Wow, this was definitely the hardest chapter for me to write! I almost cried! I just hope no one ends up hating me for this. It is also because of this and the previous chapter that I have upped the rating to R.
Chapter Ten
"God, Michelle, are you – did he- " Remus was almost frantic with worry as he quickly untied her. Taking off his robes, he put them over her shoulders to cover her up. He pulled her to her feet as she wiped away her tears.
Not saying anything, Michelle cried as Remus wrapped his arms around her. "Shh, it's all right. You're safe now, I'm not going to let Malfoy hurt you anymore," Remus said as he pulled her close to him, leading her out of the library. "Come on, I'm taking you to Madame Pomfrey, she'll take care of you, all right?" Still not saying anything, Michelle nodded wearily as she clung to Remus, letting him practically carry her out of the library.
Remus kept his wand in his hand, lighting their way as they slowly traveled the seemingly endless corridors and stairs to the Hospital Wing. He tried not to dwell on the thought that none of this would have happened if he hadn't asked her to meet him, or that he could have prevented Malfoy's attack if he had been there earlier. I can't believe I was so stupid, Remus thought. He was drawn out of his thoughts of self-disgust as he felt Michelle shivering, and he tightened his arms around her, trying to reassure her that he was there.
When they finally reached the Hospital Wing, Remus called for Madame Pomfrey. She came out of her room wearing a long white nightgown, looking surprised to see them there. "Good heavens! What on earth happened?!" She asked as she took Michelle and led her to the nearest bed.
She began checking Michelle for injuries as Remus told her what he knew. "Well, Miss Cooke, you seem to be physically all right, but I'd like to keep you here for a while just to make sure. I would also like to do a few more tests on you, Michele, if that's all right." At Michelle's nod, Madame Pomfrey turned to Remus. "Remus, I think you'd better get the Headmaster. He should know what's happened," She said, glancing at Remus before turning back to Michelle.
"Yes, Madame Pomfrey," Remus said as he left after promising Michelle he'd be back soon.
Remus returned not long after with Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. Both had concerned expressions on their faces as they approached Michelle's bedside. "Miss Cooke, Remus has told us his point of view of tonight's events. Would you mind telling your side of the story? I have already sent Mr. Filch to collect your classmates," Dumbledore said.
Michelle nodded, began to tell her view of what had happened in the library. She felt tears form in her eyes as she told her story, and Remus took her hand in his, trying to comfort his friend. When Michelle finished talking, Madame Pomfrey asked to speak with the Professors in her office.
"Headmaster, I think there is something you should know," Pomfrey began as she closed the door to her office. "Mr. Malfoy may not have successfully raped Miss Cooke tonight, but from what I can tell, the poor girl has been raped by someone. More than once."
"My God," Professor McGonagall looked thunderstruck. The idea that something like that could happen to anyone, especially one of her favorite students, was appalling. "Is she going to be all right?"
"Physically, she will be fine." Pomfrey looked uncharacteristically bitter as she spoke. "However, if she is really going to be able to recover, Miss Cooke will need all the support she can get from her friends," She said sadly. She too found it nearly impossible to believe that someone could be so cruel to another person.
Professor Dumbledore looked equally bitter as he said, "I'm sure Mr. Lupin and his friends will do there best to look after her. They are a remarkably close group of youths." As he turned to leave the office, he paused saying, "Minerva, would you mind sending an owl to Mrs. Cooke? She'll need to know what has happened to her daughter, as well as her son's involvement in the attack."
"Of course, Albus," Professor McGonagall said before leaving the Hospital Wing.
Dumbledore sighed as he once again approached Michelle's bed. "Miss Cooke, I will have Madame Pomfrey give you a Dreamless Sleep potion for tonight, if you want." As Michelle nodded gratefully, Dumbledore continued, asking the one question Michelle knew she did not want to have to face. "However, before I do that, I must ask you a few more questions."
"Is that really necessary, sir?" Remus interrupted. "Can't it wait until morning?"
"I'm afraid not, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore said before turning back to Michelle. "Miss Cooke, there is no easy way to ask this, so I shall simply come right out and say it. Have you been raped before?"
Remus was shocked when Michelle bit back yet another sob before nodding sadly. "Yes, sir. I have." Remus pulled her closer to him, as if he were trying to ward off attacks that had all ready happened.
"By whom?" Dumbledore asked gently.
"My father," Michelle sobbed.
Dumbledore was shocked, not something that happened very often. He had expected her to name another student, someone from her old school, perhaps. He had known Michelle's father when he was a student at Hogwarts, and the boy he had been back then would never have been so cruel to anyone, much less his own child. "Your father?"
"Yes," she whispered, once again clinging to Remus for all she was worth. "My mum walked in just after he'd done it. That's why she divorced him. She had him arrested, but my father's family is so powerful and so feared in America that they didn't have any trouble in keeping him from being convicted," Michelle said bitterly. "They convinced the Magical Law Enforcement people that I was lying and so after my mom divorced him and got custody of me and my brother, he went back to living a normal life. As if nothing had ever happened." Michelle choked out.
"Michelle," Madame Pomfrey said, stepping forward hesitantly. "Is your father the only one who's done this to you?"
"No," Michelle whispered between more heartbreaking sobs. "He only did it that one time. But my brother… Andrew always hated me," she breathed out. "He always resented me, because I didn't share his bigoted views, because I was smarter than him, more popular, any number of reasons. He wanted to control me, and I never would give in to him. I never did what he wanted. So, one night when mom was at work, just after we moved back to Britain, he came to my room. It was late, and I was already asleep. He woke me up by… by sitting on me, straddling me," Michelle gasped out, her face screwing up in pain as the memory flashed before her eyes. "I don't remember much else about that night, just that I was scared and in a lot of pain; everything is jumbled up. I wish I could forget everything that happened."
Remus felt tears sting his own eyes and didn't bother to wipe them away as he felt an upsurge of hatred for the monsters who had dared to hurt this beautiful, innocent girl that he loved so much. "You've never told anyone about this, have you?" He asked gently. Neither of them noticed as Professor Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey left to get in touch with both the school governors and the Ministry of Magic. They intended to see to it that neither Lucius Malfoy nor Andrew Cooke ever set foot in Hogwarts again, if they could help it.
Michelle shook her head. "No, I haven't. Andrew said he would do it again if I ever told anyone. But I wanted to tell you, Remus. I just didn't know how."
Remus looked at her in sympathy, as well as love, although she didn't know that. "What do you mean? You know you can tell me anything, Michelle."
"I know," she began. "It's just…Andrew, he… that night, he said that after he was finished with me, no one would want me. He said I'd be 'used goods'," Michelle choked out bitterly. "I know it was stupid, but I guess I never told you because I was afraid."
"Afraid of what? Me?" Remus asked in surprise.
"Afraid of what your reaction would be. I thought you would be ashamed of me for being so weak, that you would hate me," Michelle sobbed, before looking at Remus fearfully. "I don't think I could stand it if you hated me, Remus."
"Oh, Michelle," Remus sighed before sitting next to her on the bed and pulling her into an impossibly tight embrace. "I could never hate you. I love you too much."
Michelle looked at him in shock. "You love me?" she asked in surprise.
"Yes, I do," Remus sighed again before continuing. "That's why I was going to the library tonight, don't you see? I… I was the one sending you those letters," he admitted with a blush. "I can't help but think that if I hadn't sent them, you wouldn't be here," Remus said bitterly.
"Remus, this wasn't your fault. I chose to go. Besides," Michelle said as he opened his mouth to protest, "you know perfectly well that Malfoy probably would have tried to hurt me some other time, anyway. I'm just lucky you got there in time to stop him."
"I would have been there sooner, if I hadn't been so stupid," Remus muttered angrily. "I had this nice little speech planned, complete with another love poem that I was going to recite to you. But I was so nervous. I thought you'd be disappointed to find out it was me, so I almost didn't come at all. But fortunately, James, Sirius, and Peter convinced me," Remus said.
"Remus," Michelle began, "how could I possibly be disappointed to find out that the guy I've been in love with ever since I can remember feels the same way about me?"
"What?" Remus asked in surprise. "You mean it?"
Michelle smiled for the first time since she'd stepped into the library earlier that night. "Yes, I mean it Remus. Why do you think I always got so upset whenever my so-called brother insulted you? It might not have been love back then, but I definitely liked you as more than a friend, even if I didn't realize it until I was twelve," Michelle said with a small, rather pitiful laugh. "Now, what was that about poetry?"
"You want me to say what I was going to say earlier?" Remus asked.
"Yes. I need to hear it, Remus." Michelle said with a sad look in her beautiful, icy blue eyes. "I need to know that I really do mean something to someone."
Remus nodded, and began to recite the poem he'd planned on saying before.
When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee – and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love rememb'red such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
"That's beautiful," Michelle whispered in awe as she fought to keep her eyes open.
"It's Shakespeare," Remus told her. "But it's as true for me and you as it was for him."
Michelle smiled up at him and said in a very tired, but no less earnest and loving voice, "Thank you, Remus."
Remus just looked at the almost tragically beautiful girl in his arms before leaning in to kiss her. The kiss didn't last long, but it was long enough to express the love and devotion they both felt for each other. Neither of them spoke for a long time afterwards, and soon Michelle had fallen asleep in Remus' arms. Just before Remus himself fell asleep, he tightened his arms protectively around her, and silently promised both himself and Michelle that he would never let anything hurt her again.
When Madame Pomfrey returned to check on Michelle later that night, she smiled at the sight that met her eyes, knowing that the girl was indeed in good hands.
