How does this thing work?

Part 4

"You've got mail."

Disclaimer: No, the turtles are not my invention.

In addition, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince will not be out til June – the version Mikey's ordered is a fake – but he do not know that yet. So, do not go telling him yet!

I guess I should also mention, that J.K. Rowling was the brains behind Harry Potter and I think Warner Bros owns the characters (which is wrong, they belong to J.K.).

Moreover, PG for Raph does say a naughty word or two.

Early morning in the lair, Raphael sat eating his toast and listening to the morning radio program. He was recovering from his freezing shower episode the other day. He was kept warm and Mikey avoided his ho headed brother to the best of his abilities.

He was comfortable, when the alarm system went off. He jumped up weapons ready and he and Leo were at the entrance of the lair before they knew it.

Instead of finding a bunch of foot ninjas, instead there was a box.

"All this for a stupid box?" Raph grumbled, going to pick it up.

"Hang on; we don't know if it's a bomb!" Leo said, picking at the box with his sword.

"Oh come on, do you seriously think the foot are capable of building one?"

"Raphael, it still would be wise to be careful," Master Splinter came along behind them. He turned the alarm off.

"Does it have an address on it?" Splinter asked.

Raph read out the address:

"Michael Angelo,

Sewer Tunnel 12, round the bend,

Down town New York System

New York City".

"Where is Mike?" Leo asked.

"He was in the shower his music is probably too loud for him to have heard the alarm go off. I think we will have to talk to him about that," Master Splinter mused.

"Hell yeah, we could have been killed and he wouldn't have a bloody clue. Oh sorry Sensei," Raph said.

"So how come Mikey has a box with his name on it, with our address?" Leo turned to Splinter and Raph wondering why the parcel was here.

"Let's drag him out of the shower and ask him," Raph turned and walked into the lair towards the bathroom.

"What's going on? Is everything alright?" Donnie had managed to use his Bo, to help him out of his room.

"Donnie, you're meant to be resting!" Raph noticed his brother struggling to walk.

"I heard the alarm go off, what's going on," he asked Raph, who came to help him to the couch.

"Mikey's got a parcel outside our door," Raph said, as he helped Don get comfortable on the couch.

Leo walked in carrying the box and placed it on the table in front of the couch.

"Since when did we have mail delivered to our door?" Don asked Leo.

"That's what we're asking Mikey? He knows we have a PO Box, why he didn't use it," Leo rolled his eyes. He was ready to yell at Mikey about the 101 reasons why getting a parcel outside their front door is not the smartest idea in history.

"MIKEY!" Leo yelled, as he and Raph banged on the bathroom door.

"I'm having a shower!"

"Not anymore your not, get out here now or we'll come in and drag you out," Raph barked.

Mikey came out the door, a towel wrapped around him.

"Go look at what's on the table, Michealangelo and tell us what the hell it is?" Leo said.

Mikey was taken a back over Leo's anger.

"Hey it's for me!" Mikey smiled, he had never gotten a letter before, let alone a parcel.

"What the hell does 'Sewer tunnel 12, round the bend, down town New York system' mean?" Raph asked.

"That's would be where our home is," Donnie answered for Mikey.

"Yeah what Donnie said. Hey maybe I have been accepted into Hogwarts? Like in Harry Potter they knew he lived in the cupboard under the stairs!" Mikey's eyes danced with excitement.

"Mikey, Harry Potter was 11 when he went to Hogwarts and you're a little bit too old be starting school. Also as I keep telling you, magic doesn't exist," Donnie said.

Mikey pouted at Donnie.

"Michealangelo, do you know who could have sent you a package?" Master Splinter asked.

Mikey thought, it could not possibly be what he ordered on the net the a couple of days ago. But then again, he could not admit to being on the computer to his family, especially with Donnie sitting there.

"Um.. I ordered some things out of a catalogue," Mikey replied.

"Fair enough. Next time Michealangelo, you order something, can you not use this address. What if the person delivering it had see one of us?" Master Splinter said, as he gave his son a lecture.

"Yes Master Splinter," Mikey said, he wanted his family to go back to what they were doing, so he could open his box in private.

Splinter turned his attention to fussing over Donnie, which gave Mikey the time to sneak off with the box. Leo helped Splinter with helping Donnie back to his bed, while Raphael's curiosity got the better of him and followed Mikey. He wanted to know what was in that box.

Later that day, Leo was walking past the couch when he noticed something unusual.

"Mikey?" Leo's eyes widened as he saw orange clad brother deep inside what looked like a book. It was a rather heavy kind of book, on top of that. Not the usual comic book Mikey is usually caught reading.

Mikey was not paying any attention to his brother, he was too busy trying to concentrate on the book.

Leo looked to Raph who was playing a play station.

"Since when did we have a play station?" Leo asked.

"Since Mikey here bought one through that catalogue," Raphael replied.

"How come he's not playing it and you are?" Leo asked out of suspicion. Usually when Raph had hold of something of Mikey, a threat was usually involved.

"Cos he wants to read that new Harry Potter book and well, someone needs to test this out."

"Michealangelo? Tell me why you ordered a play station two?" Leo pulled the book out from Mikey's hands.

"Hey I was just getting to the bit where Harry starts his new year at Hogwarts!"

"I'll Hogwarts you in a moment, tell me why you ordered all this stuff?" Leo asked.

"Because I felt like it. Besides, why you so upset, once I have read this Harry Potter, you can be the next to read it. I know Donnie wants to read it too," Mikey said.

"Donnie would read it quicker than you would. Besides, I've already read Order of the Phoenix," Leo looked at the book in his hands and realized that it was indeed the sixth book in the Harry Potter series, "Where'd you get this from?"

"You heard him this morning, catalogue." Raph said.

"But Raph, this is the new Harry Potter book, the one that doesn't come out til JUNE!"

"So Mikey got it early, don't tell me the fearless leader is jealous that his baby brother got the latest Harry Potter before he did?" Raph smirked.

"Raph, shut up! This cannot possibly be the Half-blood Prince. Are you sure you ordered from a reliable source?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, offcourse I did. I got it on eBay," Mikey said, "Opps". Now he was done for, he had let the truth slip out to Leo.

"EBay? What the hell is eBay?" Leo shouted, hands on hips.

"MIKEY!" Donnie yelled from his room, "Get in here!"

Mikey gulped. Donnie heard, Donnie knows he touched the computer.

"Hang on, I'm dealing with him first," Leo called back.

Mikey looked at Leo and at Donnie's door, wondering which one was more likely to be kinder to him.

"Well, bring him in here and we can deal with him together!" Donnie suggested, "I'll tell you what eBay is."

"Everyone knows what eBay is. Our fearless leader is telling us he doesn't know what the shell eBay is?" Raph looked up from his game.

Donnie was now at his doorway, holding onto the doorframe.

"Mike tell me the truth, have you been near the computer?" Donnie demanded, as he looked directly into Mikey's eyes.

"What's the computer got to do with it?" Leo asked, annoyed at Donnie not waiting until he would finished with Mikey.

"I got two words for you Mikey – you're dead!" Raph pointed a green finger to his brother. Mikey pouted and gulped in worry.

"Leo, eBay is when you buy things over the internet. Mikey could have only done that if he touched my computer," Donnie pointed the machine in question.

"Well, answer him, did you touch the computer?" Leo demanded.

Mikey thought quickly, "Yeah, so what's the big deal I touched the computer, so did you and Raph."

"We were printing things up, not ordering stuff over the internet," Raph put in.

"Raph haven't you got something better to do? I mean this don't concern you, I suggest you take a walk," Leo said frustrated.

"WHAT?" Raph could not believe this. Everyone stuck around when he was in a fight.

"I'm not going anywhere! I live here remember?"

"Mikey what else did you touch on that computer?" Donnie moved towards his brother by holding onto furniture as he hobbled over towards his beloved machine.

"I went on looking for some computer games because Raph broke the Xbox."

"I didn't break the Xbox – you did!" Raph yelled back.

"Raphael, you either leave the room or I'll make you!" Leo yelled at his brother in red.

"I ain't going anywhere – not when you lot are blaming me for stuff I never did!" Raph pointed his finger at Mikey.

"Mikey!" Donnie cried in pain. He had turned on his computer and immediately spotted a couple of his files missing. He taped the keyboard in search of the lost files.

"I'm goner kill you!" Donnie began to hobble over towards his baby brother, as Mikey jumped up and started the run off. Leo and Raph grabbed hold of him, holding him in place for Donnie. Mikey fought against his brothers, as Donnie moved forwards.

Ah, the suspense is goner kill you my dear readers I know Donnie's the turtle less likely to blow up like this, but he's not well, his brothers have broken half the gadget in the house by this stage and well, now he's discovered his computer has been tampered with. He's goner blow guys – in character or not.

Also, sorry Leo fans to make him look like he's been in his own shell all these years, but I just had to have someone who was not computer savvy.