone else was secretly kissing you and holding you and making love to you at night when you were supposed to be with me. Do you remember the nights that I waited up for you, when I thought you were only out doing something by yourself? Do you remember lying down next to me and lying straight to my face? Do you remember dreaming of him while you were sleeping next to me, crying out his name in your sleep?
There seemed no way to make up,

'Cause it seemed your mind was set

And the way you looked it told me,

It's a look I know I'll never forget


I tried as hard as I possibly could to get you back, but you wereset on where your heart belonged and it wasn't with me. That fateful day when I overheard your conversation with him, in our own kitchen, as you told him you loved him and that you were officially done with me. When you came to see me that night, you knew that I knew but that didn't stop you from breaking my heart all over again. I know it wasn't something you consciously did, at least I can only hope it wasn't. I'm sorry if I pushed you away; I know that I brood too much, that I obsess over my work too much, that I'm probably not there all the time for you, but then why didn't you come to talk to me instead of running into his arms?


You could've come over to my side,

You could've let me know

You could've tried to see the distance between us

But it seemed too far for you to go

Do you remember?


You could have told me that you were upset with me, that I wasn't the same person you supposedly fell in love with so long ago. Why didn't you want to try and fix this, fix us? Were we not worth the work? Was I not worth it? Apparently it was too much work for you and you got scared and left me. You didn't want to have to work to be happy, even though I was willing to change for you. Do you remember asking me to change once? It was so long ago and yet, I thought you weren't being serious, so I did nothing about it. But later on, she was the one who made me see that I didn't need to change; that I was perfect and okay just the way I was. That there was nothing wrong with me, with who I really was deep down inside.


Through all of my life,

In spite of all the pain

You know that people are funny sometimes,

'Cause they just can't wait to get hurt again,

Tell me do you remember?


You know, I waited around for you for so long and I kept punishing myself because I thought I still wanted to be with you, to love you and to have you love me back. She kept talking to me, catching me in and after my failed attempts with you and telling me that you weren't worth the obvious pain that was being caused. I dismissed her because I thought she was wrong and I almost ruined any chances of being with her later. But she knew I was merely love struck and she waited patiently for me, putting aside her own feelings for me so she could help me get over your pain. Do you remember me telling you that I was hurt by your actions but that I was willing to look past them and work on our relationship? And do you remember brushing me off and discarding me time after time again whenever I threw myself upon your feet?


There are things we won't recall,

And feelings we'll never find

It's taken so long to see it,

'Cause we never seemed to have the time


Looking back, I can't even seem to find what it was about you that drew me in at the very beginning; why I felt the way I did about you for so long. I forgot what it was about you that I was in love with and I came, finally, to the conclusion that I was merely in love with a memory, a wisp of a dream that I wanted with you. As I delve into our past, I think I can even see the hidden feelings we may have had for each other, but I can also see where those feelings became moot and no longer meant anything to us. I can't believe it took me this long to see that maybe I was never even in love with you. But what I can't believe even more is the fact that we never saw this coming because we never had the time to think about us, if there really even was an us. As I sit here, watching you look over here, trying to get the chance to come talk to me and apologize, I regret most the fact that I had someone waiting for me to whom time was no object and who would wholly love me for who I was and was content not to change me in any way.


There was always something more important to do,

More important to say

But "I love you" wasn't one of those things,

And now it's too late

Do you remember?


Even when you broke up with me, it was done hastily as you had more important things to attend to. During our meager relationship, there was always something more important than me, than us. You had to train or go buy something essential instead of go to the movies with me; you had to shower rather than come and talk with me; you had business to attend to at Titans East instead of share my bed with me.

But you know what? I was glad that we never took our relationship to that next level, because I would have hated to look back upon it and regret it profusely, which I know I would have. And you would have as well. You would have regretted it because you would have felt nothing for me, it would have meant nothing; I would have felt as if I had betrayed the very woman who I was not even aware I was truly in love with yet, the one I was destined to be with forever.

But you still had more important things to do than to just be with me and even telling me that you loved me was far down on the list of things you would do with me. You rarely hugged me anymore, I think we only kissed less than a dozen types and they were always quick, unfeeling, unimportant. I don't think I can even recall you saying "I love you"...ever. Did you? Even at one time, maybe? No. Wait. I don't want to know anymore.

I don't want you to come over by me and tell me that you always loved me and that you simply made a mistake. I don't want you to tell me and it's not because I would feel like I made a mistake by finally giving up on you, but I would feel like I was making a bigger mistake by believing you when I knew it was a lie. When I knew, and still know, and there is another who truly loves me and will never falter, no matter the obstacle in front of us.

But it's too late for you now. I watch you as you slink away back to your room as I put my arm around her and kiss her softly, giving her more love in a simple gesture than you could ever have given me in our entire relationship. It's too late for you to say those words, too late for me to accept them as well... I am happy finally and I cannot believe I almost missed out on this opportunity just so I could wait around for you to change your mind and come back to me.

Do you remember the first time you saw me actually smile as she hugged me in the living room and clasped her hand in mine, keeping me from floating away? Do you remember the way I was able to walk into the room without seeing you and walking over to you? Do you remember, Starfire, the first time that I kissed her, that I kissed Raven upon the roof and you happened to see?

Do you remember seeing my old heart, all wrapped up in your lies buried deep in the trash as I turned you away at my door? Do you remember how much I love her every time you go to bed, and even when you wake in the mornings? Do you remember that we used to have something special, but that it really wasn't as special as what I have with her? Do you remember me, period? Do you remember us? Do you remember what we had, what we almost had? Do you remember anything at all? Do you remember the moment you lost it all, when you walked away from me for good? Do you remember the exact moment my heart stopped beating intensely for you? When your heart gave up on me? Do you remember...?

I don't.

I don't want to ever again either. You are my past and she is my future.

Do I want to remember?

No, but I will remember. I will remember Raven and how much she loves me. I will remember how much I love her, how much I long to see her and touch her and be with her. I will remember how she was always there for me and how you weren't. I will remember me. I will remember her. I will remember her and I, us. But I will forget you. And I will remember that you have not forgotten me. I will remember your loss was her gain, my gain, our gain. In the end, you will remember unhappiness and pain while I will remember contentment and love. I will remember. Period.


A/N: Well, whatcha think of this one? It was a lot of fun to write and I needed a break from homework and my other stories. Now this is just a one-shot so there will be no more of this particular story, but I promise I will try to get my other fics updated quickly and get some more new ones out there as well. So hit that little button down there and let me know what you think? Did it suck? Did it rock? Did it do mediocre? Tell me now and I'll give you anything you want, figuratively, that is. winks L8R Daze... SCP