A&L Ch 2 of V 2.0
Disclaimer in Ch 1
The second chapter of my repostingness. Thank God for weekends. The first few chapters will probably not be changed very much. Much patchouli to Hyde for helping me with this chapter-ness. Isn't it wonderful how I put '-ness' at the end of everything.
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Robin couldn't help but stare wide-eyed at the back seat of the Great Black Audi. Therein was contained three very large, very over-full black plastic trash bags.
"That much?"
"There's three more in the trunk."
Robin wished she had some Advil already. "Oh. Well, did you bring a lot of coin rolls?"
"Yes," said Amon, never one to waste words.
They rode in silence, as usual.
Once at the Laundromat, Amon glanced around suspiciously. Although he would never admit it of course, he was rather worried about being seen.
"We can take four bags if we each carry two, and then come back for the remaining two. Robin, you take the two on the left side. I'll take the two on the right."
He sounds exactly like he's planning a Hunt… thought Robin. I wonder if he'll say…
Amon turned back to her with one bag in each hand. "Oh and Robin. We can't afford any more mistakes."
Yup. I guess he will. "Amon, wouldn't it be a lot simpler if you just used the washing machine at Touko's and my apartment?"
Amon paused, wondering why he didn't think of it. "I already thought of that, of course, but if that's really what you want to do, I might as well. We can't afford any more mistakes."
"So you said." And just how does that pertain to this?
"And I meant it," he added darkly. "If you keep changing the plan like this we'll run out of time. Time is what we don't want to waste now. If I'm not back to work soon, people might get ideas."
Hmm… Ideas?
"Come on," he said, darkly again, throwing the bags in the back seat. "Let's move out."
"Yes Amon," Robin sighed.
Again they rode in silence, but of course.
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Amon held two laundry bags in one hand and the orbo gun in the other, peering around the door frame at Robin and Touko's apartment. He waved the gun back and forth and his eyes shifted around… shiftily.
"All clear," he muttered into his headset. "No Touko in sight." Thank God, he thought. Bad breakup.
Robin sighed. "Amon… Touko's at work."
"But we can't afford any more mistakes!"
"Yes Amon. Quite right….whatever you say…"
Getting inside, Amon surveyed the room suspiciously before dashing over to the washing machine, peering suspiciously around each corner and doorway he came to with the orbo gun again (and the laundry).
"Are you sure this place isn't bugged, Robin?"
"Very, very, very, very sure, Amon."
"Cross your heart?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
"AND?"
"AND stew and fry and stick a needle in my eye! Happy now?"
Amon grunted.
Amon sat the bags down in front of the washing machine and did the Amon Shifty Eyes Thing again.
"All clear?"
"Amon, we're just going back to get the other two bags."
"But we…"
"… yes, can't afford any more mistakes, I know."
He fixed her with a Sullen Glare of Moderate Strength Especially Reserved For Young, Beautiful, Irritating Fire-Craft-Users. "Robin, you've got to take this more seriously. My self-sufficient reputation is at stake."
And scuttling back out the same way he came in, Amon somehow managed to get out of the apartment, down the stairs, get the bags out of the car, and come back within ten minutes.
Robin undid the twisty-ties on the trash bags and dumped the whole thing in the middle of the living room.
"What are you doing?" Amon asked (darkly). "Doesn't that go in the washing machine?"
"Eventually. But see, you have to sort it first."
" 'Sort?'" he muttered, putting obvious quotes around the word. "Why would you do that?"
"So nothing shrinks or…" Robin paused and looked at the mass of black around her. "I guess nothing would bleed…"
"Now Amon, I want you to hold up each piece of clothing, okay? And I'll tell you what setting it goes on and then you put it in one of three piles. Does this make sense?"
"Uh… Settings?"
"Just a minute." Robin went into the kitchen and got a large bottle of ibuprofen and a big glass of water for her massive headache, swallowing them as she came back into the living room. "Like hot or cold, Amon."
"Uh…lets just get on with this. We can't waste time and we can't afford any more mistakes."
"That would be why we're sorting them. Hold up a piece of clothing."
"Which one?"
"Any one."
"Uh…"
"Think of it as a random unknown piece of data you have to find. So you have to start one by one."
"Oh. I see what you mean. Black socks."
"Hot."
"Black pants."
"Cold."
"Long black shirt."
"Warm."
"There's a warm?"
Robin wondered if she would need another bottle of ibuprofen by the end of this.
"Black bath towel."
"Hot."
"Black boxers."
"Amon, do you have anything that isn't black?"
"No. Black boxers."
"Hot."
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After a very, very long time of sorting by water temperature, Robin explained to Amon that now they would have to divide each water temperature pile into something mysterious called loads.
"You see, all these things are wool, so they have to all go together in one load. All these are cotton, so they all go together. Is this making sense?"
"Uh…what's a load again?"
"How about we move on to starting the machine."
"Well… you know we can't…"
"Amon! Don't! Even! Think! About! Saying! It!"
"Robin. I just think you're not considering the time element here."
"AMON! LAUNDRY TAKES TIME! THINGS IN LIFE TAKE TIME!" Robin not-quite-yelled. Amon wondered if she ever could yell. She began to consider the prospect of bourbon on the rocks.
"I don't care. You'll have to make them take as little time as possible. It may be a fact of life that things take time, but its also a fact that I don't have time. We're wasting time just sitting here arguing about time. Let's get this done."
That has got to be the longest speech he's ever made. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. "I'm not arguing, you're arguing!" she muttered, sorely tempted to set him on fire. "Now you see this little button thing on the washer? We're going to do hot cycle things first."
"Why should we do hot cycle things first? Is it faster? It should be faster. It must be."
"Shut up, Amon. It conserves hot water."
Did she just tell me to shut up? "Did you just tell me to shut up?"
"Yes. Put half the hot-cycle things in. I have given up on further sorting. Then see the button thing I just pointed out? Turn this to 'hot' and press this, see?"
"Uh…"
"Never mind. Then see this? This is called soap, also known as detergent. I am really hoping you know that. You put this much in, and don't forget to close the lid."
"Uh…"
"Just do it, Amon! Time, remember?"
"Time!"
"Did you just use an exclamatory sentence?"
"While I'm doing this," he said, ignoring the question, "could you run that soap thing by me again?"
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Hmm. Bad idea to attempt revision while the Tsu is poking me to death and yelling something about Naruto and trees, not to mention that cats are attacking me from various angles and I haven't eaten anything all day.
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FDF: Hey, thanks! Nope, I don't mind. I might note that I am evil-ER!!!!!!
Elyndewen Startree: We do indeed. For I am evil, have a weird sense of humor, and am never satisfied. And those together are most interesting indeed…
St Earns: I my me strawberry eggs. I doubt the world is ready for the Noir Parody-ness. But the henchmen just HAD to have their say, you know? :D
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Well, there's chapter two. Practically nothing has changed in that one. Crazy Tomboy, you can call off your giant miniature evil space hamsters now… they're ripping up the window screens. :D
----Ais
