A&L V 2.0 Ch 5
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Yes, the infamous Dry Cleaning Chapter! Bwahahahahaha!!!! Once again, Hyde wrote the huge part in Italics. And this chapter is specially dedicated to GOPWA, because she just rocks, because of THE KYOUNESS and because I said I would, and because this chapter involves much Amon-ness. Mwaha.
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Amon stood staring down at Robin in the front window of a red-at-white dry-cleaning store. "Can you tell me what to do?"
"Yes. It's much, much simpler than working a washing machine, trust me. Now you take off your coat…"
"I take off my coat."
"And you give the man your coat."
"And I give the coat to the man…"
"And then you take the ticket."
"I take the ticket."
"And then we leave and go back and finish the laundry."
"Then we get the coat and leave and go back and finish the laundry."
"No, no, you give the coat to the man."
"Yes, I know I give the coat to the man, Robin. We've already assessed that fact."
"No, that's not what I meant. You leave the coat with the man."
"What? Give him my coat?"
"Just leave it with him! So he can clean it!"
"Oh. And what will I do with everything I keep in the coat?"
"Well, I'd think you'd want to take it out of the coat and bring it home."
"But then everybody will be able to see I'm carrying a gun."
"Amon…"
"What am I supposed to do with my shoulder-holster?"
The dry-cleaning attendant, a short, thin middle-aged man, was watching with great amusement from behind the desk and trying not to laugh. After all, it is not every day that one gets two individuals dressed in black arguing over a coat in monotones.
"Everybody who looks at you probably thinks 'RUN! GUY WITH HIGH-POWERED WEAPONRY!' anyway, Amon. What does it matter?"
"Do they?"
"Never mind, Amon. Take everything out of your pockets."
He was about to protest, but he saw a Disturbing Fiery Light began to appear behind her eyes and quickly obeyed.
"Um, Amon? Just how many clips of ammo do you have?"
"Hmm," he muttered, and began to count. "Twenty-three… no, twenty-four."
"And you were going to just throw the coat in the machine before without taking all this stuff out?"
"No. I already did. You just didn't see me." His eyes shifted.
Added to the pile of ammo clips was a very large set of keys, several scraps of paper with illegible things scribbled on them, a cell phone, a wallet, another set of keys, a 'pocket knife' that looked suspiciously like a switchblade, and various other unknown things that had obviously been run though the wash a few times. Inexplicably, there was also a vaguely crumpled Post-It note with 'tu supernus caseus et vitulina caro et omnis mons qui eructat flammas…(1)' (here it trailed off) written on it. Robin had only a moment to ponder not only Amon's peculiar dislike for certain foodstuffs and geological features, but also his bad sentence structure, before wondering why on Earth he would possess such a thing. Apparently we will never know.
The poor dry-cleaning man tried not to look frightened, especially as Amon cast upon him a Glare Calculated To Completely Fry The Hair Off The Heads Of All Nosy Dry-cleaning People.
"Is that absolutely everything, Amon?"
"Well… no…"
"Come on, then, Amon."
"Robin," he muttered. "It's kind of personal."
"We haven't got all day. Remember everything you kept saying about 'time?'"
Robin was getting tired of this. Take the stuff out of the pockets, give the guy the coat, take the ticket, go home and take the stuff out of the dryer. And maybe drink some more coffee. It should have been simpler than the simplest thing in the world. She began to slowly remove her glasses from her coat pocket in a very determined way. It was meant to attract Amon's attention quickly and it did.
"Fine." Grimacing, he reached into a pocket deep inside his coat and pulled out…
"GASP!" said Robin.
"GASP!" said the poor Nameless Dry-cleaning Guy.
"Mutter," said Amon, and grimaced again. Being as he was too manly to blush.
For Amon had pulled out…
Oh God, Ais can't say it,
Amon had pulled out…
A COMB, A MIRROR, AND HAIRGEL!
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The ride back to Robin's was naturally quite strained. The notion that Amon's badass hair was not completely natural was just too much for Robin to take (And some others as well. Ais: NOOOOOOO!!!! –weepweep--) And thus, Amon had more time to brood. He brooded upon when he had first met Touko:
Screen: wBbbbllbBBblllLLLLbbbbwwwwbbBLLlleee…. (wavy-fade in to flashback, cue Laundromat noise)
Amon was in the Laundromat. He stuffed a bunch of clothes and towels in the washing machine and started it. He had a sort of feeling that it wasn't quite right somehow, but he figured that as long as they got wet, it would be okay. When the washing machine was done, he took the wet clothes out and put them in a plastic garbage bag. Then, he took the rest of his clothes and began stuffing them in the washing machine.
Suddenly he heard a voice behind him.
"Excuse me? You don't want to put that in there. It's dry-clean only probably."
Amon turned around and saw a pretty blonde behind him. She took the coat he was holding and examined the tag (tag? he hadn't even noticed coats had tags).
"Yes, dry-clean only."
"Dry-clean? How's that possible?" I always thought it was the wet that made them clean.
She looked at him as though he was insane.
"You've never dry-cleaned anything before? Wow, I bet you've ruined a lot of clothes."
Amon shrugged, slightly insulted, though he of course wouldn't show it. He laid the coat aside and stuffed the rest of the clothes in the washing machine. He closed the door and reached for the start button.
"Wait," she said, and Amon froze. "Don't you want to put the soap in?"
'Soap?' What language is she speaking?
"Here, let me do it for you," she offered, and Amon relinquished his clothes to the expert. She got everything washed and dried (there was a machine for drying? He never knew that; his always laid around on the floor to dry).
Amon hefted the two bags of clothes, one dry and one not, onto his shoulders.
"Say, you got a ride home?" she asked.
"I walked," he said impassively.
"How about I drive you and you won't have to carry those bags," she offered.
Amon nodded and followed her wordlessly to her car. As they drove, she tried to make conversation.
"I'm Touko," she said. "Who are you?"
"Amon," he said, and left it at that.
"Oh, you're the new hunter down at the STN-J. Dad told me about you."
He raised his eyebrows, signaling the need for explanation.
"Zaizen is my father."
He nodded. When they got to his house, she insisted on helping him carry the bags up to his apartment.
Her first comment as she stepped in the door was, "Wow, do you ever clean this place?"
Clean? An apartment? How, in a house-sized washing machine?
"Ummm," she continued, walking into the kitchenette, "Don't do many dishes, do you?"
What would I do with them?
"You got any rags around?" she asked.
He pointed to a dishtowel that had not been washed since he'd gotten it. She took it and wiped all the dust off the furniture.
"There, much better."
I wondered why everyone else's houses always lacked this gray coating on all the furniture which she calls 'dust'. Despite his extreme bachelor housekeeping, Touko felt attracted to this dark, silent, witch-hunter.
"Shall we go get some coffee? I know this great place called Harry's…"
(wbbblllbllllbllllwwllllbbblllbbbbblwwwlllbbbbbwwwbbblll...)
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"…Excuse me, Amon?" Robin said. "The turn-off is over there." Does his brooding really get in the way of his everyday life all the time?
"Yes. I was well aware of that. I am just Assessing The Area."
"Mmm-hmm."
Why do I get the strange feeling she's on to me?
Why do I get the strange feeling he knows I'm on to him?
They both turned and gave Death Glares to each other, and then realized that they were both glaring at each other at the same time, and immediately turned away, pretending nothing had happened.
And the Ais of Rampant Self-Insertion was greatly amused.
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Ais A/n: WHAT! AMON'S HAIR IS GELLED? WHY DID I WRITE THAT?
(1): 'tu supernus caseus et vitulina caro et omnis mons qui eructat flammas…' This is basically 'you above cheese and veal and every volcano' or something like that. Man, don't ask.
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Supercat: Why thank you. There will be few changes in the first few chapters. Noir is actually extremely good. And yes, I am trying not to talk. –attempts not to talk—
Elyndewen Startree: When I figure out where Hyde is, I shall be sure to tell her. Thank you!
AnimeReviewer790: Yes, my birthday is on the 19th. Happy rather late birthday, and thank you.
St Earns: The Management sincerely apologizes for the bad fade-in/fade-out cues. It had something to do with the cue-card guy's pet hamster, on life support after an unexpected bout of serious heart problems, rallying and requiring him to rush to the hospital, leaving Mirielle and Claus to do the cue cards, as everyone else was conveniently busy. As you can imagine, it didn't work so well.
Fiery Demon Fox: No Noir? ---GASP--- May laundry-eating lipgloss tubes never infiltrate your CD collection.
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Well, Ais has to do it once. Yeah, I know. But I have to do it.
(shameless plug) You know, I would really love it if you would review… because… I… I… --Ais bursts into tears, cues piano and violin—Because I simply cannot live without them! –teary puppydog face—(/shameless plug)
Mwahahaha. You have no idea how insanely amusing that is to somebody with no life.
Ivan and the tornadoes cometh. Stay safe!
----Ais
