I'm sure no one is going to review this. I just reread this, and the last time i updated, it was in September…

All the caracters are OOC…

Plus…everything just DOESN"T MAKE SENSE.

OK after all this I'm positive now that I will not get any reviews.

:wails: DID YOU SEE HOW SHORT THE CHAPTERS WERE?

Please forgive me.

Disclaimer: already said it.

Chapter 13

888Harry's POV8888

Why on Earth? I don't even like the girl.

True, she did kiss me. But it wasn't the first time.

I know, I know I like her as a friend and all…she is my best friend with Ron, after all, but…when she comes into a room or something, nothing happens. My face doesn't get hot, my hands don't get sweaty…hell my heart maybe even slows down due to boredom. But how can I know that?

Oh gosh why am I THINKING about her…

She obviously never even looked at me.

She's a HUFFLEPUFF for crying out loud.

So why is my cheek burning after Hermione kissed me?

Wait. There's a mirror in the bathroom. Let me go see…

888Hermione's Diary888

December 26th, 3 o'clock in the morning

Everything is going just terribly wrong…

I was peacefully sleeping when I heard a scream.

I swear to Merlin that first, I jumped out of my skin onto the floor, my heart itself jumped out of my chest and raced to the bathroom, me following, I must add…and then my blood just froze in my veins as I stared in utter horror at the scene in front of me.

Harry's face was just…completely swollen!

If it would have been Ron, I would be dead of laughter right now…

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT HARRY IS ALLERGIC TO MY ONE POUND LIPGLOSS?

How on earth is he supposed to like me after this?

Well I don't know. But I do know that when he saw my reaction—oh he is sexy shirtless, by the way—he just said: "It's ok Hermione, go back to bed. My face is just a bit messed up because I think I kind of reacted to your one pound lip gloss, but it's no big deal. It's happened before."

So I just went back to bed like an obedient little girl.

But…if this already happened to him BEFORE…that means another girl KISSED him.

OH in the name of Merlin…

8888

Petunia went upstairs to console her son. Vernon, against his own will, called the police. Mr and Mrs Granger, doing as if they didn't know anything, left.

Vernon was left alone in the living room, sipping a glass of red wine.

"I always wanted to get rid of that stupid magic boy."

He smiled, and downed his glass in one shot.

He wiped his moustache, left his glass on the coffee table, thinking: "Petunia will clean it up in the morning." Then, he got his big derriere to bed, dreaming about a new life without Harry.

88888

888Dudley's diary888

January 4th

THANK GOODNESS THEY'RE ALIVE!

Harry showed up this morning. He had forgotten his trunk, he had said. He was accompanied by Mr Granger, but Hermione stayed in the car.

I did get a glimpse of her lovely, bushy, voluminous hair…

Oh it made my heart flip over and do hip-hop in there…

Wait a minute. Do you think that if I learned hip-hop, it would impress her?

I'll ask dad if he can pay some classes.

I'm TOTALLY on the way to a new, better, American life.

Oh it will be better.

Because even though Hermione is English, it will be better.

Oh Hermione.

A/N If ever people ever read this, I will be grateful for LIFE. And review, please!

I'm sorry if this was random. I have to kinda go, and anyway, I didn't have anymore inspiration so I stopped it there…personally, I think that you will laugh if you are tired and you read this.

Anyway.

This is a chapter from a story that should be dead since a looooooooong time.

So there.

Lassa xxx

Aka Gen